The naming conventions of pretentious douchebags has remained unchanged throughout. It's the Basic Becky naming schemes that have went on a ride and led to the weird not-names we are seeing now.
Aiden was part of the -den craze of 2000-2010. Aiden, Brayden, Caiden, Hayden, Jayden, Kayden, Laydon, Payden, etc. It was sort of ground zero for this random sounds strung together bullshit and it lines up pretty well with when Millenials (those born in the 80s and early 90s) started shitting out kids. The amalgamation of sounds started becoming a thing once people thought that simply taking a sound and mating it with -den wasn't creative enough for their special snowflake and started doing it to both sides. Ailee, Brayson, Cayton, Haylee, Jaymon, Kayton, etc. Two syllables, usually parts of normal names, just smooshed together. That's the standard.
Jesus just name a kid a real name like Paul or Sarah. Those are fine names. Be normal you fucking weirdos.
But if you give your kids normal names people will assume that they're 30 years older than they actually are. It would be like naming your son "Edgar" or your daughter "Edith".
In college when they sent out emails to the entire dorm it was always fun to see the crazy names. It was 1/3 normal names, 1/3 foreign names (mostly kebab so lots of "Muhammads" and "Ahmeds" and "Alis" with some Pajeet/Chinese), and 1/3 ghetto names. The girls had the craziest names, you'd see endless weird spellings of "Princess" or "Precious" or "Sh'quanda" and shit like that, the guys just sounded like NFL players. I can't remember any sadly, aside from two guys who lived in the same dorm as me named Quantavious and Colonial (I laughed my ass off when I first saw the guy's name). IIRC Colonial flunked out after a semester, Quantavious was an asshole and I got into a fight with him and his friends once. He was bros with some guy named Trayvon, like Trayvon Martin (this was right after that happened), and Trayvon was an even bigger asshole. I didn't meet Colonial much, but he was some skinny guy who was still kind of a dick. That dorm was fucked up because people would blast rap music all night long when they weren't vandalizing shit which they'd blame on folks from the historically black college down the road (which was even more ghetto) they'd invited to party with them, and everyone had to pay for their shit.
I've worked with a lot of black people with weird names, but at least the black men have names like "LaDarius" which sound like NFL players. A lot of black women I've worked with have names like "JaKesha" and are less likely to have "normal" names like many black men do which is unfortunate. I don't know why black people think that sounds nice since African languages are pretty cool and even naming you kid some Muslim shit (like "Jamal") sounds better than those hood names. Although a lot of Africans I've met have Muslim names or are Christian and have names like "Moses" but "Ndamukong" (like that NFL player) sounds nicer than "Dequavius" or some made up name.
Also white people for naming their kids dumb shit like "Jaxton" or "Carpenter" or pretentious shit like "Imogen", that's the white people version of ghetto names. I worked with a guy who named his daughter "Imogen" and got my hair cut by a woman who named her son "Zaxton". White moms can be just as "creative" as black moms in naming their kids random shit but don't get made fun of as much which is too bad.
Common in Japan, look at the names with spelled with the kanji for 1, 2, 3, etc. (like "Jiro", apparently China has a similar tradition). Black people can do it too where you have Trevious, Quadravious, Quintavious, Sextavious, Septavious, etc. But Romans did it best, since look at how all those Romans ended up known as. Nero Claudius Caesar Augustus Germanicus is commonly known as Nero for instance. Or Gaius Valerius Licinianus Licinius Augustus is just Licinius. A hypothetical "Quintus" would probably be known by some other name.
What if the NFL names only sound slightly preferable because the NFL is the only way people with these retarded names can get famous (aside from being born to celebrities)?
Well as I promised, I compiled a brand new list of dumb names from the file room. Maybe not the absolute dumbest names ever, but if you encountered them in the wild you'd probably go "Wow, that's a dumb name." I know I would anyways.
Neftaly - And we jump right back into the random sounds names. This one sounds like some Pharaoh's retarded cousin
Shyla
Dawna-Jo - Weird as fuck combination
Anakin - We got another movie name, folks! And yes, this kid was born after the prequels happened
Divine - Probably supposed to be religious instead of named after a famous drag queen, but it still sounds like a porn star/stripper name regardless
Cecil-Gene - Another weird as fuck combination
Peggy-Maria - And again. I don't know why they just don't make the second part the middle name instead of part of the first.
Im - Yes, this really is their legal name
Desaray - One of those unique spelling ones I can't tell if it's unique on purpose or the parents were illiterate. Maybe both
Tywyli - Just plain unfortunate. And has "ghetto" written all over it. Poor kid
Neihuas - What the fuck kind of name is this?
Krystle - Someone who didn't know how to spell "Crystal" I guess. Could be a stripper alongside poor Divine up there
Akira - The last name is not even remotely Japanese so they were either named after the filmmaker or the manga character, the latter being an unfortunate choice in my opinion
Clear-Blue - Again with these fucking blue sky names
Akeelah - May or may not be named after the wolf pack leader from The Jungle Book
Lessa - Another one of those ones where I'm not sure if they fucked up the spelling or not
Amberland - The fuck kind of name is that?
Codylee - Is stupid
Edwar - No, I didn't leave off the "d" at the end, the parents did
Australia - Countries and continents aren't fucking names for people
Talon - Has already been covered in this thread but I found one of my own so Talon gets a special shoutout
Ailyn - Is really fucking stupid and reminds me of a bad Scrabble hand more than a real name
Asianaze - The fuck kind of name is that?
Lake - That's not a name either
Zhataviyus - Is also unfortunate (and ghetto) like Tywyli. They're not related, though
Mystiquea - Really fucking stupid
Cloud - Unfortunately with all the sky related names I'm not sure if this one is named after the video game character or not
Dayequana - Along the same lines as Zhataviyus and Tywyli
Smellie - Is a last name rather than a first name, but is still extremely unfortunate
Gryphon - I anticipate potential future siblings to have names like Unicorn and Manticore
Peregrine - Probably named after the falcon
Zephran - Is bad but not the worst on this list
Alexzander - Yes, they really did spell it like this. Apparently they didn't know how to actually spell or pronounce Alexander
Narcedalia - The fuck kind of name is this?
Heavenly - Really fucking stupid. I hope the kid is a brat to spite the parents
Here are some glorious examples from my own personal experiences:
-I did actually know an Abcde in real life, once upon a time. She was only a few IQ points above being legally rėtarded, and she proudly planned on naming her future child "Abcde Jr." I pray to evey god in existence that she never breeds.
-Judaism exists in the ghetto too, apparently. I've seen Mexicans named Yerushalaim and Abiyah.
-A teacher friend of mine also shared some gems with me once: Braxtynn, Jayleen, Toleeka, Cerenity, and an actual La-ton (pronounced Ladashton). Part of me thinks he's making that last one up, but considering where he used to teach, I wouldn't doubt it.
This sounds apocryphal but it is actually someone I know in real life: a Negress named "Vagena" (so spelled; I have no idea how it was intended to be pronounced as she never spoke of it.) Poor girl. She covered her work ID with a piece of tape (but as I had to sign off on her hours and such there was no disguising it. Ordinarily, covering your ID was a big no-no at this work place, but everyone let her do it out of sympathy. Why she didn't change her name to "Virginia" or something at the very least I'm not sure. She was in her 30s.) On par with "Chlamydia" tbh.
It's worse in Japan because nonsensical names have even more nonsensical kanji attached because it makes the name unreadable.
So I'll share this name which just had me laughing maniacally: Emeraldas Nakata (age 57, unemployed, arrested for threatening to bomb a police station)
A friend once explained that the whole deal with American black names is that their ancestors were forced to give up their own names and adopt Euro-Christian names when they were brought over as slaves, so modern black families are trying to get away from that history... but none of them really know which country their ancestors actually came from so they just kind of piece together syllables that to make names that are distinctly not white.
I just shrugged and said okay because I'm not the one who has to put the name Toprameneesha on a resumé.
Here are some glorious examples from my own personal experiences:
-I did actually know an Abcde in real life, once upon a time. She was only a few IQ points above being legally rėtarded, and she proudly planned on naming her future child "Abcde Jr." I pray to evey god in existence that she never breeds.
-Judaism exists in the ghetto too, apparently. I've seen Mexicans named Yerushalaim and Abiyah.
-A teacher friend of mine also shared some gems with me once: Braxtynn, Jayleen, Toleeka, Cerenity, and an actual La-ton (pronounced Ladashton). Part of me thinks he's making that last one up, but considering where he used to teach, I wouldn't doubt it.
urban teachers deal with the best names.
Niggers can't be topped. There has to be a list somewhere.
Niggers
...
Rich Entitled shit-sters (e.g. Lambda Rising, Joaquin Phoenix, etc)
White Hippies (same as above, essentially)
Native Americans (no, its not part of your culture. You are NOT hunting buffalo)
...
Country Music performers/fans
Jesus Freaks
New Zealand has a to approve a babies name. It is based off this legislation from 1995. Seems the Registrar-General is responsible for approving names and since 2013 that falls to Jeff Montgomery. Somehow a girl was named 'Talula Does The Hula From Hawaii'. The court changed her name when she was 9. The judge said, "It makes a fool of the child and sets her up with a social disability and handicap, unnecessarily." The article also has some other hilarious examples that were approved.
Midnight Chardonnay
Number 16 Bus Shelter
Violence
I'd guess the first was what they were drinking and the time of conception, the second a location of conception, and the third being the type of sex they like. Seems like the process does not work very well if those names were approved but 'Fish and Chips' and 'Sex Fruit' were denied.
Found two lists from a New Zealand government website for rejected names. Having trouble trying find a list of rejected names by year. All the news websites fail to list any source for where they get their info. Most seem to track back to this CNN article or two press releases by the New Zealand Department of Internal Affairs.
CNN list of rejected names 2001-2013. Notable mentions: Anal, 4Real, and multiple different spellings of Justice. New Zealanders really seem to want to name their kid Justice. https://edition.cnn.com/2013/05/01/world/asia/new-zealand-stange-baby-names/index.html
1. Justice - 62
2. King - 31
3. Princess - 28
4. Prince - 27
5. Royal - 25
6. Duke - 10
7. Major - 9
8. Bishop - 9
9. Majesty - 7
10. J - 6
11. Lucifer - 6
12. Use of brackets around middle names - 4
13. Knight - 4
14. Lady - 3
15. Use of back slash between names - 8
16. Judge - 3
17. Royale - 2
18. Messiah - 2
19. T - 2
20. I - 2
21. Queen - 2
22. Sir - 2
23. III - 2
24. Jr - 2
25. E - 2
26. V - 2
27. Justus - 2
28. Master - 2
29. Constable - 1
30. Queen Victoria - 1
31. Regal - 1
32. Emperor - 1
33. Christ - 1
34. Juztice - 1
35. 3rd - 1
36. CJ - 1
37. G - 1
38. Roman Numerals III - 1
39. General - 1
40. Saint - 1
41. Lord - 1
42. . (period) - 1
43. 89 - 1
44. Eminence - 1
45. M - 1
46. VI - 1
47. Mafia No Fear - 1
48. 2nd - 1
49. Majesti - 1
50. Rogue - 1
51. 4real - 1
52. * (asterisk) - 1
53. 5th - 1
54. SP - 1
55. C - 1
56. Sargent - 1
57. Honour - 1
58. D - 1
59. Minister - 1
60. MJ - 1
61. Chief - 1
62. Mr - 1
63. V8 - 1
64. President - 1
65. MC - 1
66. Anal - 1
67. AJ - 1
68. Baron - 1
69. L B - 1
70. H-Q - 1
71. Queen V - 1
The more I search for 'rejected names YEAR' the more insane the names seem to get. this is becoming quite the rabbit hole.
New Jersey family names their three kids the following. This made headlines when a ShopRite refused to put little Hitler's name on a cake. Sometime later and without giving a reason the kids were taken by Family Services. No idea if they got the kids back but apparently both parents collected disability.
MentalFloss http://archive.ph/PQ46v had an interesting list of 35 banned names from various countries. The reasoning for banning the name is more interesting than the name in some cases.
Wonder if that would work in Turkey today?
Israel might have some thoughts on that.
Guess no gender neutral names in Italy. France has a similar rule.
Sonora, Mexico seems to have a more reactive system in place banning names after they happen. Notable mentions include Circumcision, Hitler, Escroto (Scrotum), and Christmas Day.
Aceituno
All Power
Anivdelarev
Aguinaldo
Batman
Benefecia
Burger King
Caraciola
Caralampio
Cheyenne
Christmas Day
Cacerolo
Cesárea
Circuncisión
Culebro
Delgadina
Diodoro
Email
Escroto
Espinacia
Facebook
Fulanito
Gordonia
Gorgonio
Harry Potter
Hermione
Hitler
Hurraca
Iluminada
Indio
James Bond
Lady Di
Marciana
Masiosare
Micheline
Patrocinio
Panuncio
Petronilo
Piritipio
Privado
Pocahontas
Procopio
Pomponio
Rambo
Robocop
Rocky
Rolling Stone
Terminator
Sonora querida
Sobeida
Telesforo
Tránsito
Tremebundo
Twitter
Usnavy
Virgen
Verulo
Yahoo
Zoila Rosa
In this case the last name was a normal, western European name, so unless this kid is adopted and they used the exact spelling that's not what happened here.
