حلال Connor Bible - Everyone's Favorite Molly Ringwald loving, adoption hating, aspiring writer and bellybutton fucker

[Ariel]

Given the way he conducts himself in chat, i'm doubtful his parents are really abusive.

He expects a group of strangers to give him their undivided attention as if somehow he 'deserves' it & gives absolutely nothing back. Can you imagine how much worse he would be to people he is related to? dayymmmmmmmmnn

 

[The Dude]

Given the way he conducts himself in chat, i'm doubtful his parents are really abusive.

He expects a group of strangers to give him their undivided attention as if somehow he 'deserves' it & gives absolutely nothing back. Can you imagine how much worse he would be to people he is related to? dayymmmmmmmmnn

I'm guessing it's more like they were neglectful and didn't give Connor-Chan enough attention. Since Connor has a repugnant personality and isn't able to get the attention he craves he instead acts like a brain damaged chimp online to get people to notice him.

 

[BOLDYSPICY!]

I'm always amused at how it takes a huge lolcow to bring us all together and support each other

Iknorite? Sorry for sperging, though; I'm always hesitant to talk about my situation because I don't wanna come off as an attention whore or a pity-fisher or whatever. Especially since there are plenty of Kiwis who've dealt with far worse shit than I have. I just wanted to make a point.

Man, that gives me the warm fuzzies. It's sort of like how the entire Marijan thread (all 600 pages of it) consists solely of the Kiwis vs. Marijan. It's way less antagonistic in this thread (because I honestly think most of us want Connor to succeed), but we're pretty much all on the "Dude, get a fucking job and stop falling back on the autism excuse" train.

God, fucking Marjen. But pretty much every other cow who's come here we've all tried to coach in some way towards bettering themselves, despite these being ultimately futile attempts. @Connor , I was a lot like you growing up. People always told me I was so mature & intelligent for my age, etc. But "emotional maturity" on its own doesn't mean jack shit. My mom (who has a PhD) always said that she was never very smart, she just had to work hard. & I learned that the hard way. You can't skate by on "intelligence" & "maturity" alone.

 

[Johnny Bravo]

But pretty much every other cow who's come here we've all tried to coach in some way towards bettering themselves, despite these being ultimately futile attempts.

And Connor has been here long enough to know this. Our first response when a cow shows up is to ask them questions. Some questions are jabs, sure, but it seems like most users just want to pick their brain. This scares the cow.

 

[DuskEngine]

Man, that gives me the warm fuzzies. It's sort of like how the entire Marijan thread (all 600 pages of it) consists solely of the Kiwis vs. Marijan. It's way less antagonistic in this thread (because I honestly think most of us want Connor to succeed), but we're pretty much all on the "Dude, get a fucking job and stop falling back on the autism excuse" train.

Connor isn't an actual rapist.

And I doubt he ever will be. Truthfully, most of the shit he says about women sounds more like him trying to be a hardcore badass who's too alpha for those fucking bitches than Marjan, who sounds like an actual psychopath.

So look at it this way, Connor- you'll (probably) never be as bad as Marjan Siklic.
That's not a lot, though, is it?

Honestly, if you actually want to change your life, you'll have to change your circumstances and environment too. And that means getting off the fucking internet, or at least getting off a fucking forum where people will never see you as anything but a sad joke.

We're not your friends. There are no friends among anonymous internet strangers gathered together for the sole purpose of laughing at weirdos.

 

[Overcast]

I'm always amused at how it takes a huge lolcow to bring us all together and support each other

And that's one of the reasons I love this site.

: )

 

[Colress]

aww. this is heartwarming. ;v;

i too want to see connor get his shit together.

 

[KingofManga420]

Connor isn't an actual rapist.

And I doubt he ever will be. Truthfully, most of the shit he says about women sounds more like him trying to be a hardcore badass who's too alpha for those fucking bitches than Marjan, who sounds like an actual psychopath.

So look at it this way, Connor- you'll (probably) never be as bad as Marjan Siklic.
That's not a lot, though, is it?

Honestly, if you actually want to change your life, you'll have to change your circumstances and environment too. And that means getting off the fucking internet, or at least getting off a fucking forum where people will never see you as anything but a sad joke.

We're not your friends. There are no friends among anonymous internet strangers gathered together for the sole purpose of laughing at weirdos.

Plenty of us are friends and to imply otherwise is silly.

We just don't make friends with Connor's type.

 

[Watcher]

Tales from Line of the Day. Featuring Connor.

1. http://kiwifarms.net/data/avatars/s/0/217.jpg?1410305398 A moment ago - Judge Holden:
   @ Cuddlebug, frankly connor should be glad if he was molested, since its the only sex he will ever get
2. http://kiwifarms.net/data/avatars/s/0/465.jpg?1411036040 A moment ago - Cuddlebug:
   @ Judge Holden, I really feel bad for wanting to LOTD that

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

1. http://kiwifarms.net/data/avatars/s/0/217.jpg?1410305398 A moment ago - Judge Holden:
   @ Cuddlebug, connor will do to Nulls ass what he did to the english language with his shitty fcking novel

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

1. http://kiwifarms.net/data/avatars/s/1/1462.jpg?1412725089 A moment ago - Connor:
   @ Null, my dick can smite you.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

1. http://kiwifarms.net/data/avatars/s/3/3184.jpg?1408041665 A moment ago - Karen:
   Connor I think is the only one I've given bad ratings to

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

1. http://kiwifarms.net/data/avatars/s/1/1462.jpg?1408638370 A moment ago - Connor:
   @ CatParty, I always look up fart videos. I was desperate for a quick fap, and splooged.

Null's Shrek is love Shrek is life parody with Connor

Spoiler

1. http://kiwifarms.net/data/avatars/s/0/1.jpg?1410342783 A moment ago - Null:
   connor spreads his butthole for molly
2. http://kiwifarms.net/data/avatars/s/0/1.jpg?1410342783 A moment ago - Null:
   she penetrates him
3. http://kiwifarms.net/data/avatars/s/0/1.jpg?1410342783 A moment ago - Null:
   it hurts so much but he does it for molly
4. http://kiwifarms.net/data/avatars/s/0/1.jpg?1410342783 A moment ago - Null:
   he can feel his butt tearing as molly fills him with his love
5. http://kiwifarms.net/data/avatars/s/0/1.jpg?1410342783 A moment ago - Null:
   someone walks through the door
6. http://kiwifarms.net/data/avatars/s/0/1.jpg?1410342783 A moment ago - Null:
   it's juno
7. http://kiwifarms.net/data/avatars/s/0/1.jpg?1410342783 A moment ago - Null:
   molly looks at her
8. http://kiwifarms.net/data/avatars/s/0/1.jpg?1410342783 A moment ago - Null:
   "it's all ogre now"
9. http://kiwifarms.net/data/avatars/s/1/1066.jpg?1410482407 A moment ago - exball:
   CONNOR LOVES THE F OUTTA MOLLY LEE WALSH!
10. http://kiwifarms.net/data/avatars/s/0/1.jpg?1410342783 A moment ago - Null:
    molly flies out the window
11. http://kiwifarms.net/data/avatars/s/0/1.jpg?1410342783 A moment ago - Null:
    molly is love
12. http://kiwifarms.net/data/avatars/s/0/1.jpg?1410342783 A moment ago - Null:
    molly is life

 

[Ariel]

I'm guessing it's more like they were neglectful and didn't give Connor-Chan enough attention. Since Connor has a repugnant personality and isn't able to get the attention he craves he instead acts like a brain damaged chimp online to get people to notice him.

Well you're a real dad. If you had a son who behaved like Connor in his 20s you would try to create some emotional distance for your own sanity right?

 

[lolwut]

Well shit, here I thought he was just the overly-sensitive boy that picked fights with Null all the time. Looking forward to seeing how deep this rabbit hole goes.

And Conner? Gods and garters you're a lazy motherfucker. You're an adult, you can get a part-time job power of attorney or no. I'm taking five classes right now in addition to working the same part-time job I've had for the past eight years (minus an unsuccessful foray in the US Infantry) and yet I still have time for all my hobbies and post my unwarranted aggression on here every day. You can do a fuck of a lot more with only one goddamn math class.

You say you lack initiative? Fucking find some. You really think motivation is just something you're born with? It's an acquired trait. It's absol-fucking-lutely an acquired trait. Even with my job, I was an unmotivated sack of shit as a teenager. Then one day I met a man I only know as "Drill Sergeant" who taught me that the trick to doing literally anything is to just shut the fuck up and get doin' it. I ran two miles in thirteen-and-a-half minutes on a broken fucking foot. Those were the longest minutes of my life punctuated by the most intense pain I've ever experienced. That moment taught me to resent the boy I used to be. The boy who always talked about how he was "Totes gonna improve my life you guis! But first, here's all the reasons why I can't!" The man that came back to that shitty old part-time job doesn't give a fuck about why he can't do something. He doesn't have a list of how he wants to improve his life, he just does it.

I was going to write up another paragraph about how you need to learn what you really should be giving a fuck about, since you've been wasting all your fucks on stupid bullshit, but I've got to get up in three hours so I'll just let this fine gentleman do it for me.

 

[Pikonic]

@Connor you say you want to be a teacher? I can tell you right now you'll never make it. My wife is a teacher. It's damn hard work and it taxes you in every way imaginable, physically, mentally, and emotionally. You're too much of a whiny crybaby to make it as a teacher. You think we're mean to you? Those kids will be far worse.

If you somehow manage to make it out of school, get your degree in education, get your teaching license, and actually get a job at a school, I'd give you a term, maybe a semester, before you chimp out, quit your teaching job, and are back on WrongPlanet making bitch posts about how your students were mean and disrespectful and said things that hurt your feewings and make excuses saying how it wasn't your fault and you had to quit because you were being harassed.

He's right, I've seen teachers break down in public school and cry, and it only makes it worse for them. I've also seen a teacher leave mid year.
@Connor, have you ever worked with children, I taught swim lessons for 6 years and a lot of my coworkers were going to be teachers. Did you take any child development classes? Teaching is a lot more than knowing the subject you're teaching.
A lot of people think teaching is easy, it's not.

 

[Dalish]

"cesspool of ableism" man, does Connor know what ableism is? Or does lifting a dictionary burn too many calories for him to be interested?

You know what's real ableism Connor? Being denied a job because of a disability. Not being able to get to class because there are no elevators in a 12 story building and you have a cane and bum leg. Being a fat autist and being called a fat autist are a direct result of your words and actions, not just because you're fat and autistic.

You know you can get power of attorney back, right? All you have to do is petition the court and get a letter from y-- oh, I'm sorry. This might be too much work for your autistic, fat ass to undertake. You have to talk to three whole people and maybe get a job. Forget I brought it up.

 

[24isthehighestnumber]

He's right, I've seen teachers break down in public school and cry, and it only makes it worse for them. I've also seen a teacher leave mid year.
@Connor, have you ever worked with children, I taught swim lessons for 6 years and a lot of my coworkers were going to be teachers. Did you take any child development classes? Teaching is a lot more than knowing the subject you're teaching.
A lot of people think teaching is easy, it's not.

The Dude and Pikonoc are very right. I decided not to teach as a career for unrelated reasons, but I completed my degree and a full semester of student teaching in the inner city. Throughout earning that degree, I spent time in rich suburban schools doing clinical observation hours. One thing is certain: students (especially high school students) would absolutely eat Connor alive. And if it's not the kids, it's administrators, parents, or other teachers. With his current attitude, I guarantee Connor could not make it to the other side of a teaching degree. It's not so much that it's a grueling, torturous thing. It's just that it takes a thicker skin and a lot more resolve than Connor has demonstrated himself to have.

 

[Smutley]

While we wait for our home grown Brilliant Boy to return, let's crack open the vaults for some Classic Connor!

Hannibal Lecter, or Buffalo Bill?

Spoiler

Molly Ringwald isn't a person, but a genre. Let's deconstruct redesign her

Spoiler

Connor is always competing in the My Life Sucks olympics, even when it's not being run

Spoiler

Since he has so much to offer Connor wants to be a penpal to sick children

Spoiler

Connor talks about how he can't rip off NGE any more because he's an awful writer

Spoiler

LOL "let's deconstruct the Molly Ringwald Character in a non-parodic silence of the lambs meets Blade Runner meets Neon Genesis meets Harlan Ellison"

Spoiler

Which leaves me with one question - @Connor, what did you do to get banned?

Bonus Content: Connor talks politics

Spoiler

http://news.yahoo.com/romney-promis...3a-4efa-8d57-a96377aea146&_profileOut=comment

 

[Cuck Norris]

According to Wrongplanet it will be when hell freezes over

Spoiler

View attachment 12999

All the talk about Connor's abusive/not abusive parents is really reasonable but I'm leaning more to the side that some of it (his dad trying to cut his dick off with some kind of pool toy?) is a flat out lie while the real stuff (his parents telling him to shut up in public and poking his fat belly) are extremely exaggerated.

His aunt knows all about these horrors, right? He said that in a post, and she did nothing but say "if it's really this bad, you need to call the authorities". Maybe I'm overreaching, but you'd think someone who heard their nephew they care for was being abused by the monsters he's made his parents out to be, she'd have either helped him do it, offered to let him stay, or done it herself.

A girl I was friends with for a long time was a crazy self absorbed liar too. When I met her in middle school, she told me her parents were involved in black masses, and they locked her in a coffin her father built and kept in his shed while they did their ceremonies on moonless nights. When the DC snipers were running rampant, even though she lived 3 counties away, she would post these frantic, breathless missives on Livejournal about how she was "literally almost killed by these maniacs" because she used the same gas station as a victim a month earlier.

That is, in my mind, Connor, someone who doesn't get enough attention from resentful parents and exaggerates all their faults (like his mother being an alcoholic for drinking at Applebees). If his folks really did all this shit? Then they're really awful people, and I'm sorry for the suffering he's had, no one, especially a child, should go through it.

But even if they did, it doesn't change the fact every conversation he has ever had anywhere he has gone his entire has been about Connor. When his mom told him to shut up at dinner because she was so drunk? It was because he started talking about his goddamned book again and I'm sure they are very tired of hearing about how great it is.

Oh I believe the "they berated me in the restaurant" thing happened. He just misinterpreted it. To him, they were being total assholes. To his parents, they were sick of him bitching about wanting to write but never actually writing anything. I mean, we can certainly identify. To quote my favorite modern poet: "So many kids love being writers, more than they love writing."

 

[introman]

Props to @introman for remembering.

My offer still stands Connor. If you prove my point from Null's post. I will do what I exactly said in the Talk to Staff thread. Even if it means me losing mod position.

 

[wagglyplacebo]

Since he has so much to offer Connor wants to be a penpal to sick children

No one deserves to be forced to read Connor's writing. That poor kid.

 

[TrippinKahlua]

Connor, fellow Molly Ringwald fan, after reading this thread fully, now I get it.

I usually try not to fraternize with the other members like that, which is why I barely knew much about you except you were a local sperg and you loved Molly Ringwald a lot, but you really are a waste of life.

You only take one class per semester? What kind of waste of money and time is that? You're still paying for board and food from the college, aren't you? And you won't use your enormous amount of free time to try to better your life? Well, suddenly, my first semester of my own college life doesn't seem so bad (I didn't go until I was 21 because again, like you, I'm not that smart and didn't want to make the adjustment, and fucked up real bad on my first semester, even failing out of class for sleeping in too much).

And about using your real name everywhere you go on the internet, dude, don't you know this is the age of social media? Even if you don't use your real last name, its pretty easy enough to connect enough dots, causing even more dox to be dropped on you.

Dude, stop logging into here and go to the gym. I promise after 15 months of weight lifting and eating sensibly, you'll also knock out your masturbation problem, because the girls would be all over you.

 

[Artard]

Connor, fellow Molly Ringwald fan, after reading this thread fully, now I get it.

I usually try not to fraternize with the other members like that, which is why I barely knew much about you except you were a local sperg and you loved Molly Ringwald a lot, but you really are a waste of life.

You only take one class per semester? What kind of waste of money and time is that? You're still paying for board and food from the college, aren't you? And you won't use your enormous amount of free time to try to better your life? Well, suddenly, my first semester of my own college life doesn't seem so bad (I didn't go until I was 21 because again, like you, I'm not that smart and didn't want to make the adjustment, and fucked up real bad on my first semester, even failing out of class for sleeping in too much).

And about using your real name everywhere you go on the internet, dude, don't you know this is the age of social media? Even if you don't use your real last name, its pretty easy enough to connect enough dots, causing even more dox to be dropped on you.

Dude, stop logging into here and go to the gym. I promise after 15 months of weight lifting and eating sensibly, you'll also knock out your masturbation problem, because the girls would be all over you.

I believe he goes here, it's a two year community college so there isn't room & board.

Not that they have anything in common other than tearful masturbation and violent fantasies, but Elliot Rodger did the same thing per his manifesto: he took 1 class (online even) so his parents would continue paying for his lifestyle.

ETA:

TCL enrolls approximately 2,600 students, of which approximately 1,600 are considered full-time equivalent students. Nearly one-half of students enrolled are minorities, and 72 percent are female. Nearly 80 percent receiving some degree of financial aid.

There's a nearly 3:1 female/male ratio and Connor is walking around campus, mumbling about mass murder into a tape recorder and contemplating how he wants to punch every woman he sees in the face. What are you even doing son?