How are you doing? - Kiwi Farms Wellness Check

Everything went to hell. Absolutely everything. I did a last Hail Mary effort in a desperate attempt to turn things around a bit. But literally everything that could go wrong did go wrong in the absolute worst fucking way possible. My poor fucking pets. I need to take them on an 8 hour train ride this weekend to a shelter that will eventually rehome them to a good home.
I have to find the strength and energy to do this NOW. It's really fucking urgent. Wish me (or rather, my pets) good luck.
Thank you kiwifrens ❤️
 
Lots of thoughts on race, like colonization. If migrants aren't allowed to come into the US, why is the US allowed to come into other countries and take over them? This is a genuine question, I'm not even being cheeky. I've been wondering it for a while.
 
Lots of thoughts on race, like colonization. If migrants aren't allowed to come into the US, why is the US allowed to come into other countries and take over them? This is a genuine question, I'm not even being cheeky. I've been wondering it for a while.
Some cultures are inferior because of a host of different reasons. Christian Europe and by extension the USA have conquered such large swathes of the globe because of the colonised countries' inferior XYZ: lack of technology, barbaric practices and similar weaknesses.
And honestly, I would rather live in a society like the west, than in a muslim shithole in africa/the middle east or a place like China, despite their leaps and bounds in other technological areas (they even invented gunpowder back in the day)
This has nothing to do with skin colour or race, but culture. It's not to say Kenya is a guaranteed dud with regards to leading a happy life, but there are different challenges in the third world than in the first world.
 
Some cultures are inferior because of a host of different reasons. Christian Europe and by extension the USA have conquered such large swathes of the globe because of the colonised countries' inferior XYZ: lack of technology, barbaric practices and similar weaknesses.
And honestly, I would rather live in a society like the west, than in a muslim shithole in africa/the middle east or a place like China, despite their leaps and bounds in other technological areas (they even invented gunpowder back in the day)
This has nothing to do with skin colour or race, but culture. It's not to say Kenya is a guaranteed dud with regards to leading a happy life, but there are different challenges in the third world than in the first world.
I just don't get it. If third worlders can't come into America cause they'll spread their culture, why can America come into the third world and spread their culture when no one asked them to? Wouldn't the same rules of "Go back where you came from" apply? Especially if they're coming in by force, ergo, illegally? Also who decides when a culture is inferior, who decides what's barbaric, who decides what foods can be eaten with your hands when hamburgers exist?
Idk, it's like all encompassing. You can't even just "Go back to Africa" cause they want to follow you there and teach you to act white, but you can never be white and you should be ashamed of that. Also you need to stay away from whites. But you can't hate them, but they can hate you.
It's like the entirety of reality is set up where I have to lay belly side down and just take it, what existence is that. What kind of cruel force of nature would give birth to a race who's only point is to be fucked around with by another race.
 
Nice!! Which ones did you get? And where did you get them from? Ive never ordered any plants online, I feel like the risk of them arriving damaged is too high.
Upon review, I ordered 9 succulents from Mountain Crest Gardens. It was my first order and I was a little apprehensive after reading some bad reviews after my order shipped: chinese dunce cap, crassula campfire, crassula dorothy, blue elf, crassula falcata, sempervivum gold nugget, sempervivum red charm, some variegated bear paws, and a mystery haworthia that turned out to be two extremely rootbound haworthias in one 2 inch plastic planter.

Succulents are safe to ship across the country, they're tough as hell as long as their soil is dry

Edit: a lot of succulents are tough. Aeoniums and other oddball succulents have delicate leaves
 
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I just don't get it. If third worlders can't come into America cause they'll spread their culture, why can America come into the third world and spread their culture when no one asked them to? Wouldn't the same rules of "Go back where you came from" apply? Especially if they're coming in by force, ergo, illegally? Also who decides when a culture is inferior, who decides what's barbaric, who decides what foods can be eaten with your hands when hamburgers exist?
Idk, it's like all encompassing. You can't even just "Go back to Africa" cause they want to follow you there and teach you to act white, but you can never be white and you should be ashamed of that. Also you need to stay away from whites. But you can't hate them, but they can hate you.
It's like the entirety of reality is set up where I have to lay belly side down and just take it, what existence is that. What kind of cruel force of nature would give birth to a race who's only point is to be fucked around with by another race.
It's not a simple subject, I'm sure more learned scholars have better answers to all of your points both philosophically and factually than what I can give you. And I doubt you'll find a unified answer to America spreading its culture in foreign nations, when many american nationals are against America invading countries like Iraq or Afghanistan for multiple different reasons, much less if you asked any national from a country invaded by America.
Who decides if a culture is barbaric? I don't know, I think it's pretty barbaric to circumcise children, regardless of the sex of the child but female genital mutilation is especially heinous because of the sole purpose of controlling a girl/woman, and depriving her of a normal, natural life.

I can't relate to your racial and cultural struggles, as I am neither black nor am I an american and my entire family is deeply rooted in the country I reside in. The only part I can relate to is my mother being adopted and allegedly her biological dad is from Indonesia, but I have nothing in common with Indonesians and I don't share the troubles a person from a diaspora might struggle with.

Why can't you hate white people? Plenty of people hate white people simply on the basis of their skin. Racism doesn't see white skin as sacred. Racism is racism.

I think your identity struggles are very serious and need some help from outside forces. You don't have to like or love yourself, but you cannot change your skin colour. You can't force people to react in a certain way towards you the first time you meet them, you can only change how they perceive you over time. Respect is earned, not freely given. It sucks that you have to struggle with being "one of the good ones" for the rest of your life, but it's a position you've been conditioned into accepting is reality, when it isn't. You need to move away, physically as well as emotionally, from "ghetto mentality". You aren't acting white just because you refuse to be a nigger. You're you.
 
Why can't you hate white people? Plenty of people hate white people simply on the basis of their skin. Racism doesn't see white skin as sacred. Racism is racism.
Cause you're not supposed to, no one likes a black supremacist
I think your identity struggles are very serious and need some help from outside forces. You don't have to like or love yourself, but you cannot change your skin colour. You can't force people to react in a certain way towards you the first time you meet them, you can only change how they perceive you over time. Respect is earned, not freely given. It sucks that you have to struggle with being "one of the good ones" for the rest of your life, but it's a position you've been conditioned into accepting is reality, when it isn't. You need to move away, physically as well as emotionally, from "ghetto mentality". You aren't acting white just because you refuse to be a nigger. You're you.
I don't want people to not assume the worst of me when they force meet me, if anything, I want them to, so I can prove to them that I'm actually good, one of the only good ones. And I'll belong somewhere, finally. But if I do act niggerish they'll call me out and abandon me, so there's an incentive to be good.
But I am a nigger, I've done plenty of niggerish stuff as a teenager, there's no expiration date for nigger behavior. You do it once you're just a nigger.
 
I hate my culture. I'm [insert nationality] and my household is a typical [nationality] supremacy one. The stereotypes about Asians are true that they're all different stripes of fucking insane

It feels like I live in a bizarro world where morals is upside down and I have to constantly remind myself that I'm not insane , people around me are the ones that's insane.

For example the mindset if that if you lose its your fault. Say you go to a hairdresser and they botched your haircut, it's your fault for failing to prevent it by going to a different salon, or if you hit and killed someone but you manage to avoid prison then it's the victim's fault for not avoiding your car when you head towards them.

It's not hyperbole. They actually think like this, not in a joking manner but dead serious. I'm surrounded by lunatics.

I want to leave but I can't because my family member suicide bait and so I'm ended up in this fucking life that I hate every second of. I'm only happy when I don't remember that I'm surrounded by these people.

I'm so fucking sick but I also can't live with myself if this family member actually kill themselves

I hate my life so fucking much and I can't talk to my irl friends about this because they're sick of hearing it. I hate this place. I hate the people around me. There's no moment of joy I have with them. I only feel hatred towards them and their actions.

They have ruined my life and the worst thing I have ever done in my life was listening to their advice because it leads me to exactly where they end up. Fucking miserable, hating everyone, and doing everything to escape the knowledge that this is what their life is now.
 
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Not well. Just got laid off. Was a dead-end job that I hated, but it was more-or-less steady work. I've got my eyes on certain agency listings, but getting employed in that field would destroy any chance I'd ever have of returning to my previous industry in a position with actual upward mobility, and I don't know how long-term these positions will actually be. I'm considering going back to school and finishing the terminal degree in my field, but I honestly don't know how much use that's going to be in the years to come. Just a lot of uncertainty coming my way in the immediate future. I guess this is the lit match under my feet I needed to make some long overdue changes in my life...
 
For example the mindset if that if you lose its your fault. Say you go to a hairdresser and they botched your haircut, it's your fault for failing to prevent it by going to a different salon, or if you hit and killed someone but you manage to avoid prison then it's the victim's fault for not avoiding your car when you head towards them.
Sounds Chinese/Korean, lol.
Honestly, that sucks. Back when I was struggling to get along with my mother, she would notice that and instead of handling things differently (how?) she would loudly say that, oh, I just didn't love her. How could I? She was just such a bad mother...
I ended up not loving her anymore, really. Years passed before I felt a thing. I genuinely thought that I would live the rest of my days not feeling sad, frustrated, embarrassed, ashamed, for not talking to my mother any more than I needed to. But, I don't know, she stopped acting clinically insane and I kind of am starting to love her again? It sounds ridiculous, coming from an adult, but hey. Maybe, some day, your parents will stop acting this way? Although, perhaps not.
I'm yet to tell my mother that I once stopped loving her; and that I am attempting to love her back now. That conversation would most definitely be awkward.

It's 2 AM and I just realized how stupid of a concept dating is.
I downloaded [insert dating app here] and stuck with it for a year or two. It "worked" but finding anyone worthwhile took time; and that's fine, actually! It's hard to describe people with an itemized list the likes of a shopping list, and that's exactly what these apps intend to do. The item, the product, what you're looking for has been so thoroughly reduced to a bunch of tags and short sentences that it's genuinely hard to find "the one" if all you're doing is look at five pictures and read for a minute about them.
Also, there's FOMO. It's not about finding the hottest and smartest person, but it does make you think: if I want to get married, and I'm dating this one person, could I really imagine myself marrying them? And it is this mistake that triggers FOMO, prompting you to never "date seriously" because you don't have enough information. And you never will on the first date!
I'd like to point out that your friends setting you up on dates was fairly common back then, and I bet it still is now; but people don't have as many friends anymore, and that's factual. So it's not just about dating, but developing adequate, healthy, relationships with people (coworkers, friends, boyfriend-girlfriend, etc.).

There are 3 secrets to sleep that normies have no clue about.
TakeThiamine-coded. Wait, did we talk here before? Are you the human person I talked to ages ago?
Regardless of whether that's the case or not, I'm trying NoScroll! I used to spend like, I don't know, four to six hours a day "reading" Xitter posts to learn a thing or two, only to realize that I'm not learning a thing.
Maybe if I just use an AI to go over everything and send me over what's akshually relevant (giving me a so-called digest), I could both save time and finally learn things, too?

My secret is you chug a bunch of laxatives and take a massive shit, like so massive it's traumatizing, and then you'll sleep for days.
I once got scared out of laxatives (not that I've ever taken any anyway) from skimming over a paper that talked about increased cancer rates from laxative usage. And no, I don't mean that using them once will give you ass cancer, but still.

Lots of thoughts on race, like colonization. If migrants aren't allowed to come into the US, why is the US allowed to come into other countries and take over them? This is a genuine question, I'm not even being cheeky. I've been wondering it for a while.
Every time I encounter this argument, I am forced to admit that I have no answer. From whatever little I learned about what is now known as Latin America, lots of indigenous peoples were used as cannon fodder, or the most dangerous forms of human labor, ensuring that anyone that survives is ethnically cleansed through assimilation: pumping out mixed-race kids, which would then have their would-be lesser blood further diluted.
Are there races "superior" to others? It depends on what, say, scale. Jews are, by far, the most ethnocentric and vicious people I've ever had the misfortune of learning about; then there are Asian peoples that seem rather amoral at times, but not as what countless people from "the West" would deem purposely evil. Others may digress.
Then there's the colonialist argument, that those that managed to both explore the world and extract their resources, however much they could at the time, as well as setting up shop there, are the superior peoples. I find that to be entirely reasonable when I compare humans to animals.
As always, one can talk about how, akshually, humans are fundamentally different to animals so we must consider another scale; or none at all. But even if we talk about intelligence or height (which are heavily influenced by nutrient availability and contaminant exposure), strength, knowledge—that's influenced by resource availability, too, which brings the colonialist argument back.
I've been thinking about it, and I don't understand what we as humans are supposed to do in regards to handling the different peoples of the world. If you don't do anything, for instance, millions upon millions more of humans will die of starvation and disease in a given time frame; if we keep dumping resources for them as if we were babysitting them, somewhat proving that some societies require more assistance than others, we'd be creating life; but how much do we want to give to this world, and why?
I've read all kinds of religious arguments, but I'm unsure what we, as wielders of a worldwide civilization we're starting to become as a species, are supposed to do: become trillions of humans on Earth? Kill everyone till our numbers diminish till 500M or so? Solving disease and most lethal, preventable harm from humans? Just let nature do its thing and let everybody die naturally like we've been mostly doing until somewhat recently?
 
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Every time I encounter this argument, I am forced to admit that I have no answer.
My gut answer is simple tit for tat, if third worlders can't come into America, Americans can't come into the third world. If whites can hate browns, browns can hate whites. If American pride exists, Indian/black/Arabian/Hispanic/etc. pride can exist. Either everyone can be hateful, or no one can. Mainly cause I can't think of a logical reason for why whites get a pass on everything but browns don't, but maybe life just isn't always logical and this is one of those things that are just unfair. I remember I saw a farmer once recount on how it was great that more gore videos of black people were coming out and he hoped whites could kill more black people, he acknowledged that there's probably some black people who did nothing wrong, but this is just one of those things that aren't fair in life. Maybe the dynamics of colonization are one of those too.
 
>when the first new paycheck hits after getting hired

images.jpg

It has been almost 2 years, brothers and sisters.
 
Things are going great. Finally got a new therapist and new psychiatrist so I’m pretty excited about that as well. Honestly can’t complain. Glad to have a place where I can say that. Yall some good ones.
I have thought about going to a therapist but I feel it would be waste of time because my heart wouldn't be in it. Is there a certain level of commitment necessary to make therapy viable?
 
Lots of thoughts on race, like colonization. If migrants aren't allowed to come into the US, why is the US allowed to come into other countries and take over them? This is a genuine question, I'm not even being cheeky. I've been wondering it for a while.
This question used to haunt me, as a kid. I hated the "settlers". A curse on you and the boat that brung ya, all that. But i came into understanding of the reality of this world, at the heart. Its blood. And eating. Why were they "allowed"? You don't need permission to take a space, quite the opposite in fact. You need weapons and grit and cunning and tenacity. And the best man wins. And you have to accept that, and be here as the ghost of the losers, until you are not. You have to find a way to reconcile with that. And don't ask anymore questions. They are not welcome, they upset others, and answers will not improve your life.
 
I have thought about going to a therapist but I feel it would be waste of time because my heart wouldn't be in it. Is there a certain level of commitment necessary to make therapy viable?
Yes, I would say they’re definitely is a certain level of commitment necessary. You have to actually be willing to take the advice given and be open with how you’re feeling and how your
processing things, stuff like that. It’s definitely not for everyone and I don’t think it can help everyone, but for the people that it CAN help it can be super useful.
 
Yes, I would say they’re definitely is a certain level of commitment necessary. You have to actually be willing to take the advice given and be open with how you’re feeling and how your
processing things, stuff like that. It’s definitely not for everyone and I don’t think it can help everyone, but for the people that it CAN help it can be super useful.
I think that's it, I just don't believe in therapy. maybe it's my upbringing but I was taught to just suck it up. It would be wasted on me not for lack of trying but for lack of my own effort.

Thank you for your input.
 
This question used to haunt me, as a kid. I hated the "settlers". A curse on you and the boat that brung ya, all that. But i came into understanding of the reality of this world, at the heart. Its blood. And eating. Why were they "allowed"? You don't need permission to take a space, quite the opposite in fact. You need weapons and grit and cunning and tenacity. And the best man wins. And you have to accept that, and be here as the ghost of the losers, until you are not. You have to find a way to reconcile with that. And don't ask anymore questions. They are not welcome, they upset others, and answers will not improve your life.
I just don't get why I have to like it. If someone forcibly takes my home and culture from me, why should I be cool with it? Why should I thank them?
 
You should be cool with it because not being cool with it only hurts you. Nobody else gives a shit, it was a long time ago and everybody involved is long gone. People need to be getting on with things, not muddling around wrestling with old grief for which there can be  no reconciliation. If you're already doomed to be outside no matter what, ffs steal some joy.

The left will cradle your pain and do nothing
The right will rebuke your pain and do nothing

Witness your little piece of the cycle with as little misery as possible. This is an optional misery, and therefore must be cast away. You don't have to like it to let it go.
 
Sounds Chinese/Korean, lol.
Sorry for being a stereotype.

I feel myself becoming more sociopathic day by day because of the people around me makes me feel like I am incompetent and weak for having any moral fibre. I can't adjust to the "If you don't cheat and you lose, it's your fault" mentality even if I'm born into this culture.

I just don't get why I have to like it. If someone forcibly takes my home and culture from me, why should I be cool with it? Why should I thank them?
Stop thinking about it. What do you gain by asking such questions? Does it magically restore your ancestral homeland if you gain insight into the answer? It would change nothing and only bring you misery trying to be a philosoper.

Yeah, a lot of your ancestors got fucked. But that's just how it is. If we all sit around crying about our ancestor's fate then we would be getting nowhere. They're dead now and obsessing about them will not do any good. So start thinking about your own life and how you're going to make it better. I think even if you're the worst, most niggerish specimen of your race, you still can be happy.

Moralizing is for losers. What you deserve is what you get. So if you improve your situation then all the better things in life you obtain is rightfully yours to keep.
 
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