Are you lost needing femoid advice post here - For the poor bastard's who dare or are just curious

This thread has made me realize how terrible I am at socializing. I think my only real pull is that I can draw really well, it's the only "in" I can think of. I express with pictures not words. It's good for romance but what comes inbetween "hello, it's nice to meet you" and "can I draw you while we listen to slow 80s music" will forever remain a mystery to me. I think it's better to do this and be myself than try and chameleon into someone else's tastes.
I'm constantly amazed by how many men appear to be trapped in this state where they don't know what women actually want. It's like all their information about the wammins comes from either other men, porn, or pop culture.
Make a fake account and pretend to be a lady on tumblr for a while. The "can I draw you while we listen to 80s music"-guy is basically a tumblr OC. You are literally some girl's fantasy character and all you have to do to complete the effect is not be fat and smelly.

Thanks. I feel extremely stupid in hindsight, and I'm glad I got some advice. I don't think my issues were with women, I think I just have this irrational fear of opening up to people.
L. Ron Hubbard says that's because your first animal incarnation was a clam. Stop being a clam.
 
I don't think my issues were with women, I think I just have this irrational fear of opening up to people.
Don't feel stupid, you keep beating yourself up for no reason bud. You sound like a completely normal person with normal/fun interests, and people would not be opposed to hearing about them at appropriate times (don't harass people in the supermarket line like real spergs do).
And don't forget that a relationship is give and take - she will go to the planetarium with you one day if you go to the whatever with her another day. And you'll both have fun because you're spending time with someone you like, and you like seeing the other person happy and excited. It really can be that simple.

It's good for romance but what comes inbetween "hello, it's nice to meet you" and "can I draw you while we listen to slow 80s music" will forever remain a mystery to me.
Yeah but it's that way for many people, that doesn't make you defective. Just keeping the conversation going and showing some interest in the other person by asking questions helps.

Drawing is a great icebreaker anyway, a lot of women used to draw when they were younger or still do and appreciate that skill. I'm not sure how it is where you are but where I am there are art collectives that do stuff on a weekday evening, and there are a lot of single women and older women with single daughters there, if you want to socialise with ladies who for sure share the same interest.
 
holy shit log off
Easy, pardner. It was a joke*. I even softened it with a heart.

*though it's odd you found me harsh since your comment was "how do I make women want to die.". I assumed that wasn't literally sincere ( :optimistic: ?) and flipped it around to the usual KF kys shtick, nothing serious.

that is

a homersexual
Oh, you! How many ex-husbands does a girl have to mention around here not to be falsely accused? (:_(:lol:

Weird question. What do you women think of the the Linebacker physic? I've heard a lot of women in this thread dislike fat men, but is fat with muscle a no go as well?
I literally mentioned linebackers! (and I think maybe even to you specifically but could be wrong about that). Haven't read the replies to you but I suspect responses will vary. For me, depends (and depended in my younger years as well) on how it's carried and also underlying health, energy, and baseline fitness. It would be less attractive if a person's weight kept them from doing fun or active things.

watching some guy do the Indian bread slap explaining glutanin and gleadin for like 3 hours (he says bread machines are the devil)
Look, it's not as though your only two options are "pretend you know nothing about bread" or "sperg for 3 hours at a date who just met you." It's OK to have esoteric hobbies/interests and also keep a little mystery. I don't go deep into the contrasting influences on early modernists of the French Decadents vs the Pre-Raphaelite Brotherhood unless and until...well, almost never, really. But if someone tells me they enjoy European turn of the century antiques*, then sure, I might share my own interest in Biedermeier furniture, but still not hold forth on the ideal reeding dimensions or the finer points of the ideal furniture polish/wax/oil for that period's wood.
*they never do. (Though it's also not something I look for/just a random example of a thing.)

The same goes for common/relatable interests. I could go on about football for hours. Or my kids, house, work. But going on and on about anything is a monologue, not a conversation*. Just chill with the detail, mix in some conversation about other things, and you can show off your cool kneading and chemistry skills without being overbearing/ boring/ alienating all at once. You don't have to lead with it or make pre-existing interest in it a requirement (unless it is, of course). People can learn or acquire new interests from one another. And you have some cool interests.

*this is the verbal equivalent of a thing I mentioned before that is maddening and de-interesting: lack of imagination in suggesting plans. It suggests rigidity and a very narrow scope. I'm talking years of asking me out, always literally for the exact same activity, despite the 1 billion other options out there and conversation about other things of interest. These are (2 in mind), seemingly decent, smart, stable, thiughtful people that I might like to get to know...but they can't unhook from, "hey, are you available to [same thing] this [day/date]"? These aren't even esoteric interests - for one, it's to go skiing (locally or flying to some prime places [which means a weekend away, which is too much]), see some 80s top 40 rock band, or go see a movie (of his choice/never seems to occur to him to ask my preference); for the other, it's coffee (not a glass of wine, walk in the park, pop in a museum, just...coffee. Which we've done, and it was nice, but.). Sometimes I think, hmm, these are nice people, maybe I've over-generalized/ shouldn't assume, and get anywhere close to feeling an interest in spending any time, but then the offered suggestion is exactly the same... and the feeling goes away.

Do you give space for the other person to engage, make questions but also talk about their interests? Are you interested in get to knowing the other person and their hobbies?
All your points are excellent but these ^ two are worthy of emphasis.

Going to a planetarium? I never once considered that for a date. It still feels wrong, dragging a woman around to places for shit you care about. I feel like she would hate it, she'd go along with it and regret it.
Who doesn't like stars? You're right it's good to take a date's interests into consideration, and sure some women (people) don't know/think it's fun, but it's hardly crazy or inappropriate or dull.

I think maybe I have an issue opening up to people, or an unhealthy distrust of others.
Understand, and my point still stands - if you ratchet down expectations and tread lightly/don't consider steps 3 through 48 before hitting step 1, then early days are less "trust tests" and more just spending a (hopefully) nice time.
 
Name the top five skills, a man must have!
Basic maintenance.
Basic mechanics.
Grilling.
Map reading.
Historical knowledge.


As an aside:

I've been perusing through this thread, reading the guy's chatting and it genuinely hurts my heart to see how many of you think so low of yourselves, to a point where you primarily choose to shut yourself in. -- I've looked into the post history of some you guys and you're genuinely incredibly funny and well spoken on several other topics, even pertaining to lore on lolcows.

When I was chatting with some of the guys in the shared Woman/Man hate thread, I noted that the primary issues they ran into were us women. We had killed your self-esteem or feeling of self-worth. So to flip it around for a moment if I may: To you guys reading this; what can we as women do to ensure that you continue to know and realize the worth you have?

ETA: OP, if you'd like me to make a new thread I will.
 
Name the top five skills, a man must have!
Basic social skills to interact with family, children, friends
Able to drive
Able to lift and move reasonably big/heavy things around the house (I am 5'2 and completely useless)
Basic maintenance skills
Cooking basic reasonably healthy meals

Only the first one is a real dealbreaker though.
 
Oh, you! How many ex-husbands does a girl have to mention around here not to be falsely accused? (:_(:lol:
So you admit you like dudes, I knew you were gay.
I feel more secure now in my guess that you're just accidentally uncanny-valley-ing people. Something about how you're acting doesn't match your looks.
Great, I already kinda had that idea in the back of my head, but now I have to figure out how to not move like a sperg.
 
Having "no interests outside of work" sounds so unbearably uninteresting like I'm picturing a guy who comes home from the office and sits on his single boxspring cot and stares quietly at the wall until it's time to sleep.
The reality of a bugmen existence.
You should not be seeking advice from the sort of women that post on KF.
He might like his women greasy and whale-like.
 
Last edited:
Basic social skills to interact with family, children, friends
Able to drive
Able to lift and move reasonably big/heavy things around the house (I am 5'2 and completely useless)
Basic maintenance skills
Cooking basic reasonably healthy meals

Only the first one is a real dealbreaker though.
Cooking healthy yet tasty food is an incredibly sexy trait to have. I feel like this would solve all the world's dating problems if everyone advertised they cooked like this.
 
Cooking healthy yet tasty food is an incredibly sexy trait to have. I feel like this would solve all the world's dating problems if everyone advertised they cooked like this.
Disagree. It's the social skills that are of highest importance for me, personally. Anyone can follow a recipe. It's the ability to remove your brain from this shell of needing to shit post at constant times to interacting like an actual human being that matter most. I understand that it's very comfy here because you have your VPN's and your alt names and your shell of security; but it's not like that out here. And you've gotta be able to roll with that as effortlessly as you do shooting the shit here.
 
Would you dump a man if he was dying of cancer
I know you're doing a shit post but this reminds me of that woman who left her husband when he was diagnosed with terminal cancer. While whining about how no one was asking how SHE was doing.

See, this is why I can't hate men. Because my sex does shit that makes me want to kick them in their throat.
 
I know you're doing a shit post but this reminds me of that woman who left her husband when he was diagnosed with terminal cancer. While whining about how no one was asking how SHE was doing.

See, this is why I can't hate men. Because my sex does shit that makes me want to kick them in their throat.
Men are six times more likely to divorce his wife if she's diagnosed with cancer or another "serious illness", than a wife is to divorce her husband.
So, you know. Both sexes can be horrible, but it's overwhelmingly more common for men to be.
 
Face for me but a lot of fat women will do anything for a "not fat" husband/boyfriend because they think it makes a point. It does, but not the one they think.
For any guy that thinks getting yolked will have women approach him, it's mostly fat chicks. Muscles help you in dating but you still have to make the first move. Large muscles make fat chicks ask you out for some reason.
try yoga, but that's ironically the biggest ick trigger a man could have.
what? I've met many girls doing yoga. None seem to have a problem, especially since I can do some of the more difficult moves (head stand, crane). Then again having blue sheets is an "ick" for most women.
 
Name the top five skills, a man must have!
  1. A skill to keep you thinking
  2. A skill to keep you emotionally resilient
  3. A skill to keep you in shape
  4. A skill to keep you creative
  5. A skill that can make money
You can develop all of these from hobbies and that's where I stole this list.
 
Basic social skills to interact with family, children, friends
Able to drive
Able to lift and move reasonably big/heavy things around the house (I am 5'2 and completely useless)
Basic maintenance skills
Cooking basic reasonably healthy meals

Only the first one is a real dealbreaker though.
You know, better question, what's an immediate dealbreaker for most women?

Like not being able to take care of yourself, or being messy or dirty, or being a jerk or something.
 
Back