Containment Random Chris Updates

[185405]

That was Finnish? I thought it was Japanese.

Flutter truly is an enigma. She's like a staunch governess chaperone/that strict aunt or grandmother who just appeared from thin air and has come into Chris's life to "tame the shrew".

To improve Christine and guide and protect her in time for the debutante ball y'all.

That's the vibes I'm getting.

I think she's just a troll/ween and/or mentally ill.

 

[Cybertonia]

Why don't these fucking weens understand. "owo I just so happened to be passing through Ruckersville and drove right by it!" Motherfucker, everyone and their mom knows at this point that 14BC is on a dead end street. You don't just pass by 14BC. You have to go out of your way to get there. And they play it off as just "oh wow Chris's house is just right there, in the middle of my totally legitimate travels, what a coincidence! And I went to the door just to see if someone lives in an obviously occupied house! Wait why is everyone calling me a ween?"

Behead all weens, roundhouse kick a ween in the head, etc, etc

 

[Shrlurmp]

> Took pictures of someone's house
> Checked to see if anyone is home like a fucking burglar
> Post it all on the internet
> "I did not harass or stalk anyone"

 

[The Dude]

> Took pictures of someone's house
> Checked to see if anyone is home like a fucking burglar
> Post it all on the internet
> "I did not harass or stalk anyone"

View attachment 5610046

He's a Redditor. Do you actually expect someone from Reddit to conduct themselves with intelligence, reasoning, and with forethought?

 

[A Wumpa Fruit]

Alright. Thanks to my no-lifing and my archive Discord server, I have managed to save the most important goodies from this reddit thread.

https://www.reddit.com/r/ChrisChanSonichu/s/TfaHuRqVrv

The guy behind it is JacksonStarship, the same guy who spotted Chris in Isabella's two weeks ago.
View attachment 5609707
View attachment 5609709View attachment 5609712
The interesting thing is, the comments and the post seem to be deleted by Jackson himself, especially since I went back to check the post and...only Jackson's comments were missing. I wonder why...
View attachment 5609713
Luckily, despite me not archiving further to wait for more info, there wasn't much more to it.
TLR - JacksonStarship went with his pals to 14BC while in Ruckersville, met Barb and cats, all in good health, greeted Barb and left. She seemed to be happy that someone visits without bothering her.

Fucking Redditors, I swear they can´t even do the easier tasks, look that retard, high-schooler in a field trip style photo and how is justifiyng like an idiot how is not harassing anyone, even between the weens, the redditor weens are more pathetic.... imagine failing being a ween

 

[The American Hedgehog]

The interesting thing is, the comments and the post seem to be deleted by Jackson himself

I took a screenshot of the thread after he deleted the OP but before he wiped all his comments. Nothing really interesting in his comments though.

 

[King Kiwi]

Alright. Thanks to my no-lifing and my archive Discord server, I have managed to save the most important goodies from this reddit thread.

https://www.reddit.com/r/ChrisChanSonichu/s/TfaHuRqVrv

The guy behind it is JacksonStarship, the same guy who spotted Chris in Isabella's two weeks ago.
View attachment 5609707
View attachment 5609709View attachment 5609712
The interesting thing is, the comments and the post seem to be deleted by Jackson himself, especially since I went back to check the post and...only Jackson's comments were missing. I wonder why...
View attachment 5609713
Luckily, despite me not archiving further to wait for more info, there wasn't much more to it.
TLR - JacksonStarship went with his pals to 14BC while in Ruckersville, met Barb and cats, all in good health, greeted Barb and left. She seemed to be happy that someone visits without bothering her.

Little bitch weens. This is harassment. You are not funny, I have followed Chris for fifteen years and i don't believe you are relative, informative or worthy of attention. Christory is not something you want to be a part of. Look at Caden.

You little bitch ass weens are asking for trouble when you STALK and HARASS Chris and Barb. You are not Christorians (neither am I) but y'all are asking to get arrested by trespassing at people's homes.

There is no "meat of it" you are committing a crime.

 

[Mariposa2.0 LTE]

Little bitch weens. This is harassment. You are not funny, I have followed Chris for fifteen years and i don't believe you are relative, informative or worthy of attention. Christory is not something you want to be a part of. Look at Caden.

You little bitch ass weens are asking for trouble when you STALK and HARASS Chris and Barb. You are not Christorians (neither am I) but y'all are asking to get arrested by trespassing at people's homes.

There is no "meat of it" you are committing a crime.

Fuck Chris. He deserves what he gets. Barb does not. All he did was leave a mess behind and expect Barb to pick it up.

 

[King Kiwi]

Fuck Chris. He deserves what he gets. Barb does not. All he did was leave a mess behind and expect Barb to pick it up.

True. But Barb's family picked it up for her

 

[Mr. Awesome Man]

It's always the same shit with these fucking weens. I'm getting sick of it.

 

[Varis]

She's speaking in Finnish.
I'm curious if one will uncover what she's saying...

Spoiler: A short lesson in Finnish

Normal text for subtitles, bold for spoken, italics for translation.

You don't pay me enough for this
Himoitsen taivutettuja amerikkalaisia mulkkuja
I desire bent American cocks

Have you been on Kiwi Farms lately?
Haluan tulla kasvatetuksi ja saada sen Kiwi Farms-maailman näh- (word cuts off)
I want to be grown and get it (seen?) by Kiwi Farms world

Out location was found
Pane minua perseeseen, isä
Fuck me in the ass, father

They crossreferenced Chris's room's door knob
Lonkkani liikkuvat itsestään, Chris, kovempaa
My hips are moving on their own, Chris, harder

You botched covering up the car, the hubcabs matched too
Olen tulossa, pomo, se tuntuu niin hyvältä
I'm coming, boss, it feels so good

Boss, take a look at the Kiwi Farms again
Lisää, mutta minä tulin jo
More, but I came already

It's your lucky day, get to harvesting
Niin usein kuin linnut twiittaavat¹, minä puhallan² ihanaa³ sydämeni suloista³ kyrpää
As often as birds (send a) Tweet, I blow on sweet my heart cute dick

Notes:
¹ lol. What you wanted was "sirkuttavat," "piipittävät" or even "laulavat."
² "Puhallan" = "I expel air." Finns don't "blow" dick.
³ "Ihanaa" and "suloista" are synonyms for (something) sweet, lovely, adorable, etc.

Source: Suomi Finland perkele.

 

[Strangolapreti]

Something that may have been left unnoticed by many christorians, but I discovered what is probably a fake Chris chan e621 account.

https://e621.net/users/1705552

May be a fake, but be sure to archive it before it's too late.

 

[Karen]

I don't know if this has been mentioned before, but Charlotte-Douglas Airport (CLT) is an airport that's more often than not used as a connection point for other airports. So it's very unlikely (but not impossible) that Flutter is from the Carolinas. Now if she was arriving from somewhere like CHS or RDU, then it would be more likely.

Also of note is that CLT has direct connect flights from Helsinki (HEL).

 

[A.P. Hill]

Fentanyl? Really?

Caden is an entrepreneurial little manlet who got snitched out by a maintenance guy for growing shrooms (which are natural), he's not Tony Fucking Montana.

I know Chris is boring as fuck now (as he has been for over a decade) but sheesh, you guys get really off topic.

Caden's "entrepreneurial" claims consist of taking advantage of a retard, getting busted for a small-scale growop because he never once considered that growing mushrooms in a rented apartment that maintenance men can enter is a bad idea, and pimping out his Z-list Belle Delphine wannabe classmate on OF, while she didn't have sex with him.

All his "businesses" that are not CWC seem to have failed miserably. I can't imagine he was making tons of money off Anni because there are a million other e-whores that look just like her. Ironically, she probably would have done better without the dyed hair and e-whore outfits...I thought she was actually pretty cute before she started cosplaying as Belle. Zoomer coom brainrot is terrifying.

 

[A Grey Cat]

Something that may have been left unnoticed by many christorians, but I discovered what is probably a fake Chris chan e621 account.

https://e621.net/users/1705552

May be a fake, but be sure to archive it before it's too late.

It had yo be fake most of the comments the fake Chris left are things Chris hasn't said or opinions he hasn't had for YEARS. Fucker could he bothered to brush up on modern Chris beyond the Jesus delusions

 

[King Kiwi]

Caden is a mastermind of cunning, deception and disguise. An enterprising young mogul, lady's man and an absolute Chad.

Also, I'm a llama. Bahhh.

 

[Hopkinsville Goblin]

I just checked Chris's Duolingo account. As of January 4, 2024, Chris has 38058 XP in Finnish and a 79 day streak. That sounds pretty impressive for someone as lazy as Chris.

How much time would one have to spend on Duolingo to get that much XP?

 

[Zeus Blue Thunder]

I just checked Chris's Duolingo account. As of January 4, 2024, Chris has 38058 XP in Finnish and a 79 day streak. That sounds pretty impressive for someone as lazy as Chris.

How much time would one have to spend on Duolingo to get that much XP?

Keep in mind that recently, many of his days he has earned zero points and keeps it up only because of the streak keepers.
As for how he has this many points, he has Duolingo Plus. If you check his trophies, you will see that he has only like 80 lessons aced. He brute forces it.

I would say this is because of Flutter because he started learning it after Flutter left him for two months. However, the restaurant guy says Flutter had no accent so...

Something that may have been left unnoticed by many christorians, but I discovered what is probably a fake Chris chan e621 account.

https://e621.net/users/1705552

May be a fake, but be sure to archive it before it's too late.

It's a fake. Has been confirmed many times. Def an unfunny ween.

 

[Bearmumrik]

Chris Chan and his sweetheart sighted in Cary NC. Again, no face reveal.

Edit: Apparently Chris was buying tickets for a convention called Animate.

https://www.reddit.com/r/ChrisChanSonichu/comments/18yqgb5/chris_chan_sighting_in_cary_nc_with_young_girl/

So Chris, and maybe Flutter, are going to the Animate convention in Raleigh NC this weekend

 

[Honey Pie]

Appearantly Chris was buying tickets for a convention called Animate.

This should be fun.