Careercow Robert Chipman / Bob / Moviebob / "Movieblob" - Middle-Aged Consoomer, CWC with a Thesaurus, Ardent Male Feminist and Superior Futurist, the Twice-Fired, the Mario-Worshipper, publicly dismantled by Hot Dog Girl, now a diabetic

[thismanlies]

What do we call this phase? I've got some suggestions:

Moviebob: Escape 2 The Escapist
The Escapist 2: Armed & Flabulous
The Escapist 2: The Fattening
Escapist 2: Electric Moobaloo
The Escapist: The SquREEEEEEEEEEEquel

The Escapist 2: Fall of the Footless Fuhrer
The Escapist 2: Screech of the Superior Future
The Escapist 2: March of the Mayonnaise Ghoul

 

[AZ 594]

"Internet: I WIN" - Bob Chipman, a 37-year old man who lives in a basement.
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Assuming he's right, congratulations Bob.

 

[WaltherPPGAY]

Bob screwing himself solely as a means to get a win over GG is perfectly in character.

 

[Flexo]

What do we call this phase? I've got some suggestions:

Moviebob: Escape 2 The Escapist
The Escapist 2: Armed & Flabulous
The Escapist 2: The Fattening
Escapist 2: Electric Moobaloo
The Escapist: The SquREEEEEEEEEEEquel

NOW we have our poll idea. Who is in charge of that?

 

[RockVolnutt]

He can fucking wish they'll rehire him. His FTC complain puts him on the "Never to hire" list. Especially since he doesn't shut the fuck up about politics on Twitter, and that can get problematic. Is he really that delusional?

Plus there's no way in hell you'd ever get Bob to shut up about politics. He's already the type that dives head first into the "Everything is inherently political" meme despite "everything" not including everything like the existence of atoms or blinking and by "inherent", they only mean through their personal view which means it's not an inherent quality. Claiming man makes things an inherent quality is objectively wrong even with art, a tree painting can easily outlive any politics that could theoretically be associated. Unless you're going to claim the universe ends with you, of course.

The day using any variation of that phrase results in immediate mocking for being a pseudo-intellectual is one I hope comes soon.

 

[LN 910]

Bob should remove the Movie out of Bob because he clearly lacks the knowledge of filmmaking like he does with politics. He's as qualified to talk about movies and politics as Kathleen Kennedy is with running Lucasfilm.

Implying he has knowledge of anything.

 

[BubbleButt]

But didn't The Escapist basically die a horrible, horrible death and thus it means no one wants it around?

That would mean... oh, dear... that would mean it's "obsolete"!

 

[LN 910]

Wait a second, first I thought you were being serious, then I thought it was a joke, and now I'm just baffled. They're really rehiring Moviebob? He's a horrible contributor, and he's a fascist. Are they really that much in the shitter?

 

[Fuck you jewish cunt]

But didn't The Escapist basically die a horrible, horrible death and thus it means no one wants it around?

That would mean... oh, dear... that would mean it's "obsolete"!

it's like the escapist is trying to find new ways to lose even more fans!

 

[Gordon Cole]

1.) "Bad faith" is still his go-to argument for people criticizing him/his views.

2.) You can't "stay tuned" on the internet.

3.) This revamp sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.

4.) Sweet, less work for me.

 

[Fuck you jewish cunt]

1.) "Bad faith" is still his go-to argument for people criticizing him/his views.

2.) You can't "stay tuned" on the internet.

3.) This revamp sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.

4.) Sweet, less work for me.
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"So twitter fights are gonna be a much smaller part of my day."
That is legitimately depressing

 

[BubbleButt]

"So twitter fights are gonna be a much smaller part of my day."

Less Twitter fights is incredibly

 

[Kyria the Great]

"So twitter fights are gonna be a much smaller part of my day."
That is legitimately depressing

Though do you honestly think that Bob will keep to that end of this? This is Bob Chipman we are talking about.

 

[Pokemonquistador]

Hiring Bob to write articles for your apolitical website is like hiring Hitler to make the speech at your Bar Mitzvah.

And Bob, you haven't won ANYTHING! You've got bad genetics, bad eating habits that led to diabeetus, a shitty junior college degree, you live with relatives in a basement that floods and you have the personality of a rabid badger with a sore tooth. Despite this, your life is not a complete disaster; you have a seemingly well-adjusted family who not only tolerate your presence, they actually seem to like you, invite you to their family functions, and allow their children to visit with you, despite you looking like a balding, pedo Frankenstein. You've managed to get some important pop-culture figures to recognize you. You can set your own schedule. You make enough money from your flaky fans and your fakey reviewing job to live in a fashionable, expensive city chock full of amenities and you can afford all kinds of pop culture crap. You are basically the Bizarro Universe version of Job, having had far more luck and good fortune in your 37 years, than a man like you rightfully deserves.

And yet, you've lost, Bob. You've lost because, in spite of all of this , you are miserable. You spend every waking free moment of your life hunched over, mashing your hate into a smartphone. There are people paralyzed from the neck down and suffering from terminal cancer who are happier than you on a consistent basis. There are people who have suffered torture and tragedy at the hands of evil regimes who have far more compassion for their tormentors than you have for the people who talk back to you on Twitter. You call people who are legitimately concerned for their families' interests and their cultural traditions EVIL RACISTS, BIGOTS AND NAZIS because they refuse to roll over and die to make room for the Mexican serfs you hope to import by the millions to work on your Moon Wheat Plantations.

Working at the Escapist won't make you one iota happier, Bob. Having every one of your inane "80's children's franchise meets high-concept idea" movie writeups bought up by movie studios and turned into big-budget blockbusters won't make you one iota happier, Bob. Having Donald Blumpf bound and delivered to you and every evangelical redneck captured and forced to build (brick by brick,) the full size replica of Princess Peach's castle from Mario 64 that will serve as your Supervillain Lair will not make you ONE IOTA HAPPIER, BOB!

Because the only way to be truly happy in this world, is to have a genuine connection to other people. To be open minded and to see yourself as others might see you; to extend the hand of forgiveness to those who truly regret their evil actions. To value people over politics, and to seek out solutions that bring real good into the world, even at the cost of your own interests and ego. You probably think you're already doing this, but if so, ask yourself: why are you so angry all of the time? Why do you spend so much of your time typing bile on Twitter and so little of your time enjoying the bounty that life has gifted you with? Hell isn't just a place you go to when you die; it can be a place you create for yourself, here on Earth. It is a heart without love.

(Sorry for the length. I probably should have spoilered this. Oh well....)

 

[Red Hood]

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You strike me as a liability and a fat piece of shit, Bob.

 

[Clay Claymore]

What do we call this phase? I've got some suggestions:

Moviebob: Escape 2 The Escapist
The Escapist 2: Armed & Flabulous
The Escapist 2: The Fattening
Escapist 2: Electric Moobaloo
The Escapist: The SquREEEEEEEEEEEquel

Since Bob is such a shill for Marvel movies, I’m thinking it should have a comic book twist to it. I’ve never been great at wordplay and I’m sure you guys can probably come up with something better, but here are a few I came up with.

Moviebob v. Escapist: Dawn of LOLs
Moviebob and the Escapist: Vol. 2
Escapist: The Dark Bob
Escapist: Civil War
Fat-Man and the Escapist
MovieBob: Homecoming

Anyway, those of the best I could come with.

1.) "Bad faith" is still his go-to argument for people criticizing him/his views.

2.) You can't "stay tuned" on the internet.

3.) This revamp sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.

4.) Sweet, less work for me.
View attachment 504757

“Twitter fights are gonna be a much smaller part of my day...”

I give him two days tops.

 

[thismanlies]

1.) "Bad faith" is still his go-to argument for people criticizing him/his views.

2.) You can't "stay tuned" on the internet.

3.) This revamp sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.

4.) Sweet, less work for me.
View attachment 504757

"Twitter fights are gonna be a MUCH smaller part of my day."

Let's see... Bob's thread was started on December 29th, 2017. There are cows whom K-Farmers have been aware of for years who don't have 1400+ pages on their threads and counting. If Bob can hold the growth of his thread to... let's say... 700 pages a year (as opposed to the 1467 his sperging has managed to accumulate in less than a year), then maybe I can believe he wants to keep his spergery under control.

Edit: For some reason, Kiwi Farms has the OP dated on 12-29-17. But the post under it is dated 11-11-2014. Boy do I feel like a fool tonight.

 

[Gordon Cole]

For the love of Christ, please stop projecting your fetishes to the world.

How do you look more exceptional than Noah Berlatsky?

MovieBob: Homecoming

I like that one, it's clever.

"Twitter fights are gonna be a MUCH smaller part of my day."

Let's see... Bob's thread was started on December 29th, 2017. There are cows whom K-Farmers have been aware of for years who don't have 1400+ pages on their threads and counting. If Bob can hold the growth of his thread to... let's say... 700 pages a year (as opposed to the 1467 his sperging has managed to accumulate in less than a year), then maybe I can believe he wants to keep his spergery under control.

Edit: For some reason, Kiwi Farms has the OP dated on 12-29-17. But the post under it is dated 11-11-2014. Boy do I feel like a fool tonight.

The original OP was replaced with the one @neural wrote late last year.

 

[Rathkor]

Something to keep in mind about the escapist revival and moviebob: the escapist is now being run again by russ pit, the same guy who ran off a TON of content creators, including extra credits at the HEIGHT of their popularity, by not paying them. Because they couldnt afford to. During russ's tenure, the escapist was at the height of the its popularity, they were still unable to make enough money to pay their talent.

 

[Flexo]

How do you look more exceptional than Noah Berlatsky?

Now this cracks me up. Whenever I've gotten into an argument with left-leaning folks about voter fraud, one common reply is "what incentive would people have to commit a felony?"

Good ole Noah now provides us at least one.

I could also see some of those busing services ripping the people off they take to the polls (by accepting the voters' 20, then passing on say... a 5 to the actual voter).