Nicholas Robert Rekieta / Rekieta "Law" / Actually Criminal / @NickRekieta - Polysubstance enthusiast, "Lawtuber" turned Dabbleverse streamer, swinger, "whitebread ass nigga", snuffs animals for fun, visits 🇯🇲 BBC resorts. Legally a cuckold who lost his license to practice law. Wife's bod worth $50. The normies even know.

[Catgirl Tyranid]

How much alchohol could be derived from a single Dorito then?

Assuming all the carbs were sugar (they're not) and a very efficient auto-brewery gut biome (it wouldn't be), a single Dorito could produce UP TO 1/5 of an ounce of alcohol.

 

[Vibralldo]

Nick claiming he is getting a good deal, but then admitting likely no booze and drugs for a few years, which was realistically the maximum he was gonna get.

Nick is bending the knee to the state and is taking the sentencing guideline deal, while passing it off as a victory.

Took Ralph like a week to take the deal on his case

Imagine a lawyer being so bad he has less legal sense than Nick

 

[AnOminous]

Just a two or three years ago Nick being an obnoxious shithead worked for him because he was an obnoxious shithead toward people you wanted to hate.

He was also a different kind of obnoxious asshole. Cuck jokes and fat jokes are not really more than being merely obnoxious. After the mask dropped, though, he started doing shit that we have always regarded as scumbag behavior, like baseless accusations of pedophilia.

Ironically it damaged his reputation more than Monty's, to the point that when Monty actually politely asked for a correction of the record, Null was open to it and on examination, the accusations were utterly bogus.

The fat jokes were generally about people who were fat and the cuck jokes were just jokes.

Now, Nick has turned out to be a literal cuck, a swinger, a cocaine addict who neglected his kids, a liar and defamer who falsely accuses people of actually molesting children, a betrayer of confidences ("Dear John"), and basically an even bigger scumbag than anyone he used to criticize for exactly those things.

There were some things people glossed over or didn't notice, of course, like the raccoon/skunk tales, where whether he made them up or not, he still looks like a shitty person for them, but I don't even remember those stories from the time.

So maybe he was being an obnoxious asshole, but he wasn't being outright criminal.

 

[not william stenchever]

Nick can easily make alcohol in his body

All he needs is a single Dorito and 5 bottles of whiskey

Truly, alchemy is a mysterious school of learning.

 

[PinKopyKat]

Nick can easily make alcohol in his body

All he needs is a single Dorito and 5 bottles of whiskey

We will tell this tale in the bible of the sektur :

Spoiler: Negroes 13:52

And it came to pass, on the eve of feasting, that Nickus, son of the lounge, walked amidst the throng gathered by the great corner demon, where many hungered yet bore naught save a humble sack of corn crisps and but one flagon of cola.

And one son among them spake, saying, “Lo, Father, the pantry is barren, and we have not coin to fetch from the market. How shall we be filled, lest we faint from hunger and thirst?”

Nickus lifted his gaze and smiled, saying unto them, “Fear not, for provision is at hand. Bring unto me the sack of 1k worth of snacks and spagetti O's.” And they brought these before him, doubting yet in their hearts.

Then did Nickus raise the sack on high, and with a voice like the hum of an old vending machine, he gave thanks, saying, “Blessed be the snack, and cursed be the hunger.” He brake the Doritos, and lo, from but one sack came forth a thousand snacks: Doritoes of many flavors, Spagetti O's, that one mashed potatoes recipe he made at 3am, and edible gummies forth sneaking to Jail, spilling forth in such abundance that the coffee table overflowed.

And the throng marveled, for each man, woman, child and april did take and eat until all were sated, and still there remained leftovers to fill twelve great bowls.

But then did Nickus take a single Dorito and pour it into a butter tray. He spake, “Behold, what was sweet shall now be strong.” And with but a turn of his Balldo, the Dorito was transformed into a golden brew its scent like unto fine mead but with a fiery kick.

And all who drank were filled with cheer, saying, “Surely, this is a miracle greater than all we have known!”

Thus was the fame of Nickus spread far and wide, and he was called henceforth “That one skinny bitch from kyle and depp trials,” beloved of all who dwell in the land of the coke.

 

[Captain Manning]

Yes! That is what it was! I am amazed by some people's uncanny ability to suss out old clips and posts from the thread or archives.

If I recall rightly, this was during the period that Nick had active sweepers online and ThePromisedOne was posting hours-long video insane defenses of Nick and the thread was engaged in highly technical discussion of follicle testing procedures and science.

After reading the screenshot I want to reiterate that Nick's fans are retards and mongoloids.

It's worth pointing out that Nick feeds his minions bullshit, and then expects them to go forth and spread the propaganda. Just like he shower calls people to try and wrangle them back on his side.

This could have been something a Balldoguard came up with on their own, but it wouldn't exactly shock me if Nick was claiming auto-brewery to his inner circle at some point. His inner circle is stupid, but they also hang on his every word.

Auto-brewery makes about as much sense as his daughter testing positive for cocaine metabolites because a cop patted her head. And we know he's definitely pushing the latter idea.

 

[Fapcop]

I can't speak for everybody here, but I just assume he's always on drugs and/or alcohol.

I mean, do you really think he's gonna stop because the gubment tells him to? He'll try to find ways to continue on as he always does and avoid failing a test.

Emphasis on try.

I assume the difference is this: When he's on restriction, he'll do it but try to keep it secret. When he's not on restriction, he'll do it and not bother keeping it secret.

Plus I have the same issue @Balldo's Gate has. I can't watch all of his shit. Sometimes he's just too infuriating with his bullshit. Some things go unnoticed by me, and I rely on the summaries of others here.

Lololol

Nick:
“This policy of not taking drugs or drinking for YEARS probably KILLS people! Or makes them go INSANE!”

Also Nick:
“I’m not an alcoholic and I won’t have problems with probation, you just don’t do it!”

Really telling on yourself there buddy!

Nick loves getting wasted so much that his mind immediately springs to suicide when he’s sitting and thinking about not drinking for years after polishing off two bottles.

But yeah, it’s no biggie! He’ll just quit just like that! It’s EASY!

 

[Himedall All-seeing Waifu]

This was likely it, thank you. Guess it was probably just a cope from Nick's supporters. Funny how they're coping for something Nick just admitted he actually just did.

When he admitted to cocaine use, we got the great schizo copypasta from ThePromisedOne about 'walking up a literal mountain to get the bitch off you'. It could work in our favour to have the mongs' worldview shattered once more.

Nick can easily make alcohol in his body

All he needs is a single Dorito and 5 bottles of whiskey

I see a meme with 'My body is a machine that turns Doritos into whiskey' text.

 

[Rodeo Roadrunner]

At this point, he has mentally finally come to terms with having lost the family court case and the criminal case. But Nick is holding on to his thin grasp on sanity around the idea that with enough lies, he can come back to streaming and revive his show. That by gaslighting and lying, he can re-make everything into the way it used to be before he was arrested.

How possible is it that the lies about his kids not knowing anything and being innocent, and Nick being a perfect father isn't a lie for the world, but more for himself? Nick has basically gone back and lied about everything in his life since he started streaming, but the one thing he has been 'consistent' on is his claim that he and Kayla are good parents. This goes back to his earliest days where he was the trad dad. He could mentally cope and explain away all the problems in his life as long as he holds onto the lie "I am a good father." If he were to admit that yes, I failed my kids by becoming a drug abuser and alcoholic, that would shatter the last protective lie that he has built his mental state around. Or maybe he is just a psychopath who doesn't care, not sure which is worse.

Remember, he told his former moderator he WANTED us to figure it out. It would have caused issues in his family if he said it outright, but he left enough breadcrumbs.

Nick is an exhibitionist, and he wants people to figure out his degeneracy without him just outright claiming he is a swinger and drug abuser. This also feeds into his delusions about his own genius, because he creates 'puzzles' that people have to 'decipher'. To put it in pop culture terms, he is like the Riddler of degeneracy. The Balldoler.

 

[Vibralldo]

I see a meme with 'My body is a machine that turns Doritos into whiskey' text.

If he can figure out a way to ferment Doritos he may never eat again

 

[PinKopyKat]

Assuming all the carbs were sugar (they're not) and a very efficient auto-brewery gut biome (it wouldn't be), a single Dorito could produce UP TO 1/5 of an ounce of alcohol.

Do you dare doubt that one that can turn a 9 year old into a daily coke user?

 

[Sam Losco's Wife]

Drinking alcohol from your asshole isn't auto-brewery syndrome.

 

[IamnottheNSA]

I can't be the only one who thinks of Metallica's Hardwired... To Self-Destruct album cover when looking at Balldo's funny and weird faces itt right?
View attachment 6736246

6 gorillion hours in Paint later

 

[demicolon]

Nick can easily make alcohol in his body

You know how Jesus turned water into wine? Of course you don't!
But I do

 

[Pelican Bones]

Assuming all the carbs were sugar (they're not) and a very efficient auto-brewery gut biome (it wouldn't be), a single Dorito could produce UP TO 1/5 of an ounce of alcohol.

WRONG AGAIN, KIWI PRUDE!

What you (fat, poor) don't understand about Nick Rekieta (rich, very smart) is that his tastes are too refined to auto-brew anything less than the best AND in quantity! One Dorito for Nick produces 750mL of the finest whiskey that is both smooth and has a smoked peat aftertaste. Enjoy sobriety, Kiwi child!

 

[not william stenchever]

Nick do something funny or we'll spend the next four pages discussing how you boofed yeast up your ass.

 

[SterilizedGlowsticks]

So are we *still* waiting for Nicky to pay off his debt to Montegraph?

 

[Mr E. Grifter]

I was never really a fan of Nick, but was aware of him. I remember when Null went on his show and everything. Seemed like a nice enough guy at face value.

My biggest issue with pre-swinger cocaine Nick, as a relative outsider, was how often he seemed to simply say what people wanted to hear. A lot of his takes seemed based upon what he wished, or what his audience wanted him to say, as opposed to objective informed analysis. Back when he was popular, I kept seeing people ascribing a certain authority to him despite ultimately being consistently wrong.

Kind of baffled me.

Barring a few exceptions, most people say what their audience wants to hear - I think the fact popularity and audiences are defined by algorithms these days it only makes that tendency worse.

I don't really care that Nick is an obnoxious asshole, there are plenty of them online, that alone doesn't make you a bad person. Nick is a POS because he gaslights his audience, his friends, tries to lie his way out of everything - he does this like a normal person breathes. A real specimen, and someone who is bound to crash and burn due to his own actions.

I only was aware of him due to him being adjacent to the sektur - but my interest now is because he's a trainwreck.

 

[Third World Aristocrat]

Nick can easily make alcohol in his body

All he needs is a single Dorito and 5 bottles of whiskey

I see a meme with 'My body is a machine that turns Doritos into whiskey' text.

Done.

 

[Captain Manning]

Remember, he told his former moderator he WANTED us to figure it out. It would have caused issues in his family if he said it outright, but he left enough breadcrumbs.

I do not know why Nick hates the Farms for collaboratively piecing the puzzle he set for us together. He should be cheering us on as we figure out his 1000 IQ riddle he set for us.

What I STILL don't get is what possessed him to think that people would piece together him going to a swinger resort, and see both he and his wife posting lewds, and then celebrate him for it. That they wouldn't give him an enormous amount of shit for it, or at least express profound disappointment.

He was on notice, as early as the Jack Murphy shit, that KF tends to appreciate certain social values. That his audience here connected with him because of that. That he was seen as "whitepilling" and an anti-cow.

Predictably, when the true image of Nick was starting to form, even @5t3n0g0ph3r had enough and stopped running the thread as a hugbox.

I consider post post 17,814, on page 891, to be the "official" turning point with respect to Nick's relationship with the Farms. The thread was moved out of Multimedia at that point, or shortly thereafter, and nobody ever again was threatened with a threadban for daring to level criticism at Nick.



And Nick has still not gotten over it.

Did he really think people here would "Oh, he's a fraud and a degenerate? No worries. Let's just keep sucking his cock in Multimedia forever."?

His hubris is off the charts. There are times I wonder maybe he was built up too much here, and that the Farms bares some responsibility for his ego, but then I remember the deceit.

EDIT: Missing word.