Easy, pardner. It was a joke*. I even softened it with a heart.
*though it's odd you found me harsh since your comment was "how do I make women want to die.". I
assumed that wasn't literally sincere (
?) and flipped it around to the usual KF kys shtick, nothing serious.
Oh, you! How many ex-husbands does a girl have to mention around here not to be falsely accused?
Weird question. What do you women think of the the Linebacker physic? I've heard a lot of women in this thread dislike fat men, but is fat with muscle a no go as well?
I literally mentioned linebackers! (and I think maybe even to you specifically but could be wrong about that). Haven't read the replies to you but I suspect responses will vary. For me, depends (and depended in my younger years as well) on how it's carried and also underlying health, energy, and baseline fitness. It would be less attractive if a person's weight kept them from doing fun or active things.
watching some guy do the Indian bread slap explaining glutanin and gleadin for like 3 hours (he says bread machines are the devil)
Look, it's not as though your only two options are "pretend you know nothing about bread" or "sperg for 3 hours at a date who just met you." It's OK to have esoteric hobbies/interests and also keep a little mystery. I don't go deep into the contrasting influences on early modernists of the French Decadents vs the Pre-Raphaelite Brotherhood unless and until...well, almost never, really. But if someone tells me they enjoy European turn of the century antiques*, then sure, I might share my own interest in Biedermeier furniture, but still not hold forth on the ideal reeding dimensions or the finer points of the ideal furniture polish/wax/oil for that period's wood.
*they never do. (Though it's also not something I look for/just a random example of a thing.)
The same goes for common/relatable interests. I could go on about football for hours. Or my kids, house, work. But going on and on about anything is a monologue, not a conversation*. Just chill with the detail, mix in some conversation about other things, and you can show off your cool kneading and chemistry skills without being overbearing/ boring/ alienating all at once. You don't have to lead with it or make pre-existing interest in it a requirement (unless it is, of course). People can learn or acquire new interests from one another. And you have some cool interests.
*this is the verbal equivalent of a thing I mentioned before that is maddening and de-interesting: lack of imagination in suggesting plans. It suggests rigidity and a very narrow scope. I'm talking years of asking me out, always literally for the exact same activity, despite the 1 billion other options out there and conversation about other things of interest. These are (2 in mind), seemingly decent, smart, stable, thiughtful people that I might like to get to know...but they can't unhook from, "hey, are you available to [same thing] this [day/date]"? These aren't even esoteric interests - for one, it's to go skiing (locally or flying to some prime places [which means a weekend away, which is too much]), see some 80s top 40 rock band, or go see a movie (of his choice/never seems to occur to him to ask my preference); for the other, it's coffee (not a glass of wine, walk in the park, pop in a museum, just...coffee. Which we've done, and it was nice, but.). Sometimes I think, hmm, these are nice people, maybe I've over-generalized/ shouldn't assume, and get anywhere close to feeling an interest in spending any time, but then the offered suggestion is exactly the same... and the feeling goes away.
Do you give space for the other person to engage, make questions but also talk about their interests? Are you interested in get to knowing the other person and their hobbies?
All your points are excellent but these ^ two are worthy of emphasis.
Going to a planetarium? I never once considered that for a date. It still feels wrong, dragging a woman around to places for shit you care about. I feel like she would hate it, she'd go along with it and regret it.
Who doesn't like stars? You're right it's good to take a date's interests into consideration, and sure some women (people) don't know/think it's fun, but it's hardly crazy or inappropriate or dull.
I think maybe I have an issue opening up to people, or an unhealthy distrust of others.
Understand, and my point still stands - if you ratchet down expectations and tread lightly/don't consider steps 3 through 48 before hitting step 1, then early days are less "trust tests" and more just spending a (hopefully) nice time.
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