Nicholas Robert Rekieta / Rekieta "Law" / Actually Criminal / @NickRekieta - Polysubstance enthusiast, "Lawtuber" turned Dabbleverse streamer, swinger, "whitebread ass nigga", snuffs animals for fun, visits 🇯🇲 BBC resorts. Legally a cuckold who lost his license to practice law. Wife's bod worth $50. The normies even know.

[trolol]

They just convicted Hunter Biden on the guns and drugs, Balldo next.

 

[SaidNoOneEver]

Barber: "From the front you're going to look like Gump, from the side you're Simple Jack"

I'm really hoping Simple Nick sticks.

 

[Edict of Expulsion]

I want to know where the fuck that Denny's cop joke was going

Unfortunately the only understanding is through having holes in your brain.
Nick is on another mental level, a very hole-y one.

 

[Party Hat Wurmple]

she's an easy lay, she fucked a homeless alcoholic dude repeatedly last year, and is still friends with him. Nick would seem like Brad Pitt compared to thatt

So you're saying I have a chance? I too, want to add layers to the Cuckception.

Essentially, Nick thinks that if he "doesn't know" or "can't remember" then he can escape accountability of any kind (and to anyone) whether it is his audience, his wife, his own kids, and likely even himself. He just can't cope with reality.

And you all rated me Dumb when I said this wigga was in the Bargaining stage of grief. I can't wait for this to be the children's fault again.

Keanu is already dating a loud mouth retard doubt she'd want to take on another.

I call you optimistic for assuming Aaron's Cuck Couch doesn't double as a Casting Couch. I call you optimistic for assuming her boyfriend isn't his bull. I call you optimistic for assuming Keanu doesn't let Aaron watch. The Layers of Cuckception are infinite.

Nick may have real problems hiring a criminal defense attorney. Because I suspect a fair number of people are going to talk to Nick about how he wants to defend himself and run away from having anything to do with it. Barnes may actually be his best choice because will at least give Nick the defense he wants in court. He may also find someone so greedy or desperate that they do exactly what Nick wants.....and Nick goes to prison.

I really, REALLY want Barnes to do his schtick and represent him. Either Barnes completely DECIMATES any chance he ever had or not seeing prison and forever stains his own career, going down with the ship in a giant Lolsuit or he somehow pulls an OJ Tiered Jackie and gets Nick off. Either solution is absolutely hilarious and devastating for everyone around Nick as he goes right back to drinking and drugs.

 

[O Puffers Where Art Thou?]

I am not trying to shit on gun ownership in general. A gun is a tool and like any tool it has its place in our world. But the culture that has formed around it in America isn't healthy. A lot of people are basing their entire identities around guns and are spending thousands of dollars on guns that they likely will never use.

There is a certain reason why the gun rights movement has attracted people like Christopher Cantwell and the Cumia brothers.

If you're saying that, while the second ammendment is in itself a positive trait of the US, there are many gun owners who use their hobby as an excuse to ignore the Bolshevik takeover of Washington D. C. because of how frightening it is to think about, and how difficult it would have been to prevent, then I agree with you.

 

[ChromaQuack]

I had my daddy o five deja vu earlier, and I think it's time to have another with a cow many of you will be familiar with.

Nicky claims he can just 'stop' drinking and doing coke and that he is currently clean, let's assume for the sake of argument we believe this and that he has either gone cold turkey or reduced his intake significantly (don't tell me he would die from it, he would not, he's not at the level where even alcohol withdrawals could cause a severe risk, just a hell of a shit time)

Now, I am sure all of you here are very much familiar with our porcine boy, Mister Minotaur's favourite retard son, the ragepig; what many of you may or meigh not be familiar with is that in the past year he has gotten "clean" plenty of times and he had even lost a good deal of weight! yet what happened every single time, a week, two weeks or a month after? he would return to substance abuse and he would not do so by just 'having a beer', it would be as much of a bender as he could afford to partake in with his meager Mexican pesos salary.

Now let's go back to Nicky, not only is he allegedly 'clean' without having addressed the underlying issues that made him turn to substance abuse but his criminal case is looming over his head, with the court date recently being confirmed to be a little over two months away surely our good Christian boy will stay strong, surely a combination of stress and unlimited funds would not end up with the mother of all benders; him seizing on the floor of his million dollar McMansion, stuck in a loop of once again repeating 'anime sucks cope and sneed' as hallucinations of farting obese dragons, dancing in a mad ritual, circle around Nicholas chanting 'pull up!' and feed to the sound of Joshua Moon's delighted laughter, causing what's left of his brain to melt down.

Now, I'm not saying August promises to be a hoot and a holler of a month for our dear Nicholas, but I will say it would be wise of you to invest in a popcorn machine and a dozen pounds of corn.

 

[Gas Station Nachos]

They just convicted Hunter Biden on the guns and drugs, Balldo next.

Yup. It'll be funny to see Barnes and Co try to explain why it's fine it happened to Hunter but not fine when when it happened to Balldo

https://archive.is/9dALF

 

[indomitable snowman]

Sorry, I was unclear. Spending 110,000.00 USD on any Lincoln vehicle is crazy. It's an upjumped Ford.

It's not the Lincoln of yesteryear.

Didn't Mandy drive a 1980s Lincoln town car? Maybe he just wanted to get the most expensive Lincoln car to impress Mandy lol.

 

[Angry Crustacean]

Yup. It'll be funny to see Barnes and Co try to explain why it's fine it happened to Hunter but not fine when when it happened to Balldo

 

[Friend of Dorothy Parker]

I would have thought Nick is in danger of having his Navigator impounded for not having it registered for over a year, but I guess not. Maybe if he keeps not registering it they'll eventually do it. The thing is technically not road legal without registration.

Most people just get a warning, even a few, though that varies by place and a bunch of other things. I also saw someone link these, indicating Hennepin and Ramsey won't pull you just for expired tabs (though obvs they're citable either way):

https://www.minnpost.com/glean/2021/08/minneapolis-police-to-no-longer-pull-over-motorists-for-minor-traffic-violations/

https://www.ramseycounty.us/sites/default/files/County%20Attorney/Non-Public-Safety%20Traffic%20Stop%20FAQs.pdf

They just make you pay for every year missed. And if you're ticketed, you also have a ticket to pay (though if you get the registration done before the court date and have no shame, they usually void the ticket).

Also should note that to a point, mn registration tax is based on the value of the vehicle. No, I can't find a calculator - they say call for an estimate so the math seems nuts.

The real cost of license tabs is paying a percentage of the car's value.

"It's going to be how much was the car valued when it was new, the manufacturer's suggested retail price (MSRP) and the age of the vehicle. Those are the two key variables," he said.

The percentage you pay, set by the state legislature, is 1.575%.

In year one, the cost is based on 100% of the car's MSRP. Let's say you bought a new car for $30,000. That means the fee would be $472.50 in addition to the fees mentioned earlier. As the car gets old, the valuation goes down anywhere from 5-15% each year for the next ten years. In year 10, it's 10% of the car's valuation. For the example equation listed, that means the fee would be $47.25.

"Once you get to be an 11-year-old vehicle or older, it's only $20," said Loper.

https://www.cbsnews.com/amp/minnesota/news/how-are-license-tab-fees-calculated-in-minnesota/

Nick bitched about the registration tax cost before. As you might, if you spent $200k on vehicles in a year or so.

 

[Himedall All-seeing Waifu]

The weird part is he probably isn't doing it to grift his fans. The only ones he has left seem to be fellow coomers, degenerates, and lolbertarian types. I think the "pray for my sick hamster" types are mostly all gone.

I think "Christian maverick", along with "piercing legal commentator" is part of his identity he's desperate to get back after the damage somebody - who was definitely not him - did to his remaining shreds of reputation.

To be fair to the evangelicals, I dunno how prevalent that idea really is. Nick seems to have dialed it up to 11. I don't think he's following any sect other than the one in his own twisted mind.

I think if you asked most evangelicals, they would tell you that Nick needs to repent... and soon.

At least I hope so.

'Evangelicals' is a HUGE category that for a lot of people means 'heretic'... Uh... I mean 'Non-Catholic' (Relax. It was a joke.)

If I am being fair to the Evamgelicals, I wouls imagine that most (at least in the rural areas) would look at Nick disapprovingly and say that he 'needs Jesus'.

JUST COVER A FUCKING TRIAL AND STOP TALKING ABOUT EVERYTHING ELSE.

But he HATES them and would rather get a happy-ending massage! BUT WAIT, then he LOVES them beciase they are so EASY, he makes SO MUCH money, and he doesn't have to prepare as much. The only hang-up he has is THESE KIDS and his schedule... He is SO BUSY, and he doens want to start streaming at 8, then have to leave at 10n and again at 1... If you are talking about NOW though, he informed us in his car stream that he still doesn't have the time EVEN with the kids gone because suddenly 'doesn't have the time' means 'doesn't have the emotional energy to deal with things'.

This is the entire evolution of the trial cope since he stopped.

Half the chat would be calling him a child abuser and the other half would be saying "Oh look, it's Nick's future!"

That will happen no matter what he does, and he has no idea how to handle it.

Remember when he tried to create a hug box in his channel by yelling all the 'intelligence prudes' to 'fuck off' and 'never give [him] money and leave'? That ended with his income cratering, viewer numbers evaporating, and his LOCALS losing thousands of members.

Nick is used to people being on his side, and he does not know how to handle controversy.

Nick hates trial streams. As a narcissist, he can't stand anything where he is not the main character. He hates people paying attention to juries (and lawtubers who go into the courtroom) instead of paying attention to him. He thinks trial streams are boring because he can't talk during the trial.

If he wanted to turn a new leaf, he would have just done a few trial streams, but he wants to continue being the world's least funny and most racist comedian.

Speaking of which, please finish the cop in a Denny's joke now that you're sober. I really want to hear the punchline.

The meaning of that joke is one of the most fascinating things that will NEVER get a proper answer... It keeps me up sometimes...

This sentence does not do justice to the "Judge Pussy Liquor" clip, the masturbation/corner demon bj segment, or even mentions the high score and instant meme of "AnimeSucksCopeAndSneed" superchat (re)readings. Someone must have a supercut that can be used to show how awesome that stream was and why the warrant (likely) got signed and executed shortly thereafter.

Fair points. To save space, I was trying to be brief, but maybe I was too curt.

I think that @Useful_Mistake has some of these clips in their OP for the legal case that I will shamelessly steal... with proper attribution.

I will attempt another editorial pass to incorporate this and other advice I have gotten in the next day or so.

 

[Procrastinhater]

Didn't Mandy drive a 1980s Lincoln town car? Maybe he just wanted to get the most expensive Lincoln car to impress Mandy lol.

He said he did but I think it was a 2000's model.

 

[Captain Manning]

Didn't Mandy drive a 1980s Lincoln town car? Maybe he just wanted to get the most expensive Lincoln car to impress Mandy lol.

They claimed to own a 1980s era Lincoln Town Car, and posted pictures of such a car, but they actually owned a 2004 model (which might have been totaled in an accident).

See the the infamous post BMJ and Patrick voters will never forgive @Balldo's Gate for:

https://kiwifarms.st/threads/nicholas-robert-rekieta-rekieta-law-nickrekieta.53871/post-17433372

 

[cybernurse1998]

I am not trying to shit on gun ownership in general. A gun is a tool and like any tool it has its place in our world. But the culture that has formed around it in America isn't healthy. A lot of people are basing their entire identities around guns and are spending thousands of dollars on guns that they likely will never use.

Shitloads of gun owners world wide have guns that they will never ever shoot. Around 3/4 of all cartridges ever produced are out of production. All of the Japanese from 7.7jap to 8mm nambu are unobtanium. Same goes with 7.65 French, .44 Henry, 50 Sharps RF, 577 Snyder, all pinfire, 8mm Styer, 455 webley ect. That and lots of gun owners have guns that are to historic/ valuable to shoot. I could shoot my 1777 Charlieville or my Great grandfather's 1851 colt or Colt peacemaker, but those are far to valuable and historic to ever risk damaging.

 

[Tablet County]

The meaning of that joke is one of the most fascinating things that will NEVER get a proper answer... It keeps me up sometimes...

A chatter on KC theorized that cops get confused at Denny's because they serve ham and bacon and cops are pigs.

My theory is that the Cop At A Denny's joke is some kind of inside joke, or a bit of Random Access Humor that Nick decided to spring on Kurt and was too wetbrained to explain the joke properly. And when he saw scuffed Kyle Gass become confused by his joke two things happened.

The first is that some part of Rackets' brain realized he fucked up the joke in some way. His ego told him "fuck, if I admit that I bombed the joke people will think less of me, I have to justify it somehow". You'll notice how he basically pulls an explanation from one of the people in his chat at one point, showing that he didn't actually know what the punchline was and was scrambling for something to fill in the blank.

The other thing that happened was the little Dick Masterson that lives in his head started whispering; "look at that fat KAREN f-slur, he's so TRIGGERED! Just keep making up bullshit to make him angrier!" And so Nick starts blabbing on about nothing, clearly taking pleasure in exasperating this bald autist. After all it'd make Daddy Dick proud!

 

[Useful_Mistake]

I think that @Useful_Mistake has some of these clips in their OP for the legal case that I will shamelessly steal... with proper attribution.

Theanimesuckscopeandsneed clip is indeed part of the OP almost completely unedited (there’s only one edit between the last and almost last read of it when he went on a tangent about how he’s ending the stream but read the super chat before hand). I wanted to preserve it as was (albeit with Null’s commentary), so I couldn’t be accused of deliberately pulling it out of the context. It contains all the context (and therefore is 26 minutes long)

 

[Dixieland Buckaroo]

I haven't finished indexing landmarks yet, but I am trying to backtrack from a MN 227 highway sign that appears at about 10 or so minutes into the stream. This appears to be a very short stretch of road, but I have not had time to follow up on it

EDIT: I am a dumbfag and this was a mislead, read down the thread! The Nimrod thing would have been funny, though.

Spoiler: Buncha autism

That appears to be a weird county road sign, not a state highway.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/County_roads_in_Minnesota

Most county roads are white squares with black text, but some are blue pentagons for whatever reason, depending on the county. Here's a junction sign with State Highway 227 (going from Nimrod... in 2009):

https://maps.app.goo.gl/9h5Bc1kRY6my5kaY9

The state highways are blue squares with a yellow topper:


But 227 was decommissioned after the street views were taken (it's now referred to as the 227 spur). There is a county road 227, but all the signage for it is the standard white square with black text:

https://maps.app.goo.gl/nVD2xs9xqhJv3nWp8

Sooo... the old highway still could be the right stretch. Wadena County does seem to use the pentagon for their county roads, as this junction sign with road 12 shows from 2023 (and is nearby):

https://maps.app.goo.gl/ScdAM7NswmqeWet5A

The other option would be neighboring states- IA, SD, ND - their county signs are blue pentagons. But Iowa's are letter -number, and Z## are in the east-central part of the state. SD and ND seem to have double digit numbers primarily for their county roads. (Wisconsin uses white/black rectangles.)

We know Nick has been choosing stupid drink cans for his streams, was he trying to say something with his driving stream?

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Nimrod,_Minnesota

Edit to add: I don't know if the time would line up? That's a long drive from the Balldo Compound.

https://maps.app.goo.gl/bsBX4pHDTZvaehcAA

A good two hour drive, almost due north. One interesting theory, was he angry driving on the phone to his dad, and then began his drive back home, and has no other friends to talk to, so he just fired up the stream? Just speculating. So WEIRD and FUNNY.

 

[Captain Manning]

I think you guys are putting WAY too much thought into trying to figure out the Denny's cop "joke." The man is a drunken, coked up, brain damaged idiot that says shit.

He was getting to "female cop... gun drawn... doggo" levels right before the raid happened. Who knows what we would have gone on to see the following nights if that raid didn't happen.

EDIT: Typo.

 

[Tablet County]

I think you guys are putting WAY too much thought into trying to figure out the Denny's cop "joke." The man is a drunken, coked up, brain damaged idiot that says shit.

He's was getting to "female cop... gun drawn... doggo" levels right before the raid happened. Who knows what we would have gone on to see the following nights if that raid didn't happen.

Thing is, Mersh knew what he wanted to say, he just couldn't get enough oxygen to his brain to get it to work properly. Similarly, with balldo there is a kernel of logic to his abortive attempts at humor. It's a mad logic–the type you get out of schizophrenics–but there is a method to his madness.

I'm reminded of this guy who got taken in for an interrogation because his girlfriend was found murdered in his apartment, and he was there ambling about the house. He kept telling the cops this bizarre story about his friend and his friend's dad breaking in, killing his girlfriend, and shooting him in the eye with a bow and arrow, and it turned out he had been shot in the eye—with a gun, and there was a .22 round lodged in his brain.

 

[Not Who You Think]

Any normal person would say that you can't come back from where Rackets was without some form of detox and rehab, Nick however continues to believe that he's the exception to every rule and human limitations don't apply to him. He's a liar, a fool or both.

Same energy:

Some people are just born with tiger blood. Addiction, depression, all of it goes away if you follow the wisdom of Nike.

Spoiler: Full Interview