Careercow Brandon "Bam" Margera - From Jackass to Lolcow

[Almighty Space Duck]

Perhaps I'm late and gay but what happened to his lambos?

I assume he blew them up and sold them for a pittance.

 

[Glowie]

Man jackass finale is wild one dead, one wanted by the police then the deadbeat.

I wonder when the manhunt episode airs

 

[SpergioLeonne]

I just want to see video of the FBI storming his tree fort

 

[oramge cat]

First Tucker Carlson is fired, then Don Lemon is fired, then James Corden's show cancelled, then Sega of America unionized, then Wizard of the Coast hired Pinkertons, and now Bam Margera is on the run from state troopers. You fucked up now, Bam.

By the way, doesn't Bam remind you of the possessed farmer from Men In Black?

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He's going to be indistinguishable from current-day Ethan Ralph in 10 years.

let's hope he packed enough meth to have a sweet log cabin up already

Somehow he'll acquire enough catalytic converters and bicycle parts to cobble together a crude helicopter and fly to freedom.

Hi, im a black bear and this is eating the face off a junkie I found unconscious behind this log

This is how the sequel to Cocaine Bear starts.

 

[DankSmoker]

All I know is that I'm going to make fun of my brother however this turns out.

 

[Yeeted Teet]

Perhaps I'm late and gay but what happened to his lambos?

It was sold a couple of years ago to (the guy who owns) a secondhand high end car dealership. The caption and photos imply that April brokered the sale.



Not sure if they sold it on or just keep it in their showroom for the novelty factor.

 

[VargReallyDidNothingWrong]

Who want to taste my General Tso
You wanna taste my General Tso I give it to you now

holy shit you just transported me back to junior high school, FunnyJunk on the library iMac's before the bell for 1st period... makes me miss my velcro wallet with a chain on it and my JNCOs.

Now excuse me, I have a fine Spineshank album to listen to while I eat some GoGurt my mom packed for me in my lunch bag.

 

[The Taco Santo!]

nah, his voice is super weirder though , not an accent thing.
its like he's got lockjaw or something.

Dry mouth/clenched teeth from stimulant abuse.

It'll be even more relevant if he An Heroes like in the video, too.

He doesn't have the balls to jump off a building. TBF, most people don't. It's something to do with leaving behind a fucked-up corpse.

Never had Bam turning into a drunk hysterical bigfoot on the cards.

Not Bigfoot, people want to find Bigfoot. Don't do my hairy man bad like that.

 

[Asian tech support]

Holy fuck. The houses out there are really nice. This is what he did to it? If he has to unload it like that the types of people who can afford to live out there aren't going to give a full market price because of the insane amount of renovations to undo all that horror.

The last time I stayed up in that area the silence was deadening. You could hear a pin drop. It's dead quiet all night and really dark. It was so silent and so pitch black I could barely sleep because I'm not used to it. If you wanted to hide in the woods I don't think anyone would notice you unless you made a ton of noise. A lot of people out there are rich and just drive to activities or stay indoors or on their patios. No one's gonna notice you out there unless it's deer season or something.

I'm familiar with the area and this is correct. You do get river people and rich manchildren ripping through the woods though. He's probably long gone by now but it'd be funny if he gets found by a couple tipsy good ol boys out wheeling.

 

[MirnaMinkoff]

Newest TMZ article about a staged intervention and Jessica fucking it up.
TMZ

I was right about the Shaman and Bam’s family staging an intervention. Great his new homeless tweaker girlfriend showed everyone who’s boss. She’s not going back to skid row after snagging a sugar daddy! Do you know how hard it is for tweaker hobos dragging around a kid to land a sugar daddy!?

I hope Ape gets her daughter under the auspices of some social services in PA before she gets drug back to the streets of LA with tweaker mom who uses her for a welfare check.

I’m going to guess Bam showed up in PA because the money faucet got turned off hard.

 

[Nate Higgers]

any medfags can say what the fuck's up with his voice? missing teeth or what? it sounds so weird- its kinda been heading that way a while, but not to this extent. Brain injury, even?

I thought it was just chalked up to a philly/delco/PA white trash accent

 

[Meat Target]

I can imagine a amish fucker stumbling into his innawoods shack and thinking hes some sort of a dang ol wendigo or wildman

It's fuckin' Bamsquanch season

 

[TheSaltySpitoon]

Hi, im a black bear and this is eating the face off a junkie I found unconscious behind this log

That’s how you get methed up bears running around West Chester. Now THAT would be good content.

 

[Hollywood Hitler]

any medfags can say what the fuck's up with his voice? missing teeth or what? it sounds so weird- its kinda been heading that way a while, but not to this extent. Brain injury, even?

He's always talked like a fat kid with marbles in his mouth, even when he was skinny.

 

[Yeeted Teet]

This is a bit rich considering Bam's family have been some of the biggest enablers of all.

 

[MirnaMinkoff]

Is Jesse living in “Castle Bam” (I cringe typing that)? It sounds like Jesse is staying in it, which makes sense since it’s costly and bad to let a house be unoccupied and insane insurance costs, but it also meant he had to make room for crazy Bam, his tweaker GF and poor kid, on a dime when Bam whirled into PA again. I’d almost bet Bam showed up there just to punish Jess for the most recent intervention and try to kick him out of “his” house. (I’d also bet Bam hadn’t been paying for the upkeep on that house but Jess or his parents have.)

 

[Jeff_the_Thriller]

He's probably long gone by now but it'd be funny if he gets found by a couple tipsy good ol boys out wheeling.

If he spent the night innawoods last night without shelter, he's going to be looking like Jack Nicholson at the end of the Shining. Not too familiar with West Chestern but there's a lot of junkies. Maybe he got lucky and found a hobo camp with like minded junkies. As one of those good ol boys who goes out wheelin' I've come across hobo camps in areas much more rural than West Chester.

 

[Lurka Derka]

Bam was only in the woods for about an hour

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He may have fled in this car?

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edit:BAM may have been spotted drinking and screaming in a car in front of someone's house in Maryland.

 

[Terfatron]

Update from TMZ ARTICLE: It appears Bam beat the shit out of Jesse because he yelled at him for pissing in the kitcken sink, threatened to put a bullet in his head and kill everyone in the house; Jesse + Phil + 2 women. Then ran off into the woods.

Bam Margera Allegedly Beat Up His Brother, Threatened to Kill Family

archived 24 Apr 2023 16:44:22 UTC

archive.ph

Bam Margera Allegedly Beat Up His Brother, Threatened to Kill Family

Bam Margera is a wanted man in Pennsylvania on a slew of criminal charges -- this after cops say he got into an altercation ... and made a getaway into the woods.

www.tmz.com

Late to the Bamalam party but fuck me this is retarded on a whole nother level.
We all been watching his downfall with a morbid fascination.
From the divorce, to seizures to bam scoring with fat bar whores. Shaman antics and now running in to the woods.
It's been escalating from bad to worse to a downright alcohol fueled spergaton from Bam and I would say this is the most unhinged, so far...

The state need to give bam a designated tard wrangler since rehab obviously don't work nor the promise of a return to Jackass.

Spoiler: On the thread being featured

Haven't reached the end of the thread but seeing it featured I just wanna say one thing;
NO, it's NOT the death of Ryan Dunn that started this.
Yes he looked good when he was younger and we all know you found jackass funny when you were in high school.

Tophat me if you need to but there is at least one post per page stating one of the three.

 

[Involuntary Celebrity]

Bam was only in the woods for about an hour
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He may have fled in this car?
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I reject this. He is becoming one with nature and fashioning a halfpipe from wattle & pitch as we speak