Careercow Robert Chipman / Bob / Moviebob / "Movieblob" - Middle-Aged Consoomer, CWC with a Thesaurus, Ardent Male Feminist and Superior Futurist, the Twice-Fired, the Mario-Worshipper, publicly dismantled by Hot Dog Girl, now a diabetic

How will Bob react to seeing the Mario film?

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LastOfTheMohicans said:
Let's humor Bob for a moment.

I'll near-guarantee he is in the 22% tax bracket, if Geek.com and Screen whatever the fuck pay him enough to put his earnings over 83k I'm going to have a stroke at the fact that he complains about money troubles.

So he pays 22% taxes like me. He also pays the other half of medicare and social security. Usually you pay half while your employer pays the other half. He's self employed so he pays both halves.

We do have to make some assumptions so that we're not going crazy with math and unknown variables:
  • His only income is Patreon
  • His current Patreon income ($4,564/mo) is consistent through the year.
At a base level, Google's quick calculator says he should make about $54,768 this year.
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There are several online calculators that help determine how much you pay in your self-employment taxes. I've used the one provided by TaxACT. According to this calculator, he will be paying $7738 over the course of a year.
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That's ALREADY not nearly as bad as you would think. But remember, your self-employment tax is really just the fact that, since you are your own employer, you have to pay both halves of medicare and social security. So, really, when it comes to how much worse he has it than people who get W-2's, it's really only half that, or $3,869, according to google dot com's calculator, but I'll stop posting screenshots.

Now, let's amortize that out even further, because that's three thousand, eight hundred sixty-nine United States Petrodollars over the course of a year he pays in more taxes than someone who gets a W-2. According to my trusty numbermajig he's paying $322.42 per month more than standard waged employees.

Cry me a fucking river, Bob. You can't fit $330 a month out of $4600 into your damn budget? Not to mention the amount you fucking spend on stupid video game ephemera and seeing Marvel capeshit movies like Black Panther ten times -- BECAUSE IT'S YOUR JOB -- that you can itemize as deductions you probably get to pay even less than me in taxes.

Learn to manage your money.
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Hey, McNuggets ain't free. That 300 extra dollars a month could pay for 60 bags of 20 piece nuggets (or enough to feed Bob for two whole days.)
 
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BubbleButt said:
Garfield Warriors made me go blind with rage for a few seconds because I know he's not memeing.
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All I can imagine is Jon being filleted like a fish for not coughing up the grub on lasagna night and it brings a smile to my face.
 
Sexy Times Hitler said:
Feminist.
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Damn it, I was going to suggest Bob had a mountain of debt but I didn't want to just take random guesses.

With how little self control Bob has he probably has a shit ton of credit card debt from before he started earning good money from Patreon, and student loan debt on top of that.
 
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Reactions: Pokemonquistador, Kyria the Great and BubbleButt
Save the Loli said:
Why does Bob bitch about paying taxes when he's the one who wants a big government which needs more taxes to pay for welfare and shit? Where does Bob think the money to fund government programs comes from, especially if superior companies like Amazon and Disney deserve tons of tax breaks?
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Simple. They'll tax the rich...but only those like Trump and not Superior progressive leaders of our 21st century world.
 
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Reactions: BR55, Kyria the Great, ChevroletBlackboard and 1 other person
On the subject of the poll again, I don't agree that if Dobson took over Bob's account we wouldn't notice the difference, because although they're very similar physically (I pointed out earlier in the thread that Bob looks like a cross between Dobbo and DSP) and mentally, there is an important difference. Please note that my knowledge of Dobson is cursory compared to my knowledge of Bob so if a long-term user wants to correct me on any of this, go ahead.

Firstly, I think Dobson is far more consumed with self-hatred that Bob is. Despite all his rants about fucking white males, Bob still retains a streak of pride that I think Dobson lost a long time ago.

Secondly, Dobson is a lot more pathetic than Bob. When I say pathetic, I don't just mean how he is as a person, because in that respect he's roughly equal to Bob (some might say less so since he actually managed to get laid). I mean in terms of how he writes on Twitter. When Dobson goes on a screed about how white people should go extinct, it's written in an utterly despairing tone and you can tell that a large reason of why he's saying it is because he's trying way too hard to appease his SJW overlords. When Bob does it, there's genuine anger, hatred and vitriol behind it.

That's what separates the two of them for me, and this was pointed out in the OP too. Bob is an angry, borderline megalomaniacal man. Dobson is a downtrodden shell of a man.
 
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Sexy Times Hitler said:
Because heaven forbid we still talk to our loved ones despite political disagreements.
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What exactly is his point here? Is it as Sexy implies that you should cut off your friends and relatives over political disagreement? Is he really that childish and narrow minded? Is his perspective that fucked?

Well the previous 1200 pages seem to indicate yes, and yes.

But what gets me is this is a guy who very recently lost his own father. Were the two of them in lockstep agreement over everything? If Chipman Senior had voted Trump and Bob had cut him off, how would he feel now that he's gone? Would he snort a "good riddance, Obscolescent!" and go back to sperging out over garbage movies? I wonder.

Dr. Dik said:
"Suppressing votes" is just Democrat speak for "too dumb or lazy to get an ID."
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This is such a horseshit argument and security blanket for Democrats salty over Hillary losing. First of all it assumes all 200,000 of those votes were Democratic shoo-ins. Second of all, flipping Wisconsin doesn't get her Pennsylvania, Michigan, or Florida. Voter ID fuck her in all of those states too, Bob? Third of all, and this is where I actually feel sympathy for Democrats, it doesn't excuse her sheer political malpractice in failing to campaign in a state that was crucial to victory and spending so much time and money running up the scoreboard in states she was never going to lose.

Bob's failure to accept Hilldog ran a crappy campaign is hardly unique, but his ignorance does make his smugness about it all the more absurd.
 
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A slapfight with an especially assholish Bob.
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"MEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!"
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He's literally advocating for the curtailing of the Midwest- removing their ability to vote and at times arguing for straight up killing them (be it financially by destroying their livelihoods, letting them die out or I think at least once straight up murder).

But sure, Bob's not advocating for eugenics. Let's ignore that in any society that does engage in eugenics, he would be the first person removed from the gene pool due to being an obese diabetic. Traits that the Superior Future kinda want to curtail.
 
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neural said:
Yours and @Godzilla@1989's are equally :horrifying:.

Also, I see someone voted :islamic: without adding a story, come on dude, you know you want to.
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I got some pretty more fucked up :islamic: content to add about Bob and Dobson, if your heart desires.

I could see Bob dressing up as Mario and Dobson as Hillary and fuck him in the ass. Then they French kiss while they eat McNuggets and greasy Big Macs at the same time together.

To finish it off, then eat each other's stinky, smelly asses, with Bob giving Dobson the rimming of the lifetime.
 
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  • Horrifying
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REGENDarySumanai said:
The fact that he is unaware of Romance of the Three Kingdoms is hilarious, considering how much he fetishizes China. However, it is one of China's four literary classics, and we all know that Bob does not read.
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He's Moviebob, right? Why doesn't he watch any of the huge number of Chinese, Korean, or Japanese movies or TV shows related to it? Or just keep playing Dynasty Warriors or Romance of the Three Kingdoms or any other of the huge number of video games based on it? For a guy who says we need to learn Mandarin once China replaces obsolete America, he isn't doing a good job getting into the graces of his future overlords.
 
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Reactions: Adamska, Flexo, Positron and 1 other person
Save the Loli said:
He's Moviebob, right? Why doesn't he watch any of the huge number of Chinese, Korean, or Japanese movies or TV shows related to it? Or just keep playing Dynasty Warriors or Romance of the Three Kingdoms or any other of the huge number of video games based on it? For a guy who says we need to learn Mandarin once China replaces obsolete America, he isn't doing a good job getting into the graces of his future overlords.
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You reminded me: I feel like we're glossing over the fact that

a) Bob insinuated Chinese accents on ladies turn him on, and, less horrifyingly but more hilariously,

b) collection agencies are after him.
 
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