Careercow Robert Chipman / Bob / Moviebob / "Movieblob" - Middle-Aged Consoomer, CWC with a Thesaurus, Ardent Male Feminist and Superior Futurist, the Twice-Fired, the Mario-Worshipper, publicly dismantled by Hot Dog Girl, now a diabetic

[Karl der Grosse]

I like this one in particular because he compares his reviews to "a language-conversion chart for the price of farmed produce". How do you get beaten up by your own strawman?

He's not even right about the Rosetta Stone.

"The text begins by cataloging some of the king’s noble deeds and accomplishments, such as the giving of gifts to the temple, the granting of a variety of tax reductions, and the restoration of peace to Egypt after a rebellion that had begun during the reign of his predecessor, Ptolemy IV Philopator. In return for these services to Egypt, the council of priests pledges a series of actions to bolster Ptolemy V Epiphanes’ royal cult, such as the construction of new statues, better decorations for his shrines, and festivals for his birthday and day of accession to the throne. Finally, the decree states that it should be inscribed in stone in hieroglyphics, the demotic script, and Greek and placed in temples throughout Egypt."

 

[Jetpack Himmler]

I'm almost certain as well, like @TrippinKahlua, that he did mention a girlfriend once, though I think it was in the past tense. Not that that makes it true mind you. He also claimed reading girls fiction helped him have a threesome so...

My personal theory about Bob's girlfriend: she regained her sight and ran for the wasteland when she saw how ugly he was. Mostly likely happily married a mayonnaise ghoul now.

 

[Capsaicin Addict]

He's not even right about the Rosetta Stone.

"The text begins by cataloging some of the king’s noble deeds and accomplishments, such as the giving of gifts to the temple, the granting of a variety of tax reductions, and the restoration of peace to Egypt after a rebellion that had begun during the reign of his predecessor, Ptolemy IV Philopator. In return for these services to Egypt, the council of priests pledges a series of actions to bolster Ptolemy V Epiphanes’ royal cult, such as the construction of new statues, better decorations for his shrines, and festivals for his birthday and day of accession to the throne. Finally, the decree states that it should be inscribed in stone in hieroglyphics, the demotic script, and Greek and placed in temples throughout Egypt."

A two minute trip to Wikipedia would've saved him from looking stupid. But no, he's Bob fuckin' Chipman, and he Is Smarter Than You, You Plebe.

 

[Haramburger]

Yeah I always took his "Judy Blume books got me laid" anecdote as the obvious fantasy it was. More likely he was into those books as a kid and thinks it should've gotten him laid.

"Judy Blume books" and "sex" are two topics that ought never intersect. Anyone that forces them to is huge red flag.

 

[Mola Ram]

"Judy Blume books" and "sex" are two topics that ought never intersect. Anyone that forces them to is huge red flag.

I wouldn't worry too much. For Bob, a threesome just means switching hands halfway through a stroke session.

 

[Positron]

"Judy Blume books" and "sex" are two topics that ought never intersect. Anyone that forces them to is huge red flag.

Any touch by Bob Chipman is a Bad Touch, no matter the age of the recipient.

 

[I Am Do Big Fard Retard]

"Judy Blume books" and "sex" are two topics that ought never intersect. Anyone that forces them to is huge red flag.

I'm still really confused on how the man crusading against sexism and misogyny made a video with an off-topic tangent that explained how Judy Bloom books got women to give into his every sexual whim including filming lesbian porn with them.

 

[Karl der Grosse]

I bet Bob read Blubber a dozen times. The fat bullied girl really spoke to Bob's inner soul.

 

[Chaos Theorist]

 

[The tired cat]

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1. Superman has been called out by fans for all that murdering shit that happened in Man of Steel.

2. That was kinda the point of showing Batman going over the edge, plus in the 1st Burton Batman movie he killed criminals

3. Yeah, def worse hero because she has no personality and is more artificial than fuckinc Siri.

 

[Wilhelm Bittrich]

I wouldn't worry too much. For Bob, a threesome just means switching hands halfway through a stroke session.

Yup, that's it with dinner tonight.

 

[SmileyTimeDayCare]

1. Superman has been called out by fans for all that murdering shit that happened in Man of Steel.

2. That was kinda the point of showing Batman going over the edge, plus in the 1st Burton Batman movie he killed criminals

3. Yeah, def worse hero because she has no personality and is more artificial than fuckinc Siri.

She's a villain. She'd be Zod.

 

[The Nothingness]

Notice how tweet ignores the time Captain Marvel was with Kree military and most likely taking part in a number of genocidal actions. I guess Skrull lives don't matter.

 

[BScCollateral]

Bob Chipman, internet movie critic, thinks the internet was okay with Superman's killing spree.

Truly, the Man Who Is Never Right.

 

[Ralph Barnhardt]

A little trip down memory lane for this auspicious page of our lord 2016.

Spoiler: No franchise like disenfranchised

Spoiler: Press “f” for the victims of Trump

EDIT: I was going through the search results and found this gem. He actually says superior future with no irony. Seems Bobbyboi has been wanting them space ships he was owed for years now.

Spoiler: Damn mayonnaise ghouls

Ahhh, it’s fun to have fun.

 

[Ken Rosenberg]

It's been nearly two and a half years now, and even though I live in Trump country I've still yet to see any right-wing mobs and death squads out hunting down gays, trannies, and pocs.

 

[Godzilla@1989]

More Godzilla (no pun attened) Sperging.

 

[Ralph Barnhardt]

More Godzilla (no pun attened) Sperging.

View attachment 778022

I haven’t seen it so I might be wrong but I think I would Mothra more as a set pice than a character.

 

[The Littlest Shitlord]

View attachment 777936

Admittedly I don't watch capeshit and haven't seen any of these. But it sounds like the first two were Hard Choices for the Greater Good, or at least there was some sort of attempt to advance the interests of society at large, while the last one was purely for personal gratification. I'm pretty sure that Superman and Batman weren't killing people for fun in a superHERO movie. I'd assume that if Captain Marvel stole Bob's wallet or broke his smart phone in front of him because he called her family members "obsolete mayonnaise ghouls", he'd be pretty aggrieved over it. But leave it to Bob to have no idea that a hero places the interests of society over his personal desires.

 

[Godzilla@1989]

If this was posted already, apologies but I found this interesting video.