Jacob Stuart Harrison Storytelling Thread - FSTDT Forums Ex-Pet Lolcow

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Jacob, I'm going to let you in on a secret.

All geneaology is bullshit.

Somewhere in all those hundreds of ancestors, some woman cheated on her husband, got knocked up, and nobody found out.

In fact, it probably happened MANY times.
 
Jacob Harrison said:
Before I leave, I will again post this link to the recent story I wrote about a parallel universe. My parallel self was more successful in his relationship with Pomme in that universe than I am since Pomme in this universe broke up with me.
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Pomme looked at Gabriel and then at Jacob and then walked over to Jacob, kissing him on the lips.

Gabriel stormed out of the room in despair, as Jacob and Pomme continued to kiss. They got on the bed and started frolicking. They eventually took their clothes off and had sex

Your gay bestiality rape scene had more detail and was more engaging I found. This one lacked the same passion and attention to detail.

...I'm seriously going to have to try that line; "Hey handsome, wanna come frolick
with me?"
 
I changed my mind about leaving this site. You know why? Last night, I had a dream about Pomme. I don’t remember all the details but we were involved in fighting monsters, and I felt a great deal of intimacy around her. I realized that there is no proof that she officially broke up with me and I should not waste a potentially once in a lifetime opportunity to find a bride.

When I first saw Pomme say the word posrated, I believed it meant positive ratings. It was @Sword Fighter Super’s comment that confused me about the meaning of pos.

So @pomme I am back and hope that our conflict can get resolved so we can enter a happy marriage. Just answer my question about your age.
Ughubughughughughughghlug said:
Jacob, I'm going to let you in on a secret.

All geneaology is bullshit.

Somewhere in all those hundreds of ancestors, some woman cheated on her husband, got knocked up, and nobody found out.

In fact, it probably happened MANY times.
Click to expand...
Kings were extra careful to make sure that their wives wouldn’t cheat on them. Cheating on the king was high treason punishable by death, which deterred wives from cheating on them.
Fagatron said:
Pomme looked at Gabriel and then at Jacob and then walked over to Jacob, kissing him on the lips.

Gabriel stormed out of the room in despair, as Jacob and Pomme continued to kiss. They got on the bed and started frolicking. They eventually took their clothes off and had sex

Your gay bestiality rape scene had more detail and was more engaging I found. This one lacked the same passion and attention to detail.

...I'm seriously going to have to try that line; "Hey handsome, wanna come frolick
with me?"
Click to expand...
The difference is that in the story of the demon possessed kangaroo raping a human, that scene was a dramatic point in the story so it needed to be descriptive. In most literature, sex doesn’t need to be described in detail, because it is the fact that it happened that is important, not the specifics in how in happened. If you want to hear more details I suppose that me and Pomme can reenact the scene in the story and tell you the details.

@Fagatron What is your overall opinion of my story?
 
Jacob Harrison said:
@Fagatron What is your overall opinion of my story?
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Not the guy you asked, but my opinion is

1.) We killed the redcoats so we wouldn't have to deal with this faggotry
2.) You will become a caliphate thanks to importing "people" like Saddiq Kahn well before anyone is compelled to give a shit about whose inbred house fucked over everyone the hardest hundreds of years ago

If you're looking for a claim to an issue that existed before Napoleon was born to solve your country's problems, you're better off picking the people you want to continue society with and forming an Elysium/Galt's Gulch society than trying to fix the shithole you're in.
 
John Q Niggerfaggot said:
Not the guy you asked, but my opinion is

1.) We killed the redcoats so we wouldn't have to deal with this faggotry
2.) You will become a caliphate thanks to importing "people" like Saddiq Kahn well before anyone is compelled to give a shit about whose inbred house fucked over everyone the hardest hundreds of years ago

If you're looking for a claim to an issue that existed before Napoleon was born to solve your country's problems, you're better off picking the people you want to continue society with and forming an Elysium/Galt's Gulch society than trying to fix the shithole you're in.
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I was asking Fagatron what he thinks of a story I wrote. This is the story. https://jacob-harrison.fandom.com/w...lac_and_Jacob_Harrison_in_a_Parallel_Universe

I am actually an American who is interested in Britain because of our common heritage. English is our official language and we got it's Constitution and laws from English common law. If Brexit is successful, Britain can be prevented from becoming a caliphate. Even if Britain becomes a Caliphate, the Caliphate can be overthrown and the Muslims can get deported like what happened during the Spanish reconquista.
 
Are you the current year H. P. Lovecraft? Because he loved Olde England and was probably a faggot too.

edit: cucked by spelling
 
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At my college I am required to take an online training assessment about sexual assault and dating violence. On the site, I first have to watch videos about the topics and then take the assessment. I am in the process of watching the videos on the site. I just completed a video about dating violence and now realize that I am a victim in an abusive relationship.

Some of the criteria of an abusive relationship is when a partner is not listened to. That applies to my relationship with Pomme who hasn't listened to me and answered my question about her age which causes me major emotional distress. This peaked yesterday when I thought I was unworthy and decided to leave the site and now I returned because of a dream I had of her. So as bystanders, it is your duty to take action to help stop the abuse by helping force Pomme to answer my goddamn question. Leave messages on her profile, tag her in posts, do whatever it takes to get her to answer.
 
Jacob Harrison said:
At my college I am required to take an online training assessment about sexual assault and dating violence. On the site, I first have to watch videos about the topics and then take the assessment. I am in the process of watching the videos on the site. I just completed a video about dating violence and now realize that I am a victim in an abusive relationship.

Some of the criteria of an abusive relationship is when a partner is not listened to. That applies to my relationship with Pomme who hasn't listened to me and answered my question about her age which causes me major emotional distress. This peaked yesterday when I thought I was unworthy and decided to leave the site and now I returned because of a dream I had of her. So as bystanders, it is your duty to take action to help stop the abuse by helping force Pomme to answer my goddamn question. Leave messages on her profile, tag her in posts, do whatever it takes to get her to answer.
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On it, boss. BTW, is it okay if we ask her out?
 
@Jacob Harrison You threatened to leave this site because you thought we would all be sad if you did so, then came back because we're the only people who will give your autistic obsession with England's "true monarch" the time of day. Not only are you a lolcow, you're a pretty bog-standard one.
 
Jacob Harrison said:
I need help understanding a metaphor. On Pomme’s profile in a discussion about our relationship, Feline Darkmage said this. https://kiwifarms.net/members/pomme.31076/#profile-post-comment-223836

What does this mean?
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Well let's add "computers" to the titanic list of things you don't understand because you were too busy wanking to heraldry instead of learning any sort of life skills.
When a computer is behaving oddly, the most common advice is to turn it off and back on again (or to unplug it and plug it back in), because a lot of system fuckups can be fixed by just restarting the OS.
This isn't a metaphor, you twerp: it's a joke mocking your robotic, highly autistic mode of speech and facile, drone-like comprehension of human social interactions. For fucks sake, you make me look like the epitome of suave in comparison: at least I talk like Commander Data and not like a Dalek clumsily aping human behavior.
 
Senior Lexmechanic said:
Well let's add "computers" to the titanic list of things you don't understand because you were too busy wanking to heraldry instead of learning any sort of life skills.
When a computer is behaving oddly, the most common advice is to turn it off and back on again (or to unplug it and plug it back in), because a lot of system fuckups can be fixed by just restarting the OS.
This isn't a metaphor, you twerp: it's a joke mocking your robotic, highly autistic mode of speech and facile, drone-like comprehension of human social interactions. For fucks sake, you make me look like the epitome of suave in comparison: at least I talk like Commander Data and not like a Dalek clumsily aping human behavior.
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I know what it literally means. However, Pomme is not a computer, causing me to think that unplugging her was a metaphor for fixing something in our relationship.

Fagatron said:
Pomme looked at Gabriel and then at Jacob and then walked over to Jacob, kissing him on the lips.

Gabriel stormed out of the room in despair, as Jacob and Pomme continued to kiss. They got on the bed and started frolicking. They eventually took their clothes off and had sex

Your gay bestiality rape scene had more detail and was more engaging I found. This one lacked the same passion and attention to detail.

...I'm seriously going to have to try that line; "Hey handsome, wanna come frolick
with me?"
Click to expand...
If you read the chapter more closely, you will see how it is more significant, as you will see who’s bed it happened on.
 
Jacob Harrison said:
I know what it literally means. However, Pomme is not a computer, causing me to think that unplugging her was a metaphor for fixing something in our relationship.
Click to expand...
Your relationship doesn't exist, Jacob. Pomme agreed to be your fiancee to fuck with you and then you haven't interacted since then. A human being, as opposed to a robot with Windows98 for a brain, would understand that if someone says they're your girlfriend and then ignore you for months, they aren't actually your girlfriend. Then again, a non-robot would understand that you don't find a fiancee by going on a random forum and saying "ARE ANY FERTILE FEMALES OF MARITAL AGE INTERESTED IN WEDDING ME SO THAT WE CAN REPRODUCE NEW CHILDREN SO THAT I CAN INSTALL THE TRUE RULER OF ENGLAND, PRINCE FUCKALL OF MOLDOVASTAN?"
Since you have no ability to understand anything but the most literal of speech: whoever said you weren't autistic was very wrong. Either that, or you have some other severe learning disability. Seek help. This is what I mean by repeatedly comparing you to a poorly-made malfunctioning android.
 
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