@Mound Dweller cooking thread - Welcome to 5 star br*t*sh cuisine n’wah

[Nickel Silver]

Notice, if you will, how all the life is boiled out of it.

Does she also boil hamburgers?

 

[Pure Autism]

Most competent cook on the Farms btw.

 

[Xarpho's Return]

>drinking coke

Ew.

Coca-Cola is delicious. The company may be globohomo in all the worst ways but they sure do know how to make delicious-tasting sugar water.

 

[Me•cha•ni•cal]

@Mound Dweller is Mummy Dweller allergic to vegetables too? Id happily eat that with a fresh salad or some oven roasted veg

 

[Dr. Butt]

@Mound Dweller ‘s cooking.

When I saw the sponsored banner I clicked without reading because I thought it was going to be a deathfat thread I hadn't read yet. Beige banner.

Found his next meal.
View attachment 8809988

content.

 

[souschef]

Coca-Cola is delicious. The company may be globohomo in all the worst ways but they sure do know how to make delicious-tasting sugar water.

Can i borrow your time machine and go back 20 years ago to drink actual good coke?

@Mound Dweller is Mummy Dweller allergic to vegetables too? Id happily eat that with a fresh salad or some oven roasted veg

Roasted bell peppers and steamed veg sautéed in olive oil, that's my jam

 

[crushedrocks]

I want to see his take on some candy

 

[JambledUpWords]

I want to see his take on some candy

@Mound Dweller, how about making homemade caramel or toffee sauce?

 

[The Jewel of the Nile]

@Mound Dweller, how about making homemade caramel or toffee sauce?

I'd love to see him bake a great depression british classic- a water cake

 

[souschef]

@Mound Dweller, how about making homemade caramel or toffee sauce?

He'll spend 30 days off the farms due to hand burns

 

[JambledUpWords]

I'd love to see him bake a great depression british classic- a water cake

He should try making Wacky Cake. I have a recipe for it, and have made it myself. It’s probably one of the most idiot proof cake recipes out there:

Of course, it’s in the superior American measurements, so it would have to be converted to the Br*tish way of measuring things. Lucky for @Mound Dweller it already has those measurements in the parentheses.

 

[souschef]

He should try making Wacky Cake. I have a recipe for it, and have made it myself. It’s probably one of the most idiot proof cake recipes out there:
View attachment 8826183View attachment 8826182
Of course, it’s in the superior American measurements, so it would have to be converted to the Br*tish way of measuring things. Lucky for @Mound Dweller it already has those measurements in the parentheses.

Uhm... nuh uh

Metric is the superior measuring system

 

[Dr. Butt]

Uhm... nuh uh

Metric is the superior measuring system

If you're not able to make desserts using volume measurements or just your eyeballs you're a worthless baker anyway.

 

[Miriam Margoyles]

There's a real 'Steven Dawson' vibe to this thread, that I enjoy anyway. Ding dong, baby.

 

[Agarathium1066]

Does she also boil hamburgers?

Nothing like a good steamed ham.

Really keeping up the theme that brits love their food beige. No lie, I've seen much worse.

 

[Mound Dweller]

@Mound Dweller is Mummy Dweller allergic to vegetables too?

God no, I had to spend the first part of my life picking onions/carrots/peppers out of everything.

@Mound Dweller, how about making homemade caramel or toffee sauce?

I don't know about sauce, the one time I tried making something sauce themed it ended up in smoke on the ceiling.
Next time I have access to actual baking trays I might give that cake a try though.

Metric is the superior measuring system

I like to use miles for speed, kilograms for weight, feet for height, centimetres for measurements, inches for distance, kilometres for longer distance, and grams for plants.

 

[JambledUpWords]

I don't know about sauce, the one time I tried making something sauce themed it ended up in smoke on the ceiling.

Yeah, with those sauces, you need to make sure to use medium to medium low heat, otherwise it can burn easily. It also needs to be constantly stirred as well, otherwise it won’t cook right. I’m assuming, based on the smoke, it was cooked on extremely high heat.

Next time I have access to actual baking trays I might give that cake a try though.

It’s really good. You won’t regret it. When I made it for my family, they were surprised when I told them it had no milk, eggs, or butter.

 

[souschef]

I don't know about sauce, the one time I tried making something sauce themed it ended up in smoke on the ceiling.
Next time I have access to actual baking trays I might give that cake a try though.

In the pan:

Low heat, spread sugar

The heat is stronger from the borders towards the centre. So you'll need to push the sugar to the centre as it melts and darkens. If you stir at this step, the caramel will crystalize. Best to use a silicon spatula for this. Do this till the caramel is all melted and in amber color, any further and it's burned

Then remove from the heat and add butter and/or cream, now you need to stir (this is the part where you get burned with molten sugar). In this part you need to be agile otherwise it may form clumps that are a bitch to undo, i've scars on my hands to this day doing this

 

[Cat Funt]

where the deep fried haggis at

 

[stares at error messages]

I see you agree with the queen mr dweller
View attachment 8749764

Why is there RAID next to where you are prepairing food? That's not right. That shouldn't be there. Proves everything I've said against foids right that she throws the scissor at herself and then doen't wash it before using it on food. Yuck!

She's not using a cutting board and her knife is probably too dull.

Maybe she's practicing for when she comes down with Parkinson's..