The officialsonichu.com website

[glue eater]

If he's getting married to actual human, the virgin a-log crying will be music to my ears. Oldfags remember how a-logs got butthurt when Chris lost his virginity, because they were still virgin, meaning the manchild beat them to it. Some even tried to frame it as Chris being a terrible person because he supports human trafficking, or something. Like lol, shut the fuck up and get a prostitute yourself if you're so mad.

 

[D is for Stupid]

How do you rebuild something that's melted?

In one of the items it was explained that they used some of the money from the insurance pay out to buy more legos to replaced the melted ones.

No one's money is safe when this mother fucker has it.

Edit:
Here's the explication:

https://officialsonichu.com/products/melted-school

 

[A Grey Cat]

shut the fuck up and get a prostitute yourself if you're so mad

They would but with a prostitute it's: in, pay, condom on, wahm lbam thank you goodbye ma'am.


Like chris himself the alogs don't just want the Ole in out in out. They want someone to pat them on the back and say we love you, kiss and hug them, be all "comfort mommy" one second THEN a horny as hell sex kitten after they've had a good cry.

 

[Ammyterasu]

Let's say, for shit and giggles, that he really and legally marries someone. From what I understand he's going to lose all of his tugboat since he got it through Bob's job and not himself working at least 10 years, is that right?

 

[King Kiwi]

Let's say, for shit and giggles, that he really and legally marries someone. From what I understand he's going to lose all of his tugboat since he got it through Bob's job and not himself working at least 10 years, is that right?

God the perfect Christmas gift.

This might be better in random thoughts and questions though.

 

[LargeChoonger]

He claims to be getting married.

Has Flutter really been taking his Bent Duck this whole time?

Relevant screencaps and archive link for those of you who don’t want to give him clicks. Forgive my mobilefaggotry.
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Minor edit: thumbnails is hard

The autism was a hinderance

 

[Why am I doing this?]

The Commonwealth of Virginia when you rape your own mom:

The Walt Disney Corporation when you take Mickey Mouse's name in vain:


I'm not hopeful, but there's a tiny chance this could turn out really funny.

 

[giga sapling]

He claims to be getting married.

Has Flutter really been taking his Bent Duck this whole time?

Relevant screencaps and archive link for those of you who don’t want to give him clicks. Forgive my mobilefaggotry.
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Minor edit: thumbnails is hard

This reads like a deranged schizophrenic manifesto, Chris is running out of things he can steal from real life to put into his perverted world. He is one missed medication dose, or his handlers abusing him from catastrophe. I agree with the sentiment that the end is near.

 

[Second-Hand Boat Supplies]

I’ve maintained since pre-jail saga that something like this is the only way for the Chris story to progress in a potentially entertaining way. Chris himself can’t get more pathetic or schizophrenic in a way that isn’t simply sad or repetitive but others can become meta lol-cows. There’s something deeply funny watching people repeatedly try to spin the failings of history’s least successful man into their own ticket to success.

 

[Pickle Inspector]

This is one of the more interesting and disturbing things Chris came up with post-jail; an explanation for himself on why he has memories of doing what he did to Barb while also claiming innocence. That another Chris in another universe did it and he only has those memories because [insert god complex/multiverse/merge shit here]. I do wonder if he has actually deluded himself into believing he's innocent, considering his current mental state.

Reading between the lines maybe Chris initially didn't realise what a big mistake he had made (At first dropping hints to Null about who it was he had been sleeping with and that kind of thing) and after he was exposed he claimed he was actually healing his mother and extending her life and since Chris was in jail at the time (IIRC) and didn't see the immediate response that nobody was buying it he carried on saying that for a while in the jail letters until it just became 'never happened..in this dimension..'.

He might be trying to delude himself but given his past live reaction when the event is brought up I don't think it's working too well.

> selling copyrighted bootleg CDs
> "activate windows"

Get this man to download FL Studio, I want to see him enter the nigger rap game hustle arc.

Maybe it's my general dislike of the genre in the modern era but outside of increased production values (And autotune) I don't see much difference between old Chris and modern Kayne West aside from the content of Chris's songs being antithesis of what those audiences want (Sex, drugs, money and generally bigging themselves up).

 

[Zeus Blue Thunder]

Quick question to y'all.
How should this whole deal be handled.
Do we just observe this thing, or do we take action and actually report it to the right folk?
I am asking because I have no idea how Kiwi would react to this sorta thing.

 

[TaterBot]

Nah you know.

 

[King Kiwi]

Quick question to y'all.
How should this whole deal be handled.
Do we just observe this thing, or do we take action and actually report it to the right folk?
I am asking because I have no idea how Kiwi would react to this sorta thing.

Report what? Pirated CDs from 20 years ago?

Who exactly do you expect to report this to?

Even if you did, what do you expect done?

This isn't the year 2000 and Napster, this is a 42 year old washed up has been selling his trash on a shitty website for outrageous prices even if he was the most famous person in the world.

 

[themarchivist2]

> selling copyrighted bootleg CDs
> "activate windows"

Get this man to download FL Studio, I want to see him enter the nigger rap game hustle arc.

Chris writing music is imo one of the only criminally unexplored aspects of his cowdom left. His shitty rewrites of songs (at least, when he's not trying to be funny) remain some of his funniest bullshit to this day. The idea of Chris actually trying to write a song with backing track and all is fucking hilarious to me. If Praetor made Chris write and record an album/EP with a cheapo DAW he has no experience in, that alone would take them out of the shit tier of trolls for me.

 

[Zeus Blue Thunder]

Report what? Pirated CDs from 20 years ago?

Who exactly do you expect to report this to?

Even if you did, what do you expect done?

This isn't the year 2000 and Napster, this is a 42 year old washed up has been selling his trash on a shitty website for outrageous prices even if he was the most famous person in the world.

Considering that we have Disney, Warner Bros, RCA and many others in here, it could be the case.
Plus, he is selling them on the internet now.
This is probably the most serious shit Chris did online.

 

[King Kiwi]

Considering that we have Disney, Warner Bros, RCA and many others in here, it could be the case.
Plus, he is selling them on the internet now.
This is probably the most serious shit Chris did online.

Okay, but can we call this the Pirate Saga? Commercialized Saga just doesn't have the same ring.

 

[Pickle Inspector]

Such beautiful fan art:

I‘m not sure if Caden or whoever made the fan art section is trying to troll Chris or maybe just doesn’t think anyone will actually look at the section since there’s stuff like:

Sonichu vore:

Possibly Pender’s style Sonichu:

Fanta reference:

And other fun oddities:

As well as some random furries


And for some reason Tails dressed as Santa:

 

[A Grey Cat]

Caden was formerly a member of prateor right? That group at times did feel like they were mocking Chris and dumbass was too dense to realize it. From the try hard opening to their sermon they rented an empty room for Chris to give It to the sonichu animated opening ILJ made to now this. Caden letting people spam a fan art section with everything but the obvious drawings people want to submit.

 

[D is for Stupid]

Report what? Pirated CDs from 20 years ago?

Who exactly do you expect to report this to?

Ascap, the largest performing rights organization, sued the girl scouts of America for fees and not having song rights to perform them at a camp for nor teach little girls in how to cover them on guitar.

They learned from that pr nightmare but for someone to sell them for $85-100 is s major difference.

It's not the labels, it's ascap that Sue to make sure the artist are paid.

 

[bush911]

Like chris himself the alogs don't just want the Ole in out in out. They want someone to pat them on the back and say we love you, kiss and hug them, be all "comfort mommy" one second THEN a horny as hell sex kitten after they've had a good cry.

literally me

Ascap, the largest performing rights organization, sued the girl scouts of America for fees and not having song rights to perform them at a camp for nor teach little girls in how to cover them on guitar.

They learned from that pr nightmare but for someone to sell them for $85-100 is s major difference.

It's not the labels, it's ascap that Sue to make sure the artist are paid.

Imagine being so greedy you sue little girls for singing Taylor Swift songs.