Nicholas Robert Rekieta / Rekieta "Law" / Actually Criminal / @NickRekieta - Polysubstance enthusiast, "Lawtuber" turned Dabbleverse streamer, swinger, "whitebread ass nigga", snuffs animals for fun, visits 🇯🇲 BBC resorts. Legally a cuckold who lost his license to practice law. Wife's bod worth $50. The normies even know.

  • 🐕 I am attempting to get the site runnning as fast as possible. If you are experiencing slow page load times, please report it.

What would the outcome of the harassment restraining order be?

  • A WIN for the Toe against Patrick Melton.

    Votes: 64 20.1%
  • A WIN for the Toe against Nicholas Rekieta.

    Votes: 4 1.3%
  • A MAJOR WIN for the Toe, it's upheld against both of them.

    Votes: 86 27.0%
  • Huge L, felted, cooked etc, it gets thrown out.

    Votes: 52 16.3%
  • A win for the lawyers (and Kiwi Farms) because it gets postponed again.

    Votes: 113 35.4%

  • Total voters
    319
He’s even doing a Eugenia Cooney by showing off his skelly body for his fans in his itty bitty vest, so they can see his little spindly arms.
The wife-beater shirts are a great addition to his content, so he can look even more like Ron Soye than before.
is it normal for alcoholics to lose weight like this?
the two heavy drinkers i've known IRL were the opposite of skinny, they were overweight with huge round beer guts.
but they were beer drinkers, not liquor drinkers like nick, so maybe that's what makes the difference
Nick seems to be a really extreme example. I've seen a couple whisky skellies before, but they weren't eating because of lack of appetite. Nick claims to be doing it on purpose. Maybe he's just lying to cover the whisky skelly lack of appetite. Possibly he's literally just drinking so much he has no appetite and is calling it a "diet."
 
Seems our butty is getting a lot of attention lately. He's going to be so happy. I can't wait to see how unhinged he is whenever he streams next.
I didn't say it was a GOOD plan.
It's not a plan. It's just stupid. It would prejudice the jury against Nick and be a win for Montagraph. He has competent council handling his legal defense.
Anyway I had fun, took 30 hours to learn how to use Gimp (which SUCKS) for this low effort Sneed meme. Enjoy.
Can sympathize. Having no editing skills sucks.
He needs an intervention. The sad thing is, I don't know if he's gonna get it. Especially if his dwindling audience is gonna keep just saying "Nah, Nick's fiiiiinnnnne."
Scum like Cgoody will noseguard him to the last.
I hope she divorces him, kicks him out of the house, and he ends up in some Lowtax hovel with his shitty paintings behind him still, never to be hung up, before blowing his brains out.
Nah. Would be a lot funnier if he moved to Mexico and became Ralph's roomie. The two of them could rebrand and launch a new show.
Nick did a LOCALS last night:
Did you, Elissa, i can cook and still life enjoy it? I can't imagine he has many members left.
Chat asked what Nick did to @elb to make her angry.
I can think of a reason.
Nick addressed 'Sober January' and claimed he did not drink on stream
How lawyerly.
We’re rapidly approaching the point where a call to CPS isn’t a despicable kind of Alogging, but actually an ethical obligation.
No we aren't. No touchy touchy.
In terms of his audience, over the past couple months it seems he's lost just about everybody.
He still has Cgoody. Anyone seen Ryan The Editor around?
I went ahead and transcribed it because I find great joy in sourcing text rather than video:
A cat isn't going to fight off a raccoon. Raccoons are bigger and stronger. In nature cat kind and raccoon kind generally have a non-aggression pact.
 
A cat isn't going to fight off a raccoon. Raccoons are bigger and stronger. In nature cat kind and raccoon kind generally have a non-aggression pact.
A raccoon can fuck up even a mid-sized dog. Even as a human I would rather just leave a raccoon alone. I have no idea if this Nick reddit-tier story is true, but if so, dude murders skunks, one of the most harmless animals around, for no reason at all, and raccoons. What an absolute dick if he did any of this.
It's pretty normal. Alchoholics don't really eat much after they've been drinking for a while. It's pretty common for advanced alchoholics to be skinny and haggard. Even beer drinkers.
I've known one beer skelly too. Moderate beer consumption is actually reasonably healthy. Unlike most forms of alcohol it even contains a nice collection of B vitamins that counteract some of the negative effects of alcohol. There's a reason early civilization involved beer, partly because the water wasn't potable. But this wasn't a normal consumer. It was over a case of beer a day consumption and the usual alcoholic no food shit.
 
Thanks Elissa,


Holy shit! what a breath of beautiful fresh air this is without PPP's fat rolls leaving a musky cheesy funk in the room. Can we just get Warski and Jim please?
Jim’s take on Dear John is surprisingly soft. Claiming that Nick was just trying to express betrayal but he came across as more vindictive than intended.

Also yeah the Andy and Jim vibe is great. He seems to be fond of him like he used to be over Ralph.
 
I still have the last bingo card to get out, but it's hard to come up with something authentically amusing when every single update of recent makes me physically cringe.
The angel Rekieta and the Demon Rekieta:
- Snuffs another innocent critter
- Saves a critter from an adverse situation (lol)
- Doxes more current/former fans
- Helps a current fan
- Free space: looks at ceiling cats
- Admits that drinking is an issue
- Doubles on the booze
- etc

This card will never be completed.
 
I still have the last bingo card to get out, but it's hard to come up with something authentically amusing when every single update of recent makes me physically cringe.
There are getting to be so many things that without limiting it to the most common ones it would be hard to fill a card. I mean you could put on wife-beater shirts and shitty tattoos but he's probably just going to do something even more cringy next. Like who could predict staring insanely at nonexistent things?
 
He makes Freddie Mercury look straight.
At this rate he's gonna need to cake himself in makeup like Freddie before streams. 3703E505-5B99-4206-830E-AF50B53B241B.jpeg
 
Ethan Ralph opened his show yesterday by cutting an eight minute promo on Andrew/Legal Mindset giving Rekieta an F:

Ralph tells Legal Mindset that REKIETA MADE YEW, BISH! and that he would like to see Rekieta "slap the shit out of" Legal Mindset. Ralph thinks Rekieta would, but if not, Ralph definitely would.

Ralph mocks Legal Mindset for claiming that Rekieta didn't even bother to read the complaint before trashing the lawsuit. "Yeah, for a bullshit lawsuit that's going nowhere? Fuck you. shyster piece of shit. Trying to dunk on a guy who made your fucking career who you'd be nothing without?"

Legal Mindset has no reason to turn on Rekieta. Ralph had a good reason, way better than the small reason that people said, but it was still a mistake because Nick is a good guy.

Ralph says that Legal Mindset is "fucking scum" who is trying to curry favor with Kiwi Farms.

View attachment 5724711
No he is trying to curry favor with vtubers and that's even gayer fuck this nigga ralphamale dub
 
Jim’s take on Dear John is surprisingly soft. Claiming that Nick was just trying to express betrayal but he came across as more vindictive than intended.
You know, I would've agreed about this initially, but based on the comments Nick has made these past few days since the rant, and especially the Twitter exchange that was posted earlier, I actually think Jim is right -- Nick is so fucking gone that he thinks he's the good guy in this story, and can't see why everyone else doesn't agree.
 
View attachment 5753731

By God, there is no possibility for a man to look more homosexual than this. What is even this face. Disgrace
On a somewhat lighter note, let's give up for @AltisticRight's artistic talent. He added the snake.

View attachment 5753942
prido.jpgprido2.jpg

Also, apparently the website for The Balldo(R) has an FAQ page.
This device is Satanic.

How does it work?​

When fitted to a man’s scrotum, it will allow him to use his balls to penetrate his partner and release a totally new type of sexual experience and pleasure for both. The Balldo™ encapsulates the balls and ‘presents’ them in a specially designed cage that allows them to be inserted and then thrusted into a vagina or anus.

Effectively your balls become a second penis, with their own unique feeling of stimulation for both the wearer and the recipient.

The cage is very soft on the outside but internally is fitted with a strong inner core which ensures that the tip and side legs stay rigid enough to easily penetrate an orifice.

What are the Spacer Rings for?​

The Balldo™ also ships with two ‘spacer rings’ – these are pulled over the Balldo™ and sit between its base and your abdomen. Their purpose is to take up the slack in your scrotal skin and extend the Balldo™ and balls away from your body to make it rigid against your abdomen and make penetration effective. With both rings fitted the Balldo™ is 7 inches long – the same as the average penis.
You might need more or less spacer rings depending on how loose the skin is at the top of your balls.

Will Balldo fit my balls?​

According to published research data the average size of an individual 'ball' - (that is the hard bit inside your soft scrotal sack) is 4-5.1cm long x 3cm high x 2cm wide. The Balldo is designed for balls of this size give or take 1 cm in all dimensions. There are many additional factors that affect size such as the amount of loose skin in the scrotal sack and the amount of fluid in the sack. In general the balldo fits most guys - if you know you have exceptionally large balls then you may wish to reconsider purchasing. Again take a look at the training videos on ballgasm.com to compare your balls to the models.

Are there different sizes of balldo?​

No - the reason being that if we made the balldo larger for guys with extra large balls the the partners hole would also need to be extra large - this would make the product very niche.

What is a Ballgasm? :story: Good lord...​

For the wearer – once inside, thrusting comes instinctively and bizarrely feels like normal sex. However, the sensation is very deep and unusual because your balls are inside someone and you are actually penetrating with them.

This sensation can trigger what we at Nadgerz Inc have termed a 'Ballgasm'.

Ballgasms are slow building, long lasting and earth shattering as the body and mind doesn’t actually know where the trigger is coming from. We cannot promise that you will attain a Ballgasm as everyones stimulation points and levels of arousal are different. However we have had Ballgasms reported in the major media - such as in Cosmopolitan and Girly Juice (see reviews on our homepage)

For the partner – the Balldo™ is naturally nice, thick and filling, its 2 inches in diameter so will be slightly bigger than most are used to. When the balls pass ‘the wall’ inside you there is that satisfying ‘plop’ feeling and the balls can clearly be felt locking into the anus or vagina - kind of like a butt plug.

The excitement of having a man’s balls in your anus or vagina adds the extra level of arousal leading to unusual orgasms. For women, when in the missionary position with legs back by head, the Balldo™ sandwiches the clitoris against the base of the penis and the spacer rings, this intense rubbing can lead to rapid orgasms.

Can the Balldo be used if I suffer from ED (erectile dysfunction)?​

Every case of ED is different and of course you should contact your doctor first before using Balldo. That being said, Balldo™ can be used to penetrate a partner regardless of the state of the penis. It can also provide 'feeling' and stimulation for the wearer unlike a strap-on or splint which are commonly used in these cases.

What is the balldo made from?​

The Balldo™ is made from the highest grade of silicone which is 100% body safe material widely used in human prosthetics, medical devices and special effects make up. This material is tear resistant and very strong but at the same time, very soft and stretchy.

What type of lube should I use?​

As the Balldo™ is made from skin-safe silicone – remember to only use lube that is water based. Do not use silicone-based lube.

What do I need to do to prepare for ballsex?​

Step 1 - Manscaping

You heard it! Give your marbles a good close trim before you use balldo™. If you aren’t familiar with trimming your ball hair there are plenty of guides online.

Essentially you can carefully use a beard trimmer whilst stretching out your scrotal skin. Do not use a razor! Your target length should be as close as you can get – i.e., no more than ½ inch or 12mm.

Why shave? It will avoid any uncomfortable tugging or pulling of those long straggly pubes which can spoil the experience or make it painful to remove the Balldo™. Do your manscaping at least 24 hours before using Balldo™ to allow for any skin irritation to go away before using the toy.

Step 2 Lube them up!

Using a water based lube is essential for ease of sliding the balldo™ onto your sack. Apply a light covering all over your balls and also on the inside of balldo™.

You should also lube the spacer rings in readiness for fitting.

Step 3 - Fit the Balldo - Stretch and release

Now the tricky part. There is a knack to getting the balldo™ comfortably on the balls.

  1. It is best to perhaps sit on the edge of a toilet seat or bed or stand up.
  2. Make sure your balls are warm, we all know what happens to balls if they are cold!
  3. Once in position, you need to ‘fluff your balls’ a little to pull them down from the abdomen. To do this put your thumb and first finger around the top of your scrotum and gently tug them down a few times.
  4. Now with both hands hold your balldo™ under your ball and stretch its ring as wide open as you need to – don’t worry it won’t break if you stretch it hard.
  5. Bring it up over your balls, using your thumbs to push your balls inside the cage. It is often easier to push one ball in at a time.
  6. Make sure the ring sits at the base of your scrotum and that your ball sack is evenly split by the toy with one ball popping out of each side of the balldo™ chamber.
  7. Give a gentle sideways, outward pull to each ball’s skin to make sure they are in place and there is no stretched skin.

Step 4: Get your rings on

The balldo™ comes in a kit with two spacer rings that provide extra rigidity to your scrotum and to make the balls further away from the body. This makes it easier to insert it inside your partner’s vagina or anus and helps it stay in position.

The rings are always pulled on after fitting the Balldo™ first and must be stretched and pulled over the top of the already fitted balldo™ and then correctly seated behind it in-between its base and your abdomen.

  1. Apply lube to each ring if you haven’t already.
  2. With both hands, hold it under your balls, stretch it as much as you can (again don’t worry you won’t break it) and slide it over balldo™.
  3. The ring must sit above balldo™ and around the neck of your sack. For extra rigidity, apply the other ring.
  4. We sell additional spacer rings separately as some men may have quite loose balls sack skin.

How do I use the Balldo?​

Super Important Tips – READ FIRST!

The best positions for using the Balldo™ are with the wearer standing on the floor and their partner on their back on a couch, table or bed with their legs pulled back near their shoulders or up by the wearers shoulders and their lower body curled up so that the chosen hole is as close to the angle of the hanging Balldo™ as possible.

The wearer should then bear down on their partner who should assist them by pulling the Balldo™ into them by putting their fingers on each hand around the back of the spacer rings and pull it into them.

The wearer should be standing or kneeling at a height that makes it easy for entry. We strongly recommend that you try this position first and then experiment after.

How will we know when it's inside?​

With a satisfying plop!

Once in, the balldo™ will usually stay in - kind of like a butt plug and light thrusting can be done repeatedly without the balldo™ coming out.

Other positions to try after you get the above right are doggy and DP (double penetration either stacked or one in each hole) – experiment and enjoy!!!!

Another interesting use you might want to try is to wear your balldo™ when not having sex, it can pack out your paunch and give you a nice edging feeling during the day!

How do I remove the Balldo?​

Once you finish your sexual encounter, it is easy to remove the balldo™ and rings. Firstly, remove the balldo™ by stretching the silicone with both hands as you did to put it on. Next you can remove the spacer rings in the same manner.

WARNINGS​

  1. Before inserting a sex toy anywhere in your body make sure that it is absolutely clean to avoid the risk of infection. Wash your toy before and after use with an anti-bacterial sex toy cleaner that is suitable for use with Silicone toys, or warm water and mild castille soap like Dr Bronners
  • DO use a sex toy cleaner for extra peace of mind
  • DO leave your balldo to air dry thoroughly (laid on kitchen paper is ideal), or dry with a clean towel
  • DON’T put your balldo away before they are totally dry
  • DON’T put your balldo in the dishwasher or microwave
  • DON’T leave your balldo on a radiator or next to a heat source to dry
  1. If you have a predisposition to testicular torsion, Or if you have had a previous testicular injury, or if you have any concerns about using the product, do not use the Balldo™ without consulting your Doctor .
  2. Should at any time you feel pain you should stop using the Balldo™ and work out where the pain is coming from and consult your Doctor. If your balldo™ should become damaged during use or in any other way stop using the product immediately.
  3. Never use on areas which are swollen, cut, infected or inflamed.

https://www.balldo.com/pages/ballsex-faqs
 
I have no idea if this Nick reddit-tier story is true, but if so, dude murders skunks, one of the most harmless animals around, for no reason at all, and raccoons. What an absolute dick if he did any of this.

This is like Wings and his animal abuse cope where he claims it was just stories made up as a shock jock podcast host. If it's true, he's a mentally ill psychopath piece of shit. If it's a fake story to sound cool or get attention, he's a mentally ill psychopath piece of shit.
 
I dug up the original Skunk Drowning story since I've heard of it a couple times before, and it being mentioned again today @ fifteen pages ago, I got curious. So.
What a piece of human garbage, the least effort method would simply be to open the damn cage let it bugger off back into the woods. That incident could deter other skunks too.
Another thing he could have done was to drag the same cage into the woods to shoot it instead.
 
Eventually, when Zoomoids and Alphags find their balls in this online era, they'll tell the kids who try to pull that humiliation:

"You have pictures of my mom naked? You actually downloaded that shit, and showed everyone at school? What's wrong with you? You're more fucked up than she is?"

"You saw pictures of my dad naked? And you downloaded them? What, you like grown men or something? Are you some sort of sick faggot?"

"You actually downloaded/prepared tabs of videos of my parents having sex? You saw my dad's butthole and nuts? Alright, faggot. Wait, how do I know you didn't just sneak into my house, and record that? I should just beat your ass for being a freak, or maybe tell everyone you like sneaking into houses to see other kids' parents have sex? Enjoy jail, you retarded dipshit."
None of that shit is gonna work.
 
Back