- Joined
- Apr 12, 2021
r/FedNews
- Thread starter Null
- Start date
- Joined
- Apr 22, 2019
Honestly, people who were being productive should love this email. If I was crucial to the functioning of the government, I should be able to answer that email with meaningful accomplishments.
I audited three businesses last week. This included (description of 5 subtasks in an audit). Ultimately, I sent to businesses letters saying the audit was completed successfully and their taxes had all been paid properly. I sent a letter to the third business stating that if they paid their employees using gold coins as an attempt to disguise the true amount being paid by claiming a gold dubloon as worth a dollar, when its market value is currently $100, then that is fraudulent and informed them of the additional taxes they owed. The three companies audited were chosen for audit baes on (non-political reason).
The only reason someone would freak out over that email is that they don't know how to make the activities they did on the clock sound worthwhile - because their job isn't necessary for the functioning of the government.
I audited three businesses last week. This included (description of 5 subtasks in an audit). Ultimately, I sent to businesses letters saying the audit was completed successfully and their taxes had all been paid properly. I sent a letter to the third business stating that if they paid their employees using gold coins as an attempt to disguise the true amount being paid by claiming a gold dubloon as worth a dollar, when its market value is currently $100, then that is fraudulent and informed them of the additional taxes they owed. The three companies audited were chosen for audit baes on (non-political reason).
The only reason someone would freak out over that email is that they don't know how to make the activities they did on the clock sound worthwhile - because their job isn't necessary for the functioning of the government.
Cuntspiracy Man
kiwifarms.net
- Joined
- Apr 29, 2021
i think this email is effectively just a lie detector test of sorts, where they don't ACTUALLY care about what you say, but rather how you react to getting the email
will you be able to so much as calmly write out 5 simple yet coherent sentences without revealing sensitive information? or will you cry like a wuss and shit your company mandated diaper?
i will never stop appreciating the irony of all of this, feds are literally being treated like average civilians, to the point where they have to experience the same stupid bureaucratical mind games
and they just can't handle it
they can't handle it so badly that they call every part of it downright illegal when the whole point of these stupid charade systems has been to make every inconvenient and unpleasant aspect of it *technically* legal, because they're so disconnected from what normal people have to experience that they either believe this is something new altogether, or they were under the impression that they're exempt from it
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- Joined
- Apr 12, 2021
"How Would You Feel If This Happened at Your Job? An Analogy for Federal Workers’ Struggles":
Source (Archive)
Edit: The title may be interpreted as disrespectful to non-Feds and allies …and this was NOT my intention. My intention is writing this was for an OTR driver/family member who genuinely asked what it felt like. Why was it different than years spent fighting overseas, in OEF/OIF, different than when I was private sector. I wrote it with a fantastical and hyperbolic theme because this is what it feels like.
Imagine you’ve spent 17 years as a truck driver for one of the most respected freight carriers in the country. You’ve worked your way up from grueling overnight hauls to earning a dedicated city-to-city bid, the kind of route only the most reliable drivers get. You’ve been awarded for safety, for efficiency, for going above and beyond. You know the roads like the back of your hand, and you take pride in keeping freight moving across America.
Then one day, everything changes. The company’s owner remarries, and his new wife, who has never even set foot inside a distribution center, let alone behind the wheel of a rig, starts making decisions. We will call her E. Lon Hubbard. E. Lon struts into the terminal like she owns the place, starts firing off emails about how the company is “bloated,” how too many drivers are “sitting around collecting paychecks,” and how trucking is “obsolete” now that automation is on the horizon. She doesn’t talk to drivers, she doesn’t ask what actually keeps freight moving …she just decides.
At first, it sounds ridiculous, like something that’ll blow over. But then the layoffs start. Drivers you’ve worked alongside for years, guys who trained you, guys you trained, start disappearing. No warning, no explanation. Just a call saying, “We’re making changes, we won’t be needing you anymore.”
Now, every morning when you clock in, you wonder if it’ll be your last. You only have 3 years until you reach your 20! The stress is unbearable. You used to sleep fine after a long haul, but now you stare at the ceiling, body exhausted but mind racing. What if I’m next? Your hands shake on the wheel, your thoughts wander at red lights. You’re making mistakes you never used to make. You just want to do your job, but your job is no longer safe.
Then she starts posting about you. Publicly.
On social media, she starts blasting truckers. “Do we really need this many drivers? All they do is block traffic and waste fuel. Lazy. Dead weight.” She says she wants to “streamline” this company, that “half of these guys could be cut and we wouldn’t even notice.”
And people eat it up. Millions of shares, hundreds of millions of likes. The public joins in.
Now, when you’re on the road, cars honk aggressively, flipping you off as they pass. You hear them yell: “Get off the road, trucker! You take up too much space with that stupid rig!” They don’t care that the goods they buy. Their groceries, their clothes, their medicine, only arrive because of you. You are now an inconvenience.
Even your safe spaces are gone. You pull into a terminal, somewhere that used to feel like home, and the atmosphere is tense. Guys whisper about who got cut that morning, who’s next. Everyone is watching their back.
At the truck stops—your refuge on long hauls—you’re met with stares instead of nods. Normal cars fill the pumps, their owners glaring at you, muttering about how truckers are ruining everything. “You should just quit,” one says, shoving past you at the checkout counter. “There’s too many of you anyway.”
You feel yourself shrinking. For almost two decades, you’ve done nothing but work hard. And now, somehow, you’ve become the enemy.
This is exactly what federal employees are living through. We are dedicated professionals, whether it’s securing the border, managing national parks, ensuring veterans get their healthcare, or protecting America’s infrastructure. But we are being dismantled from the inside by someone who doesn’t understand what we do and doesn’t care to learn.
We are watching our colleagues disappear. We are losing sleep from stress, wondering if today will be the day we’re locked out of our accounts and told we’re done. We are being humiliated in public, called lazy, useless, a drain on the system.
We are being pushed out, not because we failed, but because someone in power decided we were in the way.
Imagine you’ve spent 17 years as a truck driver for one of the most respected freight carriers in the country. You’ve worked your way up from grueling overnight hauls to earning a dedicated city-to-city bid, the kind of route only the most reliable drivers get. You’ve been awarded for safety, for efficiency, for going above and beyond. You know the roads like the back of your hand, and you take pride in keeping freight moving across America.
Then one day, everything changes. The company’s owner remarries, and his new wife, who has never even set foot inside a distribution center, let alone behind the wheel of a rig, starts making decisions. We will call her E. Lon Hubbard. E. Lon struts into the terminal like she owns the place, starts firing off emails about how the company is “bloated,” how too many drivers are “sitting around collecting paychecks,” and how trucking is “obsolete” now that automation is on the horizon. She doesn’t talk to drivers, she doesn’t ask what actually keeps freight moving …she just decides.
At first, it sounds ridiculous, like something that’ll blow over. But then the layoffs start. Drivers you’ve worked alongside for years, guys who trained you, guys you trained, start disappearing. No warning, no explanation. Just a call saying, “We’re making changes, we won’t be needing you anymore.”
Now, every morning when you clock in, you wonder if it’ll be your last. You only have 3 years until you reach your 20! The stress is unbearable. You used to sleep fine after a long haul, but now you stare at the ceiling, body exhausted but mind racing. What if I’m next? Your hands shake on the wheel, your thoughts wander at red lights. You’re making mistakes you never used to make. You just want to do your job, but your job is no longer safe.
Then she starts posting about you. Publicly.
On social media, she starts blasting truckers. “Do we really need this many drivers? All they do is block traffic and waste fuel. Lazy. Dead weight.” She says she wants to “streamline” this company, that “half of these guys could be cut and we wouldn’t even notice.”
And people eat it up. Millions of shares, hundreds of millions of likes. The public joins in.
Now, when you’re on the road, cars honk aggressively, flipping you off as they pass. You hear them yell: “Get off the road, trucker! You take up too much space with that stupid rig!” They don’t care that the goods they buy. Their groceries, their clothes, their medicine, only arrive because of you. You are now an inconvenience.
Even your safe spaces are gone. You pull into a terminal, somewhere that used to feel like home, and the atmosphere is tense. Guys whisper about who got cut that morning, who’s next. Everyone is watching their back.
At the truck stops—your refuge on long hauls—you’re met with stares instead of nods. Normal cars fill the pumps, their owners glaring at you, muttering about how truckers are ruining everything. “You should just quit,” one says, shoving past you at the checkout counter. “There’s too many of you anyway.”
You feel yourself shrinking. For almost two decades, you’ve done nothing but work hard. And now, somehow, you’ve become the enemy.
This is exactly what federal employees are living through. We are dedicated professionals, whether it’s securing the border, managing national parks, ensuring veterans get their healthcare, or protecting America’s infrastructure. But we are being dismantled from the inside by someone who doesn’t understand what we do and doesn’t care to learn.
We are watching our colleagues disappear. We are losing sleep from stress, wondering if today will be the day we’re locked out of our accounts and told we’re done. We are being humiliated in public, called lazy, useless, a drain on the system.
We are being pushed out, not because we failed, but because someone in power decided we were in the way.
Cuntspiracy Man
kiwifarms.net
- Joined
- Apr 29, 2021
Idk what's more entertaining, their complete inability to create a metaphor due to over-reliance on 'the message' in favor of a good analogy, the incessant need to keep the 'eee-lon and truuu-mpy sitting in a tree, K I S S I N G theehee' meme going, or the complete lack of awarness of the fact that their "far fetched metaphor" is already many peoples' reality, particularly the very same working class individuals like the truck drivers you use in your story
TLDR learn to drive a truck, feds
- Joined
- Aug 29, 2019
Thats the way it always works in big organizations.
My first real job was working for a major corp that had an Enron style rapid implosion. Looking back there where lots of little signs that things where going south. Ever since then I've always had my eyes open for trouble coming down the road. Things start to look shaky or weird I am out the door. If I get called in to a meeting with The Bob's then I'm hitting up my network and firing out CV's that night. You don't want to hit the job market competing with 10,000 of your ex-co workers. This mentality has served me very well over my professional career. Every time I have made a move I've ended up in a better place and never got laid off again.
I think these FEDscum are freaking out because they know they have no value and they likely can't get a decent job any place else.
They glow in the dark. You can see them if your driving. You just run them over. That's what you do.
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- Joined
- Aug 28, 2019
"El-mo"
"El-n"
"I was a Black child, growing up in the time of segregation in the south."
"This email will cost taxpayers at least $17,000,000"
"Aren't you embarrassed?"
"El-n"
"I was a Black child, growing up in the time of segregation in the south."
"This email will cost taxpayers at least $17,000,000"
"Aren't you embarrassed?"
- Joined
- Jul 23, 2019
Cuntspiracy Man
kiwifarms.net
- Joined
- Apr 29, 2021
holy fuck that is some solid bureaucrat math
if we can't afford to lose 10 minutes per employee, then shit, out with the donut breaks! you're losing money stood by cooler chatting, chop chop apparently we're on a schedule as tight as a sweatshop here!
this logic only works if we assume every minute of work DIRECTLY makes tangible money, like we're some chinamen farming gold on runescape, that the efficiency of biological beings can be counted on the dot and thus one person working an hour is the same as 60 people each working 1 minute at a time, and that money not earned yet not wasted is money lost
this is a post that perfectly explains their thinking, they don't do any real work and experience no risks, but they get paid, meaning they must be worth money
they can't name WHAT they do, it's not their input that's worth money, it's their time and presence
literal human seat warmers
i have personally known people who have worked in pretty important jobs, actually important, not office pencil pushers, and the general consensus with their work is that they FINISH work, not drag out time
i heard a man get asked "is your boss upset that you're resting at your desk?" and he responded with "why would he be? i finished all my assignments and mailed them to the client, the job got done"
they get results, results make the company money, thus them sitting around having a cup of tea doesn't *lose* money because it's not theoretical money they *could* be making, it's actual profits that they made
these people don't do anything
OrangeJuliusEvola
kiwifarms.net
- Joined
- Jan 29, 2021
This highlights my suspicion that this e-mail response thing was created to suss out "ghost" employees. For those who aren't aware of the governmental employee unions, there is a policy across all of them called LWOP (Leave Without Pay) which is horrendously abused and often unmonitored by management, in which a governmental employee takes extended leave for whatever reason. It's supposed to be used in cases of using up all your sick leave on a medical condition, but in actuality, it's because the person in question has another job that is their primary job, or just wants to wait out a supervisor or manager they don't like, so their attendance is sporadic at best, or non-existent.
In my department, we've had people not show up for work for literal years before finally being removed, and I know of other departments that have people that haven't shown for work for over a decade. Their position and seniority is maintained, while the rest of us take up the slack.
I hope all those motherfuckers burn. Too bad I'm a state worker rather than a Feddie.
- Joined
- Jul 8, 2022
A post came out and guess what, they're getting tired. Like good little redditors, they are talking like some mighty tough guys. Tick tock, Donald.
- Joined
- Dec 24, 2022
Who else here is feeling like they missed out on the USAID money grab? If I had known how easy it was I would have started an LLC and said I was teaching black people how to do interpretive trans dance. Not even joking.
- Joined
- Dec 20, 2022
It would be interesting to do a follow up with these people in two to three years to see if their views on things have shifted. These people sound like the literal definition of luxury beliefs. I wonder if being forced to confront the actual state of things will cause even a tiny shift in their views. Having to deal with the real economy is going to be such a wake up call for them. Even if its just a handful, it'll be an interesting study on how government teat shapes views.
How in the goddamn fuck can this exist. My company would collapse over night if this shit was allowed.
Does this dumb bastard not realize if they don't get replaced/fired it means their doing their job? Like saying "I kept my job" isn't some own when the entire point is to get rid of useless eaters. Or are they admitting they are another useless eater?
- Joined
- Aug 4, 2019
They send fucking officers’ wives to SERE school (sometimes), tough guy. No ones impressed
A friend said something to me a few weeks ago that I keep turning over in my mind: imagine if the government loved us as much as they love foreigners? I’d extend that to feds.
Imagine if they helped regular middle class people avoid paying business taxes (like they do for immigrant businesses), or claim welfare despite making too much money (illegals), or helped us keep our job despite having a tough time (feds)? It makes me MATI af.
- Joined
- Aug 28, 2019
"ARE YOU HAPPY NOW?"
Civil disobedience
DOGE Goons!
Links to: https://www.thedailybeast.com/watch...t-doge-goons-caught-on-camera-for-first-time/
Civil disobedience
DOGE Goons!
Links to: https://www.thedailybeast.com/watch...t-doge-goons-caught-on-camera-for-first-time/
More bureaucrat math
jDBHXsmSf
kiwifarms.net
- Joined
- Jul 11, 2024
Honestly best argument I've seen for LESS federal employees. I've stopped caring about Elon being a weirdo, his pain inflicted on feds brings me much joy.
- Joined
- Aug 4, 2019
Out of interest, I think the DOD employee (there are redditors working at the DOD, God help us) doesn’t have to worry about it because DOGE is making exemptions for defense. This is just what I’ve heard from talking to swamp residents.
- Joined
- Aug 28, 2019
The self-censorship is ludicrous.
"You guys just don't get it."
"You guys just don't get it."
- Joined
- Sep 16, 2013
I didn’t think I could hate these clowns anymore than I currently do, but they keep upping (lowering?) the bar.
I hope to see these people standing at street corners with signs saying “Former Federal “Worker”, will Be Woke For Food”
They mocked our suffering for decades and I’m really looking forward to giving them mockery in kind
I hope to see these people standing at street corners with signs saying “Former Federal “Worker”, will Be Woke For Food”
They mocked our suffering for decades and I’m really looking forward to giving them mockery in kind
Cuntspiracy Man
kiwifarms.net
- Joined
- Apr 29, 2021
no wonder these people are so full of themselves, they view wages in such odd ways that they must think the amount they're paid is how much they're "worth" as people
people pay prostitutes a lot too, doesn't make them high class women
at this point i think they just have such a fetish for censorship they legitimately just enjoy it, it's not JUST about censoring the wrongspeak of others
sure, that's a factor, evil must be banished and what not... but that aside, they just get off on censoring things plain and simple
that aside it's also a part of this thing that happens where they saw this behavior so much that they think it needs to be emulated
kinda like how we see kids now get scared of using words like "kill" or "attack" or "rape" when discussing such matters because websites like tiktok and youtube would censor them, and they got so used to seeing them censored and/or replaced with advertiser-friendly terms like "gettting un-alive'd" or "graped" that they forgot this stuff was being done to get around the website's own filter, and started thinking it's actually a cultural thing for it to be forbidden to speak these words
in short, what was nothing more than a practice performed for a utilitarian reason, ie avoiding the censors on an app or website, became a habit in all forms of communication because these people don't communicate outside of said apps
likewise these redditors got so used to their in-memes that they became the mandated way of behaving because they forgot when the joke of censoring someone's name began or where it stopped being a joke, and now it's something they genuinely believe they MUST do
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