Careercow Robert Chipman / Bob / Moviebob / "Movieblob" - Middle-Aged Consoomer, CWC with a Thesaurus, Ardent Male Feminist and Superior Futurist, the Twice-Fired, the Mario-Worshipper, publicly dismantled by Hot Dog Girl, now a diabetic

[RodgerDodger]

Weren't all the bad guys in the first Guardians black?

Humanist as fuck, massa.

Korath, Ronan's number 2 was black. All the minion bad guys were just humanoid bugs. I'm failing to grasp how any race discussions could possibly be centered around Guardians, considering the race swap everybody to blue, green, purple etc. The ethnicity of the actor involved is completely irrelevant, cause James Gunn has a lot of paint. And he isn't afraid to use it!

 

[Mola Ram]

Korath, Ronan's number 2 was black. All the minion bad guys were just humanoid bugs. I'm failing to grasp how any race discussions could possibly be centered around Guardians, considering the race swap everybody to blue, green, purple etc. The ethnicity of the actor involved is completely irrelevant, cause James Gunn has a lot of paint. And he isn't afraid to use it!

But the hero was still a buff white dude. Blobby's progressive credentials take a hit!

 

[Here to Lurk]

Bob calling millions of people "obsolete" gave me chills. He really is a reverse Pol Pot, isn't he?

A neoliberal talking about ideology... oh the Zizek memes I could post. But I won't

Also, "eaiser than the rest of us can learn to breathe something other than oxygen?" He's trying to say something is easy by comparing it to something that's literally impossible.

 

[The Valeyard]

But the hero was still a buff white dude. Blobby's progressive credentials take a hit!

Starlord's whiteness is balanced out by two POCs (green), an anthropomorphic raccoon and an exceptional tree.

 

[Gordon Cole]

He's got a Valerian video up:

Spoiler: Some notes

* His face is somehow becoming more repulsive to look at.
* He calls the first few minutes "Some of the best visual storytelling anyone has put to film in decades." because Soopeeria Fyoocha. I'm seeing it this weekend, can't wait for that to not be the case.
* "The Mahshin and Gahdians of the Galaxy"
* His editing is just as hopeless as him ever losing weight.
* Apparently he fucked up the title, and it was called: "VALERIAN AND THE CITY OF A THOUSAND THOUSAND PLANETS." at one point.
* He also rags on "Wannabe Rifftrax imitators, smug YouTube snarkers, Razzie yuksters and other assorted low-hanging fruit swatters" and acts smug about "Being right all along five years later". Cause that doesn't feel like shoehorned projection whatsoever.
* Final score: Three stahs.
* His final pose is very autistic:

Even the commentors are done with him:

 

[Wesley Willis]

If he hates so much of the country, he should just move to Canada.

 

[Mola Ram]

I can't tell where the neckbeard ends and the neckfat begins.

 

[Duncan Hills Coffee]

For a YouTube comment, this is actually pretty funny.

 

[Keystone]

* His final pose is very autistic:
View attachment 251079

Is it just me, or does he kind of look like a morbidly obese Moon Man with a touch of downs in this pic?

 

[RodgerDodger]

Is it just me, or does he kind of look like a morbidly obese Moon Man with a touch of downs in this pic?

He looks like a Vogon from that godawful Hollywood Hitchikers Guide movie.

 

[Lorento]

"Obsolete people in useless states"

Blobbenfuhrer becomes more and more like the caricatured social darwinist villain in an 80s dystopia every fucking day

He's like every cliche fantasy villain ever. I bet when he's dying and the doc tells him his heart failure is inevitable he'll scream, "NO! THIS CANNOT BE! I AM INVINCIBLE!"

 

[AngeloTheWizard]

He's like every cliche fantasy villain ever. I bet when he's dying and the doc tells him his heart failure is inevitable he'll scream, "NO! THIS CANNOT BE! I AM INVINCIBLE!"

At which point, according to the Evil Overlord's Handbook which he has clearly never read, the heart failure will occur the moment the word "invincible" (or more accurately "invincibal!" with that fucking accent) leaves his lips.

 

[Gordon Cole]

Ben Affleck signed on to play Batman before he got divorced, and he misspelled "mid-life crisis" but whatever, no projection here.

If he wants the DC Universe to fail, why is he giving them advice? I already know what the answer is.

 

[Mr. Duck]

He's got a Valerian video up:

Spoiler: Some notes

* His face is somehow becoming more repulsive to look at.
* He calls the first few minutes "Some of the best visual storytelling anyone has put to film in decades." because Soopeeria Fyoocha. I'm seeing it this weekend, can't wait for that not be the case.
* "The Mahshin and Gahdians of the Galaxy"
* His editing is just as hopeless as him ever losing weight.
* Apparently he fucked up the title, and it was called: "VALERIAN AND THE CITY OF A THOUSAND THOUSAND PLANETS." at one point.
* He also rags on "Wannabe Rifftrax imitators, smug YouTube snarkers, Razzie yuksters and other assorted low-hanging fruit swatters" and acts smug about "Being right all along five years later". Cause that doesn't feel like shoehorned projection whatsoever.
* Final score: Three stahs.
* His final pose is very autistic:
View attachment 251079

Even the commentors are done with him:
View attachment 251081
View attachment 251080

I wonder if Bob will find a way to blame middle america for Valerian flopping hard on the box office.

 

[Malt Liquor]

I wonder if Bob will find a way to blame middle america for Valerian flopping hard on the box office.

I can already hear him spergin about "Bro attitude" "Toxic Masculinity" "Inferior Past" in a very autistic 48 twit long rant

 

[The Nothingness]

But if Affleck leaves, would that mean Batgirl could be brought in to take Batman's place? Because I don't think WB would bring in someone else to fill that role (this isn't like when the actor who played James Rhodes switched between the first two Iron Man movies).

And how old is Bob again because what person his age says "boondoggle"

 

[NoStinkingBadges]

But if Affleck leaves, would that mean Batgirl could be brought in to take Batman's place? Because I don't think WB would bring in someone else to fill that role (this isn't like when the actor who played James Rhodes switched between the first two Iron Man movies).

And how old is Bob again because what person his age says "boondoggle"

A person who lives with their grandparents

 

[Jewelsmakerguy]

But if Affleck leaves, would that mean Batgirl could be brought in to take Batman's place? Because I don't think WB would bring in someone else to fill that role (this isn't like when the actor who played James Rhodes switched between the first two Iron Man movies).

And how old is Bob again because what person his age says "boondoggle"

Judging from the time period he writes about his childhood in his book, I'd hazard a guess at mid-late 30s at least.

Either way, he's too damn old to be giving a shit about half the things he rants about.

 

[AnOminous]

But if Affleck leaves, would that mean Batgirl could be brought in to take Batman's place? Because I don't think WB would bring in someone else to fill that role (this isn't like when the actor who played James Rhodes switched between the first two Iron Man movies).

And how old is Bob again because what person his age says "boondoggle"

It's a perfectly cromulent word. So is "hornswoggle."

 

[Mola Ram]

And how old is Bob again because what person his age says "boondoggle"

Hey ... nothing wrong with peppering your speech with a few 19th century spices, you wretched slumgullion.