Elliot Page / Ellen Page - Former actress, starred in Juno. Turned into a pooner and divorced her wife because being a lesbian was not boosting her career anymore. Receives a daily dose of asspatting from Hollywood. Likes to show off her "male" body using fake abdominals.

[Foxymophandlemama]

She ever get her rotdog?

Not that we know of

 

[YouGuysAren'tThatSmart]

Not that we know of

Psh. What a fucking poser. She should just go back to being a wahmen.

 

[Slideshow Bill]

View attachment 6315719
The scene where Viktor stood up to the dad. See how tough and manly Ellen is.

This is less than two minutes but it feels like it goes on forever. I'm convinced that Ellen coasted on her "mousy brunette, pseudo tomboy, girl next door" image because she can't act worth a damn.

 

[Stupid Lisa Garbageface]

View attachment 6315719
The scene where Viktor stood up to the dad. See how tough and manly Ellen is.

It sounds like she's trying to deepen her voice by talking kind of from the bottom of her throat, which will do serious damage to her vocal cords if she does that for extended periods and probably even hurts like hell in the moment.

 

[Marc]

In an attempt to better understand what the fuck Umbrella Academy is/was and how it managed to be a snowballing turd, a visit to wikipedia alerted me to the fact that someone edited the articles for the series to replace every instance of Ellen's "Vanya" character with "Viktor" - fucking up the synopses of the entire series and its production, just so that the fictional character who doesn't exist can't be deadnamed...Despite every one of those episodes featuring Ellen as Vanya continuing to exist. What an odd religion.

 

[YouGuysAren'tThatSmart]

This is less than two minutes but it feels like it goes on forever. I'm convinced that Ellen coasted on her "mousy brunette, pseudo tomboy, girl next door" image because she can't act worth a damn.

You got it all wrong. It goes on so long because she's so good you're like uber engaged and just waiting tentatively for the next breathtaking word manly uttered out of her manly adams apple!!

 

[Surfin Terf]

It sounds like she's trying to deepen her voice by talking kind of from the bottom of her throat, which will do serious damage to her vocal cords if she does that for extended periods and probably even hurts like hell in the moment.

Until I watched this scene it hadn't even occurred to me that she was faking her man voice in all those interviews (because why would you go out of your way to sound like that?). But yeah, she's completely failing to maintain her man voice here. She sounds like a 12 year old boy trying to sound tough. And her acting is on par with a child actor.

 

[JelloJerk]

View attachment 6315719
The scene where Viktor stood up to the dad. See how tough and manly Ellen is.

@Surfin Terf beat me to the punch but holy shit she sounds like a teenage boy with the constant voice crack. And her hammed up anger is just goofy. Actually reminds me of how they make women act in all the woke Marvel slop movies and Star Wars, it's not a "man being tough" aggression, it's an "angry girlboss" aggression.

 

[Metatron]

Psh. What a fucking poser. She should just go back to being a wahmen.

She did permanently fuck up her voice.
All she will be is an irrelevant frog-voiced little woman with a sad face and messed up hormones. Wouldn't be surprised if she harakiri'd within the next 3 years.

 

[LimeRikki]

Wouldn't be surprised if she harakiri'd within the next 3 years.

Drug overdose - they can't have it be a suicide unless her death can help the trans movement. Its too risky.

Ellen has been unstable for a long time. I suspect she has someone keeping an eye on her at all times, to some degree at least. Especially now, where anything she does is a reflection of the trans community.

 

[Procrastinhater]

Spoiler: PL

I used to email them for a bit because I was legitimately curious about their beliefs. They don't believe that the members committed suicide but "ascended". I think I was too forward and inquisitive because they stopped replying after a while. I wonder if they thought I was some kind of fed or was my autism too much for the literal fucking death cult that worshiped a pair of hippy space gods. I'm not a glowie, just a retard. If I knew I could have gotten some genuine merch out of it, I would have eased up on the questions. But I was concerned that if I talked to them too much, the real feds would have crawled up my email and asshole. /SPOILER]

Spoiler: Talking to the Alien Cult

Yeah I went through a stage where I was interested in all these weird cults, and I saw their website was still up, they were polite but fairly suspicious at first, I guess they used to get a lot of people fucking with them and they were understandably paranoid about Feds.
Once they figured out I wasn't a cop and I wasn't judging them on their beliefs they opened up.
I never asked for the patch, I had a few email with them asking about their beliefs and about Ti and Do's mission (I called them that, I never called him Applewhite, when you're talking to lunatics you have to meet them on their level) they said it would be easier if they sent me his book, it had all the answers, I was in two minds about giving them my address but I decided fuck it, what can they do, send me pamplets? The Ody guys on the video are total dweebs, I didn't get the idea they were violent. I wouldn't have doxed myself to the Peoples Temple, Jim Jones's guys lol but those dudes are harmless.
When I got the book I had a cover letter from them saying they'd sent me the patch because I insisted on paying for the book after they wanted to send it free. I didn't want to owe them anything.
Strange people, definitely weird, but friendly enough.

Not that we know of

The Rotdog surgeries have such catastrophically bad outcomes and such a high percentage of failures theres no way her handlers would allow her to do it, even if she wanted one of those weird abdo phallos that means they don't have to skin her arm.
If Ellen got a 'dog installed and it went necrotic it would be terrible PR for the Cult at a time popular opinion is already turning and the pendulum swinging back against them.

Drug overdose - they can't have it be a suicide unless her death can help the trans movement. Its too risky.

Ellen has been unstable for a long time. I suspect she has someone keeping an eye on her at all times, to some degree at least. Especially now, where anything she does is a reflection of the trans community.

Yeah theres no way the Cult would let their King Pooners death be recorded as a suicide unless they saw some way to benefit from it.
The PR damage of having probably the most famous Pooner on the planet rope after years of interviews claiming how Pooning has made her happier than ever means they'd pull any and all strings they could to have it labelled "misadventure" or some shit.

 

[Not A Bunny]

In an attempt to better understand what the fuck Umbrella Academy is/was and how it managed to be a snowballing turd, a visit to wikipedia alerted me to the fact that someone edited the articles for the series to replace every instance of Ellen's "Vanya" character with "Viktor" - fucking up the synopses of the entire series and its production, just so that the fictional character who doesn't exist can't be deadnamed...Despite every one of those episodes featuring Ellen as Vanya continuing to exist. What an odd religion.

The show lost me in the second season. I get that the point is everyone's a dysfunctional asshole because of course they are and that's supposed to be "the point", it took great pains to protect Allison (nobody called her out for effectively causing the shit that happened in the second season by not offing Vanya) and prop up whatever cause Page had. Like, I get Allison being part of the civil rights movement, but I feel like Vanya's storyline was there to be all "look, gays are oppressed, too!"

Frankly, at the point in season two where Five is trying to gather everyone to get back to their timeline, he should have shot whoever wouldn't comply in the kneecap and dragged them back to the meetup point. The fact that "I'm allowed to be a dysfunctional asshole for the sake of the story rather than acknowledging that fucking up the timeline might have serious implications on the universe" was a valid story point in the writers' room told me how much more time I should invest in this garbage-fest.

Regarding Page directly: naturally there had to be a "transition" of character rather than Page remaining as Vanya. That would be acting, and acting is a problem for this chucklefuck when there's an agenda to push, which is reflected in the stupid fandom that thinks somehow not deadnaming a character is important or some shit.

 

[PetiteFeet]

@Surfin Terf beat me to the punch but holy shit she sounds like a teenage boy with the constant voice crack. And her hammed up anger is just goofy. Actually reminds me of how they make women act in all the woke Marvel slop movies and Star Wars, it's not a "man being tough" aggression, it's an "angry girlboss" aggression.

funny, I was thinking something similar. You know how when a troon goes mask off, where you can just *feel* the testosterone in his reaction? This is the pooner version and I'm genuinely surprised she was bawling her eyes out while playing pretend because it felt like she was channelling that make-believe tranny fantasy they all project onto everyone else. It sounds like tranny propaganda if you take the context of it being a tv show away from that clip.

even if she wanted one of those weird abdo phallos that means they don't have to skin her arm.

Are you forgetting the dinner rolls beneath her stomach skin? She can't have that phalloplasty either. Besides, I thought the abdominal phallo was used more for obese pooners? Free real estate and all.

 

[Marc]

The show lost me in the second season.

Anyone making it through the first episode deserved all that followed:

It wasn't some example of Early Episode Weirdness, either:

The only way I could be sold on something of this quality is if the entire series was revealed to have been an elaborate prank on Ellen (with lots of hidden camera footage of the cast and crew barely able to keep from cracking up as they tell her she looks good, is "definitely" a trans man, etc.).

 

[Foxymophandlemama]

As someone who read the comics before the show came out, I found Ellen being casted as Vanya so weird. I can't explain but her vibes don't really match the character.

There's a side story where she used to have a punk rock band with Diego, she had more personality than she did in the show.
Impresses me that Ellen didn't want to get her haircut on first season and chose to continue with long hair.

 

[pink cigarettes]

Close to You’s trailer came up on streaming the other day, and damn that was depressing.
She looks just awful and her whole sullen quirky tomboy appeal isn’t there anymore.
The movie in general looked painful and cliched (I thought movies about troon trauma were offensive?), she doesn’t look anything like she used to, if she had let herself age naturally as a woman it might not have been as dire, but then again the eating disorder.

Either way I can’t imagine anyone except the die hard troon community, and they might not watch it either because it looks like it sucks in general.

Ellen has fucked herself over so hard in getting work as an actor.

The diehard trans community mostly hates FTMs though, and within the FTM crowd they hate lesbian types. Nobody is going to see this piece of shit lol

She ever get her rotdog?

At first I thought she'd never do it because I figured she'd want to continue to be in lesbian relationships (regardless of what either person is pretending to be). But the more she talks about a past in which she was attracted to men (and therefore is now a "fag", eyeroll), I'm not so sure. She may go full pooner eventually.

It sounds like she's trying to deepen her voice by talking kind of from the bottom of her throat, which will do serious damage to her vocal cords if she does that for extended periods and probably even hurts like hell in the moment.

I'm sure some of it is from the troon juice she's shooting up, but oh man, if she's straining her voice she better knock it off. I saw a woman on TV once who had screwed up her voice so badly from trying to make it sound deeper that it was permanently damaged, and whenever she spoke she sounded like she was about to cry. It was very pronounced, like, she sounded always on the verge of tears. Ellen already has a whiny grating little bitch voice and looks like she's about to cry, so this would be next level

 

[batteredpancakes]

More Getty images. Too many to post so here's my favorites.


And there's this picture with the UA show runner who absolutely hates her

 

[The Ugly One]

He should have made her continue to play a female character in a wig and falsies.

 

[Slideshow Bill]

Spoiler: Talking to the Alien Cult

Yeah I went through a stage where I was interested in all these weird cults, and I saw their website was still up, they were polite but fairly suspicious at first, I guess they used to get a lot of people fucking with them and they were understandably paranoid about Feds.
Once they figured out I wasn't a cop and I wasn't judging them on their beliefs they opened up.
I never asked for the patch, I had a few email with them asking about their beliefs and about Ti and Do's mission (I called them that, I never called him Applewhite, when you're talking to lunatics you have to meet them on their level) they said it would be easier if they sent me his book, it had all the answers, I was in two minds about giving them my address but I decided fuck it, what can they do, send me pamplets? The Ody guys on the video are total dweebs, I didn't get the idea they were violent. I wouldn't have doxed myself to the Peoples Temple, Jim Jones's guys lol but those dudes are harmless.
When I got the book I had a cover letter from them saying they'd sent me the patch because I insisted on paying for the book after they wanted to send it free. I didn't want to owe them anything.
Strange people, definitely weird, but friendly enough.

Spoiler: More Alien Cult Sperging

I agree. They didn't seem violent, just lonely. They could have used some hot apple cider and a good walk in the woods, not interacting with a society that would shame them back into isolation, but enough to touch some actual fucking grass and get grounded. The People's Temple was just American Christianity gone bonkers. If they had access to your address, they would have never left you alone until one day they stop and you turn on the news and they're all dead in South America. If I could email Manson? Lmao. Just lmao. That'd be such a painful way to commit suicide.

As someone who read the comics before the show came out, I found Ellen being casted as Vanya so weird. I can't explain but her vibes don't really match the character.
View attachment 6318741View attachment 6318744
There's a side story where she used to have a punk rock band with Diego, she had more personality than she did in the show.
Impresses me that Ellen didn't want to get her haircut on first season and chose to continue with long hair.

Comic Vanya is more brooding, classy, elegant and emo and Ellen takes that brooding and emo and runs with it. If it were possible, I would have casted Winona Ryder or Leighton Meester (imagine Meester with a dark pixie cut and she's perfect). Vanya's incel boyfriend takes away from the interesting parts of her character that she willing became a supervillain to spite her family. The comics are a bit of a headache to get through. They're rushed and almost nonsensical.
Speaking of the comics, I wish that Allison had purple hair like she does in the comics. I don't care that she's black, I just hate her hair. It would have been an easy visual storytelling moment if a young Allison was talking about wanting purple hair and Reginald told her to shut the fuck up about impossible and silly things and then she looks him right in the eye and says "I heard a rumor that I had naturally purple hair". Reginald inspects her scalp and yes, her roots are now purple. It would show that she's a shitty superhero because she would rather use her, frankly overpowered, abilities to win petty arguments and shortcut her way through life instead of changing the world in a meaningful way.

 

[Procrastinhater]

If I could email Manson? Lmao. Just lmao. That'd be such a painful way to commit suicide.

Spoiler: Aliens, Hippies, and Sarin gas

I actually wrote to Charlie lol. He never wrote back so I don't know if he got it. Probably didn't write back because I'm not a woman sending him tit pics. He used to have weirdo murder groupies writing to him all the time.
Pity because he would have probably been the most interesting correspondent.
The Peoples Temple were just weirdo Christian fundies but they were also armed Marxists that murdered a Senator. They were long dead when I was talking to the Alien Cult anyway.
The one Cult I really wanted nothing to do with with was Aum Shinrikyo, those psychos that did that Sarin gas attack in Tokyo, they were fucking nuts and the type that would maybe really send someone after you if you fucked with them.

More Getty images. Too many to post so here's my favorites.
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View attachment 6319423View attachment 6319419View attachment 6319442
And there's this picture with the UA show runner who absolutely hates her
View attachment 6319420

The pics of her standing next to the other cast really hammer home how ridiculous she is.
Especially when they put her right next to that British dude that looks like he's 6'6".