- Joined
- Dec 31, 2023
Hopefully it doesn't take too long. We need to harvest his gunt to save Metokur.
🐷 Ethan Ralph's Twitter / Tweets - A collection of thoughts, insights and musings from the internet's favorite gunted hobbit
- Thread starter PhoBingas
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- Joined
- Dec 12, 2022
A "minor personality" who was the topic of tons of discussion online in the last 3-4 days because she was hired by the most prominent right-leaning think tank in America a couple days ago.
Top reply in the comments... Milo.
Is it your position that Ralph happened to stumble upon this person who had become relevant a day ago in a hours-long goon session, even though he specifically said he was tipped off to it, and Milo is running with the story hard on his own account, making it seem pretty clear where it came from?
The crippled shit should have been featured, this is like when Ralph made up that the guy in the Alex Rosen sting who brought up Kino Casino was their top paypig. Yes, Ralph broke a story. No, he didn't really have anything to do with it. He was fed the info and if he gooned to it, it was after he found out who it was.
Airstrip One
kiwifarms.net
- Joined
- Aug 12, 2024
Does Ralph's radial nerve damage really amount to nothing more than a tragic accident? Or, could it be a flourishing example of how evolutionary forces exert an influence over biological organisms, in order to enact speculative physiological changes? In the words of Dr Ian Malcolm, is this one of those instances where “life finds way?” We will have to wait for him to publish his extensive research around this topic. Until then, anything I could write would be nothing more than conjecture, unsupported by the scientific method.
In the interim, imagine the Jurassic Park theme rising to an orchestral swell as Ethan Ralph, having been roofied by the same laws of natural selection that were identified by Charles Darwin, awakens in an airport and proceeds to stumble around, with his gunted arm dangling by his side, in a state of abject porcine distress.
While unconscious, he has intuitively achieved what ardent masturbators describe as the 'stranger' – a condition of numbness in the hand that can convey the impression that an act of onanism is in fact a hand-job, albeit one that is being administered by a kindly old man, with a weakening grip and a trembling sense of rhythm and coordination.
However, even this comparison does not do Ethan Ralph's achievement full justice. Not only has he achieved 'the stranger' but he has refined it, causing nerve damage sufficient to elevate this mysterious agent of left-handed love from mere stranger to long-term house-guest. Where he has failed to attract a mate for himself, evolutionary forces have stepped in and provided him with one. Not just any mate but a facsimile of the kind of woman who Ralph could realistically expect to attract – one who has been numbed by the ministrations of her pimp into a stupor, deep enough for her to stomach the various strong odours and attendant indignities that are part and parcel of being sexually penetrated by the Rage Pig. He has made for himself a subservient hand skank who will do his filthy bidding without question.
So, in the final analysis, Ethan Ralph wins again. Cope and sneed, Kiwi Farms. Cope and sneed.
- Joined
- May 9, 2023
Isn't that Colin Wright's girlfriend?
- Joined
- Jul 11, 2022
Where's the world's tallest pig currently?
We need a picture of Ralph standing next to a pig that he's only 2 inches taller than.
- Joined
- Nov 14, 2012
yes, that is my position, that the man who has been obsessed with interracial pornography his entire life recognized a person trending on twitter while jerking off. retard cunt.
- Joined
- Dec 12, 2022
The fuck you mean? He watched a BBC bull plow some tradthot, and during the post nut clarity, realized "HEY, I KNOW THAT BISH"! Peak Ralphamale comedy.
FiveStarAce
kiwifarms.net
- Joined
- Jan 11, 2023
Finally, the 50 Tabs of interracial cuck porn can be written off as political investigation. Total gunt Ventilation.
- Joined
- Aug 16, 2019
Personally I’ll agree with it because it’ll make Ralph mad at the feature and he’ll loosely shake a pill bottle in rage and struggle to get the cap off
- Joined
- Feb 6, 2021
WHADDAFACK KEWEEFERMS!?!??!? AH GOT FEETURED ON 'ERE AGAIN!?!??! HAWDAT PASSIBOH BISH!?!?!? CURSE YEW AYYLAWGS END JAWSHUA MOOOOON!!!!!! Bettah take 'dem pills again end own dem ayylawgs and Nool again, bish! Mark mah words!Merida? He hasn't moved to Tijuana yet
- Joined
- Feb 6, 2021
Piggertits tries to get Juju's attention.
baht whai doh hoe, ahl ah kno dat yew slay dat shit doe queen 
yew goh mah nigga even doe ah liv in mehriduh end its hell lawd
PAY ATTENTIAHN!!! PAY ATTENTIAHN!!!
new yurkh iss evil bish yew aint convinse me bish
good fo dat ho ah betta pill and binge drinkin mo' tu celebrate widdout carin fo da chald suppoht end faith yeahhhhhhh
Would
kiwifarms.net
- Joined
- Aug 30, 2020
Wasn't Ralph trying to grift as a conservative years ago too? What's his point; that conservatives/rightoids are liars and hypocrites who like hedonism just as much as leftoids?
FFS, the RNC had Amber Rose and Brandi Love as guest stars; two prominent super whores who love nigger cock. Christina is small time by comparison. ShoeOnHead is a bigger "star" than her and she also leans right and fucks niggers. It's a given at this point that most American women love niggers.
BTW was he gooning to IR porn?
FFS, the RNC had Amber Rose and Brandi Love as guest stars; two prominent super whores who love nigger cock. Christina is small time by comparison. ShoeOnHead is a bigger "star" than her and she also leans right and fucks niggers. It's a given at this point that most American women love niggers.
BTW was he gooning to IR porn?
Douglas Mortimer
kiwifarms.net
- Joined
- Jul 4, 2022
I love how desperate that candy reply is to diddler dax. He wants to make sure he comes on for that election stream so badly.View attachment 6590983
Piggertits tries to get Juju's attention.
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- Joined
- Sep 27, 2023
Piggy is still less pathetic than Nick Rekieta since at least he bothered to do something today. Nick didn't lmfao.
That's the point we're reaching here, where there are actual sektur personalities below the gunt. God help us all.
I wonder what the odds are of some cheap Mexican butcher actually fucking up that surgery and leaving the pig with one less working hoof.
That's the point we're reaching here, where there are actual sektur personalities below the gunt. God help us all.
I wonder what the odds are of some cheap Mexican butcher actually fucking up that surgery and leaving the pig with one less working hoof.
Left Ass Cheek
kiwifarms.net
- Joined
- Jan 30, 2021
He's always gooning to IR porn. The real question is whether or not he recognized her before the goon sesh started or after the deed was done.BTW was he gooning to IR porn?
holyhandgrenade
kiwifarms.net
- Joined
- Nov 6, 2023
imma b honest fam u know how many gazillion hours of interracial buggery on da intertubes? it seems very unlikely
porkWellington
kiwifarms.net
- Joined
- Jan 7, 2024
Goon detective aside, it's funny Ralph's posting his surgery shit to shitter. Jim did it because everything he was describing was wild and I think it was legit for people to doubt initially. Nobody doubted Ralph, he just did it. Does he think some senorita is gonna see it and give him pity puss puss?
- Joined
- Feb 9, 2021
"Interracial whores, please respond!"
Holy shit history does rhyme.
Catboy Ranch Dressing
The Valley isn't the only thing that's Hidden.
True & Honest Fan
kiwifarms.net
- Joined
- Feb 2, 2023
Step aside, Cum Detective Fuentes. We have Interracial Investigator Ralph.