LGBT 4/10 - Chris Comes out as Bisexual

[ThePurpleProse]

Hhahaahaaha the comments on twatter man

 

[Peepee]

Incredible poetic justice in the way this is unfolding. After years and years of Chris going "I'm STRAIGHT" and doing everything within his abilities to make sure there could be no doubts about his sexual orientation, he has now willfully created a bizarre cliffhanger where nobody fucking knows for certain.

I've always been of the opinion that Chris really is straight and everything else has stemmed from a bad combination of insecurity and conditioned homophobia and perhaps gender dysphoria and very mild bisexual impulses that were handled in the worst way imaginable due to autism and growing up around a bunch of backwards rednecks.

Now? Who the hell knows.

 

[Hell0]

Hey, Congrats Christine.

 

[Phil Ken Sebben]

Hhahaahaaha the comments on twatter man

View attachment 424150

Oh that's perfect. Although Chris has more hair.

 

[The Iconoclast]

(timestamped)

Every time I think of Chris and "gay", this is what I think of.

I'd say "how long will this last?", but given he's doing it for his 'sweethearts'...

 

[BV 937]

RIP straight path

 

[uncleShitHeel]

I want a Chris-chan fighting video game where you can pit Christine against Chris.

You mean a literal austitic slap fight? Id pay money to see that.

 

[Marvin]

I personally believe this strengthens a hunch I've had for a while, namely that this is one of many incidents in which Chris mistakes compassion and people acting in a friendly/charismatic way for someone taking a romantic interest in him, case in point: the Megan saga, in which he mistook Megan's friendship for romantic interest.

Chris didn't mistake Megan's friendship for romantic interest. Chris himself was romantically interested in her, but he didn't express a belief that she was reciprocating.

I'd personally wager this saga might last a while, as I've observed Chris jumping to increasingly desperate tactics in order to loose his virginity.

Chris lost his virginity years ago.

 

[araiguma]

aw cute. Maybe he can get a tranny chaser bf now

 

[Mariposa Electrique]

Chris didn't mistake Megan's friendship for romantic interest. Chris himself was romantically interested in her, but he didn't express a belief that she was reciprocating.

So, Chris' reasoning, "I know she's not interested in me, but I know she could be if try hard enough", sounds very similar to Chris being delusional about Megan's feelings toward him.

aw cute. Maybe he can get a tranny chaser bf now

Let's introduce him to Timbo Whitbeck. They could get their tugboats together and stock up on Astroglide for the next 10 years.

 

[Jack Awful]

I'm thinking Seth Rogan

Rogan doesn't have the acting prowess to gain 50 lbs, poorly dye his hair green, and pierce his taint improperly so it gets infected. Multiple times.

 

[Mariposa Electrique]

Rogan doesn't have the acting prowess to gain 50 lbs, poorly dye his hair green, and pierce his taint improperly so it gets infected. Multiple times.

Ron Jeremy would be great, minus the genital size.

 

[Schwarzhaar]

literally four days later
holy shit

Goddamnit. I was about to say, what's next, pagan and vegan? But then I realised Christine would literally only eat potatoes and die if she tried to go vegan.

Anyway, look out, fellas.

Chris eating potatoes? I dunno. I didn't imagine him to be the cannabalistic type.

 

[Marvin]

So, Chris' reasoning, "I know she's not interested in me, but I know she could be if try hard enough", sounds very similar to Chris being delusional about Megan's feelings toward him.

To well adjusted people, certainly, it might as well be the same thing.

But if we're talking lolcows, and specifically Chris, I think it's an important distinction because I think a lot of people believe that Chris actually thinks "she wants to suck on my penis, I think she even said that right now". Like that level of "literally", y'know?

If you understand that Chris doesn't literally believe Megan wants to fuck him and that he's aware that she's merely a friend, then where does that leave us?

It means Chris is like any other garden variety neckbeard who complains about the friend zone. Neckbeards believe that spending time with women will cause them to gradually change their minds, like how it happens in their japanese animes. Or like in romcoms like Pretty Woman.

The main difference is that Chris is way funnier and way more obvious about it than your average neckbeard.

 

[Stephanie Bustcakes]

One more piece of evidence that Chris is really an Andy Kaufman character.

 

[Jaiman]

Finally, I can fuck Chris without having to force it on him.

 

[Null]

All you had to do was follow the damn train CJ.

 

[MrTroll]

One more piece of evidence that Chris is really an Andy Kaufman character.

But unlike Andy Kaufman, Chris is actually funny.

 

[Hummingbird]

This post, and the one about flat chests, reek of Idea Guy 2.0. Something's not right, I suspect.



I'd back it. A CWC fighting game would be amazing.

If anyone knows how to run MUGEN, this needs to happen.

 

[QWaffen]

Reminder, Chris sent us plenty of hints