Careercow Robert Chipman / Bob / Moviebob / "Movieblob" - Middle-Aged Consoomer, CWC with a Thesaurus, Ardent Male Feminist and Superior Futurist, the Twice-Fired, the Mario-Worshipper, publicly dismantled by Hot Dog Girl, now a diabetic

[Knyttet]

I think it's simpler than that. Night in the Woods is one of those hipster platformers like Braid, and Braid was critical of the old "save the princess" plot of the games he likes.

Bob named Braid the 7th best game of the last generation.

 

[Foltest]

Admittedly I don't watch capeshit and haven't seen any of these. But it sounds like the first two were Hard Choices for the Greater Good, or at least there was some sort of attempt to advance the interests of society at large, while the last one was purely for personal gratification. I'm pretty sure that Superman and Batman weren't killing people for fun in a superHERO movie. I'd assume that if Captain Marvel stole Bob's wallet or broke his smart phone in front of him because he called her family members "obsolete mayonnaise ghouls", he'd be pretty aggrieved over it. But leave it to Bob to have no idea that a hero places the interests of society over his personal desires.

In the case of Man of Steel, Superman only killed Zod. The others were killed by Zod and his gang. The reason why he fought in Metropolis in the end, was that Zod told him that he would kill every single human being and if Supes would have tried to get him out of metropolis, he would just kill people.
It is said nearly like that in the film but idiots like Bob and that stupid twatter have memoirs of a goldfish.

 

[RockVolnutt]

In the case of Man of Steel, Superman only killed Zod. The others were killed by Zod and his gang. The reason why he fought in Metropolis in the end, was that Zod told him that he would kill every single human being and if Supes would have tried to get him out of metropolis, he would just kill people.
It is said nearly like that in the film but idiots like Bob and that stupid twatter have memoirs of a goldfish.

Eh, it's one of those things where you can tell what Zack Snyder was going for but it's totally botched so you can very much understand the confusion.

1. Superman wrecking Metropolis was due to that and the fact he's inexperienced. The entire plot of Batman v Superman is centered around the fuck-up. The internet was certainly pissed about it and I have no idea why Bob thinks otherwise.

2. Batman being deranged in BvS is because he's a mash-up of "Bruce Wayne right after Jason died" and the Batman of DKR. It's explicitly mentioned that his behavior is HIGHLY abnormal for himself but it's weird for viewers without a vague knowledge of the source material as we don't really see much of Bruce Wayne in his usual state of mind.

I'm not going to call the DC movies masterpieces but Bob has a poor understanding of them despite watching BvS like 20 times for his review.

 

[BScCollateral]

I'm not going to call the DC movies masterpieces but Bob has a poor understanding of them despite watching BvS like 20 times for his review.

I think that understanding this is the key to understanding the black hole of stupid that is MovieBob.

How can you possibly fuck up his job as much as he does?

His job isn't playing games where you need skill to play, and it's possible to legitimately fail at something. He doesn't discuss real history, where sources constantly contradict one another because of honest or dishonest mistakes. He doesn't discuss thoughtful, subtle films with multiple shades of meaning and deep ambiguity where seemingly contradictory interpretations are up for grabs.

He's not getting his ass kicked in Cuphead. He's not analyzing the Soviet failure to launch a circumlunar mission and forgetting to bring up the feud between Korolev and Chelomi. He's not speculating about why HAL 9000 killed his crew. He is watching films, maybe two hours long, with the dramatic depth of 1970s Hanna-Barbera cartoons, and getting them wrong.

It's actually impressive.

 

[Ralph Barnhardt]

True which is possibly one of rare occasions where Bob gets it right. The RT critic score sits at 44% while the common filth plebeian score hasn’t been released yet. Google user reviews has 95% liking it. That number might drop to maybe as low as 83% this time next week which is still a lot of approval from non professional critics. Take all of this as you will.

Speculating here, I think the reason Bob got such a kick out of this movie is that it hit all the right buttons and did nothing political that his woke brain would have to get angry about or defend. It would be a super rare event where he can just unplug and enjoy the spectacle.

I take back everything I said. I’ll edit this when I get out of traffic.

EDIT: So $25 and TWO AND A HALF HOURS LATER, I've come up with three possibilities:
1. Bob is a shill
-This seems unlikely as he can't seem to get employers to pay him for long so why would a production company like Legendary waste their money on him?
2. Bob is so dumb to the point of being a simpleton
-While possible he at least knows how movies are structured which doesn't explain his 10/10 rating
3. Bob suffers from terminal waxing of the nostalgia

I've heard it said that in World War 1, soldiers in the trenches would sometimes suffer from "waxing nostalgic". Their mind would break and they would long for home to the point of being worse than useless but an actual detriment to their fellow soldiers. Take it for what it's worth, the author John Green says

Spoiler: What John Green said

Now tell me dear, gentle reader if that does not describe Bob to a T. I paid money to see Godzilla. I did it because Bob said

"It was so awesome I just want to make animal noises 10/10 love it more than my dead dad"

I thought maybe, just maybe, if it can get that much enthusiasm out of Bob maybe there's something to it. Well if you can't tell by now, the movie flat out sucked. For me it was worse than Godzilla 2014. There are not characters in this movie Blob. There are human actors who only exist to explain the story to the audience. But what about the fights you might ask? For a movie with a run time of 2h 12min, the "battles", I shit you not, last maybe 15-20 minutes. Maybe. We're talking Batman V Superman levels here. And none of it is impressive as it was all painted by a computer. I was thinking, why does Bob have such orgasmic joy for this then it hit me. He loves Independence day, a stupid movie made by a stupid man for people to shut their brains completely off and eat popcorn to. It feels like such a Roland Emmerich movie it's kinda shocking. Even more than the stupid exposition spouters, more than the lack of promise of sweet monster fights, more than a lack of a coherent story, the movie is just boring. It was so boring I witnessed an entire family get up an walk out about 40 minutes in rather than be held hostage by this movie. This family had a boy of about 8-10 years old, primo age for this kind of stuff, and it could not hold their interest. If this is truly the movie Bobbyboi waited his entire life for then there is no insult, no barb, no jab, no snipe I could take that would do as much damage to him as this movie.

Why'd I come back to this? Because I somewhat defended this movie. The takeaways we can garner from this is that critics are not always right but not always wrong, the hyped up masses are not always wrong but not always right

and

Bob "The Moviebob" Chipman is always wrong

 

[Flexo]

You know... part of me wants to see a video of Bob meeting this cab driver

 

[Godzilla@1989]

I got back from the new Godzilla movie. Was it the best movie ever like Black Panther according to Bob? Hell no, but it wasn’t that bad. At best, it was a glorified remake of Ghidorah: The Three Headed Monster. At worst, it was a generic monster movie.

Personally, I prefer Godzilla: Final Wars over the new one. That movie kicks so much ass.

 

[Lensherr]

I take back everything I said. I’ll edit this when I get out of traffic.

EDIT: So $25 and TWO AND A HALF HOURS LATER, I've come up with three possibilities:
1. Bob is a shill
-This seems unlikely as he can't seem to get employers to pay him for long so why would a production company like Legendary waste their money on him?
2. Bob is so dumb to the point of being a simpleton
-While possible he at least knows how movies are structured which doesn't explain his 10/10 rating
3. Bob suffers from terminal waxing of the nostalgia

I've heard it said that in World War 1, soldiers in the trenches would sometimes suffer from "waxing nostalgic". Their mind would break and they would long for home to the point of being worse than useless but an actual detriment to their fellow soldiers. Take it for what it's worth, the author John Green says

Spoiler: What John Green said

View attachment 778446

Now tell me dear, gentle reader if that does not describe Bob to a T. I paid money to see Godzilla. I did it because Bob said

View attachment 778453
"It was so awesome I just want to make animal noises 10/10 love it more than my dead dad"

I thought maybe, just maybe, if it can get that much enthusiasm out of Bob maybe there's something to it. Well if you can't tell by now, the movie flat out sucked. For me it was worse than Godzilla 2014. There are not characters in this movie Blob. There are human actors who only exist to explain the story to the audience. But what about the fights you might ask? For a movie with a run time of 2h 12min, the "battles", I shit you not, last maybe 15-20 minutes. Maybe. We're talking Batman V Superman levels here. And none of it is impressive as it was all painted by a computer. I was thinking, why does Bob have such orgasmic joy for this then it hit me. He loves Independence day, a stupid movie made by a stupid man for people to shut their brains completely off and eat popcorn to. It feels like such a Roland Emmerich movie it's kinda shocking. Even more than the stupid exposition spouters, more than the lack of promise of sweet monster fights, more than a lack of a coherent story, the movie is just boring. It was so boring I witnessed an entire family get up an walk out about 40 minutes in rather than be held hostage by this movie. This family had a boy of about 8-10 years old, primo age for this kind of stuff, and it could not hold their interest. If this is truly the movie Bobbyboi waited his entire life for then there is no insult, no barb, no jab, no snipe I could take that would do as much damage to him as this movie.

Why'd I come back to this? Because I somewhat defended this movie. The takeaways we can garner from this is that critics are not always right but not always wrong, the hyped up masses are not always wrong but not always right

and

Bob "The Moviebob" Chipman is always wrong

No offense, but what makes you think that Bob is trustworthy enough to make you go see a movie based solely on his recommendation?

EDIT: Another gem from his Election Day spergout:

 

[Ralph Barnhardt]

No offense, but what makes you think that Bob is trustworthy enough to make you go see a movie based solely on his recommendation?

It was more of the overwhelming positive google user review that got me interested though yes, Bob's orgasm was part of the factor, that shameful, shameful factor. I though if something can make nerd geek out that hard there's got to be something to it right?

(pic unrelated)
The best part is when they blew up Bahstahn

I got back from the new Godzilla movie. Was it the best movie ever like Black Panther according to Bob? Hell no, but it wasn’t that bad. At best, it was a glorified remake of Ghidorah: The Three Headed Monster. At worst, it was a generic monster movie.

Personally, I prefer Godzilla: Final Wars over the new one. That movie kicks so much ass.

In all honesty I'm happy that you got something out of it but for the life of me I couldn't.

In even more honesty, I'm glad that we can get an unbiased opinion of Godzilla from @Godzilla@1989. Now for all of you pro 2nd Amenders out there I think you'll really like Ralph Barnhardt's Gun Emporium, completely no relation to me of that you can be sure! It's conveniently right off the Beltline. I've shopped there once or twice before. It was alright I guess.

 

[CharlesBarkley]

No offense, but what makes you think that Bob is trustworthy enough to make you go see a movie based solely on his recommendation?

EDIT: Another gem from his Election Day spergout:

View attachment 778541

Well, makes sense. Nigga goes though cheeseburgers and candy like a mother fuckin' roman orgy line-up.

 

[Mola Ram]

EDIT: Another gem from his Election Day spergout:

I thought I'd read everything Bob barfed up in the week or so after the Trumpocalypse, but that's a new one. The perils of trying to follow a man whose daily tweets must verge into triple digits sometimes, I suppose. Anyway:

Decadence is not a good thing. I'm sure most people don't have to be told that, but it is a word with almost purely negative connotations. It is selfish. It is short-sighted. It is, as the poor soul who was witless enough to bother engaging with Bob observed, unsustainable. It's not a riddle; it's right there in the word. The root of the word is "DECAY." Which, to be fair, is pretty much what Bob has been doing since he became a D-list YouTube celebrity: decaying, rotting, slouching toward his inevitable early grave full of nothing but bitterness and envy and a sneering resentment that doesn't cover his inadequacies one iota. So points for honesty, if nothing else.

 

[RockVolnutt]

I thought I'd read everything Bob barfed up in the week or so after the Trumpocalypse, but that's a new one. The perils of trying to follow a man whose daily tweets must verge into triple digits sometimes, I suppose. Anyway:

Decadence is not a good thing. I'm sure most people don't have to be told that, but it is a word with almost purely negative connotations. It is selfish. It is short-sighted. It is, as the poor soul who was witless enough to bother engaging with Bob observed, unsustainable. It's not a riddle; it's right there in the word. The root of the word is "DECAY." Which, to be fair, is pretty much what Bob has been doing since he became a D-list YouTube celebrity: decaying, rotting, slouching toward his inevitable early grave full of nothing but bitterness and envy and a sneering resentment that doesn't cover his inadequacies one iota. So points for honesty, if nothing else.

I think he assumes decadence means "has a lot of stuff to consume" which really ties things together here considering he's 4 tons. Not that it's news that he's a fat bastard in the metaphorical sense as well as the literal.

 

[vern]

You know seeing bob sperg about the new godzilla film, I wonder if he had any hot takes on Shin/Resurgence (aka the one that came in between the two latest Hollywood films and what anno used as an excuse to avoid eva for a while).

I don't remember seeing him say anything but I never really paid him much attention back then so I could be wrong.

 

[Rei is shit]

cow crossover. notice me senpai finally worked

JAMES GUN WAS JUST MAKING JOKES HE CANT BE FIRED FOR THAT REEEEEEEEEEE

part of a minor sperg out

don't worry bob, we are ahead of the curve and knew you were a fusion chef when you posted that mold and cheese

 

[Someone in a Tree]

He's not even right about fucking anything.

FTFY

 

[Judge Dredd]

Not trying to powerlevel, but I've been following Bob since the pre-Escapist days and I don't think I've ever seen him refer to a girlfriend outside of abstract references to the general concept. I can say from firsthand experience he's almost as much of a fart-huffing prick IRL as he is online and I really doubt he ever got as much as a second date out of a girl.

Like, Doug Walker's a sped, but he's a sped with good intentions most of the time. Bob's just too into himself for me to believe he ever had a steady relationship with people who weren't somewhat obligated to reciprocate.

If he did have a girlfriend, I'd imagine he'd be like DSP or Linkara, bringing it up an every opportunity, getting her to appear in his videos, maybe even claiming she got death threats from comicsgate or whatever.

Bob has bragged about his sexual conquests due to his knowledge of young adult fiction, but I think that's made up. There's a picture I'm to lazy to search for of him with a group of women and there's blatant hover hand going on. That doesn't strike me as the behaviour of someone who is regularly pulling women and having 3somes. There's also the question of where he's meeting those women when he never leaves his basement and doesn't go to bed until 5am. I doubt Boston press screenings are full of single young women.

 

[Null]

Wait, Bob Chipman is different than Boogie? I thought they were the same person.

 

[kadoink]

Bob is the virginal Shane Holmberg of film criticism. It's not surprising he's such a miserable person. Beyond his obesity, his amputated feet, his smell, you'd think there would be some joy in his life to keep him going. Serious talk here, dude projects a superiority complex which most likely means he has an inferiority complex and all he's done with his life is block people on twitter and tell people about how special his butthole is during movie reviews.

There is nothing positive about him as a person internally or externally that he presents other than game nostalgia. He doesn't create anything, all he does is complain. It's easy to make fun of him for so many reasons but when it all comes down to it and you realize who he is as a person, there's nothing meaner you can say other than the truth. I think he's on his way to join Spoony in irrelevance and depression.

Wait, Bob Chipman is different than Boogie? I thought they were the same person.

They smell the same.

 

[Jersey Devil]

You know seeing bob sperg about the new godzilla film, I wonder if he had any hot takes on Shin/Resurgence (aka the one that came in between the two latest Hollywood films and what anno used as an excuse to avoid eva for a while).

I don't remember seeing him say anything but I never really paid him much attention back then so I could be wrong.

Shin Godzilla is better than either American film. I liked that it didn't even really attempt to have a main character-- the one couple was the focal point for the last 30 minutes or so, but most of the movie is following a complex bureaucracy of revolving political figures trying to figure out a way to deal with a giant radioactive monster.

I'm sure Bob would hate it because 1. Godzilla is evil/amoral like in the first movie and 2. he'd get hung up on the sheer amount of characters thrown at him at the beginning and wouldn't realize that you don't really need to keep track of everyone.

 

[Flexo]

Bob has bragged about his sexual conquests due to his knowledge of young adult fiction, but I think that's made up. There's a picture I'm to lazy to search for of him with a group of women and there's blatant hover hand going on. That doesn't strike me as the behaviour of someone who is regularly pulling women and having 3somes. There's also the question of where he's meeting those women when he never leaves his basement and doesn't go to bed until 5am. I doubt Boston press screenings are full of single young women.

I'm surprised you all don't summon me by name 3 times when you need this stuff.