Nicholas Robert Rekieta / Rekieta "Law" / Actually Criminal / @NickRekieta - Polysubstance enthusiast, "Lawtuber" turned Dabbleverse streamer, swinger, "whitebread ass nigga", snuffs animals for fun, visits 🇯🇲 BBC resorts. Legally a cuckold who lost his license to practice law. Wife's bod worth $50. The normies even know.

[AltisticRight]

The worst day of his life was when he had a Transformer taken away from him as a child.
The second worst day of his life was when his order at Denny's was incorrect but he ate it anyways.
I wonder what the third worst day was

Ricardo and Romaine taking annual leave.

 

[AncientPhosphur]

Just realizing the only reason Nick hates cops is because they’re just like those prudes at his church but they can arrest him and separate him from his beloved booze and whiskey when he decides to get shitfaced and drive his mustang to walk naked through the streets because he’s totally comfortable with his body you guys stop being prudes.

 

[Maude Snew]

it's just one of those cheap Alibaba fridges painted black (his favourite colour) with a plastic logo glued on. Why would anyone buy this? Can he be worse with money?


Oh yeah, he can.
Buying a repainted Alibaba fridge.
From.
A scalper.

Well sometimes a fridge just has a red door and you see a red door and you want to paint it black. Then you fuck up a bit and just paint the entire thing. Perfectly normal there's even songs about that.

 

[East_Clintwood]

So reading @daffodils excellent breakdowns of Nick's streams one thing struck me. The dude drinks a lot more than I thought, I mean I knew he drank, but goddamn. Out of curiosity I decided to go look at the NIAAA guidelines on drinking, and it appears Nick qualifies as both a heavy drinker AND a binge drinker:

The patterns below are considered “heavy” drinking,16,17 which markedly increases the likelihood of AUD and other alcohol-related harms:1

• For women—4 or more drinks on any day or 8 or more per week
• For men—5 or more drinks on any day or 15 or more per week

For men and women, the risk for alcohol-related harm depends on a combination of how much, how fast, and how often they drink:

• Too much, too fast. When a woman has 4 or more drinks—or a man has 5 or more—in about 2 hours, this typically raises the BAC to 0.08% and meets the definition of binge drinking.16 Binge drinking causes more than half of the alcohol-related deaths in the U.S.18 It increases the risk of falls, burns, car crashes, memory blackouts, medication interactions, assaults, drownings, and overdose deaths18 (see Core article on medication interactions).
• Too much, too often. Frequent heavy drinking raises the risk for both acute harms, such as falls and medication interactions, and for chronic consequences, such as AUD1 and dose-dependent increases in liver disease,1 heart disease,19 and cancers20 (see Core article on medical complications).

 

[Bland Crumbs]

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View attachment 5941968
Am I over analyzing or does he actually have liver spots under his eye? I apologize for the quality of this picture, I couldn't get a good screenshot, but those are liver spots, right?

AIDS lesions. Drex better get checked.

And for less than what he paid he could get something like this REASONABLE MINI FRIDGE.
It even has a freezer! So he could keep ice in it instead of just having room temperature straight liquor all the time!
Or even popsicles so he can homoerotically lick them at the camera!

Or a nice cute retro one.

The options are a plenty!


Man... I want a mini fridge now.

I wonder how new ones even hold up. I still have the one my parents bought me for my dorm.

Nick efapping and doing his funny man bit, defends right to free assembly, criticizes police worship

His free assembly argument was so fucking terrible he was advocating, hopefully unintentionally, for things like people deciding to take over the road for black lives or whatever and essentially for shit like CHOP.

I get what he was trying to say but he is totally incapable of saying it.

 

[LiquidKid]

View attachment 5941962

My autism has been screaming at me to work out what this thing behind him is. At first I thought it was a current model Xbox Series X, however it looks larger than that.

However I then realised Xbox released a little bar fridge that seems to fit the size and shape of what appears behind him:

View attachment 5941963

Amazon - Xbox Fridge | Archive

A little bar fridge exclusively for your whisky in your stream room?

Wow Nick, you really out alcoholic'd yourself there....

He announced when he got this fridge years ago and bought it on stream as a meme and told the entire chat it was a terrible fridge.
I can personally attest to that as I’ve owned two of them, and both broke within a week and I got my money back from the store. Two different stores no less

The fridge is small, doesn’t get very cold, is stupid noisy other than the shape, the green interior, and the LED Xbox logo, the only novelty is that there’s a USB port on top so you can charge your phone off of it,

What’s really annoying is that Microsoft did in fact make a real fridge, but they only made one and gave it to iJustine for free and never produced any more of them. More reasons for me to hate influencers

He says things like this and then expects us not to believe he’s a trust fund boy.

!!!

Say what you want about Rackets but that liver can take a lot of abuse.

1. The loss of his beloved Transformer toy.
2. Incorrect Denny’s order.
.
.
.
.
.
.
101. His wife’s miscarriage or whatever, he was drunk and not paying attention.

Don’t forget that he was force fed jello as a kid and it traumatized him for life. Everyone always forgets the Jello, which he brings up constantly

 

[Agent of Misinformation]

This is a MILLION times more frightening than Mandela Megan. WTF, Nick. I'm not even joking right now, this ain't shitposting, a bit, anything. That face is utterly deranged. The man needs exorcism as much as he needs sobriety, and I'm dead serious.

Rekieta Household three months from now:

 

[Himedall All-seeing Waifu]

I find that "Dark Hood" by Death Cube K pairs very well with the Christsplaining clip on Elissa Clips.

Spoiler

I haven't tried it yet, but I'd imagine Billy Gould's "The Talking Book" album would have some good tracks.

Holy shit! This does work!

Minor tangent on 'vanity', 'God does not care about syllables', and 'invoking God for your small problems'.

A good person produces good things from the treasury of a good heart, and an evil person produces evil things from the treasury of an evil heart. What you say flows from what is in your heart.

https://biblehub.com/luke/6-45.htm

casting all your cares [all your anxieties, all your worries, and all your concerns, once and for all] on Him, for He cares about you [with deepest affection, and watches over you very carefully]

https://www.biblegateway.com/verse/en/1%20Peter%205%3A7

Remember yearly matsuri trips?

Calling it now that he 'won't be able to make it'. (read: was not invited) Matsuri is in under 2 months and no mention of it. They comped his rooms and he used it as a free extension to his summer hoildays.

View attachment 5941964
View attachment 5941968
Am I over analyzing or does he actually have liver spots under his eye? I apologize for the quality of this picture, I couldn't get a good screenshot, but those are liver spots, right?

This was discussed ad nauseum hundreds of pages ago. Nick said he keeps getting hit in the same spot.

Curiously, some people noticed a similar spot in the same on April Imholte's face and jokes about being slapped while 'hoovering the carpet' ensued.

Someone asked what he's, supposedly, drinking from the mug; it's a mix of sweet tea, heavy cream, and vanilla.

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Edit: That sweet tea tastes like dog shit btw.

Taken for the OP.

His graphics card that he bought was the EVGA Nvidia RTX 3090Ti. Retailed for $2000-$2,500 at the time depending on the store you got it from, but since at that time GPUs were still scalped, you know he definitely paid more than that.

This model also came out right towards the end of the Ethereum gold coin rush, so all the prices plummeted very shortly after it came out.

Why the fuck did he buy this one? His streams and videos are stupid simple, and any crappy cheap card could do it.

IDIOT.

He said what he paid for it but I forgot because it was years ago. Even funnier was that the 3090ti wasn't $2000+ better than the card he already had in there. I forget what it was, though.
Especially since he played shit like cuck simulator and risk of rain 2. You definitely need a scalped top of the line videocard for those.

This is correct and tracks with my recollections. IIRC he said he doesn't plug it in because of how loud and shitty it is but '[he] wanted one!'

And for less than what he paid he could get something like this REASONABLE MINI FRIDGE.
It even has a freezer! So he could keep ice in it instead of just having room temperature straight liquor all the time!
Or even popsicles so he can homoerotically lick them at the camera!

Or a nice cute retro one.

The options are a plenty!


Man... I want a mini fridge now.

Minor sperging: Why not just use the full-size one in your kitchen? Are your houses so large that it is so far? This has me puzzled, genuinely.

child porn, people didn't get what he was saying, repeats his views from the conversation with Kurt

NO! You UNDERSTOOD wrong!

Nicksplaining "hypocrisy": "has nothing to do with what you say... everything to do with your inability to make it not matter" (36m)

NO! YOUR definition is WRONG!

• next whiskey, the lick is back; Nick talks about how he went to college to have a good time
• Mike Johnson saying students shouldn't waste their parent's money sets him off, wasting your parent's money is actually great; student loans

wealth disparity, "many very wealthy people don't have much income", when you are born into wealth you can "take risks with less downside" (50m)

wants to invite Mersh on the show

Probably for tips on getting a Rumble contract.

short bathroom breaks from now, he talked to his wife about it: 9 minutes

He does not read the thread...

Dexter Taylor case is "high on his list"

Nick is 'high' on something, and if he does have a list, 'high' is a relative term. There could be a million things he wants to do, and 500th would be 'high' but never gotten to because of the other 499.

We're gonna have more guests, we're gonna have more shows, it's gonna be great... because I'm back, baby! No more delays, no more cancellations, that's the goal... 4-5 shows a week, that's the goal... and then eventually some openly announced schedule changes, we'll see how that goes"

Was there a firm announcement with timeslots? Nick has said this before. 2-3 day streams and maybe shifting the night show a few hours earlier. Was this more specific?

He said he will have exclusive LOCALS shows (14 a month) in May, and I am looking for a metric like that.

 

[Captain Manning]

wants to invite Mersh on the show

How fucking pathetic do you have to be to actually WANT Mersh on your show?

If this happens, I hope they both suffer simultaneous horse strokes and Metokur laughs so hard it cures his cancer.

Probably for tips on getting a Rumble contract.

Mersh almost certainly doesn't have one either. That's why this was so stupid. The company flat out said they're phasing them out and it's sink or swim time.

 

[Harm]

Holy shit! This does work!

Yeah, I was surprised too. Both the same length, the music ramps up as he does, mellows when he does, and even matches some of his physical mannerisms.

Edited them together for better effect here:

 

[ChromaQuack]

he said he doesn't plug it in because of how loud and shitty it is but '[he] wanted one!'

How fucking retarded to you have to be to have a modern GPU be loud? modern fans are so easy to adjust that pretty much every single piece of shitty fan control software will just let you set that shit to "silent" with a click and unless you stuck your ears to the glass end you won't hear anything outside of a very specific situation like torture testing with a benchmark.

Of course this is assuming the computer is built somewhat competently which, being Rackets I would have to assume it probably reaches 80°C (or 176 F, a mild Rackets fever) inside the case while idling because he somehow made a cooler setup that keeps heat in, replaced the thermal paste with toothpaste as both have "paste" in the name and has a veritable jungle of floating mesh cables and in-case whisky bottles getting in the way of any airflow between components.

This shit is worse than Shame Nopes and his liquid cooler with a heat INTAKE fan.

 

[Himedall All-seeing Waifu]

How fucking retarded to you have to be to have a modern GPU be loud? modern fans are so easy to adjust that pretty much every single piece of shitty fan control software will just let you set that shit to "silent" with a click and unless you stuck your ears to the glass end you won't hear anything outside of a very specific situation like torture testing with a benchmark.

Of course this is assuming the computer is built somewhat competently which, being Rackets I would have to assume it probably reaches 80°C (or 176 F, a mild Rackets fever) inside the case while idling because he somehow made a cooler setup that keeps heat in, replaced the thermal paste with toothpaste as both have "paste" in the name and has a veritable jungle of floating mesh cables and in-case whisky bottles getting in the way of any airflow between components.

This shit is worse than Shame Nopes and his liquid cooler with a heat INTAKE fan.

I should have been more clear, it is his mini-fridge.

 

[Neetorino]

Beyond that Nick isn't worth investing in financially.

The one real benefit Vito gives Dax over Nick is that Vito lives in LA. I can't imagine Dick would want to do a new podcast in the old Drunken Peasants style of webcams from different houses. Nick would likely be told to move to Cali before Dax would ever consider doing a show with him, and lord knows Nick can't afford to move his family out there. Unless we get the divorce arc leading to Nick being kicked from the house the odds of a Dick/Nick show are slim.

Edit:

Man... I want a mini fridge now.

My girlfriend got a little fridge that was intended for skincare products to keep by her PC. It's small, only holds four regular soda cans, but damn does it keep those cans impressively cold for a little $25 box.

 

[kurosawa]

Kurt got somewhat annoyed during the stream with Nick and the stupidity Nick tried to play at.

Had to add this edit - Kurt still considers Nick a friend. Godspeed good lad.

 

[Sharpeteer]

This is correct and tracks with my recollections. IIRC he said he doesn't plug it in because of how loud and shitty it is but '[he] wanted one!'

Okay I did not know he actually said that.

I do know the 3090Ti really isn't loud. You'd have to be mining crypto with it, intentionally set the fan curve to run the fans at 100% or something close to it, or be running the most resource intensive demanding task. You know Nick doesn't do any of those things, so he just flat out made up a reason why he doesn't use it. He just bought the most expensive scalped GPU for no reason.

Man... I want a mini fridge now.

But does your minifridge have a handle?
Do you have a tripod to rest it on?
We need answers.

I want one of those white Monster ones. Because I just need everyone that comes over to know I'm a piece of garbage that actually drinks these.

 

[Chazzed Up]

It's Family Guy tier in my opinion. You can't tell me stuff like 'hwip cream' isn't Random Access Humor, it's why Chris likes it and modeled his painful humor after it. Nick's doing the same shit but in an even less relatable way.

So I guess PPP had this same impression of Nick's comedy, just caught their new upload of Nick's Denny's standup routine. He had an even more on point observation about it, that being that the joke works even more poorly because there's no cutaways in real life.

How fucking retarded to you have to be to have a modern GPU be loud? modern fans are so easy to adjust that pretty much every single piece of shitty fan control software will just let you set that shit to "silent" with a click and unless you stuck your ears to the glass end you won't hear anything outside of a very specific situation like torture testing with a benchmark.

Of course this is assuming the computer is built somewhat competently which, being Rackets I would have to assume it probably reaches 80°C (or 176 F, a mild Rackets fever) inside the case while idling because he somehow made a cooler setup that keeps heat in, replaced the thermal paste with toothpaste as both have "paste" in the name and has a veritable jungle of floating mesh cables and in-case whisky bottles getting in the way of any airflow between components.

This shit is worse than Shame Nopes and his liquid cooler with a heat INTAKE fan.

My setup is loud as fuck because it's a docked-in gaming laptop, it was from a time when I had no place for a desktop setup. Only loud with very graphically intensive or unoptimized games though. Had to give up on Palworld before the house caught on fire.

 

[Captain Manning]

Kurt got somewhat annoyed during the stream with Nick and the stupidity Nick tried to play at.

View attachment 5942989

SHOWER CALLLLLL!!!!

All Balldoians are hereby required to assemble and give two minutes hate for Kurt's ultra treason against the undeniable wisdom and humor of LORD REKIETA!

No, but seriously, I would hope most people are sympathetic with Kurt on this one. That looked like a very painful and undeserved experience for him. Hopefully he's smart enough to not go on again.

(Also, that game he's playing looks interesting. What is it?)

 

[not william stenchever]

(Also, that game he's playing looks interesting. What is it?)

I think it's the early access game Manor Lords

 

[Sharpeteer]

No, but seriously, I would think most people are sympathize with Kurt on this one. That looked like a very painful and undeserved experience for him. Hopefully he's smart enough to not go on again.

I do sympathize a little, mostly because it's refreshing to see that he doesn't just act like Gosney or Megan Fox, who are full on Balldo-guardes I think.

 

[zimzam88]

and it appears Nick qualifies as both a heavy drinker AND a binge drinker:

Stalker child... his numbers are GOOD you non-comedian incel prude. He checks the numbers all the time, his doctor said he's in best health of his life. He only lightly drinks during his streams and socially and can meet all of his commitments faithfully in his very busy always changing schedule. A schedule that includes commuting to late night theater lessons for his children. He even had a couple sober streams in January. He puts his family first.