Containment Random Chris Updates

The longer it takes for him to find out the funnier it will be.

Twitter tech support call center in 2037: "Mrs. Chandler, you're twitter account is not broken and has not been 'hacked by trolls'. None of the people you've tweeted at for the last eighteen years have seen or have even been able to see any of the 72,000 tweets you've written."

You don't honestly think Chris is going to make it to the year 2037, do you? And if by some twist of fate where he does live that long, that Twitter is still going to be a thing then? If Chris does manage to live that long, he will probably be less a leg or two due to diabetes.
 
You don't honestly think Chris is going to make it to the year 2037, do you? And if by some twist of fate where he does live that long, that Twitter is still going to be a thing then? If Chris does manage to live that long, he will probably be less a leg or two due to diabetes.
Chris is woke and shit and found the secret to eternal yooothf. That or he'll just keep @ing all of us from CWCville after his death.
 
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Not sure how Barb will feel about this. On the one side, she can make some pity bucks, and be treated like a queen for 5 seconds. On the other hand, she might not want to viewed as a freak show on TV.
 
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Only by mail? What the fuck?
Does Chris think that mail is the only remaining way trolls can't mess with him?

Pretty much. After the Miyamoto saga, Chris realized people could use fake emails to mess with him and demanded that Nintendo and Sega should only contact him via snail-mail, as he called it, because it apparently hadn't occurred to him that letters could also be faked. He may or may not have come to understand that since then, but he still seems to think that regular mail is still somehow more secure or trustworthy.
 
According to Bronycon
Those that have gone above and beyond in their work for the fandom who we can honor at our event or who might have ideas for this year?
Yeah, Dr. Phil and Bronycon don't give a damn about Chris.
These people act as if stuffing some ballot box with Juuuullaaay is just like getting the slow kid voted both prom King & Queen. Like it's actually going to work and slip by some 70 - year-old senile secretary in terrible 80's movie. Smollett could do a better job at making this look legit.

Anyway, Chris would never be considered for being a guest on Dr. Phil
1. He doesn't have people that actually care about him to go on the show and cry like an idiot.
2. He's boring as fuck and can barely speak English
3. His story really isn't that sympathetic

He would basically have to shoot up bronycon and have angry family members of the bronies go onto Dr. Phil to expose the darkside of the brony community.
 
According to Bronycon

Yeah, Dr. Phil and Bronycon don't give a damn about Chris.
These people act as if stuffing some ballot box with Juuuullaaay is just like getting the slow kid voted both prom King & Queen. Like it's actually going to work and slip by some 70 - year-old senile secretary in terrible 80's movie. Smollett could do a better job at making this look legit.

Hell, it worked for that Gamestop contest back in '08 or '09, when trolls were stuffing the ballots because they thought it would get Chris into the next Guitar Hero game. There are probably some w e e n s who think they can make lightning strike twice.
 
Hell, it worked for that GameStop contest back in '08 or '09 when trolls were stuffing the ballots because they thought it would get Chris into the next Guitar Hero game. There are probably some w e e n s who think they can make lightning strike twice.
Yes, but that was some random contest where not that many people knew who Chris was. They're literally going to go over entries and make sure the nomination is correct. Even if Chris were magically somehow to get this, I'm sure his targets would protest him like he's the Harvey Weinstein of Bronycon.
 
Yes, but that was some random contest where not that many people knew who Chris was. They're literally going to go over entries and make sure the nomination is correct. Even if Chris were magically somehow to get this, I'm sure his targets would protest him like he's the Harvey Weinstein of Bronycon.

Oh, no, I know. There's no way in hell Chris would ever be picked as a community guest, mostly because he's such a shitty member of the community. Like, if I were a space alien who knew nothing about bronies, and Chris was the first brony I ever encountered, I'd probably conclude that all bronies needed to be exterminated forthwith.
 
Pretty much. After the Miyamoto saga, Chris realized people could use fake emails to mess with him and demanded that Nintendo and Sega should only contact him via snail-mail, as he called it, because it apparently hadn't occurred to him that letters could also be faked. He may or may not have come to understand that since then, but he still seems to think that regular mail is still somehow more secure or trustworthy.

Not a lawyer, but is mail fraud easier to prosecute than wire fraud?
 
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Not a lawyer, but is mail fraud easier to prosecute than wire fraud?

I'm not sure. Based on a reading of the relevant statutes, I think it is, if only because the legal definition of 'mail fraud' under 18 U.S.C. § 1341 is very broad compared to the legal definition of 'wire fraud', and would therefore probably be easier to prosecute.
 
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In seriousness, I'm beginning to think Chris would be willing to go as far as broadcast television in order to clear his name and debunk that he's not a creepy psycho.

But then whoever hosts him will break the Hurtful Truth Level and he goes mad when he isn't told what he wants to hear.
 
Why would anyone want him banned from a convention before he goes there?
At TMG we got the Hedgehog Defense Position, him putting the cut-out next to him on the floor, his car breaking down on the way back and Null wanting to go internet vigilante on some people based on rumors.

And all that was without a motivator to sperg out like the Twitter shit.
Bronycon is gonna be hilarious.
 
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