Trainwreck Alex Dacy / Alex Dzimtowicz / Wheelchair Rapunzel - 50% wholesome disability influencer, 50% that cash me outside girl

[Sparkling Yuzu]

. . . featuring this video of her waterboarding Ari;

Yeah just throw water on her high chair that you don't have to clean up.

 

[Friend of Dorothy Parker]

I think this move is going to be one of two things:
1. Alex moving out on her own with a new caregiver. Visits from Noah and Ari.
2. Alex, Noah and Ari moving with no caregiver to return to the situation they had in Chicago - Noah as sole caregiver to two. Ari and Noah lose the support of the grandparents which has seen Ari thrive and become so happy.
Noah doesn't seem to be in the best position right now to pursue option 2, but I fear that's what Alex has pushed for.

But she said everything as I/my: "my" new place, "my" own space, "my" things out of storage. Maybe that's just her usual self-centeredness (forgetting anyone but "me" - and to be fair she mentioned a room for Ari, even with the I/me excessive ess), but it read a bit defiantly I/me, almost as if she were making a point. Idk, we'll see.

And as for Noah suing for custody, even with the grandparents, a struggling drug addict with severe mental health issues selling his wares on OF and no other job (or work history, afaik) is going to have a hard time convincing a court that he should have an infant/child full time...and if Alex has adequate (whatever that is deemed to be, in her case) care for the child, then it is an even steeper climb.

Noah's family seem to have some money and some normalcy, so I would guess they (one or more

- have met with lawyers and understand the legal likelihoods here
- do not want to take on raising another child from infancy, if they can help it
- have a read on Alex and are just hoping this can work on a consensual basis
- have crossed all fingers and toes and hope that their idiot son grows up and into responsibility one day
- just want this screeching drunk out of their home.

 

[Robert California]

I was actually going to say maybe there’s a large shed or something on the property they’re letting her call home.

Shed Princess arc incoming

 

[often puzzled]

Shed Princess arc incoming

Alex could never.

What I wouldn't give for one last FUCK YOU GRANDMA.

 

[Sparkling Yuzu]

Alex could never live in a Canadian shed in winter. She would immediately die.

 

[The Judean People's Front]

Alex could never.

What I wouldn't give for one last FUCK YOU GRANDMA.

Alex could never live in a Canadian shed in winter. She would immediately die.

I need some new cows - pardon my ignorance, but who we talkin' 'bout?

 

[often puzzled]

I need some new cows - pardon my ignorance, but who we talkin' 'bout?

Julie Terryberry, the late, great Shed Princess. Her thread is a must-read, and she's one of the deaths we're supposedly responsible for.*

* we are very much not responsible. It won't take long at all to see that she was very, very troubled.

 

[Flourishing Pinecone ❧]

I can understand wanting some independence when you have lived a whole life reliant on others, but damn. There are so many new parents out there that would love to have her set up, with in house grandparents to help out.

The Smiths probably laid down some house rules that Alex didn't want to abide by, so has decided to cut off her nose to spite her face.

 

[Barbarella]

Julaayyy!!!

I could see her trying to get her caretaker to take care of Ari, but I don't think the caretaker would want to, and might indeed be legally prohibited from doing so.

Unfortunately, in the US at least, you can hire anybody to care for your kid, drive them around, etc.; they don’t need to be licensed Nannys or anything. So not illegal but I could see somebody stepping away with a hell nah if a fight started. We know Alex doesn’t hire professionals, she hires drinking buddies.

I’m hoping this is all just a futuristic fantasy of Alex’s and they aren’t going anywhere. Engagement farming would be the best possible outcome for Ari.

 

[Free the Pedos]

Julaayyy!!!


Unfortunately, in the US at least, you can hire anybody to care for your kid, drive them around, etc.; they don’t need to be licensed Nannys or anything. So not illegal but I could see somebody stepping away with a hell nah if a fight started. We know Alex doesn’t hire professionals, she hires drinking buddies.

I’m hoping this is all just a futuristic fantasy of Alex’s and they aren’t going anywhere. Engagement farming would be the best possible outcome for Ari.

I assume Alex pays for her caregiver with disability. She doesn’t have the money to go out of pocket for child care. Sure, she could hire someone who says they’ll care for her and Ari for one price, but that person would have to be the bottom of the barrel meth addict, and unfortunately personal care jobs are already magnets for the dregs of society so I don’t see that setup lasting long. That person will endanger Ari or just dip and she’ll be back where she started.

 

[CashMoney!]

The courts would probably hand custody over to the grandparents given the train wreck of Noah and Alex. In the very least, Noah would be given custody that's conditional with presence of his parents etc, and Alex would honestly not get a lot because she has no way to actually care for Ari alone or with the help of a caregiver if things blow up. There's just no way lol. You can pity Alex without endangering a baby. Noah isn't great but even he is better than Alex in the sole custody scenario.

 

[often puzzled]

Alex turned 30 today and made a big deal of it. I'm not going to share a fraction of the selfies she's posted. Still no solid info about the new place.

Spoiler: misc story stuff

The comments on the waterboarding video got so out of hand that she had to turn them off entirely. People were not impressed with this latest disabled mom hack:

Spoiler: birthday stories

There were a ton more selfies.





hashtag mom life

Birthday grid post 1:



Birthday grid post 2:

Spoiler: video: Ari is about to start walking

I thought this was going to be a video of how well Ari gets around, but the pan revealed that it's actually just her showing off her birthday decorations:

Spoiler: video: makeup brush review (can see range of motion for her hand)

Spoiler: video: angling for Hello Fresh sponsorship

"I want to cook, so please pay me to do so."

Spoiler: video: cranky Ari gives Alex a LOOK

TikTok talking about her upcoming move:

Here's the most interesting TikTok. Someone asks if Noah will be moving with her, and she gives a non-answer. They're in a "situationship," it's complicated, she doesn't know if he's moving with her? I'm not entirely sure what she's trying to say.

 

[Flourishing Pinecone ❧]

I feel reassured that it appears that Noah won't be moving with her, because that means Ari would have to be living at the Smith's place for most of the time and just going on visits to Alex's new place.

 

[Pudgy Bear Claws]

I feel reassured that it appears that Noah won't be moving with her, because that means Ari would have to be living at the Smith's place for most of the time and just going on visits to Alex's new place.

I really hope so. I hope his parents are in his ear and they're going to let Alex fail at taking care of herself, fail to be able to provide a safe home for Ari and then they'll (Noah living at home with his parents) step in and take physical custody of the bub. I feel sorry that anyone has such a horrible disease and that Alex has lost so much of her personhood to it but she chose to get pregnant and she depends on everyone else to handle the hard shit. Maybe it's time for her to get clobbered in the head with the fact that she's not able to take care of another human.

I did lmao at her being excited to cook. Yeah, like how? She can barely reach her face with that makeup brush, how does she think she's going to use a knife?

 

[athousandrustynails]

A situationship is such a great place to be with the father of your child.

She's delusional on so many levels about so many things.

 

[The Judean People's Front]

I am increasingly of the opinion that Alex has run up against the Smith family rules and has been asked to get her shit together or leave. Rather than apologize, speak respectfully to Mrs. Smith, and stop getting blackout drunk in their garage, she's announced that she's moving out and that she's taking Ari. I think there's been a lack of detail because there are no details at this point. And she doesn't know if Noah is coming with her because he's probably on the fence about whether he should stay put with family and try to fight for Ari or go with her; I wouldn't put it past her to tell him that if he doesn't come with her then she's going to keep Ari from him.

I hope I'm wrong. I hope this is all creative writing fiction and Ari is gonna stay with the people with working arms, but it smacks of Cluster B manipulation to me.

ETA: also, I agree there's no way she could physically grab the kid and go. Guessing The Smiths are indulging her delusion bc they know it won't pan out and she's just throwing a snooty lil tantrum.

Second edit: I was just thinking about her lil pantsless toodle around that shopping center. Total speculation here, but what if, as part of this whole "I'm moving out on my own, screw you Mom and Dad!" Saga the Smiths were like "Ok awesome. You're moving out on your own? Glad you've got this figured out. We're going to church. Enjoy getting yourself ready this morning!" And left? Or maybe Alex asked them to get her dressed to go talk to someone about moving out and they were like "lol if you're so independent then do it yourself" and she defiantly just left in her dirty bra? Like an angry teenager? Sorry again total speculation but that just clicked for me as a possible tie-in for the Pooh-bear zoomies.

 

[often puzzled]

Alex celebrated her birthday by stuffing Ari in her birthday sash. She shared this evening that she'll be moving tomorrow (Friday, February 2, 2024).

Baby in cheap sash. You really get a sense of how tiny Alex is in this photo.

Spoiler: more birthday

Ari looks like she wants to escape.

Spoiler: more story stuff

"me me me me me"



bullshit, Alex.

"I officially move into my new place tomorrow and let me tell you, it has been a shit show, trying to get everything together lol. I'm very much a 'wing it' girlie with certain things. Probably the wrong things lol."

(apologies for any transcription errors; her writing is so bad that it's hard to transcribe as it's written.)



Birthday video, featuring her bare rump:

Something actually heartwarming:

 

[Sparkling Yuzu]

Birthday video, featuring her bare rump:

If they can put a shirt on her they can put shorts, an oversized t-shirt, a skirt...

 

[Mitt Doggy Dogg]

Julie Terryberry, the late, great Shed Princess. Her thread is a must-read, and she's one of the deaths we're supposedly responsible for.*

* we are very much not responsible. It won't take long at all to see that she was very, very troubled.

The great Terryberry she was like our first body count, If you haven't read her thread it is a must read. Nonstop lulz

She looks like a house gnome or forrest elf or something, will someone give it a sock so she will be free

 

[Stroppy Trollop]

Tucking your baby into your Dirty 30s birthday sash is a whole new level of tacky and that lackluster version of Happy Birthday was kinda sad.
BUT! TOMORROW IS MOVING DAY! Bring on the shit show!