Nicholas Robert Rekieta / Rekieta "Law" / Actually Criminal / @NickRekieta - Polysubstance enthusiast, "Lawtuber" turned Dabbleverse streamer, swinger, "whitebread ass nigga", snuffs animals for fun, visits 🇯🇲 BBC resorts. Legally a cuckold who lost his license to practice law. Wife's bod worth $50. The normies even know.

[FuhrerMustang]

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By God, there is no possibility for a man to look more homosexual than this. What is even this face. Disgrace

He makes Freddie Mercury look straight.

 

[Strix454]

I just saw Nick on MATI for the first time in ages, this man is wasting away. Is it aids?

I'll let the man explain it to you himself:

JUST DONT EAT. Drink a bottle of whisky a day and eat a snickers bar. Watch your brain rot. Listen to the voices of the helpful cats living inside your ceiling. You too can be a healthy ghoulish skeleton man like Nick.

 

[Nate Higgers]

I’m glad that Balldo Lawyer’s self inflicted suffering has revived the ancient Ceilingcat meme

 

[1 other person]

Balldo caught a small skunk in a bait cage and tossed it in a pond

I dug up the original Skunk Drowning story since I've heard of it a couple times before, and it being mentioned again today @ fifteen pages ago, I got curious. So.

Here's the original stream from Apr 1, 2019:

I went ahead and transcribed it because I find great joy in sourcing text rather than video:

Spoiler: Transcript

2:03:23
NR: I caught- I caught a skunk in a livetrap. That was the worst.

HB: How did you get rid of it? Did you- did it try to spray? I would imagine that would happen.

NR: It tried to. So, here's what I had to do. The worst part about this... So, I was trying to catch a stray cat, uh that was- that was uh fighting with one of my other cats. But my- my goal was to catch this cat 'cause it was a monster. Big, beefy cat. And I thought if I can catch this cat and keep it around my cats and get it domesticated, I wouldn't mind having it around because it'll kill raccoons. And uh, and so I was gonna catch this cat in a livetrap. Like, shine my light on the livetrap and it's a skunk. And the bad part is I had to drive to Texas from Minnesota, that day. So, uh I- I walked up very carefully, and I clipped a leash, like one of those yard uh wire leashes to this thing, since it's like 15-20 feet long. And then I drug the skunk across the yard to a pond and uh slowly walked kindof back and forth and the cage kindof went into the pond and I had to drown the skunk.

HB: Yeah, I kindof do that to the people in Red Dead Redemption 2, I think I understand exactly. I have the mental image, it's weird how there's a parallel there. [Laughs]

2:04:39
NR: [Laughs] Yeah and so I drag it in and I felt really bad 'cause like the pond was flooded so it wasn't de-, it was way out past the border of the pond normally, it wasn't deep, so like I could still see the top of the cage and the little- little- ra- uh skunk paw doing this... [clawing motion] and then it stops. And so like oh OK, so I pull the cage out, and I'm about to get the skunk out of it and throw the corpse off in the woods so it doesn't stink up the whole yard. And it comes back! It like starts breathing again-

HB: [groaning] Oh God...

2:05:11
NR: So I take the cage and I throw it back in the water and I left it there for like uh you know 30 minutes, 'cause idk if you guys know this but if you shoot a skunk it will spray like crazy way worse than anything you've ever seen so there's nothing you can do with it.

HB: Jeez...

NR: Drowning was the most humane way to take care of it, otherwise you have to starve them. It's terrible. So uh-

HB: Yeah, you can't have them spraying, that shit is just the worst.

2:05:36
NR: Yeah. Yeah. So uh [laughs] so the skunk- the skunk made uh basically skunk tea out of my pond, and then uh right before we left I pulled it out, it had been gone for a while then and got rid of the body, but uh, that's just uh that was just a shame, that was a shame. But I knew I couldn't shoot it because uh I did have a skunk go in one of our window wells, uh, the prior year, and I shot that thing and it sprayed and the room- the room that was attached to that window was not usable for something like 6 months.

HB: Wow!

2:06:11
NR: It was so brutal, so, drown your skunks y'all. The only way to do it. Uh, Next- Next- Also, live in the country. It's fun how many things you have to kill.

To summarize his story: Nick set out a livetrap to catch a troublesome stray cat, but he caught a skunk instead. He had to drive to Texas that day, and didn't want to deal with skunk spray if he just shot it, so out of expediency he comes up with this plan to drown the skunk in his pond and then dispose of its body in the woods, away from his yard. It took him 2 tries.

You might think, "Wait, you spent at least a half-hour drowning the poor feller before disposing of it in the woods. Why didn't you just release it there instead?" That's a great question.

I think he also killed a raccoon with a hammer

I believe it's the same stream, at 29:41. He mentions locking himself in his shed, armed with a hammer and knife, in order to slay 2 raccoons. It's all very reddit-tier, from the stupidity of it all to him using it for a bad analogy.

 

[DumbDude43]

is it normal for alcoholics to lose weight like this?
the two heavy drinkers i've known IRL were the opposite of skinny, they were overweight with huge round beer guts.
but they were beer drinkers, not liquor drinkers like nick, so maybe that's what makes the difference

 

[Beavis]

gd Nick lift some weights.

is it normal for alcoholics to lose weight like this?
the two heavy drinkers i've known IRL were the opposite of skinny, they were overweight with huge round beer guts.
but they were beer drinkers, not liquor drinkers like nick, so maybe that's what makes the difference

he’s definitely on the liquor and no food diet.

 

[unfer]

I just saw Nick on MATI for the first time in ages, this man is wasting away. Is it aids?

NOBODY HAS AIDS! I DON'T WANNA HEAR THAT WORD IN HERE AGAI yeah no it's probably AIDS.

 

[Kulee Baba]

is it normal for alcoholics to lose weight like this?
the two heavy drinkers i've known IRL were the opposite of skinny, they were overweight with huge round beer guts.
but they were beer drinkers, not liquor drinkers like nick, so maybe that's what makes the difference

I’m seen skinny beer drinkers. They look like shit but they still skinny. Look I think the muckbanger Beard explains dieting very well.

The same logic applies to boozemaxxing.

Also don’t forget Nick is on some form of stimulants. I wouldn’t be surprised if it was Ritalin since he claims he doesn’t react well to Addys.

 

[DumbDude43]

he’s definitely on the liquor and no food diet.

yeah but i want to know if this is something that's common in alcoholics or if it's unique to nick

 

[Me262PrinceOfTurboJet]

is it normal for alcoholics to lose weight like this?
the two heavy drinkers i've known IRL were the opposite of skinny, they were overweight with huge round beer guts.
but they were beer drinkers, not liquor drinkers like nick, so maybe that's what makes the difference

It's pretty normal. Alchoholics don't really eat much after they've been drinking for a while. It's pretty common for advanced alchoholics to be skinny and haggard. Even beer drinkers.

 

[polar bear]

You might think, "Wait, you spent at least a half-hour drowning the poor feller before disposing of it in the woods. Why didn't you just release it there instead?" That's a great question.

Thank you, I never heard that whole thing. I hate that piece of shit, that ain't even funny. PL but I almost drowned once, it's really really unpleasant, I'd rather be shot. Fuck Rekieta, fucking animal abuser, that stupid worthless bitch loser shaved chimp, hope he suffers everyday

 

[Beavis]

It's pretty normal. Alchoholics don't really eat much after they've been drinking for a while. It's pretty common for advanced alchoholics to be skinny and haggard. Even beer drinkers.

I remember Richard Christy from the Howard stern show lost a bunch of weight drinking liquor and not eating.

 

[SargonF00t]

I never saw this skit, lmao. I miss old funhaus. Ahead of their time.

I like how the cops are trying to catch the Cucks, but as they said, "they are all lubed up"

 

[Kulee Baba]

Thank you, I never heard that whole thing. I hate that piece of shit, that ain't even funny. PL but I almost drowned once, it's really really unpleasant, I'd rather be shot. Fuck Rekieta, fucking animal abuser, that stupid worthless bitch loser shaved chimp, hope he suffers everyday

Agreed. Now I’ll think of the white trash kid from the movie Gummo when I picture Young Nick.

Note no actual cats were harmed in the making of the movie. But Nick has proudly drowned animals.

 

[Goku 1000000 O]

Jim and Andy are chatting about Nick and Ralph parallels right now. (Not letting me do an embed vid for some reason)

The more energy Jim puts on watching Nick’s antics, the more likely we get a stream focused on him. I have to see Nick’s meltdown over that.

 

[PaladinBoo]

Jim and Andy are chatting about Nick and Ralph parallels right now. (Not letting me do an embed vid for some reason)

The more energy Jim puts on watching Nick’s antics, the more likely we get a stream focused on him. I have to see Nick’s meltdown over that.

I also look forward to the Juju and EVS meltdown over it too. I don't think those two has-beens really want to earn Jim's ire. If they do the salt from those two will be hilarious.

 

[Dixieland Buckaroo]

Here's the xyzern re-stream. They still have Rekieta stuff up but they're talking about the old days rn.

 

[polar bear]

I saw An0minous rightfully mentioning how Nick The Bitch went after John of all people, with John being the one vulnerable at the time.
And Nick also goes after poor animals and doesn't even have the balls to boink them into unconsciousness, no, he makes sure the skunk consciously suffers drowning. twice. TWICE
He laughed at Jersh when he was going through tough times, never helped to promote KF
He screamed at Sean in the most ridiculous, violent way - because he was too scared to confront Jersh
He screamed at July, not to his face, but to a replay of July's stream
Rekieta is a fucking coward and a cuck and a bastard bitch and a loser, and it doesnt even have anything to do with underwear parties at gay bars.
He really never goes after anyone who can hit back.
From now on anytime i see anyone saying 'oh but he could still go to rehab and get better' - i will consider you a dimwit, no offense, but Nick is done for and you all have to accept it. There is no rehab for being a bitch.

 

[hamsteak]

Can you give me some examples of this happening in other cases? I'd like to read about it.

The biggest one that I can recall is The Nostalgia Critic. He wasn't as much as a braggart from what I remember, but I do remember how he would constantly try those "skits" and they just got worse. I'll have to go back and refresh my memory for some better comparisons.

 

[Can of Spam]

Thank Christ someone else noticed it.
All that Twitter bullshit was driving me insane.

Stop super chatting Nick about John, stop tweeting at him to go to AA, leave him alone. You all already know he reads the thread, just discussing him as normal will lead to more stuff to discuss and laugh at. We don’t need to stage an autistic internet intervention of a spoiled rich kid

Does this mean we do or don't let Rackets know on Xitter how often Our Wife let's Us use the Baldo on her?

Because I'm still going to brag about it on here either way, $5/month or not. The Farms is rent-free at this point inside that hole-filed brain of his. Plenty of space.

Not were, are. To the point that Pippa has cancelled/delayed streams to, in an obvious code language, watch the weather first.

Sad when even the people that don't show their face on stream won't even share their voice with Rackets in the same call, since he refuses to pull up.