Patrick Sean Tomlinson / @stealthygeek / "Torque Wheeler" / @RealAutomanic / Kempesh / Padawan v2.5 - "Conservative" sci-fi author with TDS, armed "drunk with anger management issues" and terminated parental rights, actual tough guy, obese, paid Quasi, paid thousands to be repeatedly unbanned from Twitter

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An update on the forthcoming sfwa story:
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:story: pat claims to be a successful father :story:
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Another patposter is born. The guy was replying to a “republicans spend so much money targeting the trans and they’re only 1% of the population” tweet, and Pat jumped in to defend those poor brickhons. Very masculine and heterosexual behavior, child.
 
An update on the forthcoming sfwa story:
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:story: pat claims to be a successful father :story:
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Another patposter is born. The guy was replying to a “republicans spend so much money targeting the trans and they’re only 1% of the population” tweet, and Pat jumped in to defend those poor brickhons. Very masculine and heterosexual behavior, child.

Obviously there are many examples of this recently.
Is it just me or has the phenomena of innocent civilians being caught in the crossfire between Pat and the Pests dramatically increased since he paid Quasi?

Or is it because he also appeared to change his number around that time, leading to the drop off in Pat responding seriously to insane sms?
So more of this particular Pat content has been highlighted.

It seems like the pests are actually fucking with him less, but he is assuming random people are pests and therefore stalker children a lot more.

Correct me if I’m wrong. But it has appeared to be like this since Quasi received his money.
 
Obviously there are many examples of this recently.
Is it just me or has the phenomena of innocent civilians being caught in the crossfire between Pat and the Pests dramatically increased since he paid Quasi?

Or is it because he also appeared to change his number around that time, leading to the drop off in Pat responding seriously to insane sms?
So more of this particular Pat content has been highlighted.

It seems like the pests are actually fucking with him less, but he is assuming random people are pests and therefore stalker children a lot more.

Correct me if I’m wrong. But it has appeared to be like this since Quasi received his money.
Owen still fucks with him but Patposting has become more mainstream this year thanks to Cryptic Web Chronicles and people within his (former) industry speaking out against him. Instead of people listening to Patrick's false narrative about a clandestine terrorist group attacking him for no reason, there are other resources that accurately yet hilariously highlight how toxic he is and how he has caused of 99% of his own problems.
 
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Obviously there are many examples of this recently.
Is it just me or has the phenomena of innocent civilians being caught in the crossfire between Pat and the Pests dramatically increased since he paid Quasi?
lol he will never let that go. The pests have been Johnny on the spot with the police reports lately and lore dumps at the first sign of trouble. I love those “oh you’re so gullible” posts lol when if the fat idiot could control himself long enough, most of the people who turn on him wouldn’t even care or acknowledge the pests. Pats initial hostility gives them a reason to confirm their bias that he’s an idiot/blowhard. Plus with the election coming up every news cycle is serious business and Pat can’t miss an opportunity to no, child the people ruining our democracy!!
 
He actually is making me think more and more of a proto-cow from a forum I posted on years ago.

Britbong kiwis may remember the Chav Zeitgeist in roughly 2003-2006.
There was a forum named chavscum.co.uk, which to briefly explain became a sounding board for people terrified of teenagers in tracksuits and Burberry caps.

Glossing over the TLDR and “you had to be there” lore, there was one outspoken critic of these teens known as Robfalcon.

Like Pat he was utterly blind to his own illiteracy and limitations, thinking he was actually quite a smart and worldly guy, with writing talent and a witty take on society.

He was in actual fact a dumb fucker who over shared, worked in a petrol(gas) station until he got fired for stupidity and wound up working at a supermarket which he later complained about being bullied by co workers.

He attempted to write sci fi and made films with his toys.


This is the only surviving one I can find as if I recall correctly, he had been banned from YouTube, tried to make a new account but got that one banned to.
The voice over isn’t him, it’s someone who found him infuriatingly stupid.

Obviously he was less successful by many metrics than Fatrick. But the similarities are in his combination of firmly believing himself to be superior to others, despite objectively being a fucking loser by society standards.

Succinctly:

Robfalcon got a single GCSE, E or D grade. He thought that not being entered for all but one was a kind of boast.

Still lived with his parents in his childhood bedroom and had all of his children’s toys well into his 30s.

Wrote “short stories” which were his half remembered transcribed role playing games sessions with his friends.

Had a homepage which he detailed falling off his bike hard headfirst into a wall and was tied to a tree and slapped by other children.

Basically even by Rick’s standards, Robfalcon was a failed loser.

The only way I think Robfalcon is possibly “better” than Rick is that Robfalcon hasn’t managed to generate an enormous Twitter hate following.
 

Oh good, I'm glad he decided to use the beautiful weather to drink fatly by himself on the beach (again). Instead of, you know, putting up that anti-Craigslist fence he keeps talking about. I drink when and where I want, stalker.
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Even Pat knows from experience it's not that hard. You just have to get a permit and put it up facing the correct way.
 
Why wait until spring? Weather is fine now. Install the fence now, Piggy. Unless... your broke fat ass cannot afford to install it now. Idiot could always put up a few signs warning the craigslisters. Naw, that would be using his brains.

He's probably counting on a win against the city to get the money to spruce things up, maybe rebuild that garage to finally protect *susan* against the elements. Future classic indeed. The judge should be issuing his ruling at some point. Before the election or after? Which would desolate the Piggy and his slattern more?
 
There was a forum named chavscum.co.uk, which to briefly explain became a sounding board for people terrified of teenagers in tracksuits and Burberry caps.

Glossing over the TLDR and “you had to be there” lore, there was one outspoken critic of these teens known as Robfalcon.
i really enjoyed this cozy tale and the ancient youtube video. for anyone who was around the internet pre-social media (let alone in the usenet days), there were so many strange, anomalous "communities" (mostly forums or bulletin boards) that went from being random collections of people ostensibly sharing some interest into heavily powerleveled little social scenes. and all of them -- ALL of them -- had lolcows, altho nobody had that terminology back then. there were just weird, creepy, embarassing and/or annoying personalities that people in those "communities" dealt with in various ways. it was an innocent time.

fatrick was probably making himself insufferable in some long-vanished mechwarrior board and/or "writer's forum" or just alt.fags.scifi or whatever, under a "cool" nickname...
 
fatrick was probably making himself insufferable in some long-vanished mechwarrior board and/or "writer's forum" or just alt.fags.scifi or whatever, under a "cool" nickname...
Lest you forget, those boys flew in the mud over his house when he was working on the roof with his dad or whatever bullshit story he told on some early Internet aviation forum.
 
Voting is fake and gay like santa and fatrick sells his wifes body for food money. He also sells his fat ass and face hole to strangers by the hour. Any talk of "insurance sales" is a conspiracy theory.
No, child. He doesn't sell any of his holes. He throws their access at any man even remotely willing. This is why your gay sex life is already over. Enjoy (probably) having virgin holes.
If you have better math or better numbers, share them. You're blustering like Fatrick and this isn't the first time you've done that. Present your information or shut the fuck up.
Please be nice to the kitty.
Some former and current - for now - civilians on the pleasures of interacting with Pat:
"He's basically a bobblehead with flat man titties..."

Jesus fucking.....how the fuck is it that random ass civilians become not just patposters, but fucking good patposters within like 10 minutes of encountering him online?
Two more stalker childs committing Felony Wife Awakening and Aggravated Felony Rib Destruction. They will enjoy many years in prison. I will enjoy a night sleeping on the couch.
Indeed. He is the CEO of being fat
Wrong as always, child. He is the warden of Stalker Childs Penitentiary. You will, uh, enjoy an all expenses paid stay there.
Wrong in every last detail as always, stalker. He is the CFO (Chief FAT Officer). Enjoy prison.
I'm sorry you're so spot-on with this one, child.
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Thank you, @GenCon! My little brother was really excited about the balloon mech you had on display. He's into balloons and mechs.
What is with him and always choosing the least flattering eye wear possible? Does he goes online and search for whatever makes him look most like a moody, obese lesbian?
 
Queen Leslie still makes an angry piggy seething all-day long and make him spew out like a schizo.
Queen Leslie may be strong, but she's even better when she combines her powers with the rest of the Funsters Planeteers against Hoggish Greedly:

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The Power is Yours!
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Hoggish Greedly is one of the Eco-Villains and the first villain Captain Planet and the Planeteers encounter in the series. Greedly represents overconsumption and greed.

Greedly has an animal-like appearance and tendencies, largely resembling a hog (which is an adult pig). Greedly makes references to this himself upon occasion, comparing himself to bacon or pork, usually prompted by Captain Planet: "He can still fry our chops."

Greedly has a wild and snorting laugh, which continues on for several seconds. He also snorts and grumbles when he is afraid or panicked
["Nham nham nham you sound like you've got peanut butter in your mouth, child!"]

Appearance

Greedly has pink skin, small, fanged teeth, and an upturned nose. He has a thin mohawk of reddish-brown hair on his head and pointed ears. He is incredibly fat, and is often found stuffing his face with any available food.
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As a sign of authority abuse, Greedly wears green military fatigues with combat boots, a leather webbing belt and his uniform topped off with a black-tie.

Personality

Like a pig, he loves to pollute, using his [Mother in Law's] vast wealth to acquire complex pig-themed polluting gadgets. He has a distorted sense of vanity (fat pride), and is an inveterate glutton, even eating a small fish that was originally destined as lunch to his henchman, after Greedly himself ate a big fish. He does not appear to be very brave - once Captain Planet [The Dan Man] arrives, he often resorts to begging or pleading, usually desperate to be saved from his own plan, which has backfired. ["Yes your honor, the MPD and Officer Lyndon Johnson will pay for their crimes!.... pardon me, did you say 'plaintiff acted on bad faith?' Sorry I can't hear you, there's a lot of steel in the Courtoom building "]

However, he throws his weight around [HA!] and can be very cruel as he has attempted to harm the Planeteers on more than one occasion.

"Your power's combined, I am Captain Planet!"
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"Shiiiet, where do I find this Gassy Ho' you talking about?"
 
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