why are you still single - and general discussion of the dating game

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My hobbies are very niche and my job requires a lot of traveling. I'd love to find a guy who wants to hike The Bigfoot Trail but it's a hard sell. I'm also not really a dog person and it seems like everyone has multiple dogs these days.

Edit to add I'm not without my problems and weird thoughts but damn I tend to keep them to myself
 
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I used to think it was because I was too picky, then I tried putting myself out there more and lowering expectations a bit but now I've just found that it's difficult to find someone who I have genuine chemistry with, among other things.

A big issue I run into after attempting to date in my 30s is everyone either has a lot of relationship trauma, wants to fuck immediately, or has kids. I haven't been in many relationships (just a couple) in my life because I used to struggle with anxiety and depression, so I thought it'd be shitty to make that someone else's problem, but after overcoming my mental boogeymans I'm starting to just believe I picked the absolute worst time in history (thus far) to get back into the dating game. Everyone seems fucked up, unstable, or can't pay attention to save their lives so conversation can be so grating knowing you have to constantly monitor the other person's attention span to know if you're wasting your breath speaking.

Been on a good handful of dates the past few years and often the dates go well but we somehow just end up not connecting romantically.

I don't feel like I understand men very well after these recent attempts but have been putting in more effort to understand.
 
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Thursday said:
I used to think it was because I was too picky, then I tried putting myself out there more and lowering expectations a bit but now I've just found that it's difficult to find someone who I have genuine chemistry with, among other things.

A big issue I run into after attempting to date in my 30s is everyone either has a lot of relationship trauma, wants to fuck immediately, or has kids. I haven't been in many relationships (just a couple) in my life because I used to struggle with anxiety and depression, so I thought it'd be shitty to make that someone else's problem, but after overcoming my mental boogeymans I'm starting to just believe I picked the absolute worst time in history (thus far) to get back into the dating game. Everyone seems fucked up, unstable, or can't pay attention to save their lives so conversation can be so grating knowing you have to constantly monitor the other person's attention span to know if you're wasting your breath speaking.

Been on a good handful of dates the past few years and often the dates go well but we somehow just end up not connecting romantically.

I don't feel like I understand men very well after these recent attempts but have been putting in more effort to understand.
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Are you a girl?
 
Cthulus Nutsack said:
I'm also not really a dog person and it seems like everyone has multiple dogs these days.
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I always find this odd. I grew up on a large lot where we had our own space for the dogs. Originally outdoor dogs with their own enclosed porch, eventually indoor/outdoor dogs. Now you have people with no space for pets who take them everywhere because they'll go crazy and tear the place up when they're gone and unlike kids they can never take care of themselves.
 
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Z6HGR-8V8TM-GXEWM said:
I think it's easier for women—just don't be fat, do makeup, nails, and hair, and boom, everyone wants to date you.
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While most of this is true, women can absolutely be fat and still pull tons of dudes these days.

But pulling guys isn't the problem, it's the quality of the guys + even if someone is a really cool person you may not be compatible for a relationship for a variety of reasons. Just a date or relationship isn't the goal here, I'm seeking longterm commitment. But everyone feels a bit loopy lately.
 
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DavidS877 said:
I always find this odd. I grew up on a large lot where we had our own space for the dogs. Originally outdoor dogs with their own enclosed porch, eventually indoor/outdoor dogs. Now you have people with no space for pets who take them everywhere because they'll go crazy and tear the place up when they're gone and unlike kids they can never take care of themselves.
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Growing we had dogs as well and they were pets and nothing more. We absolutely cared about them but this pet parent crap is weird. Also pitbulls are a no go for me. Had to kill one that ran into my mom's apartment
 
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Personally my reason is I’m working a lot rn and don’t have much free time to even think about starting another relationship after my last one. However something I’ve noticed is I used to think it was just the gen z girls who had an issue(I’m 22) and while they definitely do have a problem with only giving guys above their league the time of day, some of the guys in my generation are the most socially inept motherfuckers I have ever seen. Like seeing what some of these guys think will get them to score literally has made my jaw drop with how weird it is. Honestly just being confident and going up to girls atp and being normal puts you above a good 60-70% of guys now.
 
Amazing Criminal said:
Like the poster above once said, I can't find a racist woman.
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My friend, you have to make your woman racist. Midway through the relationship start drip-feeding some redpills to rapidly expand her universe, and over the course of many months, slowly chip away at that liberal woman programming and direct her toward the truth. It so easy in current year, everyone is already openly racist against jeets. I would do some deep reflection on how racist you really are if you can't get the basics down.
 
Thursday said:
While most of this is true, women can absolutely be fat and still pull tons of dudes these days.

But pulling guys isn't the problem, it's the quality of the guys + even if someone is a really cool person you may not be compatible for a relationship for a variety of reasons. Just a date or relationship isn't the goal here, I'm seeking longterm commitment. But everyone feels a bit loopy lately.
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I agree regarding the importance of quality. That’s why I said that an attractive woman tends to attract more men, because men often value a woman’s appearance. More men means greater quantity, which includes both higher-quality men and those who are garbage. As a result, you have more quality men to choose from within the larger pool of suitors.
 
I choose to be single, I'm in my early 20s still going to college, I've had several relationships behind me since I was a teenager romantic and purely sexual. Honestly, I have woman fatigue. All of these romantic relationships basically tended to end in disaster, they always try to manipulate you in some way, or gaslight you over shit, and I'm not a person that really takes anyone's shit. Which makes me incompatible with I'd say 95% of women here in Germany. They always try to domineer you, and its honestly annoying, I hate my generations women, and I hate feminism. They have made themselves undatable, and undesirable.

The only really positive experience I had was a friends with benefits type situation I had with a cougar for a bit before we both kinda moved on and currently I am single. I think I want to stay single, I don't want a relationship for now or the foreseeable future. I'm just going to wait until I'm in my 30s and have a good career / stable income and then marry a 20 something from a poor eastern European country or the Baltics and I'll make it absolutely crystal clear who is in control, and the only reason I even want that is because I want kids.
 
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WillyPete said:
I choose to be single, I'm in my early 20s still going to college, I've had several relationships behind me since I was a teenager romantic and purely sexual. Honestly, I have woman fatigue. All of these romantic relationships basically tended to end in disaster, they always try to manipulate you in some way, or gaslight you over shit, and I'm not a person that really takes anyone's shit. Which makes me incompatible with I'd say 95% of women here in Germany. They always try to domineer you, and its honestly annoying, I hate my generations women, and I hate feminism. They have made themselves undatable, and undesirable.

The only really positive experience I had was a friends with benefits type situation I had with a cougar for a bit before we both kinda moved on and currently I am single. I think I want to stay single, I don't want a relationship for now or the foreseeable future. I'm just going to wait until I'm in my 30s and have a good career / stable income and then marry a 20 something from a poor eastern European country or the Baltics and I'll make it absolutely crystal clear who is in control, and the only reason I even want that is because I want kids.
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I have found that the bolded to be very accurate and it is something that most people glaze over. Most modern women (keyword modern) for longterm relationships seem to want an alpha simp, aka a good looking guy with social status that they are can browbeat into submission and failing to obtain that, they will settle for a beta-bux provider. Paradoxically, the last thing most women want is a man with healthy boundaries, self-worth, and most importantly options because that man can tell her to fuck off anytime and won't put up her with bullshit.
 
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Robin's Donuts said:
I have found that the bolded to be very accurate and it is something that most people glaze over. Most modern women (keyword modern) for longterm relationships seem to want an alpha simp, aka a good looking guy with social status that they are can browbeat into submission and failing to obtain that, they will settle for a beta-bux provider. Paradoxically, the last thing most women want is a man with healthy boundaries, self-worth, and most importantly options because that man can tell her to fuck off anytime and won't put up her with bullshit.
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Honestly dude, that is 100% accurate. And at this point I've completely checked out of the dating scene, I don't want any anymore. Im just not interested in them, and they all act like that from experience so why would I waste my time. I've completely stopped pursuing any relationships with women my generation. Even sex wise, why should I do it with them over a cougar. It makes no sense.
 
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Hello Kiwis, I've been lurking so far but last week has left me in a predicament on where I should proceed with my future and I just wanna talk about it.

For context, I live in mainland Europe, graduated with a bachelor's, have a decent programming job. In Europe, I never found anyone I clicked with. I went on a few dates either in college, meeting on social media (not dating apps!) etc but on all of them it never clicked for me and ended up leaving with a sour mood. But besides this, I have been travelling to the US. I've been enjoying the wider range of activities and different lifestyle available there than Europe. But on the occasions I have visited the US east coast, I managed to secure two dates, and so far I found that I click way more with the americans; more matching interests, music, desires etc. The first one I met two years ago initially was the best experience I had with the few days we stayed together. Sadly it ended up being cruel as it turned into a cheat later on, but this was my fault for ignoring red flags (I was new to this whole dating experience at the time).

But this second american date was something else, I never felt so close to someone, I would say a straight up 10/10. Never been happier in those days we got to spent, but then on the last day, I got told that this wouldn't work out unless I were to manage to live in the US due to the distance and how difficult it would be to be physically together. I'm still shattered by this, but it's got me really motivated to find a way to settle in the US. Even if I can't reconcile with this person later, I just feel like my chances in Europe are hopeless and I'm better off searching for opportunities in the US (the american dream right?).

While waiting at the airport I researched how I could settle in the US, but it's looking very grim. The only viable option for me is H1-B but its a lottery, requires a company to sponsor you in the first place, and I'm really fresh out of college with a year of experience so I imagine I don't have good chances anyway. It would possibly be 2-5 years before I could secure any visa and I just hate thinking about it, because while I'm employed here in Europe, these next years will be depressing knowing that I'm missing out on opportunities constantly in my prime years.

What do yous think? Is it worth trying the move or is it all wishful thinking?
 
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I'm simply not ready to date again, but I'm considering giving it another try. I'm also rather picky with what I like so that more than likely doesn't help things.
 
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