Jacob Stuart Harrison Storytelling Thread - FSTDT Forums Ex-Pet Lolcow

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Jacob Harrison said:
@Fagatron What is your overall opinion of my story?
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I haven't read it all. Once I realized this was a universe which included the likes of Yahweh, Bowser and the Koopalings etc were core to the plot I turned off a bit and did other stuff.

I second @Senior Lexmechanic however. Nobody here has caused you trouble since we have a....Uh...thing(?) here that discourages/prohibits interacting or otherwise fucking with Lolcows online on other sites or in the real world. Considering that you're so well profiled on Fundies say the Darnest things and you've been so prolific online it's nothing short of sheer dumb luck that you don't pop up at the top of Google the same way other Catholic-cows like Skylar Ittner do.

One of these days someone is going to read this shit and pull a Bluespike or Idea Guys thinking it'll be the funniest shit ever, and it'll be a lot worse than @pomme shitposting.

Edit: It occurred to me people who haven't been following Chris might have no idea who I'm even talking about.


BlueSpike - CWCki

sonichu.com sonichu.com

Idea Guys - CWCki

sonichu.com sonichu.com

It should be a cautionary tale for Jacob, but I know he won't absorb it.
 
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Senior Lexmechanic said:
Your relationship doesn't exist, Jacob. Pomme agreed to be your fiancee to fuck with you and then you haven't interacted since then. A human being, as opposed to a robot with Windows98 for a brain, would understand that if someone says they're your girlfriend and then ignore you for months, they aren't actually your girlfriend. Then again, a non-robot would understand that you don't find a fiancee by going on a random forum and saying "ARE ANY FERTILE FEMALES OF MARITAL AGE INTERESTED IN WEDDING ME SO THAT WE CAN REPRODUCE NEW CHILDREN SO THAT I CAN INSTALL THE TRUE RULER OF ENGLAND, PRINCE FUCKALL OF MOLDOVASTAN?"
Since you have no ability to understand anything but the most literal of speech: whoever said you weren't autistic was very wrong. Either that, or you have some other severe learning disability. Seek help. This is what I mean by repeatedly comparing you to a poorly-made malfunctioning android.
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You made a good point about how I should have realized that @pomme was fucking with me when she ignored my questions. The final confirmation that she was fucking with me was the fact that she liked AprilRain’s comment that said we are incompatible. So Pomme, you know what I have to say about this?

FUCK YOU FOR TRICKING ME YOU SADISTIC CUNT! YOU WERE THE WOMAN I HAD THE MOST ROMANTIC LOVE TOWARDS IN MY LIFE! I AM AS HURT AS CHRIS CHAN WAS WHEN HE REALIZED THAT JULIE ISN’T REAL! YOU MUST BE A RADICAL FEMINIST WHO TAKES SADISTIC PLEASURE AT THE SUFFERING OF MEN!

I WILL GET MY REVENGE ON YOU! I WILL EDIT MY AWESOME STORY TO REPLACE YOU WITH SOMEONE ELSE AND THE WRITE A HUMILIATING STORY ABOUT YOU THAT WILL SURPASS THAT OF MY REVENGE STORY ABOUT SWEETDEE!
 
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Jacob Harrison said:
FUCK YOU FOR TRICKING ME YOU SADISTIC CUNT! YOU WERE THE WOMAN I HAD THE MOST ROMANTIC LOVE TOWARDS IN MY LIFE! I AM AS HURT AS CHRIS CHAN WAS WHEN HE REALIZED THAT JULIE ISN’T REAL! YOU MUST BE A RADICAL FEMINIST WHO TAKES SADISTIC PLEASURE AT THE SUFFERING OF MEN!

I WILL GET MY REVENGE ON YOU! I WILL EDIT MY AWESOME STORY TO REPLACE YOU WITH SOMEONE ELSE AND THE WRITE A HUMILIATING STORY ABOUT YOU THAT WILL SURPASS THAT OF MY REVENGE STORY ABOUT SWEETDEE!
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Aw shit. He busted out the Caps Lock. Oh Laaaawd Jesus it's a fioore.
 
Jacob Harrison said:
FUCK YOU FOR TRICKING ME YOU SADISTIC CUNT! YOU WERE THE WOMAN I HAD THE MOST ROMANTIC LOVE TOWARDS IN MY LIFE! I AM AS HURT AS CHRIS CHAN WAS WHEN HE REALIZED THAT JULIE ISN’T REAL! YOU MUST BE A RADICAL FEMINIST WHO TAKES SADISTIC PLEASURE AT THE SUFFERING OF MEN!

I WILL GET MY REVENGE ON YOU! I WILL EDIT MY AWESOME STORY TO REPLACE YOU WITH SOMEONE ELSE AND THE WRITE A HUMILIATING STORY ABOUT YOU THAT WILL SURPASS THAT OF MY REVENGE STORY ABOUT SWEETDEE!
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...Is this a meme?
Jacob, I want you to realize this isn't a healthy way to react to realizing your pretend internet girlfriend was pretending. You are humiliating yourself by doing this, and if you edit your "awesome story" and write some revenge "fic", you'll only be humiliating yourself worse. You've been warned enough, so if you keep this shit up, I'm not going to whiteknight for you; I'll be in the crowd laughing at your impotent flailing.
 
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Senior Lexmechanic said:
...Is this a meme?
Jacob, I want you to realize this isn't a healthy way to react to realizing your pretend internet girlfriend was pretending. You are humiliating yourself by doing this, and if you edit your "awesome story" and write some revenge "fic", you'll only be humiliating yourself worse. You've been warned enough, so if you keep this shit up, I'm not going to whiteknight for you; I'll be in the crowd laughing at your impotent flailing.
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Shut up and get out of the way. I want to watch him dance.
 
Jacob Harrison said:
You made a good point about how I should have realized that @pomme was fucking with me when she ignored my questions. The final confirmation that she was fucking with me was the fact that she liked AprilRain’s comment that said we are incompatible. So Pomme, you know what I have to say about this?

FUCK YOU FOR TRICKING ME YOU SADISTIC CUNT! YOU WERE THE WOMAN I HAD THE MOST ROMANTIC LOVE TOWARDS IN MY LIFE! I AM AS HURT AS CHRIS CHAN WAS WHEN HE REALIZED THAT JULIE ISN’T REAL! YOU MUST BE A RADICAL FEMINIST WHO TAKES SADISTIC PLEASURE AT THE SUFFERING OF MEN!

I WILL GET MY REVENGE ON YOU! I WILL EDIT MY AWESOME STORY TO REPLACE YOU WITH SOMEONE ELSE AND THE WRITE A HUMILIATING STORY ABOUT YOU THAT WILL SURPASS THAT OF MY REVENGE STORY ABOUT SWEETDEE!
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Jacob's reminding me of Somebody. I wonder who it could be?
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I realized that there is another possible explanation to why @pomme hasn’t been answering my questions. If this explanation is true, then I feel very terrible for snapping at her.

She could have extreme anxiety or post traumatic stress disorder that makes her very socially awkward. She might want to respond but has trouble doing so. Evidence for this is, looking at her activity, she rates comments more often than she posts and her posts are very infrequent. Her most recent post was Wednesday.

I will try to figure this out. Pomme, if this theory is true, may you please rate this post with agree? If it is true, then I will apologize for my outburst.
 
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Senior Lexmechanic said:
No. Figure it out yourself, big boy.
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But I am not an expert about PTSD. I do take anxiety medications but I know that different people’s anxiety can affect them in different ways and I am not a therapist. You seem to have more knowledge on these subjects so it is unfair that you are withholding that knowledge.

My body is itching like crazy right now probably due to the stress of not knowing about this. If I don’t figure this out by the time my fall classes start, the stress can impact my academic performance.

UPDATE:The itching got better. It must have been caused by a combination of stress and the summer heat.
 
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Senior Lexmechanic said:
And it's unfair that you expect me to be an infinite font of niceness and help for you and inflict your repugnant personality on others. Life isn't fair, Jakey.
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Ok. Now that I am forced to figure it out myself, I realize that Pomme doesn’t seem to have extreme anxiety or PTSD. Now that I am ensured that she has been fucking with me, I can resume work on my projects. It surprises me that none of you expressed disgust at Pomme for her hurtful prank. People were disgusted at BlueSpike for doing the same type of hurtful prank on Chris Chan, so what makes our situation’s different?
 
Jacob Harrison said:
Ok. Now that I am forced to figure it out myself, I realize that Pomme doesn’t seem to have extreme anxiety or PTSD. Now that I am ensured that she has been fucking with me, I can resume work on my projects. It surprises me that none of you expressed disgust at Pomme for her hurtful prank. People were disgusted at BlueSpike for doing the same type of hurtful prank on Chris Chan, so what makes our situation’s different?
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Because Bluespike put an incredible amount of effort into his deceit and used it to make Chris-Chan publicly humiliate himself. You do that just fine without prompting, and pomme literally just went 'I'll be ur gf' and did nothing else. Your situations are nothing alike, and the fact you think they are just goes to show that you're a grade-a nitwit.
 
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