Nicholas Robert Rekieta / Rekieta "Law" / Actually Criminal / @NickRekieta - Polysubstance enthusiast, "Lawtuber" turned Dabbleverse streamer, swinger, "whitebread ass nigga", snuffs animals for fun, visits 🇯🇲 BBC resorts. Legally a cuckold who lost his license to practice law. Wife's bod worth $50. The normies even know.

[AnOminous]

like most things nick is wrong about, the case is neither as interesting nor difficult as he is pretending it is.

Nick has one of the worst cases of Main Character Syndrome I've ever seen, and cocaine amplifies that exponentially.

To any normal person, it just looks like yet another drug addict loser lawyer, and yes, there are many, who got caught with a bunch of booger sugar, a whore, his side whore, and a house full of guns and kids. Other than it being a McMansion this is every episode of COPS where they're rousting out some white trash from a trailer while he yells "I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA!"

Nick thinks this is super special and super exciting for one reason, and that's because it's Nick in it.

To be fair, I think we agree on this thread that the only reason this absolutely run-of-the-mill case is remotely interesting and HILARIOUS is specifically because it's Nick, but not because he's the hero of the scenario.

He may be the "main character" and the only reason there's so much Internet interest, but it's not a Shakespearean tragedy. It's a Punch and Judy show.

 

[bookers]

In his recent totally not forced to rehabilitation cope stream he talked about relapse and prolapse,

wonder who in the house has a prolapse?
what kind of objects is nick putting in his butt?

 

[AltisticRight]

what kind of objects is nick putting in his butt?

It's a mystery, because Malaysian Airlines is still trying to find MH370 in there.

 

[Popper Whiting]

Nick has one of the worst cases of Main Character Syndrome I've ever seen, and cocaine amplifies that exponentially.

To any normal person, it just looks like yet another drug addict loser lawyer, and yes, there are many, who got caught with a bunch of booger sugar, a whore, his side whore, and a house full of guns and kids. Other than it being a McMansion this is every episode of COPS where they're rousting out some white trash from a trailer while he yells "I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA!"

Nick thinks this is super special and super exciting for one reason, and that's because it's Nick in it.

To be fair, I think we agree on this thread that the only reason this absolutely run-of-the-mill case is remotely interesting and HILARIOUS is specifically because it's Nick, but not because he's the hero of the scenario.

He may be the "main character" and the only reason there's so much Internet interest, but it's not a Shakespearean tragedy. It's a Punch and Judy show.

It is the Basil Fawlty effect. Things are a hell of a lot funnier when it involves an unlikeable and out of touch buffoon who is completely at odds with reality and over-estimates their own competence. The fall of Nick Rekeita has all of this, and that is what makes it more of a comedy than a tragedy.

 

[Mouse Cop]

I'm pretty sure the Mexican city Ralph lives in is better than Tijuana.

Ralph recently announced that he is moving to Tijuana.

Anyone want to be roommates with the gunt?
View attachment 6450636

 

[Not Who You Think]

So now you're saying we need confirmation from Drexel too on how much teeth Nick uses when sucking cock?

Fun Disturbing Fact: Kayla knows all about teeth on Drexel's penis...

Spoiler: First click the title, then decide if you want to read this.

During a stream on October 28th 2022 Kayla was unable to keep up with the terms Nick and the others were using. Nick brings up teeth and after an uncomfortable silence, Kayla brings up the only thing she knows: teeth on Drexel's penis.

A woman bit Drexel there, and according to his girlfriend at the time, it left a permanent scar. He even came over to the Rekieta's house to tell them all about it afterward.

Kayla also feels bad for not being sexually attracted to Drexel. She goes on about this at length, probably not remembering the "goooood conversation" she had with her bestie cousin where she called him an "Adontis" (sexy man).

Also, say hi to Sean and Divinity.

 

[Dr. Jaime Reyes]

View attachment 6450926
Bizarro Ralph and Drexel are live laughing at Rekeita. Rekeita's misfortunes always bring a smile to people's faces.

Is that Star Trek shirt a little wink and a nod to the haters?

A majority of women under 40 have tattoos are women collectively low Intelligence human garbage?

Making stupid, permanent decisions based on trends or crowd-following is just a uniquely female form of retardation, much as being so consumed with the need to fuck that you're willing to cram your scrotum into a plastic torture device in order to do it is a male one.

 

[Honka Honka Burning Love]

I missed the part where that started, thanks. Is there some kinda cracker word magic that makes that word make sense or?

First we had Samuel L Jackson screaming "BLACK GIRL MAGIC"

Now we have Kalya Rekeita screaming "CRACK GIRL MAGIC"

 

[TexOffender]

Ryan Kinnel superchatting during trashcast about Nick.

Edit: Nevermind, it's not really Ryan but EVS did talk about it for a bit.

 

[Captain Manning]

Ralph recently announced that he is moving to Tijuana.

Oh, good! Nick can have a roommate then.

Gonna be hell on his "heat allergy" though. He'll also have to share April with Ralph. Hope she can stomach that.

 

[AltisticRight]

I suppose the Uncivil Law Kurt bridge incineration is more than official at this point. Uncivil Law was mocking the shit out of skelly in this stream from earlier in the day.
I forgot to screenshot anything but he got a few funny jabs in. Balldo was lamenting that having cocaine doesn't mean he's a user and Kurt's response was "so it's decorative cocaine? You just look at it?"
Nice turn of events.

 

[not william stenchever]

on a scale of Balldo to Ricardo, how hard?

RiKruppdo steel plate. Standard armor plating for the Kaiser's Kucksmarine

 

[AnOminous]

Ralph recently announced that he is moving to Tijuana.

That's amazing. He's so poor he had to live in Mexico at all. What a loser.

But he was at least living in one of the nicest places in Mexico, in Merida, which is more like a suburb of a typical American hellhole city than a real Mexican city.

But now he's so poor he has to live in one of the shittiest, stabbiest, most murderous cities in the Third World Mexican cityscape.

And he's begging for a roommate because he can't even afford an apartment in a notoriously shitty Third World city. Tijuana. Known for murder. Known for being run by drug cartels. And he's a known whore addict, addicted to a product controlled by Mexican cartels, the most evil and sadistic in the world.

Imagine the kind of person who would sign up to be the roommate, sharing a fucking APARTMENT, with this dying rage pig, and share his space full of piss bottles. He'll either get nobody, or he'll get somebody who makes him regret the day he was born.

The Tijuana phase of Ralph's existence has a high chance of resulting in his death. Maybe even in a highly entertaining cartel video!

 

[datura_binge]

i assume the penalty/sentencing for each option will be basically

Maybe I am off base but if he makes them go to trial and wastes everybody's time like this, i really feel like the penalty is going to be a lot harsher than it might have been with a plea.

 

[AnOminous]

Maybe I am off base but if he makes them go to trial and wastes everybody's time like this, i really feel like the penalty is going to be a lot harsher than it might have been with a plea.

It's still probably (according to the sentencing guidelines) a suspended sentence. But a suspended sentence with lots of behavioral restrictions. And Nick, rage twig that he is, is utterly incapable of following rules or behaving like an actual human.

Me? Obey rules?

 

[3MMA]

what kind of objects is nick putting in his butt?

This:

Definitely this. The balldo is it for Nick.

 

[AltisticRight]

View attachment 6456308

Ryan Kinnel superchatting during trashcast about Nick.

Edit: Nevermind, it's not really Ryan but EVS did talk about it for a bit.

I looked at the image and had to think whether this was Patrick Melton (NLO), Vaedophile or EVS.
They all look the same. Fat nonce physiognomy.

 

[AnOminous]

This:
View attachment 6456480
Definitely this. The balldo is it for Nick.

That's for his CBT though. He can't penetrate himself with his own balls. He needs Negro penises for that.

 

[Owlbear]

It's still probably (according to the sentencing guidelines) a suspended sentence. But a suspended sentence with lots of behavioral restrictions. And Nick, rage twig that he is, is utterly incapable of following rules or behaving like an actual human.

Me? Obey rules?
View attachment 6456473

Knowing nothing about criminal law, I would assume the deal on offer was a 2-year suspended sentence (plus some cash - you have to generate revenue), but he will have to keep completely clean during that time. The guideline sentence is 5 years, so 2 seems like the compromise. Do you think this is off-base?

I would sort of have assumed that the first deal offered was probation + rehab and it's escalated since then.

 

[Third World Aristocrat]

I forgot to screenshot anything but he got a few funny jabs in. Balldo was lamenting that having cocaine doesn't mean he's a user and Kurt's response was "so it's decorative cocaine? You just look at it?"
Nice turn of events.

Kurt had some funny jokes recently. I laughed during his stream with Nate when he joked that polysubstance abuse might not be the only ‘poly-’ thing in Nick’s life