Megathread SRS and GRS surgeons and associated horrors - the medical community of experimental surgeons, the secret community of home butchers

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Yep. Seeing the effect that a child's death has on parents - even if it was an accidental death, not a violent one or suicide etc - for years, for ever, after, makes you realise that no matter what, no matter how low and how terrified you feel, you really just Aren't Allowed to suicide, while you still have them living on the planet.

Regarding Gruffins appearence, she might have been able to disguise herself with a haircut and going full in with the makeup and styling herself cool if she remained presenting as a girl.
These things require a lot of consistent effort from the less fortunate gal.
I don't know if someone inclined to poonerism would bother with all that anyway, but being a balding "man" stripped any disguise away from her so her full dysgenicness had no shield or shade.
She didn't even have a "big Irish head" so much as she had a macrocephalic FAS balloon, like a literal pug, as in, 'my head makes up roughly a third of the size of my tiny frame U°°U"

Trauma also causes people to stay small.. Can't remember the ins and outs but do remember learning that fact in like, A Level psychology class.
It might be something to link in with the fact that all these pooners are fucking tiny way way too much to be a coincidence. Like they are the smallest of women.
I know that she started hormones quite young, like before she was fully physically mature, but was she also on puberty-blockers for awhile? In any case, such a massive amount of cross-sex hormones before somebody is fully grown can permanently fuck-up their growth and body proportions.

I think that is what is partially to blame for her odd appearance
 
She is a legitimate psychopath and incapable of empathy, which is a *great* quality for a doctor. She should have stayed here in Ireland where this shit still happens, but isn’t as pay-to-play as it is in the US.

But if we lived in a sane world, this monster would have been stripped of her license years ago.
Who the hell watches Nip/Tuck and says to themselves "I want to be a piece of shit coke addict doctor in a sleazy city" as a kid? She cites that show as her inspiration, which speaks volumes.

I think she loathes her form self and likes torturing TIFs for not figuring it out like she did. It could have been a cute story- plain Jane has a glow up, and through hard work and bootstrapping, she leaves her one horse town in Bumblefugh, Ireland. She starts a glamorous life in Miami as a plastic surgeon while the peers who bullied her live boring, Brigitte and Eamon lives. Disney movie.

But she's Shiv, so instead she's a demonic freak who preys on the unwell. She lives in a creepy apartment where everything is white, even her cat, like a mausoleum. Her sister lives in fear of her, probably.
 
I just dunno, kiwifams. Why do you follow this thread?
Late I know because I stopped reading 40 pages ago and not going to bother catching up because this thread derails badly at times. I’m a TERF so I just like to see what these money grabbers will do for their yachts.
ETA - this thread is educational.
Agreed
Gruffin has become my favorite cow of the year, because her case is so fucking horrifying and nightmare inducing I can't help but want to know how her saga will end
Well you know now. This young woman is dead and they aren’t disclosing whether she took her own life or had further issues. Guaranteed her failed phalloplasty was the reason though.
ETA: insurance was billed $670k for her GRS and subsequent surgeries.
 
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I have watched some of Buck Angel’s interviews with detransitioners. I found them interesting. I don’t understand how anyone can be AS contradictory as Buck, it’s kinda fascinating to watch. I find her worse than even Blaire White like that. The constant “No true Scotsman” defences these people pull constantly too.
Bucks focus seems to be firmly on leave the kids out of it, as does Blaires.
Both had the sense not to get stupid genital surgery.
They want to live their lives the way they do, as adults, with a compromised level of risk in terms of medical procedures.
Fair enough, it's their lives, and they are very straight up about surgeons promising impossible and dangerous shit to make money.
They are both good people and helpful to the cause of not being a totally divided troons V everyone else, by injecting some much needed nuance and variation into the cult like idea of "there is only One trans position".
The sheen of Buck Angel being 'The Good One' has waned for me. Especially with this case of her plundering "heckin' trans murder site" for YouTube content while changing the pronouns feels very grifty and disingenuous. Not to mention of her past inconsistencies where she'd flip out when people call her a woman, and her insistence that she transitioned to be 'male', while at the same time saying that she'd be fine when people misgender her.

While her stance against trans surgery is admirable... At glance, but a lot of 'good old school truscum' stance is looking more like a damage control attempt than any genuine criticism each days. Michelle Alleva (a detransitioner) has laid it out here. This is as if you're telling kids that they shouldn't be doing drugs while having a crack pipe in your mouth. The only good thing about them is that for regular people not neck deep in the discourse, they'd find dissident trans voice more authoritative. These people just want deranged troons to stop being deranged to keep the public image of transgenderism decent enough so they can keep smoking their metaphorical crack without people calling them out.


Not that I think other Michelle Alleva takes are good either - She has some issues too. But I think it's good that someone finally sees this hypocrisy.
 
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Well you know now. This young woman is dead and they aren’t disclosing whether she took her own life or had further issues. Guaranteed her failed phalloplasty was the reason though.
ETA: insurance was billed $670k for her GRS and subsequent surgeries.
I garunfuckingtee it wasn't suicide
Weird thing but when you are really really ill, the idea of hurting yourself is way beyond something you consider.
You don't have the get up and go to organise something painless like sourcing loads of painkillers ( and you can't start to slowly save like when people get a far off terminal diagnosis cos they keep getting swallowed up by your relentless pain) and even in that kind of death, the idea of failure and making yourself MORE ill is terrifying.
Something actually violent like hanging or wrist cut? Pffff no no no way that even comes to mind.

She 100percent just rotted through her kidneys, an absolutely horrible way to go. Probably spent at least a week in a coma at the end, hopefully not feeling anything.
 
I garunfuckingtee it wasn't suicide
Weird thing but when you are really really ill, the idea of hurting yourself is way beyond something you consider.
You don't have the get up and go to organise something painless like sourcing loads of painkillers ( and you can't start to slowly save like when people get a far off terminal diagnosis cos they keep getting swallowed up by your relentless pain) and even in that kind of death, the idea of failure and making yourself MORE ill is terrifying.
Something actually violent like hanging or wrist cut? Pffff no no no way that even comes to mind.

She 100percent just rotted through her kidneys, an absolutely horrible way to go. Probably spent at least a week in a coma at the end, hopefully not feeling anything.
Her obit literally said "passed away surrounded by his her loving family at UMASS Memorial Medical Center". I wish the Gruffin suicide rumor would just fucking die already. It's not what happened. I suspect we'll never get an exact cause of death, but it's not too much of a leap to assume the compounded effects of the cerebral hemorrhage and chronic kidney failure did her in.
 
Remember guys, they don’t operate on children, but if they do it’s lifesaving!

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I went to the thread to have a look and almost immediately decided to archive it. I think there are a lot of important things in here about trans regret (regretting medical transition), coping and detransioning.

Link to the original
Link to an archived version

To recap: OP is 17 years old, has been transitioning for three years (social transition), has been on testosterone for a year, had double mastectomy ("top surgery") three months ago.

She phrased the opening post like she is just questioning and isn't sure if she regrets her transition or not, but her replies to the comments make it pretty clear that she is totally regretting it and thinking about detransition. However, the thought of being a woman without boobs, with a man's voice and with excessive body/facial hair distresses her and makes her feel like a freak, so she is desperately trying to lie to herself that maybe this feeling of "I made a huge mistake" is temporary and will go away:

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the thing i’m most stressed about in the dream is retransitioning. the way i will look trying to go back. the fact ill have a males voice and hairy body and no boobs. honelsty i just feel like a monster.

I was thinking about what could have triggered this. it started after i healed from top surgery. And currently im having a lot of problems with friends as they are all girls and i get left out. Maybe it’s that? i also feel like no one will love me as im a guy with a vagina haha and probably would get more action as a girl as i was hot

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SirWigglesTheLesser:
Oh yeah getting left out from girl stuff is hard... I remember the first time I went to a con after my top surgery, and women were super cold to me. They were treating me like they would any strange man, but it felt awful and lonely.

Over time though I've managed to fill that gap with my current friends who are still mostly women. It's not the same at all, and I don't think we as a community talk about how isolating that can be, but you're definitely not alone in that.

I don't miss being seen as a girl, but I do miss the bathroom being social hour. I miss being able to compliment anyone I wanted without people raising their guard against me. I can still compliment random old ladies without suspicion though, so I cling to that.

You might not feel like you belong in your current community (friend group) but with time you will find your comfort in the group again and/or find more people you jive with.

And nothing is totally irreversible. Even if you don't have your factory installed boobs, there are aftermarket parts available.

No_Animator_1288 (OP, in reply):
haha that’s a funny way to say that but yeah i’m worried that i don’t know what’s causing these feeling. is just grief from missing out or do i still want to be a girl? yk and how do i figure that out

I want to highlight this part:
if you don't have your factory installed boobs, there are aftermarket parts available.
"You can always just transition back if you want! If you cut off you tits, you can always just have another surgery to get a new pair! No problem! There is no cause to regret".


Another redditor tries to convince OP that she can just go back, no problem, it's just another transition. She brings up an ex-pooner who is now identifying as "gender fluid" after years of identifying as trans man, obviously as a way to cope with the fact that she regrets her transitioning. A fine way to not be counted as a detransitioner. OP admits that she just wants to be the same as before she started transitioning.

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sadQWERTYman:
i just wanna say- what makes de/retransitioning any different from your initial transition? is it too late for trans women with flat chests to transition? was it too late for you to transition when you felt like you needed to?

its never too late. theres no shame in reinvention. very few detransitioners are your traditional FTMTF, some people just realize that “trans male” is just as restricting/suffocating as “cis woman”. sometimes people have entirely fixed and solid identities. others slide up and down the spectrum as time goes on. neither are shameful or wrong.

i would recommend mx morphling! they went off testosterone and began identifying as genderfluid after years of identifying as a binary trans man. they really helped me figure myself out as a feminine transmasculine person, maybe they can help you too! and they look absolutely amazing with a flat chest, even in fem clothes.

No_Animator_1288 (OP, in reply):
that’s always true, it is never too late and i don’t want what im about to say to be taken the wrong way but i just wish i dont have to transition again. i’m worried that having T in my system and surgery scars i wont be the same girl i was before. and i know its unrealistic to want that but thats what i want. and i dont think ill ever achieve that. the hair is here to stay as far as ive been told and i dont think its possible to grow back breast. But i will look into that youtuber and see if it can help me too. thank you for your advice


Another redditor fully admits she regrets her medical transition. She transition 10 years ago at 20 years old and started to feel regret two years ago. She never said it to anyone in real life though.

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I’m sorry you are feeling this way. I haven’t admitted it to anyone IRL, but if I had it to do over, I would probably not have medicalized.

I‘m a 30 year old balding trans man and currently mourning the fact that I can never give birth to a biological child of my own. I transitioned a decade ago and didn’t start feeling regret until about two years ago. I am starting to wish I had embraced my masc side when I was younger and could embrace my femme side now.

Took her 8 years to start feeling regret. Remember that every time trans activists cite studies with that check regret rate after a short period of time (i.e. a few months or a year). Also remember that she never said it to anyone in real life. Meaning, if she took a part in a study and were asked about it in a follow up questionnaires, she might have lied and said she doesn't feel regret. I'm sure there is a significant amount of cases like that. How reliable these studies are in determinate rates of regret for medical transitioning, if we see such things?

I know all of us who read this thread are already aware that the supposedly low regret rates are a huge lie when in comes to SRS, with all the "I can't pee normally, I'm shitting from my new vagina, I don't enjoy sex, I want to unalive myself but I don't regret anything" we see on a daily basis basically, but I want to draw attention to the fact that it happens with "top surgery" (of females) too, even if not to the same amount, for obvious reasons.

This one also regrets it, but copes by framing it like she is just transitioning to a new person again.

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im in a similar boat; three years into medical transition, recently ive been experimenting with being a girl again and although i dont regret taking t i know its just not for me anymore. i see it less as a regret but more as a new path in my life, its not detransitioning to me because im not trying to be the person i was pre t but rather im transitioning a second time into a different person and making new experiences. you should follow your heart and do what makes you happy, the rest of the changes you desire will come to you in time. sending love

To this the OP replays:

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i honelsty wish i could get a time machine and go back. i dont want to detransition because these effects are permanent. i do wish i could be like i used to be not someone knew but im too scared and disgusted about it to take those steps. it feels too hard and honelsty i might just be confused. I do wish you luck on your journey though

She fully regrets it. There is no doubt about it.


Another one regrets it, but decided to think of it differently because really, what can you do about? What's done is done.

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Yeah I’ve definitely had all these feelings and basically, maybe? But whether is a mistake or not a little it doesn’t matter, you e made the changes, and you’re always allowed to switch it up, I became significantly more androgynous and have been having fun experimenting with femme expression all while feeling way more comfortable with where my body is. Also also detransitioning is 100% an acceptable option as long as you don’t go around being mad at trans people

How many like that are there? "I don't regret anything I did in life because it made me who I am" sort of mentality, but in reality regret it, just can't cope with the feeling and the knowledge of what they have done to themselves?


This medical expert explains that the reason to these things is depression caused by the drop in estrogen levels. Her source? Herself, and also studies of women's mental health after double mastectomy. Apparently many women get depressed after they had to cut off their breasts due to cancer.

You would think, wouldn't you, that "cis" women getting depressed because they lost their boobs would be predictable and understandable, however so-called trans man (or "non-binary" people) who actually really wanted this, would be happy, or at least satisfied, not depressed and wondering if they did the right thing? The cope knows no bounds.

Note this pooner run a trans group and a few more other pooners confided in her that they felt depressed and have thoughts of regrets, but calm down some after she shared her cope with them.

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bnanzaz:
How did you feel throughout your transition? Did the changes make you happy at the time? Are these feelings new or did you have them throughout?

No_Animator_1288 (OP, in reply):
i only started feeling this way after fully healing from top surgery which was three months ago

Hypoplasia (in reply):
this might answer it. top surgery drops your estrogen levels drastically and that causes a hormonal imbalance not too different from postpartum depression. pretty much your head is not used to the lack of estrogen and is freaking out. this is quite common and happened to me and a few other friends! recognizing that it will go away and its a pretty common post top surgery thing should help

orzoftm (another pooner, in reply):
source? and 3 months seems long for post op depression but ik there’s not a ton of research

Hypoplasia (in reply):
source is personal exp. if you find some other stuff online yourself thatd be cool but i dont care too much to try and dig for it xD

orzoftm (in reply):
it makes sense to know about post op depression from personal experience but what led you to the conclusion that your brain is “freaking out” from lack of estrogen? did your surgeon tell you that? i had top surgery and haven’t heard that

Hypoplasia (in reply):
look up some info on double mastectomies and you might find better results since trans stuff is hardly reported on. my grandma had to take estrogen pills for a year after she had a double mastectomy due to cancer and she hit depression hard about 5 months after. my surgeon did prepare me for a depressive episode and asked if i wanted estrogen pills to help and i obviously said no. mine wasnt too bad and if i didnt know what was goin on i mightve thought "oh no did i make the wrong choice cause im super sad right now?" but was able to get through it knowing it was normal. of course theres also always a chance someone actually is going through something that they regret. i run my cities trans group of over 500 people in it so i honestly deal with a lot of people coming to me for advice and i have helped a few men through the depressive episode and they have said it got better after finding that out.

but yeah if youre interested i would stick to the mastectomy part and not the trans part to get some actual answers, sadly thats just how it is. hope this helps though

tl;dr: The regret rates after medical transition are lies. Many women do regret it but either don't tell anyone or find other ways to cope with it, effectively making them not detransioners. The real rates of regrets are probably much higher, but you need courage, some self reflection and sometimes, more time, to get there. We will probably see much higher rates of regrets in years to come, maybe a decade or two.
 
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Has Buck (lol) got a thread here? This thumbnail really struck me as looking 100% female, despite the cosplaying. Even in a splt second you wouldn't register her as male. On watching her videos she presents as a dyke with annoying vocal fry, but certainly not male/masculine or even transgender. She's getting more and more contrarian and pushing the "true trans" narrative, a lot of gatekeeping and handwaving about people she considers not being worthy of being in the OG trans club.
 
A young pooner has a hard time seeing light at the end of the tunnel…

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Young lady, you ain’t seen nothing yet!

Another crazy chick wants to over share about the classically male art of piss-milking:

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Get used to smelling like piss, hun!

And then comes the cope of course… In one case from a chick who gladly admits to having ZERO first hand experience but hey… There’s room for everyone aboard the good ship MS POONER COPE!
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Obligatory: BU-bu-but CIS men totally also do this!

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Not sure if these mentally disturbed women really believe that normal men have the faintest idea about what “piss milking” is but sure lady… Me giving my cock a shake, is totally the same as you sitting for 5-10 minutes trying to squeeze urine from your rotdog.
 
Well you know now. This young woman is dead and they aren’t disclosing whether she took her own life or had further issues. Guaranteed her failed phalloplasty was the reason though.
ETA: insurance was billed $670k for her GRS and subsequent surgeries.
Yes, I was hoping she would have a few more years :(
I'm almost sure she died because of the brain bleeding not suicide.
 
I garunfuckingtee it wasn't suicide


She 100percent just rotted through her kidneys, an absolutely horrible way to go. Probably spent at least a week in a coma at the end, hopefully not feeling anything.
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"She's experienced about as much pain and suffering as anyone I've encountered, give or take...and she still has Hell to look forward to."
 
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Has Buck (lol) got a thread here? This thumbnail really struck me as looking 100% female, despite the cosplaying. Even in a splt second you wouldn't register her as male. On watching her videos she presents as a dyke with annoying vocal fry, but certainly not male/masculine or even transgender. She's getting more and more contrarian and pushing the "true trans" narrative, a lot of gatekeeping and handwaving about people she considers not being worthy of being in the OG trans club.
Buck might be convincing in still images. But in motion or speaking she doesn't pass, way too feminine. It's like watching an auntie wearing a man skin.
 
Buck might be convincing in still images. But in motion or speaking she doesn't pass, way too feminine. It's like watching an auntie wearing a man skin.
Women who are addled up on testosterone and body-builds might have an easier time to "pass" casually for those not paying attention, but it's always ruined once they speak. The frog voice does not lie.
 
it's all about ... having things done to you.
pretty sure I've said this before in this thread, but it should be the most basic and intuitive thing that you shouldn't have to have surgery to alter your body in order to be your real self. it's just the most fucking retarded idea ever. oops, creation fucked up--let me find some human with a scalpel to put me right.
 
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"She's experienced about as much pain and suffering as anyone I've encountered, give or take...and she still has Hell to look forward to."
Oof what's that from?
The concept reminds me of that weird French film The Martys but it doesn't look like that, I can't remember it rly well tho
 
These gendershit ideologues pounce on these confused, often autistic, neurotic young girls with body image issues from puberty and gaslight them into thinking it's all because muh wrong gender, and that every issue they have is easily fixed with hormones and a scalpel, and then railroad them through the "transition" and surgery route so fucking quickly (seriously the speed some of them report, from initial consultation to booking surgery is shocking) before they have the chance to stop to think about what they're doing, and then, to the surprise of nobody, they start to have regrets and distress and questions after it's already too late.
Not that the gendershit industry cares, their goal is achieved, they've got their life long mark patients.
It's fucking sick.
 
These gendershit ideologues pounce on these confused, often autistic, neurotic young girls with body image issues from puberty and gaslight them into thinking it's all because muh wrong gender, and that every issue they have is easily fixed with hormones and a scalpel, and then railroad them through the "transition" and surgery route so fucking quickly (seriously the speed some of them report, from initial consultation to booking surgery is shocking) before they have the chance to stop to think about what they're doing, and then, to the surprise of nobody, they start to have regrets and distress and questions after it's already too late.
Not that the gendershit industry cares, their goal is achieved, they've got their life long mark patients.
It's fucking sick.
Reminds me of the mother who went undercover to show just how fast it is in some places despite her deliberately throwing up red flags each time. It took her less than a year to get approved with the Kaiser centre and booked in for everything, including phallo… and the troons cried that she was wasting resources and that it was too long.
Article
She went undercover as non-binary.
“I was able to instantly change my medical records to reflect my new gender identity and pronouns. Despite never being diagnosed with gender dysphoria, I was able to obtain a prescription for testosterone and approval for a “gender-affirming” double mastectomy from my doctor. It took only three more months (90 days) to be approved for surgery to remove my uterus and have a fake penis constructed from the skin of my thigh or forearm. Therapy was never recommended.”
 
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