DarksydePhil / TheyCallMeDSP / Phil Burnell - General Discussion

[Prince Lotor]

Has anyone noticed how often DSP starts a sentence then immediately goes into another one without ever finishing the first? It's like every couple of sentences.

Yes, I've verbatim transcribed things he's saying a few times and it's literally every 3rd to every other sentence that he does this. There's no pause, no break, not even a hint of a beat breaking the cadence of a spoken sentence. About half the time he decides mid-sentence he needs a redo and just starts the sentence over like he has no confidence in his ability to speak (contrary to what his NPD likes to tell us), it's like the sentence version of a nervous stutter. The other half it sounds like he thought of a much better way to say what he was going for (his speech suddenly sounds a bit more excited and enthusiastic) but when he starts over he says something entirely unrelated, it's like the ADD version of his sentence stuttering.

He essentially does this multiple times per thought he is communicating to the point of near gibberish. Seriously, go back and read any of the transcripts @neger psykolog pulled from his prestreams. The auto-generated transcripts are about 85 to 95% accurate barring Phil's rampant mush-mouth (another issue entirely). When you are actually apprehending every word and sentence as he says it and how it interrelates to all the rest of the words in a monologue he is delivering, as opposed to just listening in the background or skimming for specific bits, it literally sounds like the "You want him to do you so much that you could do anything" kid.

Spoiler: This is what Phil talking sounds like

 

[Cpt_Autismo]

The best TIHYDP of Phil, is and will always be his Life. There are so many lessons young people can learn from life and times of the rochpig.
They can learn how one should be financially responsible with their earnings and to never life above their means or you end up begging for quarters.
About business, how complacency and laziness let's to a dieing business.
About fitness, that walking no more then 300 steps a day(a high estimate) for 5-6 years gives you the body of wheelchair bound 75 year old.
And most importantly social, how being a selfish dick and alienating everyone around you leads to complete and utter social destitute.

 

[actually]

He will NEVER leave his house. It's a trophy as to how great he is. Big house, gated community. I think if he loses that and moves to a condo it will fuck his head right up as he will have to face reality.

Mate, he lives in a condo right now. Look up the address in the first post. He paid $250k for the Middle. Fucking. Unit. of a 3 unit building. It's literally listed on official records as a condo. In addition, make sure you get a google street view shot of his "gated" community. A sumo wrestler could hoist themselves over that fence, not to mention the pathetic excuse for a gate.

 

[Colloid]

He'll be 37 in April.

I constantly have to remember that he's not even in his 40's yet despite already looking like he's about to finish them. Imagine how much of an old man he's gonna look like a decade from now. He'll probably have to start using a cane by then given his already apparent waddle, and I imagine a diabetes/arthritis diagnosis is also looming over the horizon given how sedentary he's been for his whole life plus all of the energy drinks that he practically lives off of.

 

[James Smith]

Mate, he lives in a condo right now.

Fun fact, once upon a time someone (ask me who) was manually banned from his chat for asking why he called his condo a house all the time. This was pre "It's not a business" saga when he actively tried to hide the fact that he lived in another condo.

 

[Just_living]

Fun fact, once upon a time someone (ask me who) was manually banned from his chat for asking why he called his condo a house all the time. This was pre "It's not a business" saga when he actively tried to hide the fact that he lived in another condo.

DSP called his current place a condo during those Seattle house-hunting videos. What?

 

[Surly Muppet]

In addition, make sure you get a google street view shot of his "gated" community. A sumo wrestler could hoist themselves over that fence, not to mention the pathetic excuse for a gate.

And just to clarify, any detractor that would start anything irl would get their ass beat. So he doesn't need that fence at all anyway. Alright? Sounds good?

Credit where it is due, living in a condo is a relatively wise move for Phil, because he would absolutely never do yard work. Having the facility care for that stuff and minor maintenance suits him well. Remember when he had to powerwash his driveway and he ended up with a sunburn? Or how hard snow removal was at his old condo (even though he reasonably, probably only had to shovel his parking spot or something...)? This man could not handle a house. But it is telling that he, the Grand Wizard of Semantics, chooses to call it a 'house' because he wants to chase that homeowner clout. That alone is a pretty good indicator of how much of his lifestyle is just ego peacocking about being a successful adult.

Sidenote: Since my last water bottle ruminations, Phil has grouped crushing a water bottle in with being a 'meme' and has, as far as I can tell, not done it since. So far, we're trending towards confirmation that Phil's only interest was in annoying people, and will now withhold doing it because people are calling for it and he is unsure if they are mocking him. My prediction now is that there will be a threshold where mentioning water bottles will become bannable, but he has to let it 'cool down' first because he made such a production out of it before. Also, there will be a threshold where a mod will change their name to reference it, and then shamefully have to change it later. Right T-Pose Counter?

 

[flatsoda]

This is perfectly summed up by his Minecraft streams. A few weeks (I think) ago, someone even posted a basic guide on his forums and Phil said he didn't have time to read any of it and would rather have people "interact" to tell him what to do, aka cheer him and tip him with step by step instructions.

Yeah, that was a particularly sleazy moment for DSP.

Stream viewer: "Hey, I made a guide with some tips for your next Minecraft session."
Normal Streamer: "Thanks! I really appreciate that and I'll definitely check it out!"

Paypig: "Hey, I made a guide with some tips for your next Minecraft session."
Darksydephil: *GREASY MONEYGRUBBING*

Spoiler: mrpapaveraceae, A Paypig, Gets Cucked By DSP

[2018-12-19 00:37:32 UTC] mrpapaveraceae: cheer50 I tweeted you a forum link on a list of ideas of objectives you could do for Minecraft. #charity
[2018-12-19 02:34:03 UTC] mrpapaveraceae: Hey, Phil!
[2018-12-19 02:34:45 UTC] mrpapaveraceae: Phil, I made a list for you.
[2018-12-19 02:36:34 UTC] darksydephil: i know, but i haven't had any time to take a look at it. so if you can help tonight live it'd be appreciated. i know i still have a crap ton of stuff to do with teh resources i mined last time

"Couple of shoutouts here! We've got mrpapavera, who's, basically, been on every Minecraft stream so far, helping me out TREMENDOUSLY. And he did cheer before the stream started, and said that he wrote me a GUIDE for Minecraft and posted it up on the FORUMS. Basically, I looked at some of the basic stuff. I didn't have a chance to watch ANY of these videos and stuff, that he posted up. Uhm, and also, I think that he just RECENTLY had posted up, 'OH! Here's a guide of stuff you might want to do!' I haven't had a chance, man! I, uh, OUTSIDE of me streaming, I'm SLAMMED with doing other stuff, around the house, and just being BUSY WITH LIFE! And I just don't have time, to sit down and read this stuff on the forums. So. IN REALITY, even though I appreciate it, uh, the best way for you to CONTRIBUTE, if you really want to help me out with the Minecraft stuff, is to be here on the streams! And to help me live, that's kind of the point of the *CONDESCENDING CHUCKLE* INTERACTIVITY of the streams! It's, 'Okay! I'm sitting down to play Minecraft. Now, let's talk Minecraft!' Right? NOT, 'Oh, I research Minecraft FOR HOURS before the stream, to figure out what to do on the stream!' Uh, I'd rather do it LIVE, because that gives us a reason to talk and INTERACT. Right? Uhm, so, That Being Said, I'm not sure what I'm doing tonight."

There's a funny addendum to this CHILL & POSITIVE interaction.

Dark trains his paypigs well. You have to give him that.

 

[gaarashatan]

when phils fans even know he only reads or cares what they say if they cheer @ him. yet twitch just sits there like dumbasses

 

[Meerkat Ink]

Yeah, that was a particularly sleazy moment for DSP.

Stream viewer: "Hey, I made a guide with some tips for your next Minecraft session."
Normal Streamer: "Thanks! I really appreciate that and I'll definitely check it out!"

Paypig: "Hey, I made a guide with some tips for your next Minecraft session."
Darksydephil: *GREASY MONEYGRUBBING*

Spoiler: mrpapaveraceae, A Paypig, Gets Cucked By DSP

[2018-12-19 00:37:32 UTC] mrpapaveraceae: cheer50 I tweeted you a forum link on a list of ideas of objectives you could do for Minecraft. #charity
[2018-12-19 02:34:03 UTC] mrpapaveraceae: Hey, Phil!
[2018-12-19 02:34:45 UTC] mrpapaveraceae: Phil, I made a list for you.
[2018-12-19 02:36:34 UTC] darksydephil: i know, but i haven't had any time to take a look at it. so if you can help tonight live it'd be appreciated. i know i still have a crap ton of stuff to do with teh resources i mined last time

"Couple of shoutouts here! We've got mrpapavera, who's, basically, been on every Minecraft stream so far, helping me out TREMENDOUSLY. And he did cheer before the stream started, and said that he wrote me a GUIDE for Minecraft and posted it up on the FORUMS. Basically, I looked at some of the basic stuff. I didn't have a chance to watch ANY of these videos and stuff, that he posted up. Uhm, and also, I think that he just RECENTLY had posted up, 'OH! Here's a guide of stuff you might want to do!' I haven't had a chance, man! I, uh, OUTSIDE of me streaming, I'm SLAMMED with doing other stuff, around the house, and just being BUSY WITH LIFE! And I just don't have time, to sit down and read this stuff on the forums. So. IN REALITY, even though I appreciate it, uh, the best way for you to CONTRIBUTE, if you really want to help me out with the Minecraft stuff, is to be here on the streams! And to help me live, that's kind of the point of the *CONDESCENDING CHUCKLE* INTERACTIVITY of the streams! It's, 'Okay! I'm sitting down to play Minecraft. Now, let's talk Minecraft!' Right? NOT, 'Oh, I research Minecraft FOR HOURS before the stream, to figure out what to do on the stream!' Uh, I'd rather do it LIVE, because that gives us a reason to talk and INTERACT. Right? Uhm, so, That Being Said, I'm not sure what I'm doing tonight."

There's a funny addendum to this CHILL & POSITIVE interaction.

View attachment 651804

Dark trains his paypigs well. You have to give him that.

Peak pignosis. Don't even dare talking to him unless you'll give him money. If you want to have a conversation with him, make sure you do it through cheering or tipping, of course tipping helps him right now, cheering helps him long turn. ACKtually, make big cheers or tips so he doesn't have to read them. Also make them often so you can interact with him.

If this isn't the definition of "fuck you, give me money", I don't know what is.

Honestly, you can just make a soundboard with

• "I don't know what you're talking about"
• "I don't know"
• "Shut up, stupid idiot *snake laugh*"
• "Thanks for the tip"
• "There you go"

And you can save yourself the bits. Why would anyone try to interact with him is beyond me.
You ask him a question and you're either met with a completely auto-generated response or you'll be dismissed and ridiculed.

 

[Commander Keen]

Not because Phil hated the SOK, because Phil hated the blacks.

Phillip “The Nigger Grave Digger” Burnell

And just to clarify, any detractor that would start anything irl would get their ass beat. So he doesn't need that fence at all anyway. Alright? Sounds good?

Credit where it is due, living in a condo is a relatively wise move for Phil, because he would absolutely never do yard work. Having the facility care for that stuff and minor maintenance suits him well. Remember when he had to powerwash his driveway and he ended up with a sunburn? Or how hard snow removal was at his old condo (even though he reasonably, probably only had to shovel his parking spot or something...)? This man could not handle a house. But it is telling that he, the Grand Wizard of Semantics, chooses to call it a 'house' because he wants to chase that homeowner clout. That alone is a pretty good indicator of how much of his lifestyle is just ego peacocking about being a successful adult.

Sidenote: Since my last water bottle ruminations, Phil has grouped crushing a water bottle in with being a 'meme' and has, as far as I can tell, not done it since. So far, we're trending towards confirmation that Phil's only interest was in annoying people, and will now withhold doing it because people are calling for it and he is unsure if they are mocking him. My prediction now is that there will be a threshold where mentioning water bottles will become bannable, but he has to let it 'cool down' first because he made such a production out of it before. Also, there will be a threshold where a mod will change their name to reference it, and then shamefully have to change it later. Right T-Pose Counter?

I think what happened is that tevin bitched about it a bit too hard so people started going and requesting DSP to crush the bottle. DSP isn’t really too far off base when he gripes about something being a tractor meme, a lot of what gets brought up are memes or shout outs to detractors/commentary on what is being discussed in tevin’s chat. He just assumes incorrectly most of the time. I remember one time tevin was talking about DSP and regular employment and then DSP got a ton of “interaction” about finding employment. Which he gleefully engaged with because some of the questions were constructed in a way that made it easy for him to gripe about trolls ruining his life.

 

[JackDavis]

phil beats dark souls like what 3 times? go backs on his 4th time without a fucking clue again(he doesnt learn cause hes just a puppet being handheld through). a normal streamer on his first playthrough is more competent than phil. even though they fuck up theyll enjoy the game. but phil on his 1,2,3,4th time of incompetency? bitches about the game and fromsoftware yet again. thats his problem. he doesnt know how to keep his mouth shut when his ego and incompetency is being displayed to the world

Phil's intelligence is weird. Metokur says he's both the luckiest and unluckiest guy in the world; and I think he's both smart and stupid as fuck at the same time. He's smart enough to graduate from HS valedictorian (as much as everybody likes to discredit his accomplishment, it's still a very nice accomplishment), graduate college with a 4 year degree, show enough to get hired at the Paper Airplane factory (as much as everybody likes to discredit his accomplishment by saying his dad got him the job, I'm sure he wasn't directly hired by his dad and had to impress the interviewer), yet like you say he's dumb enough to play Dark Souls for the 4th time and still not know anything. It's baffling.

Which pivots into my point about his skill playing games. You guys make good points about him being bad at games, I'll somewhat concede that. So let me move the goalposts. I don't think DSP is as bad as people portray him to be at games. He doesn't deserve (skillwise) to have a TIHYDP made for every damn game he plays, which is what lead to TIHYDP videos plummeting in views. People try to discredit him in games like Street Fighter 2, they act like he's the worst player on the planet, when he's clearly above average and destroys detractors that pair up against him regularly. He's a high Gold level player, that thinks he's Top 25 Worldwide, that detractors think is Ultra Bronze.

Personally I don't disagree with Phil about the spiderman DLCs. Sure I 100% all of them, but the screwball challenges really did suck and the bases in Turf Wars and Silver Lining felt harder due to what I believe to be balancing issues because of the new enemy types. I got just as frustrated as he did on those parts too. It's just that if Phil says it then it can never be considered a true criticism of the game because that's the precedent that he set. So of course if there are others who are frustrated on the same parts he is they won't say anything. After all, who would ever want to be compared to DSP? A lot of gamers I have seen take that as a huge insult. The lowest blow you could make.

Yeah, people just don't like someone with such a shitty attitude as he has to be right. I had to lower the difficulty to scrub levels in the Spider-Man DLC because it got ridiculous, which unfortunately doesn't do anything to the final Screwball mission that I can't beat.

And you can save yourself the bits. Why would anyone try to interact with him is beyond me.
You ask him a question and you're either met with a completely auto-generated response or you'll be dismissed and ridiculed.

Or he just manually Text-to-Speeches it, then just moves on. I know a lot of streamers give an insincere "Aw thanks, I appreciate it!" but at least it's better than nothing.

 

[Kamatsubu]

Phil's intelligence is weird. Metokur says he's both the luckiest and unluckiest guy in the world; and I think he's both smart and stupid as fuck at the same time. He's smart enough to graduate from HS valedictorian (as much as everybody likes to discredit his accomplishment, it's still a very nice accomplishment), graduate college with a 4 year degree, show enough to get hired at the Paper Airplane factory (as much as everybody likes to discredit his accomplishment by saying his dad got him the job, I'm sure he wasn't directly hired by his dad and had to impress the interviewer), yet like you say he's dumb enough to play Dark Souls for the 4th time and still not know anything. It's baffling.

Which pivots into my point about his skill playing games. You guys make good points about him being bad at games, I'll somewhat concede that. So let me move the goalposts. I don't think DSP is as bad as people portray him to be at games. He doesn't deserve (skillwise) to have a TIHYDP made for every damn game he plays, which is what lead to TIHYDP videos plummeting in views. People try to discredit him in games like Street Fighter 2, they act like he's the worst player on the planet, when he's clearly above average and destroys detractors that pair up against him regularly. He's a high Gold level player, that thinks he's Top 25 Worldwide, that detractors think is Ultra Bronze.



Yeah, people just don't like someone with such a shitty attitude as he has to be right. I had to lower the difficulty to scrub levels in the Spider-Man DLC because it got ridiculous, which unfortunately doesn't do anything to the final Screwball mission that I can't beat.



Or he just manually Text-to-Speeches it, then just moves on. I know a lot of streamers give an insincere "Aw thanks, I appreciate it!" but at least it's better than nothing.

I mean, this is the guy who claimed he walked into a Circuit City interview in street clothes, unshaven, and smelling like shit. This somehow got him the job because the interviewer liked how "real" he was by doing that. So you can imagine why people would discredit anything he says since even I know that's not how job interviews work.

Also even on scrub levels those olympus hideouts are ridiculous. Pairing the new jetpack shield guys with mini gunners and several rocket dudes is the most not fun experience I've ever had besides the screwball challenges. Even then the gadget challenges were the most dreaded to me cause they seemed to give you two gadgets that really didn't work well together. That silver lining one took me forever just to get silver on. And yeah that final chase was bullshit. I did it but it took me so many tries because the game employs the same chase system as early assassin creed games "you must be up the ass of the person you're chasing or you insta fail." It's not even a problem that the enemies take more hits to put down either. It's that the new enemy types hit way too hard too and when you're overwhelmed like in the bases it can get really tough to deal with that even when you know the rules of the game.

 

[MeganDodgedABullet]

Its weird to think a major role in Phil's decline is his unwillingness to just be the butt of jokes and just role with his true salty self. He has essentially chosen to slowly strangle his career by being as uninteresting as possible in order to make sure he never does anything interesting. And yet he flails around confused as to why people don't watch his khantent.

This. Anyone with a smidge of modesty and savvy couldv'e took on the mantle of "cranky old geezer of yootoob gaming" with a wink to the viewers and continued pulling in the $$ as a grumpy uncle figure. Unfortunately DSP is more like Arnold Rimmer.

 

[strandedcastaway]

As far as gaming, Phil long ago stopped being disinterested in actually playing most games. The end goal is money, not fun or providing entertainment. Even the logical route of being the angry shitty gamer doesn't appeal to him...he wants a "chill stream", which means it's just boring as fuck. However, somehow Phil has people who will give him money even though he shits on them regularly, so his behavior has only been reinforced. When Phil acts like Phil, a normal person (or whatever we are here) sees it and thinks, "Man, what an asshole!" He's spent years now at "work" interacting with a group of other weirdos where he totally controls the conversation. Whenever he has to interact with normal humans, he can't handle it, which only leads to more paranoia and retreating further into his little world.

 

[SkippyLongbottom]

As far as gaming, Phil long ago stopped being disinterested in actually playing most games. The end goal is money, not fun or providing entertainment. Even the logical route of being the angry shitty gamer doesn't appeal to him...he wants a "chill stream", which means it's just boring as fuck. However, somehow Phil has people who will give him money even though he shits on them regularly, so his behavior has only been reinforced. When Phil acts like Phil, a normal person (or whatever we are here) sees it and thinks, "Man, what an asshole!" He's spent years now at "work" interacting with a group of other weirdos where he totally controls the conversation. Whenever he has to interact with normal humans, he can't handle it, which only leads to more paranoia and retreating further into his little world.

He lacks passion really. As corny as that is, you would think someone who does this to make a living, he would at least have a drive for it other than just being paid for it. I cannot think of anymore games that he has put time and effort into to enjoy for fun instead of "How much money can this new game garner?" Since he refuses to even touch games outside mobile shit when he's not streaming; that should tell you a lot about the situation.

Also that chill shit really needs to stop. Just like the tips bar, he finds one thing that gained him lots of money for minimum effort that was suppose to be a one and done deal(Battle Royal camping and Browna Bricks), he just absolutely runs that shit to the ground. He doesn't have fun with games anymore, his fun is always tied to earning money.

 

[DoubleSideKy]

He lacks passion really. As corny as that is, you would think someone who does this to make a living, he would at least have a drive for it other than just being paid for it. I cannot think of anymore games that he has put time and effort into to enjoy for fun instead of "How much money can this new game garner?" Since he refuses to even touch games outside mobile shit when he's not streaming; that should tell you a lot about the situation.

Also that chill shit really needs to stop. Just like the tips bar, he finds one thing that gained him lots of money for minimum effort that was suppose to be a one and done deal(Battle Royal camping and Browna Bricks), he just absolutely runs that shit to the ground. He doesn't have fun with games anymore, his fun is always tied to earning money.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FpYmJ60DBHI (Start at 1:47:19) Money isn't the only thing that makes him wanna play games, so does views and when he doesn't get those views, he pulls an Okami. #IDon'tWantToBeMr.Views

 

[ZehnBoat]

He lacks passion really. As corny as that is, you would think someone who does this to make a living, he would at least have a drive for it other than just being paid for it.

basically yeah
watch any good streamer, they get interested in playing new games, or refining skills in one they played a lot

phil just sits there like a fish, then t-poses and arfs, snorts and read chat with all the enthusiasm you can find a suicidal person.

Also that chill shit really needs to stop.

he didn't start the chill shit to get money he did it to distance himself from the past
he's seemed to have disheveled the "RAW AND REAL" mr. loudmouth with the right opinions, and is trying to slide into the chill and cool guy who never flips his lid, he's disneyfied himself
or at least he says he's trying to.. he's still the same

 

[Kamatsubu]

I'm just going to say I can't play Red Dead 2 seriously considering Dutch is basically Phil and Arthur is his top patron.

Wonder how much money Phil needs to get to Tahiti?

 

[Dr.Chill]

I'm just going to say I can't play Red Dead 2 seriously considering Dutch is basically Phil and Arthur is his top patron.

Wonder how much money Phil needs to get to Tahiti?

At least Dutch is like-able. Ol dave is about as charismatic as a bum selling drywall to crack heads