Jace Connors vs The Middle East - A Choose Your Own Adventure thread

[Seattle Trip to Neverfree]

I had the pleasure of hosting a few 'Choose Your Own Adventure' threads when they were hot shit on /b/. Now, I'm in the mood of hosting one more for old times sake, but this time for the good folks here on the CWCkiforums.

Since this isn't /b/, of course I'll tame down the content and character choices, but I'll still try to be as descriptive and graphic without being too spergy. After all, I want this to be entertaining and engaging.

Rules:
- Option with the most likes wins.
- Please like a suggestion if it has already been posted; don't post duplicate suggestions.
- I'm open to doing multiple actions so long as there is enough support for both and they don't contradict each other, or player suggestions for the above reasons.
- EDIT: You have an inventory that can be accessed at any time. You may also interact with the inventory for hilarious results. You also have a status bar that may affect the story depending on how often it is used.

Anything I've missed, I'll add here with an EDIT. Check back to this post occasionally to see if there have been any updates.

Lets begin.

______________________________________________

Dawn. A ray of light shines over your eyes as you stir from slumber. Today is the day that will change your life forever. Generic initial post descriptions here that nobody really cares about and doesnt add to the story.

Who/what are you?

A - a young warrior of ancient times, about to go into battle for the first time.
B - an assassin, about to take out the head of a powerful nation, (modern or historical times, players choose)
C - a wasp queen, on the day she decides to build a new nest
D - a noble in the court of an past great ruler
E - an explorer, who discovers land after many weeks at sea
F - a trader in an ancient port city
G - a young lion in the savannah, about to challenge the alpha to become head of the pride
H - everyone's favourite autistic manchild, Christian Weston Chandler
I - Jace 'Skryker' Connors, Deagle expert, and #1 spec-op for the United States MUH-reens
J - Gave 'Moleman' Navarro, the champion of ending online stalking and bullying
K - another character of your choice

 

[KingofManga420]

I am E.

 

[Surtur]

I - I am pressing one so hard right now.

 

[Seattle Trip to Neverfree]

I - I am pressing one so hard right now.

The tribe has spoken. You are JACE 'STRYKER' CONNORS. Forgive me of the story is slow or boring at first, it will get more fun once we get to the action and finish establishing the story.

______

The hot desert sunrise burns on your face, but you don't care. You're Jace Connors, aka Commander Stryker, aka Deaglez Nutz, United States MUHreen, deagle-ops specialist, and the baddest motherfucker this side of Kabul. You graduated top of your class in the Marine Corps, and have been involved in numerous secret raids on Al-Quaeda, as well as over 300 confirmed kills. Your now Commanding Officer, General Katsu 'Hogan' Null, was so impressed with your skills (and flash tacticool sunglasses), he demanded your immediate transfer to his command. And just last night, you were informed that you would be given a top secret mission that would change the course of the War on Terror®, and to report for duty first thing in the morning.

You rise and promptly dress for duty. You feel a Rambo sequence coming on as you suit up: airsoft Desert Eagle at your hip, 'Semper Fi' engraved combat knife on your lower leg, and instead of a bandana, you slide on your tactical sunglasses. You also pocket a bottle of liquid THC. Black market shit, real strong, so illegal even a MUHreen like Jace Connors would be court-marshalled if he was caught with it. But you won't, Youre too good for that. If your mom never caught you with it, how could the MPs?

You then step out of the tent and into the desert sun, closing the flap behind you. What do you do?

A - report for duty immediately
B - go practice with deagles at the firing range
C - take some THC (secretly)
D - start cursing loudly at no one in particular
E - players choice (im not that well versed in Jace lore, so I'll always give you the option if you feel none of my choices are really Jace-y)

Health: 100%
Status: Tacticool

Inventory:
- Standard issue MUHreen uniform
- Airsoft deagle (no ammo)
- 'Semper Fi' engraved combat knife
- Tactical Sunglasses
- Liquid THC (One months supply)

 

[Le Bateleur]

A

Jace interacting with authority is amusing.

 

[exball]

D

 

[Fialovy]

I'll pick A

 

[c-no]

I'm going with D.

 

[Randall Fragg]

C. Please.

 

[Grand Number of Pounds]

E - see what unknown soldier Tyce is up to

 

[Saney]

I'll be the tiebreaker. A.

 

[Dio Brando]

I also choose A

 

[Seattle Trip to Neverfree]

Just a friendly reminder that following this rule will remove a lot of clutter and unnecessary posts in this thread:

Please like a suggestion if it has already been posted; don't post duplicate suggestions.

That said, lets continue
_____

You begin marching towards the COs tent, breaking into a chorus of cursing and screaming along the way. Most people you pass look up, see it's you, and look down again. Smart of them, as you've capped people for less than giving you dirty stares, like that one time you no-scoped your mom because she took away your Xbox.

You enter the COs tent still cursing, but stop when the General raises a hand. It's not that you want to, but because you're a true MUHreen and you respect the code.

"Connors", the General starts, "I have a top secret mission for you that could make or break the entire Middle East, and you're the best damn man we have for the job. Unfortunately I cannot tell you until after you accept the mission, but if you succeed, I promise you will never be want for anything once you get home. Will you accept this mission?"

A - Yes
B - Hell yes!
C - Semper Fi!
D - No
E - Say no by taking a shit on his desk
F - Accept, but shit on his desk anyway
G - player decided action

 

[c-no]

I choose F.

 

[exball]

This is what happens when people don't read the rules I've laid down.

Please like a suggestion if it has already been posted; don't post duplicate suggestions.

I choose F.

F

You people.

 

[c-no]

F

Just to quote OP:

Please like a suggestion if it has already been posted; don't post duplicate suggestions.

 

[Mourning Dove]

Whoops my bad this is what happen if I just skim a thread lol. Deleting that post now.

 

[Seattle Trip to Neverfree]

Whoops my bad this is what happen if I just skim a thread lol. Deleting that post now.

Salright, didn't mean to sound so condescending in that post either. I'll edit it now, then write the next part.

 

[Seattle Trip to Neverfree]

You respond to General Null's request by unbuckling your belt and taking massive, steamy dump on his desk. The ground shakes as you ejaculate the fresh turf from your anus. The General recoils in horror at this massive undertaking, but manages to compose himself (though fails to hide a few dry retches). It comes out clean, so you don't need to wipe.

"That's what I'm going to do to those filthy A-rab terrorists", you grunt, feeling awfully proud of yourself.

General Null nods in disgusted approval. He hands you a file with the words 'TOP SECRET - FOR STRYKERS EYES ONLY' printed in bold red on top. "This comes all the way from the top. Even I don't know what you mission is. All I know is to do anything you ask... within reason and sanity", he promptly adds.

You open the file. All that is inside is a white sheet of paper with a message printed on it, a picture of what appears to be a compound or facility, and a grain photograph of two figures, one of which you recognise very well.

"To Commander Jace 'Stryker' Connors,

Your old comrade in arms, Tyce Andrews, has defected to the enemy, and is known to be colluding with Odumba bin Laden, the twin of Osama bin Laden. He has taken with him all the greatest secrets of the United States and the Marine Corps, and will use them to strike back against us and you.

Your mission is to infiltrate the compound located outside of the village of Durkabad, assassinate Odumba, recover our secrets, and destroy the compound. If you can bring in Tyce Andrews alive, that would be good too, but dead is also acceptable if absolutely necessary.

The entire armoury of the United States Military is at your disposal. God Speed."

You inform the General that you are to be taken to the armoury to suit up for the mission. He dismisses you, one eye on the dump still sitting on his desk, and you waddle out, your pants still tucked around your ankles.

.........

You gear up: duel-wielding deagles at each hip, 50 clips of ammunition on your belt, the latest combat battle armour and bullet-proof do-rag, explosive, incendiary and smoke grenades, and your trusty 'Semper Fi' knife at your shin. You are ready to rock. All you have to do is get there. The village is over 200km (120mi) away from your base, and time is of the essence. But you're Jace Connors, fuck that noise, you'll go in however you like. How do you want to infiltrate the base?

A - Parachute in at night
B - Dropped in by chopper at night
C - Frontal assault with a battle tank
D - Humvee with auto-aiming RPGs on the back
E - Quadbike with multiple fully-automatic Deagle attachments
F - Infiltrate on foot, like Solid Snake
G - Players choice

-

Health: 100%
Status: Bad Motherfucker

Inventory:
- 31337 MUHreen armour
- Bulletproof do-rag
- Tactical sunglasses with night and heat vision options
- Duel deagles (50 clips of ammunition)
- Airsoft deagle (looks realistic as fuck though)
- 'Semper Fi' knife
- Explosive Grenades (x4)
- Incendiary Grenades (x4)
- Smoke Grenades (x4)
- Walkie Talkie
- Liquid THC

 

[Saney]

G-Run in screaming and flailing weapons.