Careercow Robert Chipman / Bob / Moviebob / "Movieblob" - Middle-Aged Consoomer, CWC with a Thesaurus, Ardent Male Feminist and Superior Futurist, the Twice-Fired, the Mario-Worshipper, publicly dismantled by Hot Dog Girl, now a diabetic

[Hasuke]

Bob Chipman?? More like Bob Chimpman.

I am sorry for this terrible joke.

 

[Sissy Galvez]

No more white actors, only Asians and blacks!! (Look how woke I am) - MovieBlob

 

[Judge Dredd]

There are some Bowsette fanarts from before the Nintendo Direct, it's just that Nintendo opened the floodgates. So he predicted something that already happened.

 

[Mola Ram]

No more white actors, only Asians and blacks!! (Look how woke I am) - MovieBlob

You missed the part where he said it'd be cheaper labor.

Bob Chipman: secret Chamber of Commerce member.

 

[Sissy Galvez]

You missed the part where he said it'd be cheaper labor.

Bob Chipman: secret Chamber of Commerce member.

Haha did he really say that?

Jesus that’s mindnumbingly dumb and racist

 

[LaughingJoke]

Not going to bash Schumacher comic book fans have done that enough he's a good director dude made Falling Down a film I imagine Bob hates and he did what the studio wanted made bright toy commercials. But Batmann Forever and Batman and Robin are bad and I don't hate camp I love the Adam West Batman movie. Bob saying Batman Forever and Batman and Robin aren't bad but trashing Nolan's DK Trilogy, the DCEU, anything Spider-Man that's no Raimi, and Fox Marvel movies prove how this man is an idiot and allows his own bias influence his criticism and thus awful at his "job".

As for race swapping the MCU yeah good luck Bob the Ancient One was race swapped because in the comics the old Asian dude was Tibetan and Marvel Studios didn't want to piss off China it was about money just like how Iron Man 3 had a subplot involving an Chinese Scientist in the China version. Feige isn't as woke as the left thinks he's all for minority characters but will also just give meaningless lip service to the SJW crowd while doing what will make Marvel Studios most successful.

 

[Flexo]

Haha did he really say that?

Yes. Bottom tweet here.

 

[cypocryphy]

Was it "Yoshi's Island" that subverted Bob's expectations by having Mario be born in the mushroom kingdom?

 

[Mola Ram]

Haha did he really say that?

He says something about non-white talent not commanding Robert Downey Jr. levels of compensation. It's as fair an interpretation as he tends to give others.

 

[A Random]

Was it "Yoshi's Island" that subverted Bob's expectations by having Mario be born in the mushroom kingdom?

Yes. Honestly, might as well post the entire thing about it, so you can see just how much it truly affects him. [To boot, this is where he brings up the goddamn Vietnam reference.]

THINGS FALL APART

High school (and junior high before it) was not quite the party that “Saved By The Bell” and John Hughes had promised my generation, to say the least. I was still locked into the Catholic School track (my brother would be in junior high before our parents figured out it just wasn’t worth it), but whereas my primary school had been an uneventful little place, my high school was another story: private and Catholic, but still very much “downtown,” mostly populated by Italian, Irish and Greek hoodlums whose families mainly paid tuition to keep them from having to go to the same schools as the somehow “worse” Black and Latino hoodlums.

In my memories, the Great Console Wars dragged on like my own private Vietnam, and it didn’t help that I was still constantly in trouble at school and in and out of therapy at the time for anger, attention and authority issues. However, it really only lasted a couple of years.

In 1994 the Sony Playstation came out. Unlike countless “third challenger” consoles before, it stuck around. The “war” was now more of a scattershot fracas, and since this was the booming Clinton Economy it was less unusual to see more than one brand of console to a household—particularly since “Generation NES” was speeding toward young-adulthood with pockets full of their own disposable income.

The “identity” conflict of the Mario vs. Sonic days gave way to a “maturity” conflict: Sony, the first successful challenger from outside the gaming-only business, built the Playstation (which, for reasons I forget, we felt obligated to shorthand as “PSX” at the time) to look more like a VCR or Stereo from a distance and utilize CDs instead of cartridges. That plus marketing campaigns emphasizing sports sims and other games targeted at older teens and college students drew a stark contrast between their machine and those from Nintendo or Sega with their candy-colored exteriors, toy guns and inescapable legacy as having originated as childhood playthings. The symbolism was unavoidable: Playstation gaming said “I’m a gamer, but I’ve grown up.” Still having your SNES plugged in? You might as well still be sleeping with a teddy bear.

What made it especially rough (not AS rough, I stress, as the more universal miseries of junior high and high school life) for me was how true that “symbolism” actually was. To be a “geek” about anything usually requires a level of investment that originates most often in childhood, meaning that “geek culture” is largely a culture of people holding on to vestigial pieces of their own childhoods. I still played video games because I still loved them, and I still loved them because I’d loved them as a kid and they allowed me to revisit that feeling - especially the ones, like Mario games, that were a direct connection to that Golden Age where I’d first discovered them.

Two Mario games released en-route to the waning days of the SNES, though, would have the whiplash-inducing effect of plunging me deeper into my fixation while simultaneously chipping away at my ability to view them as something beyond the diversions that they were: “Super Mario RPG” and “Super Mario World 2: Yoshi’s Island.”

Gaming culture had long since led me to the other stratas of Nerddom, and introduced obsessions like “continuity” into my psyche. In my mind, the Mario games had always had an epic saga playing out in the margins, but it was increasingly hard to ignore that such depth wasn’t to be found in the games. “Super Mario RPG,” however, finally delivered a Mario game with the kind of sprawling story and epic scope I’d always imagined was there. It was a standard Final Fantasy style “JRPG” (J for Japanese), but populated by Mario characters. The game sent its heroes (including Bowser at one point!) off on a quest to defeat a new enemy who’d swept down from space. It enthralled me and, however briefly, re-solidified my commitment to the series’ “mythos.” I hadn’t “outgrown” Mario; he was growing with me—following my lead, but still there for me...

...and then came “Yoshi’s Island.”

The game that was initially advertised as “Super Mario World 2: Yoshi’s Island” is today remembered as one of Miyamoto’s masterworks—a triumph on every level of game design. The history of its production is legend: taken aback by a Nintendo boss’s suggestion that he make the game’s appearance less “cartoony” and more like “Donkey Kong Country” (a spin-off series that used pre-rendered 3D images as sprites to try and match the graphical power of the emerging CD-based consoles), Miyamoto doubled-down and ordered that the games visuals be tweaked to resemble children’s crayon drawings. The result: a mega-selling, award-winning classic and a stern reminder to Nintendo not to question their Golden Boy.

While it was a game I loved then and adore today, at the time it was the Mario game that, well... that sort of “broke my brain” just a bit, and served as an early signal that my relationship with Mario and his world was fundamentally changing whether I wanted it to or not.

Like SMRPG, “Yoshi’s Island” offered the tantalizing prospect of a more narrative-oriented Mario adventure and the irresistible idea of finally setting up a Super Mario Bros continuity. The game was a prequel, set long before the events of even Donkey Kong (presumably), wherein the wizard caretaker of a still-infant Baby Bowser foresees the coming of the Mario Bros and schemes to kidnap them as babies (from The Stork, since this is a Mario game) to change history. Things go wrong, and Baby Mario winds up in the care of Yoshi (whoa! They’d actually met before!!??) on a quest to rescue his brother.

The idea of seeing Mario’s “origin story” had me playing through this game like a man possessed, even though by that point a teenaged social-life was leaving less and less time for gaming. I knew the end, I figured: Mario and Luigi would find their way back to Brooklyn. Along with seeing their Earth Realm digs visualized for the first time in a game, I was intrigued to see if any indications would be made about how and why they found their way back to Mushroom Kingdom years later. The possibilities!

And so, after a climactic battle against a towering, Godzilla-sized Bowser (another image I’d always wanted to see!), I settled in to watch as the games’ ending credits played out over an animation of The Stork flying Baby Mario and Luigi back home. Any moment now, I just knew, I’d see a 16-bit New York skyline come into view... but, instead, the closing text and final image tell a different story, as the Bros. are delivered to “...Where Mom and Dad live...”

“...THE MUSHROOM KINGDOM!”

...What?!

Mario and Luigi were born in the Mushroom Kingdom? That doesn’t make any sense! How’d they grow up in Brooklyn, then? Were they sent there at some point, like Superman, unaware of their real origins? And how were they Italian-Americans if they came from a world with no Italy and no America? Oooh! Maybe that’ll be the plot of the next game! Maybe...

I didn’t have a “breakdown” or anything. It’s not as though I was knocked into some kind of system-shock over this. But the dissonance stuck with me for a while. By now I had more important things to worry about in school and life to be completely consumed by this. College-prep classes, girls, sex, drugs and social-hierarchy were giving me my headaches—high school, after all. If I’d learned to keep my Nintendo worship (relatively) in check in the “Sega is cooler!” days, I could hold it back for the age of “everything but Playstation is for kids!”

Mario games had been “my thing,” my refuge from everything else when I needed them. Now that refuge was tinged—ever so slightly—with doubt. It wasn’t that “not from Brooklyn” changed anything fundamental, but it felt so... “cavalier.” That it wasn’t presented as a surprise drove home the reminder that most of what Generation NES considered “canon” for its games was often just hastily-composed faux-mythos for U.S. ad copy; and part of the story I’d been “devoted” to might’ve just been a narrative placeholder for Nintendo.

There’s a moment—vitally important in the development of any geek, nerd or whatever else you want to call it—when it finally sinks in all the way that the people creating whatever character or property you’ve let colonize a part of your imagination just aren’t as “devoted” to it as you are – that, to them, it’s a job. For me, this was it. How much sense did it make to be trying to work out the bigger relationships between the characters and the broader scope of their world? What was the point of keeping meticulous mental (and, yes, also physical) lists and chronologies of Mario’s friends, enemies, worlds, abilities, all that? What did it matter if I could point out, on a moment’s notice, that Nokobons (exploding-shell Troopas) were only found in Sarasaland and only in one game? Why should I put so much of myself into this… when Mario’s masters couldn’t even keep his origins straight?

It all happened so gradually (and in the background of so many bigger things) that it didn’t register until much later, but this was probably a turning point for me as much as it was for Mario. Young adulthood now coming into full effect. It was the best possible time to free up some mental space now that school and life-choices were going to start counting for something. I had college to get ready for, and a career path to start actually charting. (I’d long since transitioned from filmmaking to game-designing as a dream trajectory.) It was time to move on—if only a bit—from Mario and Nintendo…

…just not all at once.

"I didn’t have a “breakdown” or anything." /proceeds to ramble for four paragraphs about how Nintendo was stupid for doing it

 

[Princess Rescuer]

Bob keeps saying Trump's America is obsolete and Nike picked the correct side, which doesn't explain why he got elected.

 

[REGENDarySumanai]

Bob keeps saying Trump's America is obsolete and Nike picked the correct side, which doesn't explain why he got elected.

He might not be able to continue that shtick much longer, lest he get thousands of reports. After all, you reap what you sow.

 

[A Big Bumbling Black Man]

He might not be able to continue that shtick much longer, lest he get thousands of reports. After all, you reap what you sow.

D'awww. It would be a crying shame if, once Blob gets banned from Twitter, he receives condolences and well wishes in the form of "Bad things happen to bad people".

 

[Flexo]

Yes. Honestly, might as well post the entire thing about it, so you can see just how much it truly affects him. [To boot, this is where he brings up the goddamn Vietnam reference.]

I still cant read even a fraction of that book and not feel flabbergasted that he has so little pity towards those reacting to thing the like comics or ghostbuster or whatever. I sometimes wonder what would get him closer to realization. Whether pointing out Riri is someone's Yoshi's Island or if merely replying "brooklyn is obsolete" would spark a glimmer of understanding.

Neither will, of course. This is all academic pondering. Next @Mola Ram and I will discuss how many heart Kali Ma needs to dance on the head of a pin...

 

[Mola Ram]

I still cant read even a fraction of that book and not feel flabbergasted that he has so little pity towards those reacting to thing the like comics or ghostbuster or whatever. I sometimes wonder what would get him closer to realization. Whether pointing out Riri is someone's Yoshi's Island or if merely replying "brooklyn is obsolete" would spark a glimmer of understanding.

Neither will, of course. This is all academic pondering. Next @Mola Ram and I will discuss how many heart Kali Ma needs to dance on the head of a pin...

Kali Ma has no need of pins, unless we're using voodoo dolls, in which case the answer is one if they're virgin and five if they're not. Get it together, my metal infidel friend.

As for Bob's hypocrisy, I think since Brick by Brick was typed (I dare not say "written") politics became more important to Bob than entertainment for entertainment's sake alone. I don't think it's due to any serious political awakening -- if it were he'd be capable of more than just parroting talking points and his usual batshit insane rants against the Wasteland Ghouls -- I think it's more that Bob craves acceptance and celebration, even as he isolates himself, and so has to broadcast as loud and obnoxiously as possible to impress the gatekeepers of his sad little world. That Comicsgate and Ghostbusters 2016 are controversies because of the lack of fidelity to the original sources is secondary which side the dudebros, Wasteland Ghouls, and Trump Nazis support.

But it's just a new focus for his :autistic:, really. That he had this reaction to any video game at that age just goes to show Bob is a better spoken Chris-Chan who's marginally better at presenting himself in public. Hell, at the same age, Brett Kavanaugh was running a white slave ring!

 

[Flexo]

Kali Ma has no need of pins, unless we're using voodoo dolls, in which case the answer is one if they're virgin and five if they're not. Get it together, my metal infidel friend.

Speaking of Bob's crazy pitches...
So what if we rebooted terminator only Skynet got programmed to worship Kali Ma and takes over the world to ensure a fresh heart supply? Just imagine arnold Schwarzenegger conducting the ritual and i think you'll all agree we need to make this movie.

 

[Gordon Cole]

Diabetes.

Yeah, about that...

Heh, I'm surprised none of us call him Chipmunk.

There's a wonderful website called Deviantart where they probably came up with that.

...Except they're working?

And he wonders why he has money problems.

Meanwhile, diabetes and postmodernism compete to see who can destroy his brain faster.

It's called an easter egg you fat tard.

And lastly, all that booze made him fascist again.

 

[A Big Bumbling Black Man]

I can only read about 4 Bob tweets before it feels like an angry man is max-decibel screaming about "white people" and "FUCKING VIDEOGAMES" into my ears. This man hates everything. Why even act interested in videogames if any attempt at thematic accuracy sends him into a blind tweet-rage?

 

[LaughingJoke]

Diabetes.
View attachment 550426

Yeah, about that...
View attachment 550440

Heh, I'm surprised none of us call him Chipmunk.
View attachment 550431

There's a wonderful website called Deviantart where they probably came up with that.
View attachment 550432

...Except they're working?
View attachment 550433

And he wonders why he has money problems.
View attachment 550439

Meanwhile, diabetes and postmodernism compete to see who can destroy his brain faster.
View attachment 550437 View attachment 550438

It's called an easter egg you fat tard.
View attachment 550430

And lastly, all that booze made him fascist again.
View attachment 550434 View attachment 550435 View attachment 550436

When that cunt eventually dies alone in his basement he better leave instructions to be cremated or else I might end up going to his grave and spray paint Obsolete White Person on his tombstone.

 

[The Nothingness]

Of course he brings race into the age tweet