Shane Edward Nokes / @NorrathReaver / Daddy Cum Cannon - Internet Tough Guy and “Retired Cybersecurity Expert” who worked with the US Secret Service and FBI – In reality, a perpetually unemployed leech on disability benefits who threatens people on the internet all day. Raped with a butterknife.

[Fucking YTs]

Hold the fucking phone, wasn't this lazy nigger talking shit just a few days ago about how "real men built their own PCs" and flexed the exact same PC he's talking about how he got pre-built? What a fucking loser.

EDIT: HE FUCKING DID
View attachment 4892058

This is his pre-built computer he flexed so hard about building:

Spoiler: Photos

His Photo:

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Adoroma link: https://www.adorama.com/cyslc10640cp.html (a)

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Archive of his tweet, so he can never live this down.

 

[AirdropShitposts]

Some more minor information on Shame:

Apparently he made up a company called "Random Thoughts Media" and said he was the principal owner and operator.

They were big on producing the random thoughts, not so much the media.

 

[A Sunset]

Some more minor information on Shame:

View attachment 4892294View attachment 4892298View attachment 4892302View attachment 4892306

Apparently he made up a company called "Random Thoughts Media" and said he was the principal owner and operator.

He also apparently made up another company "Hotwired PC" once again saying he was the principal owner and operator.

He also lied (Shock!) about leaving high school to work for the government. He attended Rainier High School in Washington and graduated at 18, just like everyone else.

We’re getting to the point where we might have to make a Shane Nokes “Lie List”. Showing all of the statements he’s made that have been DEBOONKED.

Statement 1: I left high school early to work for the government. FALSE

Reality: Shane lied, and graduated exactly the same as everyone else. He is also fat.


Statement 2: I’ve built my own computers from scratch since the 80s. FALSE

Reality: Shane lied, and the computer he showed in the photo is a Cyberpower pre-built PC for normies. He is also fat.


Statement 3: I’m just over 205 pounds, and my fist will punch you dead. FALSE

Reality: Shane lied, and is a big porky blubber boy, whose bitch tits alone weigh at least 300 pounds. He has neuromuscular issues (likely caused by obesity) and, by his own admission, cannot lift a shopping basket. He is very fat as well.

 

[John Andrews Stan]

He attended Rainier High School in Washington and graduated at 18, just like everyone else.

He brags that 18 is “early” to leave high school. I think this faggot has legit brain damage.

 

[Neo-Nazi Rich Evans]

i recently read a confederacy of dunces and this thread gave me serious flashbacks. the reddit post in particular make me think of him as a real like ignatius reilly. him being overweight, an idiot, having zero accomplishments but thinking highly of himself, him only working menial jobs but his ego builds him up as being super important, the getting fired from said menial jobs for his own fault but not owning up to it, him thinking his writings are super important, everyone who meets him hates him, and finally how he really does need to be in a mental hospital. shane is a real life ignatius and you cant convince me otherwise.

>Programming a flight simulator on his Commodore 64 at age 4
This confused me a lot at first- 4 year olds aren't known for their linguistic capabilities or fine motor control, but programming isn't conceptually difficult, and a cursory search led me to finding out that the Commodore 64 ran on a form of BASIC (not a revolutionary discovery I know but this is a layman's perspective), but more importantly, that a popular and quite accessible book was written full of guides on how to create text-based BASIC games.
View attachment 4890096
http://www.vintage-basic.net/games.html
This, interestingly, included a couple of things that could be called rudimentary flight sims. Not the sort that most enthusiasts would actually consider such, but they involve a plane and a spaceship respectively.
I think it might be possible for a 4 year old to copy down text from a book like this, but I'd be more inclined to believe it was actually 6 or 7. I'm being extremely generous to this guy really. Though the point is more figuring out just what the hell he meant by coding a rudimentary flight simulator, and considering the way he blows up and aggrandizes other things from very minor relations and achievements, I think it's most likely he copied a text game when he was a kid and worded it in a way that sounds much more impressive than it actually is.

for the c64 it wasnt uncommon for people, especially kids, to type in source code for simple games which was found in books, instruction manuals, etc. i find it pretty interesting, but saying this makes you a programmer is absurd, it is more like data entry. it's like saying you followed a step by step guide on building a plastic model car so now you brag how you designed your own car at age 5. if shane really did program a flight simulator on his own at 4 he must have made some pretty impressive stuff since then. come on shane, show us your code? post your github or gitlab and let's see how amazing and genius you are at programming. i want to see what a genius who has been programming since age 4 can design.

I saw Shane Nokes at a grocery store in Olympia yesterday. I told him how cool it was to meet him in person, but I didn’t want to be a douche and bother him and ask him for photos or anything.
He said, “Oh, like you’re doing now?”
I was taken aback, and all I could say was “Huh?” but he kept cutting me off and going “huh? huh? huh?” and closing his hand shut in front of my face. I walked away and continued with my shopping, and I heard him chuckle as I walked off. When I came to pay for my stuff up front I saw him trying to walk out the doors with like fifteen butter knives in his butt without paying.
The girl at the counter was very nice about it and professional, and was like “Sir, you need to pay for those first.” At first he kept pretending to be tired and not hear her, but eventually turned back around and brought them to the counter.
When she took one of the knives and started scanning it multiple times, he stopped her and told her to scan them each individually “to prevent any electrical infetterence,” and then turned around and winked at me. I don’t even think that’s a word. After she scanned each knife and put them in his ass and started to say the price, he kept interrupting her by yawning really loudly.

ftfy

He brags that 18 is “early” to leave high school. I think this faggot has legit brain damage.

honestly i could see him being such a big retard that he drops out his senior year. he left school early, means he quit highschool 4 months before he graduated.

 

[John Andrews Stan]

honestly i could see him being such a big retard that he drops out his senior year. he left school early, means he quit highschool 4 months before he graduated.

Yeah, he pointedly doesn’t use the word graduate, does he?

 

[Manul Otocolobus]

It's interesting, his mother was married to Dan Lane for 30 years in 2018. In 2018 Shame was 37. So Dan Lane was his step father. His biological father is Michael Nokes of Centralia, WA, who apparently his mother could only stand for 7 years at a minimum before kicking him to the curb and marrying a new man, who she stayed with until she died. Dan Lane, his stepfather, still lives in Rainier, WA, which is where his mother lived until she died. I wonder if he lived with his mother or his father, since I get conflicting info on which HS he went to, Centralia HS or Rainier HS.

 

[Kirby]

this is actually depressing

Shane was probably at one point a decent person with hopes and dreams as big as his stomach but was mindbroken by doing grunt level meatshield tech support for 17 years. the 8 hours of getting screamed at by children and manchildren demanding he fix their xbox while he would just have to suck their dick and be a punching bag for them probably made him snap into the internet tough guy he is today. he is showing off the metaphorical equivalent of a Sonichu medallion on twitter and acting like it is proof that Bill Gates himself asks Shane for advice.

the only saving grace was that he could say he worked at Microsoft and because he's not a pajeet people who dont care enough about him to bother checking would assume he was a computer engineer with a background in computer science. sadly because of this thread he doesn't even have this small consolation anymore. everyone now knows that he is not just a retard, he is a pathetic retard.

 

[WULULULULU]

Maybe a non-political lolcow can be popular again? I dunno, kinda tired of politics shit in my enjoyment of lurking lolcows last year.

Holy shit my wish occurred in March 2023. I can stop lurking now, thread is gold and a keeper.

 

[sanguiduct]

I just remembered a time many years ago when my friend prank called Xbox support to tell them he had gotten his dick stuck in his Xbox. Without missing a beat the guy on the other end deadpanned "did you try turning it off and back on?"

Why couldn't you be more like your coworkers, Shane?

 

[ten dollars off]

I'm still working out why the babysitter went for a butter knife. Of all the kitchen utensils, why a butter knife?

Isn't it ironic? Don't you think?
IT'S LIKE SHAAAAAAAANE

How the fuck so you get raped by a butter knife? Did someone just stick it up your ass and stir it around like a Nutella jar?

maybe he was constipated and his babysitter was trying to get him started like you do with a ketchup bottle

A retard and worked for Microsoft in customer support. Checks out.

It's weird how much he brags about microsoft. it's not even a glamorous tech gig like one of the MAANG companies (Meta, Apple, Amazon, Netflix, Google). It's like saying you worked for Pepsi or Toyota.

Ok guys he said A butter knife not butter knives gosh

Actually, this brings up a disgusting point: the babysitter used the same butter knife on all of them.

 

[Hyacinth Bucket (Bouquet)]

Holy shit my wish occurred in March 2023. I can stop lurking now, thread is gold and a keeper.

He does a lot of political sperging but it's more fun to go for the weirdo stuff. He's exactly the same in those instead of "ACKSHUALLY IT IS A DUMDUM, I AM VERY SMRT" it's "ACKSHUALLY TRUMP IS A TRAITOR; I AM VERY SMRT."

 

[User 67204]

I mean, isn't Nikocado still popular these days.

It's just that alot of non-politcal lolcows are less vocal and public about their views to others.

 

[BlaireWhitesBottom2]

Isn't it ironic? Don't you think?
IT'S LIKE SHAAAAAAAANE



maybe he was constipated and his babysitter was trying to get him started like you do with a ketchup bottle


It's weird how much he brags about microsoft. it's not even a glamorous tech gig like one of the MAANG companies (Meta, Apple, Amazon, Netflix, Google). It's like saying you worked for Pepsi or Toyota.



Actually, this brings up a disgusting point: the babysitter used the same butter knife on all of them.

All the more likely it's horse shit lol... Like the babysitter was a woman with a butter knife fetish for both genders of children. Surree fatty 2 by 4 couldn't get through the bedroom door!

 

[Sammich]

View attachment 4891748View attachment 4891744


View attachment 4891768View attachment 4891756 A brief study of images that should drive this guy crazy. Stand by for a part 2 knife study.

you will never convince me you aren't posting your feet on purpose and the knives are just a subversion. You silly bastard, lol.
that is a nice hardwood floor though.

 

[Poonocchio]

Isn't it ironic? Don't you think?
IT'S LIKE SHAAAAAAAANE

It's like 10 thousand spoons, when all you need is a (butter) knife.

 

[internet friend]

Shane was probably at one point a decent person

Unfortunately that was 30 years and 300 lbs ago

 

[Johnny Salami]

How can we make this the first result for when you search up Shane Edward Nokes?

 

[HarveyMCR]

Hold the fucking phone, wasn't this lazy nigger talking shit just a few days ago about how "real men built their own PCs" and flexed the exact same PC he's talking about how he got pre-built? What a fucking loser.

EDIT: HE FUCKING DID
View attachment 4892058

So this guy is claiming that he doesn't have the neuromusclar skill push a handcart, but he also claims that he has the precision to insert a CPU into a motherboard without fucking up the pins?

I'm not even mad at the guy. But if you're going to lie about something, at least make your lie consistent

 

[Satan McAllister]

His whole life revolves around Microsoft. Lick that corporate boot, shitheel.