Tess Holliday / Ryann Maegen Hoven - Beached Landwhale model, Body positive and social justice snacktivist, and gigantic fraud

[Barbarella]

I think 100% of us expected a bedbound arc, and feared for Bowie. It’s sprinkled throughout this thread.

So I didn’t really understand how a person, even a deathfat, could hurt their knee in a way to need emergent care. I wrongly assumed knees would be slowly crushed under weight, or would require a fall. She’s not ice skating, she’s not running, how could her juicy ass cause a ligament injury?

But then I saw Glitter&Lazers “dancing” awkwardly and it hit me that just a wrong step and landing on the side of a foot can damage a knee in someone who is taking up as much fucking space as she is. What would be a slight tweak for us that is forgotten a second later causes her a massive injury that could be unrecoverable.

I know her family is done with her but I sure hope Bowie still can get to school and Tess has enough money to hire a nurse/caregiver for a couple hours a day. If he skips enough school, CA truancy will get involved-taking care of mom is not an excused absence. But he’ll have to miss a couple of weeks before calls start coming, then automated letters, and after 40 days the DA gets involved. (This might depend on district but I think it’s state law. Attendance is sent directly to the government and is audited regularly.) After enough time, a truency officer will knock.

It’s not like Bowie was eating home cooked meals-she ordered fast food and buys packaged shit like uncrustables and fruit roll ups, so that won’t change. But an 8 year old still needs so much done that he should not have to do himself. And he especially shouldn’t do bodily things.

I can hear her now, “Bowie, can you grab me a soda?“ “Bowie, can you put the laundry in?” ”Bowie, can you bring me the chips.” “Bowie, grab me my red lipstick”. All day…

 

[Stupid Sexy Flanders]

I can hear her now, “Bowie, can you grab me a soda?“ “Bowie, can you put the laundry in?” ”Bowie, can you bring me the chips.” “Bowie, grab me my red lipstick”. All day…

"Bowie, lift Mama's ass so she can fart on this cake if you wanna eat next week"

 

[Attractive Sexhaver]

BITCH.

Thank god those doctors got the benefit of Tess' many years of medical wisdom. Clearly there's no link between between hundreds of pounds overweight and blowing your knee out at age 39 doing absolutely nothing.

Now that she's moved her medical team on from that obvious bit of nonsense, hopefully her doctors are pinpointing what type of ancient gypsy curse was leveled on poor Tess that made her ligament mysteriously snap, like it was suddenly required to bear much more weight than it was ever designed for.

 

[Accept Only Substitutes]

I had a longer response but it was eaten. Rather than try to type it all out again, I'll just say this: I have personal experience with severe knee injuries, surgeries, and physical therapy.

Tess only thinks her life has been hard. She is absolutely fucked. This is a career ending injury for a moddle of her size, let alone a prostitute.

I estimate a greater than 50% she becomes bed bound, or at least wheelchair bound, and a 10% chance she will ever walk without a mobilty aid again.

I don't see how she stays in LA long or short term. If nothing else she'll need someone to wipe her ass. I also don't see how she doesn't eventually end up on SSI, which is barely enough to afford rent in LA. IF it's enough for rent.

Poor Bowie, he'll never be able to escape mom now. If a narc mom is bad, a disabled narc mom is the eighth level of hell.

Also that brace is way too small for her. The flaps on the side are supposed to overlap or at least meet in the middle, to prevent skin irritation from the velcro straps.

Edit: spelling is hard, especially when autoincorrect helps.

 

[The Queen of Autists]

I had a longer response but it was eaten. Rather than try to type it all out again, I'll just say this: I have personal experience with severe knee injuries, surgeries, and physical therapy.

Tess only thinks her life has been hard. She is absolutely fucked. This is a career ending injury for a moddle of her size, let alone a prostitute.

I estimate a greater than 50% she becomes bed bound, or at least wheelchair bound, and a 10% chance she will ever walk without a mobilty aid again.

I don't see how she stays in LA long or short term. If nothing else she'll need someone to wipe her ass. I also don't see how she doesn't eventually end up on SSI, which is barely enough to afford rent in LA. IF it's enough for rent.

Poor Bowie, he'll never be able to escape mom now. If a narc mom is bad, a disabled narc mom is the eighth level of hell.

Also that brace is way too small for her. The flaps on the side are supposed to overlap or at least meet in the middle, to prevent skin irritation from the velcro straps.

Edit: spelling is hard, especially when autoincorrect helps.

Ssi in Los California is about 1235 a month, a one bedroom apartment in Long Beach is 1700 to 2500 a month except for a very few tiny 950 or 1000 dollar apartments that would be hard as heck to find and get into, tons of competition. There are HUD disability complexes up in that area, if she qualified she would pay 30% of her income. She’s most likely going to end up on the dole with a social worker since she has a kid

 

[Poopfart]

Ssi in Los California is about 1235 a month, a one bedroom apartment in Long Beach is 1700 to 2500 a month except for a very few tiny 950 or 1000 dollar apartments that would be hard as heck to find and get into, tons of competition. There are HUD disability complexes up in that area, if she qualified she would pay 30% of her income. She’s most likely going to end up on the dole with a social worker since she has a kid

I imagine apartment hunting in LA is slightly similar to NYC where the cheaper apartments are like on a higher floor with no elevator. That living place needs to be on the ground or have an elevator, she is so fucked by this.

Idk much about Tess, has her family shunned her or something? Is that why she can’t go back and have them take care of Bowie while she recovers?

 

[cactus]

I imagine apartment hunting in LA is slightly similar to NYC where the cheaper apartments are like on a higher floor with no elevator. That living place needs to be on the ground or have an elevator, she is so fucked by this.

Idk much about Tess, has her family shunned her or something? Is that why she can’t go back and have them take care of Bowie while she recovers?

She lives in a newer building, there's an elevator.

 

[Accept Only Substitutes]

Idk much about Tess, has her family shunned her or something? Is that why she can’t go back and have them take care of Bowie while she recovers?

Not that we're aware of. She's visited several times over the last few years and southerners being what we are if she called and said she needed help someone would take her in. Even odds that they eventually kick her out, but most people feel an obligation to take care of family because they're family, even if the person is difficult.

What's keeping her there in LA is her dreams of making it big someday. Narcissism and pride, basically.

Hopefully she doesn't rope Rylee into doing it, he needs to go to college and get away from mom. Not get dragged back into her gravity well.

 

[The Hardest R]

I think 100% of us expected a bedbound arc, and feared for Bowie. It’s sprinkled throughout this thread.

Yep. We also figured it would happen right around this time too, as it appears deathfats start to see their health start to fail around their late 30s. Her health has been rapidly failing too, with beetus red extremities, her abnormally greasy face, etc. These last couple years have been hard on her. She responded by hoovering up endless boxes of Little Debbie snack cakes.

She’s most likely going to end up on the dole with a social worker since she has a kid

This is likely her future. Uncle Sam is going to be her sugar daddy moving forward.

Idk much about Tess, has her family shunned her or something? Is that why she can’t go back and have them take care of Bowie while she recovers?

When Ryann’s mom had a stroke, she stopped by to “help” but something went awry because she left early and made a bunch of vague accusations about her family. Afterwards she started reconnecting with dear old dad who seemed to enjoy reconnecting with his daughter but that eventually stopped too. This was when she was flirting with her 18 year old step brother, Hunter. I suspect she did something to piss them off but she didn’t make a scene about this like she did with her mom’s side of the family. Maybe because it was so embarrassing that she couldn’t even spin it.

Recent instances of her coming back to Laurel have primarily involved her staying with old friends but there was one instance where she visited her mom after she was out of the hospital for having a stroke.

I suspect for Bowie’s sake someone in her family would take him in if Tess offered. We’ve speculated she’s tried dumping him before but they refused. I think now they would. Of course, Tubbers will probably insist on having him around to do things for her and keep her company in between eating and doomscrolling.

If Nick was any kind of father, he’d intervene but we know he won’t. He’s just happy not to have the responsibility. You hate to see it, kid doesn’t stand a chance.

 

[Grand Duke Snowfall]

Hopefully she doesn't rope Rylee into doing it, he needs to go to college and get away from mom. Not get dragged back into her gravity well.

Sadly it wouldn’t surprise me. With all the mass she has and is undoubtedly going to accumulate, she’s got the gravitational pull of a black hole if you can’t truly get away. Maybe stronger.

 

[Adrenochrome Dreams]

BITCH.

View attachment 7103006

Ah but it is because you’re fat Tessie.

According to this source overweight people are >4 times more likely to get MCL injuries.

 

[NoReturn]

Ssi in Los California is about 1235 a month, a one bedroom apartment in Long Beach is 1700 to 2500 a month except for a very few tiny 950 or 1000 dollar apartments that would be hard as heck to find and get into, tons of competition. There are HUD disability complexes up in that area, if she qualified she would pay 30% of her income. She’s most likely going to end up on the dole with a social worker since she has a kid

What's keeping her there in LA is her dreams of making it big someday. Narcissism and pride, basically.

Everyone below has made their predictions.

I’m not familiar with SoCal but I assume she isn’t moving to a place like Hemet or Norco

street-walking on Florida Avenue in Hemet

Moreno Valley,

Temecula

Sun City, Menifee, or Murrieta.

Place bets now!

 

[Accept Only Substitutes]

We need a new poll. Who's the janny around here?

 

[Clotso Coof]

It's going to be hard for Tess to bend over cakes with that injury. She'll need some sort of sling and harness system. Maybe a rack hanging from the ceiling, plus one of those dolphin slings they use to get porpoises on airplanes when they transfer zoos.

might heal with RICE

For a minute I thought you meant actual rice. That's the only thing Tess would be likely to do as a patient: eat fried rice.

I sure hope Bowie still can get to school

Would she be able to drive with her knee that fucked up? She used to drive him to school everyday, as evidenced by all those bitchy tiktoks she did from the carpool pick up lane at the school.

Also that brace is way too small for her. The flaps on the side are supposed to overlap or at least meet in the middle

Evie also was extra-fucked by trying to heal in a brace that was way too small for her. These deathfats often can't find leg, ankle or foot braces that fit them. And good luck if they need a back brace.

In addition to fitting around the limb, braces need to hold steady in whatever position they're designed for. But a huge pad of fat is squishy. The brace will move around more than it should.

 

[Accept Only Substitutes]

In addition to fitting around the limb, braces need to hold steady in whatever position they're designed for. But a huge pad of fat is squishy. The brace will move around more than it should.

Yep. Those knee braces have metal rods along the sides to hold the leg firmly in place. There's no way those rods are parallel to her bones. She'll probably be able to bend the knee a little bit as she moves it around, which won't help it.

Depending on the circumstances of surgery or healing naturally I'd think they'd want to put a cast on it because of the poor fit of a brace. I understand why they wouldn't at the ER, they just diagnosed her and referred her to orthopedics. Orthopedics gets to make that decision.

Edit: re driving.

It's not likely she can even get in the front seat. When I had my knee in one of those bastards I had to sit sideways in the back seat. You don't realize just how little room you have in the front seat until your leg can't bend.

MAYBE the Jeep is big enough to let her in, but if it's her right leg no way will be able to use the peddles.

 

[Dean Pentel]

IIRC, the cake farting jokes really ramped up after Tess started going to the Madonna Inn every other week to eat cake during the pandemic, leading to rumors of a Cakejohn that was paying for the visits and cake in exchange for sex acts. The joke that it was to fart on a cake went from there between that and the FAT cake.

A fucking shame too, because that would be so damned funny if it were true. I hope she is having to prostitute herself to make ends meet, and it requires her to do some things she'll long feel awful about.

Surgery or not, recovery from this is… unpleasant and at her size… shudder.

If it's any bonus to you, I promise that even if she should lose enough weight to get the surgery, post-op recovery is going to be damn miserable for her. A whole lot of pain, impaired mobility, problems with constipation and urine retention because she's popping opioids as quickly as she can keep them supplied, hygiene will definitely be a huge issue, and her healing won't happen as quickly as it could because her diet and sleep hygiene are fucking dogshit.

 

[The Queen of Autists]

Everyone below has made their predictions.





Place bets now!

Mojave

 

[Chapalapachapa]

I watched that My 600 Pound Life video that was linked here a couple pages ago, and it’s pretty damn heartbreaking what those kids have to go through because their parents are so fucked. It also makes me sick how Tess is “Like single mom life! My baby’s taking such good care of me!” No, he shouldn’t have to. Eight year olds should be going to school, hanging out with friends, having some easy chores to learn responsibility. Not having to do all the housework with an iPad as respite because you happily let yourself get to a point where a bad injury is most likely going to lead to you rotting in bed, unable to even get up to take a shit. One of the moms in the video couldn’t even squeeze through the bathroom door, and I’m sure Tess isn’t far behind that now. She is actually robbing Bowie of his childhood, and I don’t think she cares a bit. I don’t think she even cares that he’s probably going to have to attend his mom’s funeral before he turns 13.

she didnt abort him. SHE IS SUCH A GOOD MOM YAAAAAAAAAAALL

 

[No Thank You v 2.0]

I’m curious as to why she went to the Emergency Room. She had time to think about it first, she packed terrible snacks for herself and her child, and posted a video all between the time of the injury and when she sought treatment. She clearly wasn’t in such a high level of pain where her only concern was getting to a doctor immediately. Why go to the ER instead of an urgent care clinic, if the need was immediate enough for same-day treatment (presumably), but you had time to pack, and you’re clearly not that bothered? Is it because urgent care clinics typically require proof of insurance or cash up front for services? If an ER has to stabilize a person despite their inability to pay, I wonder if she went to the ER because she couldn’t afford treatment otherwise? I doubt she’ll have the money for follow-up care, but that’s a separate issue.

 

[I call shenanigans]

She’s going to gain so quickly because she will refuse to get up for longer than it takes to get to the toilet and back, if that.

And she has to do it on crutches where her arms need to support her entire weight.

I wonder if it tore completely or is a partial tear. Is surgery something that would be considered although her weight would clearly make that way more high risk.

I doubt it’s a full tear. She managed to leave her apartment, get snacks packed for herself and Bowie, and drive to the ER. She couldn’t have done that with a full tear.

Ok good question for any local medkiwis - Google AI says that MCL tears under grade 3 and without separation from the bone might heal with RICE and physio therapy (in a normal human), but if it's above that it needs surgery.

Very true, and adds to my reasoning that she only has a partial tear.

Would surgery happen immediately, regardless of Tess' size or would a doctor put this off to make her more fit for anesthesia? I guess I'm wondering if it's considered emergency surgery or if there's a chance the anaesthesiologist will nope out

It didn’t for Evie, and she totally smashed her leg up. She was kept in hospital, on a diet in an attempt to get her weight down prior to surgery. Tess was allowed to return home. I suspect she’s making a minor tear into a huge deal. Don’t get me wrong, she would be hurting, and prescribed bed rest for a while, but I doubt they would have sent her straight home with just an 8 year old to care for her, if her injury was severe.

Edit: partially ninja’d by @No Thank You v 2.0