Containment Random Thoughts & Questions

[Mr. 0]

Chris was the real mastermind behind the Finders

Look at this fuckin map and tell me Culpeper, Virginia isn't suspect as fuck.

How many roads in/out of town do you need?

It's a stone's throw away from Ruckersville.

 

[Misaki Nakahara]

I fucking hate the Chris board.

Every day of my life for YEARS, I've set time out of my day aside to check in on the misadventures of some random developmentally challenged guy in a country I've never been to. I've watched him humiliated, manipulated, degraded and generally tossed around by a cast of colourful characters in some kind of perverse Truman Show. Often I laughed, often I recoiled in disgust (un-clit, anyone?) and sometimes I felt really bad for the guy (to this day I've never heard the medallion-up-the-ass call in its entirety because it's so hard to get through).

It just feels bleak now. Chris isn't the Internet's jester any more, you can't contact him through Mailbag in the hopes of provoking one of his infamous angry bedroom rants. He's more like the Internet's worn-out sex toy. He's been fucked so hard there's nothing left. It's like looking at your old granddad with Alzheimer's who just doesn't respond to anything and thinking back to when his mind was sharp as a tack. Any humour to be derived from Chris has been thoroughly spent over the past decade, already meticulously detailed on the CWCki.

Chris has evolved from a naive autistic manchild into an unabashedly insane and unstable man. And Chris trolling has evolved from "haha fat man angry" to just extorting and manipulating an un-medicated crazy person and calling him something else. He's most likely having full-on hallucinations and believes he's the goddess of another dimension, and there are still people slapping him around to see if they can get a reaction out of him. Some would disagree but to me, that's not funny, it's just sad.

I hope this whole bleak story comes to an end soon so Null can finally shut down the Chris board and we can all move on.

 

[The American Hedgehog]

I hope this whole bleak story comes to an end soon so Null can finally shut down the Chris board and we can all move on.

It should've ended three years ago when Chris's delusions compelled him to slash his taint open. He should've been put on a psych hold for that with mental support services involved.

It should've ended a year and a half ago when it was revealed how the Idea Guys had been able to manipulate him into hitting his mom and handing over the mortgage money to them, Adult Protective Services should've gotten involved and arranged a caretaker or group home for Chris.

It should've ended half a year ago when he was raving to an actual shrink about his crazy dimensional fantasies and imaginary friends. But the shrink shit herself and did nothing.

Chris's knack for slipping through the cracks in the mental health system means he's doomed to the same downward spiral of people screwing with his mind until he eventually keels over from a heart attack.

 

[Tikbalang]

I

It should've ended three years ago when Chris's delusions compelled him to slash his taint open. He should've been put on a psych hold for that with mental support services involved.

It should've ended a year and a half ago when it was revealed how the Idea Guys had been able to manipulate him into hitting his mom and handing over the mortgage money to them, Adult Protective Services should've gotten involved and arranged a caretaker or group home for Chris.

It should've ended half a year ago when he was raving to an actual shrink about his crazy dimensional fantasies and imaginary friends. But the shrink shit herself and did nothing.

Chris's knack for slipping through the cracks in the mental health system means he's doomed to the same downward spiral of people screwing with his mind until he eventually keels over from a heart attack.

In short: Chris never learns. Chris never grows up

 

[The handsome tard]

I

In short: Chris never learns. Chris never grows up

Chris...
Chris never changes...

 

[Rupin]

If you met one of Chris’s orbiters in real life, would you be inclined to bust him or her upside the head?

 

[GherkinRealness]

I fucking hate the Chris board.

Every day of my life for YEARS, I've set time out of my day aside to check in on the misadventures of some random developmentally challenged guy in a country I've never been to. I've watched him humiliated, manipulated, degraded and generally tossed around by a cast of colourful characters in some kind of perverse Truman Show. Often I laughed, often I recoiled in disgust (un-clit, anyone?) and sometimes I felt really bad for the guy (to this day I've never heard the medallion-up-the-ass call in its entirety because it's so hard to get through).

It just feels bleak now. Chris isn't the Internet's jester any more, you can't contact him through Mailbag in the hopes of provoking one of his infamous angry bedroom rants. He's more like the Internet's worn-out sex toy. He's been fucked so hard there's nothing left. It's like looking at your old granddad with Alzheimer's who just doesn't respond to anything and thinking back to when his mind was sharp as a tack. Any humour to be derived from Chris has been thoroughly spent over the past decade, already meticulously detailed on the CWCki.

Chris has evolved from a naive autistic manchild into an unabashedly insane and unstable man. And Chris trolling has evolved from "haha fat man angry" to just extorting and manipulating an un-medicated crazy person and calling him something else. He's most likely having full-on hallucinations and believes he's the goddess of another dimension, and there are still people slapping him around to see if they can get a reaction out of him. Some would disagree but to me, that's not funny, it's just sad.

I hope this whole bleak story comes to an end soon so Null can finally shut down the Chris board and we can all move on.

Yea but it is funny tho

 

[Stephanie Bustcakes]

I fucking hate the Chris board.

Every day of my life for YEARS, I've set time out of my day aside to check in on the misadventures of some random developmentally challenged guy in a country I've never been to. I've watched him humiliated, manipulated, degraded and generally tossed around by a cast of colourful characters in some kind of perverse Truman Show. Often I laughed, often I recoiled in disgust (un-clit, anyone?) and sometimes I felt really bad for the guy (to this day I've never heard the medallion-up-the-ass call in its entirety because it's so hard to get through).

It just feels bleak now. Chris isn't the Internet's jester any more, you can't contact him through Mailbag in the hopes of provoking one of his infamous angry bedroom rants. He's more like the Internet's worn-out sex toy. He's been fucked so hard there's nothing left. It's like looking at your old granddad with Alzheimer's who just doesn't respond to anything and thinking back to when his mind was sharp as a tack. Any humour to be derived from Chris has been thoroughly spent over the past decade, already meticulously detailed on the CWCki.

Chris has evolved from a naive autistic manchild into an unabashedly insane and unstable man. And Chris trolling has evolved from "haha fat man angry" to just extorting and manipulating an un-medicated crazy person and calling him something else. He's most likely having full-on hallucinations and believes he's the goddess of another dimension, and there are still people slapping him around to see if they can get a reaction out of him. Some would disagree but to me, that's not funny, it's just sad.

I hope this whole bleak story comes to an end soon so Null can finally shut down the Chris board and we can all move on.

Most of that stuff about chris and his orbiters is true, but why does that make you hate the Chris board and want it shut down? We have a non-interference policy, and the posters here overwhelmingly dislike morons trying to harm chris. We even have a thread dedicated to doxing them.

 

[Second Missing Primarch]

If you met one of Chris’s orbiters in real life, would you be inclined to bust him or her upside the head?

Lol no. They're not worth the effort.

 

[Alba gu brath]

For the most part, people expecting a tard to 'get better' just don't quite understand the tardation in the first place.

Put a rat with two water bottles in his cage, one with coke, the other with plain water, wee ratto is going be coked out his head with the normal water left untouched. Same thing with Chris, sit him in his room alone, or let him get his brain chemistry fix of interaction with folk online, however he does it and he'll take exposing and making a fool of himself every time. Maybe earlier on he could have learned not to fall/follow the bait, but it's too ingrained now. Kinda like the lottery effect, barely anyone wins, but millions of numpties are still throwing their money away, he's barely getting any positive interaction, but if can grab that one asspat, then it'll have been worth it.

It just went to the extreme that he's went from your typical mid functional tard, to holy Jebus what's that smell tard. Ain't no fixing that.

 

[AnOminous]

If you met one of Chris’s orbiters in real life, would you be inclined to bust him or her upside the head?

No but I might yell JULAAAAY at them.

 

[Terrorist]

Am I the only one not pissed off by the tugboat? It's subsidizing my entertainment. He's genuinely unemployable now and he needs it to survive. Way more worth it than a netflix account. I'd rather my tax dollars go to sub-min wage subsistence income for a funny sperg than billions to Israel and bank bailouts, IMO.

 

[AnOminous]

Am I the only one not pissed off by the tugboat?

I'm not. And I get assmad about Phil/ADF and Cockless getting tard bucks even though they're probably just as tarded as Chris. Chris may not have personally earned the insurance benefits he's getting but Bob sure as hell earned them.

 

[Alba gu brath]

Am I the only one not pissed off by the tugboat? It's subsidizing my entertainment. He's genuinely unemployable now and he needs it to survive. Way more worth it than a netflix account. I'd rather my tax dollars go to sub-min wage subsistence income for a funny sperg than billions to Israel and bank bailouts, IMO.

Nah, same here. Again, if the tards can actually work, braw and dandy, but the tugboat is as much a protection for normal people from needing to deal with tards, as it is a tard supplement.

 

[Misaki Nakahara]

I'm not. And I get assmad about Phil/ADF and Cockless getting tard bucks even though they're probably just as tarded as Chris. Chris may not have personally earned the insurance benefits he's getting but Bob sure as hell earned them.

I get annoyed by Phil getting the tugboat because he'll take the tugboat, spend it on bullshit and then turn around in the same breath and say the government should be dismantled. The very definition of biting the hand that feeds.

Chris isn't like that. He isn't mentally together enough to have any strong views on the government. He just happily takes his tardbux and spends them on, I dunno, microwave meals and MLP cards. Plus he probably deserves the tugboat at this point. People like to get on their high horse about how Chris should be out working 16-hour shifts for minimum wage but they ignore the fact that Chris, in addition to being lazy, is certifiably insane. There isn't really any job out there he could hold on to.

 

[Chrus Chundlur]

I wonder if Chris acts like this when no one is watching

Fuck, he pretty much acts (almost) like that on camera, so yes.

I fucking hate the Chris board.

Every day of my life for YEARS, I've set time out of my day aside to check in on the misadventures of some random developmentally challenged guy in a country I've never been to. I've watched him humiliated, manipulated, degraded and generally tossed around by a cast of colourful characters in some kind of perverse Truman Show. Often I laughed, often I recoiled in disgust (un-clit, anyone?) and sometimes I felt really bad for the guy (to this day I've never heard the medallion-up-the-ass call in its entirety because it's so hard to get through).

It just feels bleak now. Chris isn't the Internet's jester any more, you can't contact him through Mailbag in the hopes of provoking one of his infamous angry bedroom rants. He's more like the Internet's worn-out sex toy. He's been fucked so hard there's nothing left. It's like looking at your old granddad with Alzheimer's who just doesn't respond to anything and thinking back to when his mind was sharp as a tack. Any humour to be derived from Chris has been thoroughly spent over the past decade, already meticulously detailed on the CWCki.

Chris has evolved from a naive autistic manchild into an unabashedly insane and unstable man. And Chris trolling has evolved from "haha fat man angry" to just extorting and manipulating an un-medicated crazy person and calling him something else. He's most likely having full-on hallucinations and believes he's the goddess of another dimension, and there are still people slapping him around to see if they can get a reaction out of him. Some would disagree but to me, that's not funny, it's just sad.

I hope this whole bleak story comes to an end soon so Null can finally shut down the Chris board and we can all move on.

I still get the occasional laugh (plus the laughs of you guys commenting Chris' antics), and for the rest, morbid curiosity still keeps me hooked.

Also, a lifetime of being exposed to fiction has wired my brain to expect some kind of big finale for Chris' story, although real life doesn't give a shit about wrapping up narratives. Still, Chris has the strange capacity of always managing to surprise and baffle me when I think that he is done or that I have already seen the bottom of his stupidity, he has done this again and again.

Maybe he finally snaps, paints himself like a Sonichu, and runs naked into the traffic at rush hour in front of a live tv crew, and when a truck finally makes him fucking explode we find out he was filled with candy and was a sentient piñata the whole time.

But most probably he'll just quietly croak at home from heart failure surrounded by his own filth and we'll only find out days later from some throwaway "Internet semicelebrity found half-eaten by feral cats at home after neighbours complaints about stench" news piece on local media.

 

[Syaoran Li]

Honestly, even though Chris and Jace were the lolcows who got me to start lurking Kiwi Farms and eventually sign up, the Community Watch board has always been my main jam (although Weeb Wars and the off-topic boards are pretty cool too) and right now, there's only two things that keep me interested in Chris at all.

One is that fact that Chris's life is always prone to some crazy and unexpected twist that completely changes the game, whether it be the end of organized trolling in 2011, the cascade of events that happened in 2014 (the fire, trooning out, and Blarms) or the Idea Guys and the current Dimensional Merge stuff that is a result of their involvement.

The other reason is rather morbid, but I'll be honest about it. I'm waiting for Barb to die and to see how Chris will handle it.

When the other shoe drops and Barb's gone, that's probably the closest to an official "ending" this story can get. Seeing how Chris handles the gravity of a situation as severe as Barb's death will probably be a good indicator of whether or not he'll end up deranged and possibly homeless for the rest of his life, or if he moves into some cheapo apartment and lives off the tugboat until he eventually dies in obscurity.

I'm hoping the latter happens and Barb's death is enough of a shock to snap Chris back into reality and live out the rest of his life in relative peace, but I'm not optimistic.

 

[The American Hedgehog]

Plus he probably deserves the tugboat at this point. People like to get on their high horse about how Chris should be out working 16-hour shifts for minimum wage but they ignore the fact that Chris, in addition to being lazy, is certifiably insane. There isn't really any job out there he could hold on to.

But part of the reason he's as lazy and insane as he is now is because he didn't have something like a job to keep him somewhat grounded. He just plays make-believe and interacts with enablers all day instead.

 

[GherkinRealness]

But part of the reason he's as lazy and insane as he is now is because he didn't have something like a job to keep him somewhat grounded. He just plays make-believe and interacts with enablers all day instead.

Yerp. Chris was never given a degree of responsibility after being fired from Wendy's beyond picking up dinner or taking the car in for fixing. Bob and Barb are entirely responsible for this.

I have well off cousins who are into their early twenties and never had to get a job because of mummy and daddy paying their way for them. As a result, they're spoilt, resistant to any form of chore, blissfully unaware of how soft they've become. They know no troubles beyond the stresses of their mmos or the fact they had to order food instead of walking over minute round the corner to pick up lunch. They have become so disconnected to what the majority of people have to do that it makes me genuinely pissed off when they stare at me in shock when I tell them I worked as a waiter for 5 years.

Chris is like this, only not rich and severely autistic. And incredibly full of himself.

 

[Misaki Nakahara]

But part of the reason he's as lazy and insane as he is now is because he didn't have something like a job to keep him somewhat grounded. He just plays make-believe and interacts with enablers all day instead.

I feel it was a tremendous missed opportunity that none of Chris's heartsweets ever got him into a job.