Careercow Jack Russell Scalfani / Cooking With Jack / Jack on the Go Show / jakatak - YouTube "Celebrity" "Chef", Living Encyclopedia of Gluttony-Induced Maladies, Salmonella Elemental

[Padoru]

This fucker is in a better state than I expected, not gonna lie.

same. When i saw that video of him whining i couldn't believe that he seemed almost functional. Now of course you can tell that his body is not doing what he wants but other people would literally be laying there and could barely talk while his biggest new issue seems to be that he has vision problems.

 

[Seymour Duncan]

(pictures of Casa de Scalfani)

So THAT'S what ground zero looks like in real life? It's funny seeing it without that Cooking with Jack white balance tint, and I'm just loving how they left the ghetto overhead shot mirror in the sales pictures.

(edit: I thought it wasn't visible in the first picture, but the angle was juuust right to fade it out of view)

 

[EvilDroid64]

I've attached the house tour video from the Houselens page.

 

[Falcon Sebben]

I’d do some major fucking work if that happened to me. Jack sat by, did nothing, and let it atrophy.

EVERYBODY would do physio and work on it to regain some motion and ability in that arm. The first few days are crucial for this your brain is still plastic enough that you can regain some use of it. It'll never be 100% again but he literally just let it sit there and gave it up to God to cure. I mean world peace, natural disasters, some person with cancer? That can wait. This shambling nightmare needs his arm back so make that priority #1.

Just because it's not Aunt Myrna's abortion, he feels the need to bitch about food that looks better than anything he's ever made.

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That's because they're sick of listening to you moan about your "successful" YouTube career.

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Still looks better than any abortion he ever managed to cook.

Sure the eggs look kinda nasty and they're probably powdered and there's a distinct lack of color on that plate but eggs, biscuits and gravy? I don't see the issue with it unless it's not enough for Fatty Doo Doo.

Jack is an absolutely miserable cunt, I have to wonder if they offered him a healthier breakfast and he refused it.

Preparing food for a lot of people can be hard, and I doubt the cut rate nursing home he is at has much capacity to cook anything other than slop. But oatmeal is cheap, easy to cook in huge batches, and you can add about a dozen different things to it to spice it up nicely. Jack would probably bitch and moan about being asked to eat anything without meat in it, though. Fiber is icky.

He should be eating more oatmeal. It would do him some good.

Low glycemic carbs take longer to digest meaning you feel full longer.

The Scalfani McMansion is officially for sale.

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Archive courtesy of @Jack of the Lantern II.

Unofficial reason to sell is because it's too big with Jr. gone and Jagoff can't climb stairs anymore.

Actual reason? It's the only way to pay for the health crisis.

We have pictures!

Spoiler: The Former Scalfani Set

Spoiler: Exterior / Backyard

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Spoiler: Kitchen / Dining Room

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Spoiler: Living Rooms / Offices

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Spoiler: Bedrooms / Bathrooms

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It's not a bad looking house all things considered.

 

[AskeDead]

the house isn't on zillow or anything yet so not fully on sale yet. estimated sale price is around 469k. let's see how that works out

 

[breadandcircuses]

My active 70 year old father looks better then Jack.

Mind you, he's never had a stroke or heart attack, but goddamn!

 

[rubytintedchix]

Lmao at the treadmill upstairs. I wonder how many clothes were hung on that thing.

 

[Lou's Sentient Backfat]

Biscuits and gravy, that’s meat fat and carbs! What’s he got to complain about anyway?

Nurses like interacting with patients who have a good attitude. Jack has been bitching nonstop ever since he arrived, so he gets the closed door treatment. You just know he’s paging the staff every twenty minutes over every trivial inconvenience he can find. Sad! Many such cases.

It's not ENOUGH of said things. And it is probably low in salt too

 

[Jack of the Lantern II]

the house isn't on zillow or anything yet so not fully on sale yet. estimated sale price is around 469k. let's see how that works out

They listed it at $585,500

 

[EvilDroid64]

Lmao at the treadmill upstairs. I wonder how many clothes were hung on that thing.

I wonder if they burned more calories on the treadmill or consumed more calories from the mini fridge in the same room.

 

[AnOminous]

Now of course you can tell that his body is not doing what he wants but other people would literally be laying there and could barely talk while his biggest new issue seems to be that he has vision problems.

And that he isn't getting enough fat and grease because a retard who just had a heart attack really needs more of that shit.

It's not ENOUGH of said things. And it is probably low in salt too

I'd guess it's some of that powdered gravy mix institutional contractors have with some generic sausage.

 

[AskeDead]

They listed it at $585,500

View attachment 4668333

it is a nice house but man lmao

 

[Padoru]

I'd guess it's some of that powdered gravy mix institutional contractors have with some generic sausage.

and somehow that is still more edible and healthy than his usual cooking. Kinda shocking if you think about it

 

[breadandcircuses]

Also I'm surprised how nice the house is. I expected a hovel for some reason.

 

[SpiceyHuman]

I love the juxtaposition of Jesus pictures and Nightmare Before ChrChristmas

The number one rule for setting a house for listing photos is to remove all and any religious iconography and personal intrest decor. The potential buyers have a harder time envisioning themselves in the home and first impressions make a huge difference when house hunting. Less is always more when setting.

 

[Falcon Sebben]

The number one rule for setting a house for listing photos is to remove all and any religious iconography and person intrest decor. The potential buyers have a harder time envisioning themselves in the home and first impressions make a huge difference when house hunting. Less is always more when setting.

But it's important that they show everybody they're Christian. That's like literally the only thing that matters to them.

 

[Simon]

Hopefully the hospital staff is giving him the fattiest, greasiest food to hasten stroke #5 & death. Rainbows all around, though.

 

[Kosher Salt]

Fuckin' lost it right there.

"So whether you eat or drink or whatever you do, do it all for the glory of God."

Sure, fatty doo-doo. Sure.

 

[Blobby's Murder Knife]

Whatever they buy next, they are going to get raped on interest compared to what they are paying now. It is part of the reason prices are falling in many markets.

 

[Hungry Homeless Handjob]

Selling into a declining housing market while mortgage rates are nearing a 15-year high, what could possibly go wrong?