Nicholas Robert Rekieta / Rekieta "Law" / Actually Criminal / @NickRekieta - Polysubstance enthusiast, "Lawtuber" turned Dabbleverse streamer, swinger, "whitebread ass nigga", snuffs animals for fun, visits 🇯🇲 BBC resorts. Legally a cuckold who lost his license to practice law. Wife's bod worth $50. The normies even know.

[Howling Janny Dog]

Him singing Mandy to a male catfish is enough.

Unfortunately it's nothing fancy like that, just a shitpost lyric rewrite.

Go for it newfriend.

Rackets memes are always good. Especially knowing there's a pretty good chance he will see it, and get even more angry.

Thanks, I needed to get this one out of my system. I'll place it behind a spoiler so people who don't wanna read it can ignore it (and so everyone forgets it when we hit 5000 pages). Hit me with your finest puzzle pieces and trash cans.

Spoiler: WELCOME TO THE INTERWEBS

Sung to the tune of Bo Burnham's "Welcome to the Internet"

Welcome to the interwebs, have a look around
Any cow that brain of yours can think of can be found
We’ve got mountains of lawsuits, some funny, some weird
Too bad Lawsplaining at this point has just disappeared

Welcome to the interwebs, I'll take your coats and hats
Would you like to see some week-old news or dueling ceiling cats?
He hasn’t changed one bit, isn’t that right, Still-Life?
Just wait for half an hour while he “checks his wife”

Welcome to the interwebs, gather ‘round here folks
Would you like to see him stand up for some shitty racial jokes?
Dear Johnny, oh Mandy, fuck you Joshua Moon
He’s got a million dead pet toasts to consume

Welcome to the interwebs, things have gone awry
Here’s him impotently lashing out at Eric D. July
He’s got paintings and Balldos and a Mustang he crashed
And the Sonichu medallion that leaves the life and career of the holder irreperably trashed

Welcome to the interwebs, hold on to your socks
‘Cause he inserted a bottle up his pasty white buttocks
It is random and off-putting, his wife did it too
And now they’re swinging at Hedonism II

See him get aroused by Anime Sucks Cope & Sneed
Show him pictures of your underwear and what lies underneath
Trading wives and snorting coke with his new friend Aaron Imholte
And now Monty's suing him for defamation that he called him a pe-

Please donate to #IStandWithVic Ty just blew the case
Here’s him fellating his bottle with that Chalie Manson face
Which futa cock do you prefer? Take this quirky quiz
The Deep State sent the CPS to take away his kids

Could I interest you in everything, all of the time?
A little bit of everything, all of the time?
Child neglect’s a tragedy and drug use is a crime
Anything and everything, all of the time

Could I interest you in everything, all of the time?
A little bit of everything, all of the time?
Child neglect’s a tragedy and drug use is a crime
Anything and everything, all of the time

You know, it wasn’t always like this

Not very long ago, just before the coof
Back when he was posing as a wholesome Christian goof
This was boomer memes, Chad Dad streams, the Maddox suit too
We set our sights, spent our nights, waiting

For you, you, insatiable you
Dax and EVS and Vito undermined you too
And you did all the things we warned you not to do
Now look at you, oh, look at you

You, you, unstoppable, laughable
Your time is now, your inside’s out, honey how you’ve grew
With the substance withdrawal, who knows what you’ll do
It was always the aim, to let the world see your shame

Could I interest you in everything, all of the time?
A bit of everything, all of the time?
Child neglect’s a tragedy and drug use is a crime
Anything and everything, all of the time

Could I interest you in everything, all of the time?
A little bit of everything, all of the time?
Child neglect’s a tragedy and drug use is a crime
Anything and everything, and anything and everything, and anything and everything, all of the time

 

[200MB]

There's no way he will survive prison.

GET DAT BUTT

 

[Observantwatcherofthings0]

Reading this reminds me of my cousin. 2 weeks ago when I went to check up on him I caught him on the floor screaming about how he was going to die at the hands of coworker who is currently behind bars and has been for over 2 years now. I could see from the front door quite a lot of empty vodka and whiskey bottles,

I called an ambulance only for him to die before he even got there, he was only 29 at the time and he started drinking when he was 23, I will never forget how I saw him die in front of me

I can empathise, alcohol is no joke which is why I don’t think rackets can be sober without medication. My ex husband was an alcoholic, he died and was brought back from the brink a number of times, once we split and I wasn’t keeping him from hitting rock bottom he turned to hard drugs too. An absolute mess of a man who by all accounts should be dead by now.

 

[GeeWilickers47]

That's awfully generous. She looks like a crack goblin now.

Now? Kayla has always looked like a fucking ghoul. I remember when she first appeared on stream, my first thought was how horrifying her dead soulless eyes were.

 

[Observantwatcherofthings0]

I can empathise, alcohol is no joke which is why I don’t think rackets can be sober without medication. My ex husband was an alcoholic, he died and was brought back from the brink a number of times, once we split and I wasn’t keeping him from hitting rock bottom he turned to hard drugs too. An absolute mess of a man who by all accounts should be dead by now.

Quoting my own post just to conclude, kids, a wife, a home, a job will not be enough for him to get sober if he doesn’t want to. He has to want it for him because god knows my kids weren’t enough for my ex to get sober. An addict has to go through a number of steps before he can truly face addiction. Primarily is admitting the problem. Which nick won’t do/hasn’t done.

 

[AnOminous]

Quoting my own post just to conclude, kids, a wife, a home, a job will not be enough for him to get sober if he doesn’t want to.

He publicly insults his wife, constantly complains about how much he hates his kids and resents having to do even the tiniest thing for them, and is just a bitter black hole and a piece of shit. He doesn't want any of that shit. He wants cocaine, to coom, and to be blackout drunk at all times.

 

[Observantwatcherofthings0]

He hasn’t learned a thing.

 

[Queesechake]

Now? Kayla has always looked like a fucking ghoul. I remember when she first appeared on stream, my first thought was how horrifying her dead soulless eyes were.

There were some old pics posted in the thread where she actually looked pretty normal. Not pretty but also not like a goblin.

 

[Doctor John B. Zyklon]

He hasn’t learned a thing.

Heh, "hashtag lazyeyefakechad" man, with such scathing remarks like that, how could one survive?

 

[Fapcop]

You know what man? I'm rooting for you to get her. You've got the best chances

Thank you buddy!

Behind all the abuse and gaslighting Nick subjected to her over the years, there is a beautiful, good, Christian woman in there!

Before Rekieta:


After Rekieta:


Being married to a narc does a real number on you. It wasn’t that long ago that she was a decent looking woman:

I mean nobody else here will fight you over her,

Oh yeah?!? KAYLA DEFENSE FORCE ASSEMBLE!!

and really just go on eBay and pick up the Blu-Rays of Star Trek the original series, Next Generation, and basically everything before Kurtsman/JJ, and you should be able to lure her in.

I’ll bet you that Nick, that piece of garbage, never even watched Trek with her. Unless possibly those weird 90’ies era Trek porn parodies with “Mr. Sperm” and “Captain Cock”.

April? Well you'll have to dig her out of the dump.

Idk man… April has a certain… Charm to her:

 

[Observantwatcherofthings0]

He hasn’t learned a thing.

He and she are on unconditional bond?

 

[Vesperus]

If post #100,000 isn't "Anime sucks, cope and sneed" I'm going to punch someone in the balls.

 

[Captain Manning]

I’m starting to feel a heavy meme with Rekieta “outsmart bullet” and he’s holding a 22LR.

See the whole defense is going to circle around the 22LR and he’ll be totally vindicated!

I think the .22 talk is a distraction.

It is! Thank you!

It's almost like the new butter dish and tripod. Seeing this being discussed so much here is annoying. Endless pages of the difference between .22LR, 5.56x45mm, .223 Remington, and oh... by the way... which one is best to shoot a platypus with?

Accordingly, Nick is seizing on the .22 shell casing found, and claim he doesn't own a firearm chambered for it. Okay, fine. He very well might not. Maybe he's right that it's part of an art piece. I dunno.

Guess what? That doesn't change the fact he got caught with 26 grams of coke a whole bunch of other shit.

I think it's an unwelcome and unneeded distraction. They logged evidence. I don't think that particular piece (a single expended shell casing on the floor) is gonna factor into his case much though.

View attachment 6045784His comments are going to be a dumpster fire. And I can’t imagine he isn’t going to look like shit.

Posted earlier in this thread several times. I see, true to your name, you still heart him tho. Noted.



EDIT: Elaboration

 

[AnOminous]

Accordingly, Nick is seizing on the .22 shell casing found, and claim he doesn't own a firearm chambered for it. Okay, fine. He very well might not. Maybe he's right that it's part of an art piece. I dunno.

Guess what? That doesn't change the fact he got caught with 26 grams of coke a whole bunch of other shit.

The fact that all he denies is these tiny little nitfucking details more or less confirms the others are true. The 26 grams of coke? He has nothing whatsoever to say about that shit. The stinking, filthy kids dressed in dirty rags? Nothing. The cuckoldry and absolute degeneracy? He literally streamed a lot of that shit.

 

[Swole McPole]

Nick only does drugs he can smell.

YET! He hasn't done an IV drug YET!

How long is it since you were insisting that you'd never done cocaine? Or that you and our wife were monogamous?

Never say never!

 

[genericwhitemale]

Did anyone in Coomalot's chat ask him if he would consent to the release of the bodycam footage?

 

[Fapcop]

I can empathise, alcohol is no joke which is why I don’t think rackets can be sober without medication. My ex husband was an alcoholic, he died and was brought back from the brink a number of times, once we split and I wasn’t keeping him from hitting rock bottom he turned to hard drugs too. An absolute mess of a man who by all accounts should be dead by now.

Alcohol is a real shitshow, and if we had to reclassify drugs and substances as to harm irrespective of their cultural significance, I could totally see it getting banned, while things like hallucinogens and opiates could be decriminalized.

Both in terms of short and long term health effects and addiction potential, alcohol is the worst.

You see junkies getting clean after decades of use, with none of the permanent brain and liver/gut damage caused by alcohol.

 

[Keystone]

Idk man… April has a certain… Charm to her:
View attachment 6046325

That finger placement in the foreground

 

[Fapcop]

YET! He hasn't done an IV drug YET!

How long is it since you were insisting that you'd never done cocaine? Or that you and our wife were monogamous?

Never say never!

Nick always try to pull these low tier shyster legalese takes because he thinks he’s really clever.

“I’ve NEVER done IV drugs… Sure, I have sniffed and smoked heroin, and I do have cocaine scabs on my arms, but I never said I don’t! Hehehe”

 

[Oxyjen]

The vast majority of cocaine being imported into the US (>70-90%) is already adulterated with a drug called levamisole - a deworming agent used to treat parasitic hookworm infections.

Source

This is why it made Nick Rekieta so sick. . .

Nick is actually a hookworm.

I think you nailed it. That is some horrible shit.