Megathread The Pooner Zoo - A thread for collecting wild Pooners and posting OC Pooners, and anything Pooner related

[Mad_Dog]

sorry I’m mobilefagging right now but guys look at this 10 minute video of a poner defending cannibalism.


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Spoiler: tbh

I honestly turned it off after five seconds but I found the pedo stache and the girly 2000s top hilarious and thought you people might, too

This deformed female confidently rambles about a bunch of stuff she found online, but doesn't understand in the slightest, and tries to come to an edgy conclusion.
Unfortunately for her, all I heard was the chattering buzz of an ideologically possessed pooner.

 

[pink cigarettes]

What does a brave and true dude bro do when faced with (Grrr!) MISGENDERING?!

Got no idea, but if it’s a pooner, the correct answer is of course: Looks down, runs away, finds a manly subreddit for support:

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The "I pass X% of the time" stuff always sends me. Either you're assumed to be a man/woman at a glance by the general public, or you aren't. If people are looking at you trying to figure it out, then you don't "pass." (Pro-tip: you don't pass lmao, none of you do)

Did the pooner tarot cards ever materialize into anything? Cause that shit is amazing and I'd definitely love it to put next to my serial killer playing cards deck.
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Having a deck of cards actually made and cut is such an enormous pain in the ass that it's something only Dear Leader might be insane enough to embark upon- one can hope!

This deformed female confidently rambles about a bunch of stuff she found online, but doesn't understand in the slightest, and tries to come to an edgy conclusion.
Unfortunately for her, all I heard was the chattering buzz of an ideologically possessed pooner.

Emphasis on "possessed"

 

[everybody in Portugal]

Cool, now do FGM and suttee.

My dude, you're in the pooner thread... FGM already is a strong possibility in this lady's future

 

[Sangria Nigger]

About Spanish names: Hispanic pooners tend to use names such as Mateo, Diego, Julián, or just borrow english names such as Zach, Richard, Michael or Vincent/Vinny (although we already have their spanish equivalents: Ricardo, Miguel and Vicente). They're fucking copycats of american pooners.

I've personally met 4 Spanish poneers named:
-Martin 26, pooned out at 20. It's a traditional name from my region that was somewhat popular for boys her age group .
-Martin, 31, also the Spanish version. Pooned out when her ultra catholic dad said fuck you all lol and came out as gay. She was on her twenties.
-Jaden, 13, pooned out at 12. Apparently everyone spells it wrong as Jaiden. I feel very sorry for her, she's clearly traumatized/BPD or both. Had her 2nd suicide attempt two weeks ago.
-Finn, 13, pooned out at 11/12. Her parents do not support her lunacy so at least she has that running for her. Finn, by the way, it's not a name here. It sounds ridiculous, it's pronounced ah "the end" in Spanish.

 

[PipTheAlchemist]

Finn, by the way, it's not a name here. It sounds ridiculous, it's pronounced ah "the end" in Spanish.

Likely intentional, knowing the fate of most trannies (they commit the suicide)

 

[pork and beans]

Demasiadas cromosomas/Un putero de cromosomas

demasiados* since the noun is masculine (unlike pooners)

Personally all the Spanish pooners ive met are called Adrián or non Spanish names like Markus (Instead of Marcos… why?), Jay or Theo LOL.

 

[AGP]

-Jaden, 13, pooned out at 12. Apparently everyone spells it wrong as Jaiden. I feel very sorry for her, she's clearly traumatized/BPD or both. Had her 2nd suicide attempt two weeks ago.
-Finn, 13, pooned out at 11/12. Her parents do not support her lunacy so at least she has that running for her. Finn, by the way, it's not a name here. It sounds ridiculous, it's pronounced ah "the end" in Spanish.

Pooned out at 12? jfc do they get all that shit from tiktok or something?

Personally all the Spanish pooners ive met are called Adrián or non Spanish names like Markus (Instead of Marcos… why?), Jay or Theo LOL.

Spanish pooners tend to be just as or more deranged than american pooners tbh

 

[Sangria Nigger]

Pooned out at 12? jfc do they get all that shit from tiktok or something?

The elder ones were BPD energy canalized into porn. Both were active in the BDSM scene.

The youngest one, I think it's from being terminally online. They live isolated back in la aldea.

 

[Snuckening2]

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Very masc! Very butch!

She made an “guess my gender post” as you can see, and the answers are a real trip.

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Mhmm… Very male! Basically looks like “he” escaped from a Kpop group!

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“Masc leaning” lol!
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Yeah! Totally ambiguous and stuff!

Anyways… HAPPY NEW YEARS FELLOW POONER FANS!!

See ya next year

So glad that the hateful, bigotted concept of "a girl with short hair" has been erased from existance.

 

[Metal Slime 20x6]

Why? Attend and constantly accidentally misgender her.

Extra points if she whines at Reddit and one of us finds it!

Ehhh I take other classes there occasionally and I don’t want to burn bridges with the rest of the staff.

 

[Nanashi no kiwi]

My dude, you're in the pooner thread... FGM already is a strong possibility in this lady's future

Sorry, I meant the pooner should do videos explaining why it's actually cultural imperialism/colonialism if you think it's bad to cut off little girls' clitorises with razor blades or burn widows on their husbands' funeral pyres (some relativism-poisoned weirdo out there has surely claimed as much already).

She should unironically consider committing sati with a dakimakura of her hazubando, though.

-Jaden, 13, pooned out at 12. Apparently everyone spells it wrong as Jaiden.

I'm lolling a bit imagining people pronouncing it Spanish-style as /'xai.ðen/.

Spanish pooners tend to be just as or more deranged than american pooners tbh

Something something spicy chicxs latinxs.

 

[Sparkling Yuzu]

Especially as they were attempting to 'eradicate the cultural practice' of cannibalism in Papua New Guinea because they were getting infected with Kuru, a horrifying transmissible spongiform encephalopathy similar to Creutzfeldt-Jakob disease. Because of those 'Evil Colonisers' the last incidence of Kuru in Papua New Guinea was in 2009 and this was only because of the incredibly long incubation period. There have been no cases since and scientists are hopeful that the disease has been eradicated in Papua New Guinea.

There were benefits to it too. They think the survivors had a naturally high resilience to neurodegenerative diseases. There might be virtually no dementia among these populations if we had just let them be. The problem is that virtually every Western defender has a vore fetish or terminal contrarianism. Thinking funerary cannibalism in indigenous tribes shouldn't have been eradicated doesn't mean it should be legal for an Alice to eat his pooner for vorefag coomer reasons.

 

[Nanashi no kiwi]

All this talk of Spanish pooners gave me an idea. Sorry in advance for my shitty MS Paint artwork and non-existent drawing skills.


"And now, ladies and gentlemen, my little friend Jaden has a special trick they would like to--"
"IS HE!"
"What's that, Jaden?"
"MY PRONOUNS ARE HE/HIS!"
"But Jaden, just yesterday you tell me you are 'non-binary' and I must call you 'they'!"
"THAT WAS YESTERDAY! TODAY I AM HE! ¡SOY CHICO DE VERDAD!"
"I'm sorry, Jaden, I call you 'he' now. S'okay?"
"S'OKAY."
"S'alright?"
"S'ALRIGHT."

 

[Iron Jaguar]

Not sure if she's still in the LARPing phase, right on the cusp of fully Pooning Out.
4'10”. Pudgy. The wallet chain lets you know she's a Real Boy



Yes, little Dood, that Iron Maiden shirt makes you look so, so heckin' manly. Especially the way you tucked it into your denim shorts, accentuating your ample, curvy hips. Just the way a man would.
BTW, please name three Iron Maiden songs?

 

[Constellationzero]

BTW, please name three Iron Maiden songs?

The Loneliness of the Long Distance Pooner
Pooner in a Strange Bathroom
Be Quick or Be Dood

 

[Peaches the Wonder Cat]

https://ghostarchive.org/archive/Y8XNS

She doesn't pass. At best she looks like a nerd that even the nerds would punch out in high school.

But then there is her posting history, and oh boy:

"How do I make tranny porn?"

https://archive.ph/SQMuS

Spoiler: Text

How can I get started doing porn as a trans man? (self.asktransgender)

submitted 10 months ago by jorbhorb

I'm a trans guy in my late 20s in the PNW, and I really fucking need money. I have been considering doing porn for years, but was put off by both the self-marketing aspect of OF and by the fact that I'm not the thinnest. I'm in a place right now where I feel more comfortable with my body the shape that it is, and want to start working with a studio as an actor. All the info I can find is about straight cis people, and that's not very helpful! How can I get started as someone who fills a very specific niche? Thank you <3

Was on testosterone, then the baby desire hit, so she stopped taking it to get pregnant, with another pooner partner who wasn't all that involved in her life. And yes, she ended up having a daughter...

https://archive.ph/dnwbi

Spoiler: Text

Rant: Non-Affectionate Partner self.queerception

submitted 3 years ago * by jorbhorb

I [25 ftm] been trying to conceive through IUI since August, but the process to get off of testosterone and set everything up has been going on since December 2019. It's been a long, arduous, and expensive process, and I'm still not pregnant.

I and my future coparent [23 ftm] aren't in a relationship, but we're very close friends and have been living together for upwards of 5 years now. I'm a very emotional and affectionate person, but he's deeply uncomfortable with physical touch and outward displays of emotion. This didn't cause any problems in our friendship, so I didnt think it would be a problem when we first started out TTC.

Now that IUI has failed over and over again, on top of me being an essential worker, it has become a much bigger deal. I'm exhausted, I'm frustrated, I'm heartbroken every time I get the negative pregnancy test, and all I really need is a hug and a good cry. He can't give me the emotional support I need and it's getting harder and harder every day. I don't even think he notices how much I'm struggling. I can't even complain about how damn expensive it is to pay for this all myself without a comment from him about how it'll be even crazier when the baby actually shows up.

This is my one chance to have a baby, once I'm back on testosterone again I will not be stopping it again. It's miserable being off of it. I don't really have the option of waiting until the world stops being terrible or trying to find someone else. It's this, and him, and now, or I don't get to start a family.

I guess I'm just trying to find anyone at all who understands what I'm going through. Please, if you have any advice about dealing with a distant partner, let me know. I'm desperate for any hope that it'll be okay. Thank you
EDIT: Ah, fuck.

... a daughter she is already trying to poon out.

https://ghostarchive.org/archive/gcT6C

Spoiler: Text

How important is gender when raising a toddler? (self.ScienceBasedParenting)

submitted 8 months ago * by jorbhorb

This might be a silly question, but I don't really have any other new parents in my life to ask. Is it important for me to dress my daughter (19 mo) in feminine clothes? Most of the clothes I have for her are donated, and I realized I don't have any dresses or bows or pink things for her to wear. She has some clothes that are a little girly, but everything is pretty muted in color. Should I be putting more emphasis on femininity?
EDIT: I also don't typically have like baby dolls for her? It's not something I think about and actively avoid but most of her toys are like animals or educational.

And before she had the kid, she had dreams of harming herself and others.

https://ghostarchive.org/archive/EC2fV

Spoiler: Text

I think I'm dreaming self.bipolar

Submitted 3 years ago by jorbhorb

I'm rapid cycle type II and haven't had a psychotic episode before but I think I might be having one. I'm usually a really introspective person who can tell when thoughts are from anxiety or depression or mania, but right now it's hard to convince myself that I am not in fact dreaming.

Everything going on in the world, everything going to shit at the same time... It cannot possibly be real. It has to be just a bad dream, my faith in people being inherently good cannot be shaken so deeply to the very core of who I am... Right? I just have to wake up. It feels different than the suicidal thoughts I've had before, this one doesn't come with the risk of hurting everyone I love, because it's not real. My friends will be fine, because this isn't actually happening. I'll just be waking up from an especially detailed nightmare.

I'm not going to do anything because I'm keeping myself too high to drive, and even in this state I'm not gonna put other people at risk. It's just a thought I can't get out of my head enough to sleep or to think or to breathe.

and, of course, she's borderline/cluster B:

https://ghostarchive.org/archive/w3zbP

Spoiler: Text

How do y'all cope with restlessness? (self.BPD)

submitted 6 years ago by jorbhorb

I know something kind of common with BPD folx is to feel restless in your current situation, to always be looking for a way out or any way to escape. Has anyone found a way to deal with that need for an impossible freedom?

She'll show up on the news at some point, but KF found her first.

 

[Iron Jaguar]

once I'm back on testosterone again I will not be stopping it again. It's miserable being off of it.

I'm pretty sure you're miserable no matter what.

 

[Nanashi no kiwi]

<snip>

Jeeeesus, what a train wreck. That poor kid.

Is that the top of a cane in her right hand in the first pic? Because being a chronic illness munchie would be very on-brand.


Also, someone should tell her the FTM-in-porn niche is rapidly becoming oversaturated.

Also also:

I and my future coparent [23 ftm] aren't in a relationship, but we're very close friends and have been living together for upwards of 5 years now.

She was planning on coparenting with someone she wasn't even romantically involved with? How the hell was that going to work?

Also x3:

I'm heartbroken every time I get the negative pregnancy test, and all I really need is a hug and a good cry.

...very manly response, king. #justdoodthings

 

[Fapcop]

Not sure if she's still in the LARPing phase, right on the cusp of fully Pooning Out.
4'10”. Pudgy. The wallet chain lets you know she's a Real Boy
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Yes, little Dood, that Iron Maiden shirt makes you look so, so heckin' manly. Especially the way you tucked it into your denim shorts, accentuating your ample, curvy hips. Just the way a man would.
BTW, please name three Iron Maiden songs?

Lol! Even if you out that head on an actual man’s body, she’d still get gendered as a woman 90 of the time. She just has those extremely feminine facial features. Pune beard it not.

 

[clipartfan92]

Is that the top of a cane in her right hand in the first pic?

It is definitely a cane. She's putting some of her body weight on it. That pose is 100% manly, she should keep those up because it definitely helps her pass.