Star Wars Griefing Thread (SPOILERS) - Safety off

[Peace and Harmony]

why don't you incels FUCK OFF and come to terms with the fact this is the GREATEST Star Wars movie ever made

 

[Ihavetinyweewee]

They should have let him go. His one true soulmate has been on the other side since TFA and everyone knows it.

I'm still worried they are saving him, the original droids and the falcon for a set of characters like a hundred years in the future.....

 

[XYZpdq]

So.....yall niggas know this movie got blown out the water critically, with audience, and maybe even commercially....by the fucking Dora the Explorer movie?

Dora's even got bigger tits.

prior to this Zardoz was strictly YTMND-tier meme fodder.

a thousand years ago "zOMG" filtered to "ZARDOZ SAYS " over on 4chan

I don't think The Holiday Special was nearly as damaging to the continuity. Not to mention we got "STIR, WHIP, STIR!"

The Holiday Special also had the Bea Arthur cantina scene, which is better written than anything in the new trilogy combined, and consists mainly of an old woman leading a march of drunken men wearing rubber masks and a giant rat in circles around a bar to music.

seriously Bea Arthur fucking BROUGHT IT for that scene

Trying to watch this, the one lady looks like The Rocketeer.

I wonder if that Rocketeer reboot got folded into this

 

[Vic Viper T301]

Ok I'm randomly skipping through this shitshow. Watch at 31:45ish. They're in this tunnel and they find a crashed speeder which they recognize as belonging to a Sith. How do they know? IT HAS A FUCKING SITH HOOD ORNAMENT. Speeders have hood ornaments in Star Wars and the Sith put a Nazi I mean Sith emblem on his hood because he is a bad guy.

 

[Ghostse]

Their market research is absolute garbage. Nobody wants to see James Bond as a black tranny. Nobody wants Femmebusters. Not even SJWs. This shit bombs.

Agreed. I am not saying twittter-class woke in anyway reflects reality,just that's where this shit is coming from.

The idea gained ground because ever since 2004 there was a tepid left-ward drift which got more concerted post 2008 and the coming of Chocolate Jesus. The burgeoning social media of the time demanded more diversity and businesses complied, and it didn't seem to disrupt sales because at the time none of the demands were too outlandish.
They mistook "Eh, whatever, who cares if Starbuck is a girl, the show is good" as acceptance of the woke narrative as real. You're seeing the results where they have pushed it too far, and Girlbusters was not the turning of the tide, but where you could see the tide was turning.

You can see this with Marvel/DC where the first issue of their latest woke disasterpiece sold pretty well, then immediately fell off once everyone bought their copy "The Un-tranny X-myn" for twitter asspats and then dropped it. They went woke to try to head off declining sales, and instead only made them fall faster.
They now are having trouble reconciling their publically stated dedication to woke with the fact that when a title gets back to basics and stops engaging in culture war against its established audience, sales improve (but never to pre-insulting the fans levels).

You can also see this with the utter clusterfuck that was the Gillette ads.
If you read between the lines on their reports, Gillette was having its marketshare eroded by players like Harry's and Dollar Shave Club, and those companies were attracting Millenials, which is the market segment slated to replace Gen X at the maximum arc of disposable income (I could (but won't) go into the stupidity of that assumption). Instead of looking and thinking "Hmm, when given a choice between paying $20 and $5 for replacement blades, they pick the $5 blades", they instead decided to try to appeal to millenial sensibilities, assuming their established customers would continue to be good little paypigs.
The result was instead of letting competitors nibble their lunch competitors were now able to take huge bites from Gillette's marketshare, and P&G wrote down the value of Gillette by 5 billion.

Anyway, this is laugh at starwars & starwars' abused wife fans, not autistic sperg on marketing, so anyone who wants more autism can start a convo or a thread and I'll vomit more words if they want.

rose was the SJW darling because frumpy, asian and "bullied off social media" (which was later pretty much confirmed fake, caps are somewhere in this thread).
when TROS' marketing started to rev up rose was nowhere to be seen or outright removed in later versions and replaced by klaud (iirc).
given klauds design, coming out of nowhere and basically replacing rose as a pointless side character (since she hardly moved merch), it triggered the woke brigade hard, complete with hashtag and everything. cue /tv/ doing what it does best and memeing it to high heavens.



whites males are basically the only ones you can use everywhere over world without triggering anyone (besides twittertards of course). I'd expect a company as big as disney to be remotely aware of this since this isn't anything new or complicated.

In India, the majority of the people speak Hindi. There is no population that natively speaks English.
The government is unable to get rid of English as an official language because there are a sizable minority of ethnic groups that speak non-Hindi languages, and they view any attempt to move the Country solely to Hindi as the Hindi majority attempting to enforce their rule (and they aren't wrong). So while no particularly likes English, there is no palatable replacement.

The same sort of situation exists in Kenya; English is the official language because if any ethnic group attempted to replace it, they would be blocked by the other ethnic groups. So English remains.

You can also see this in several cultures where a monarchy or theocracy was protected by a nobility who wanted to overthrow it, but no single noble could get enough support to take power in their own right.

So with ubiquitous hollywood white male. International audiences have accepted that's just the hollywood leading role, and any attempts to replace that with another ethnicity are met with resistance; If we're toppling white men, WE should be the ones in charge, not those other even worse foreigners.

Re: Klaud
I always liked the Zyklaud memes, even if there was zero truth to them.

 

[Shield Breaker]

Honestly, the reality is starting to sink that there's a new Star Wars movie that I don't want to even see in theaters and it's really depressing me.

I think back to how excited I was a kid, I feel robbed that I'll probably never get that same sense of excitement from a Star Wars movie again.

I consider the Disney Trilogy and Solo expensive fanfiction.

 

[Salubrious]

FINN: Rey, I have something super important to tell you, but I'll tell you later!!!

...later

POE: Hey Finn, what was that super important thing you wanted to tell Rey?
FINN: I'll tell her later, don't worry about it.

...later

...later

...later

THE END.

What the fuck even is this movie? How do you set up something like this, refer to it twice, and then forget about it?

I was surprised that they COMPLETELY dropped the Finn-Rose dynamic. Rose is barely in this movie. They teased Finn-Rey, but never delivered it. Hell, the only real chemistry was between Poe and Keri Russell's character.

I'm going to post the most positive review on this site probably: it was okay not great not terrible. Some people compared the plot to a 90s video game; I thought during the movie that it was like a low-tier James Bond movie where there is no real plot except for excuses to get characters to 10 different locations in succession.

Rey is a full Mary-Sue; that was a given.

The biggest problem with this movie is that none of it felt earned. They would have been better off getting rid of Palpatine and just letting Kylo Ren be the only major antagonist in the movie. But they have to do the "redemption arc" with him.

Honestly, the Last Jedi fucked up this trilogy so badly, that this was probably a C+ with all the new stuff they had to asspull to even have a plot at the end. The Last Jedi in some ways felt more like closure than this movie did.

 

[Graffiti canvas]

I wonder what being a long time Star Wars fan, someone who has been following the franchise for 20+ years, feels like at this very moment.

I'll let you know as soon as I'm done drowning my childhood in bleach

 

[Cat_Piss_and_Vinegar]

That's one hell of a lopsided chimney. Makes me want to MS paint something.

I did it.

Allow me to explain. The house in purple is the original 3 movies. Relatively solid, if at very least consistent and entertaining with it's lovely purple hue. A lovely seaside cottage.

The tan is sand representing the 3 prequels. It's rough, course, gets everywhere, and more importantly, is not a good foundation. It is not solid or good to build a house on. It will slip into the sea, and bring the house ever closer to sinking.

The red chimney represents the newest trilogy. As you can see, the builders simply hucked bricks onto the roof, rather than reinforce the house to keep it from sinking into the ocean, it's now made it awkward and unbalanced, and will surely drag it down.

Not pictured: Mandalorian stilt. Jury's still out until the season ends for now.

 

[Ghostse]

Meanwhile, at Disney.....

Well this certainly explains alot about the sequel trilogy

MadTV was inconsistent, but when they got a hit, they knocked it out of the fuckign park.

 

[Oaat]

Kylo doesn't look like Solo or the other Skywalkers because Han was obviously a cuckold. The real father was someone with a long, black hair.

 

[BipolarPon]

Chewbacca is a old dog that has lost all it's friends...

Weird how the Nu-trilogy and Nu-canon is somehow more racist to the aliens, than the OT PT, and the Old Eu. I thought woke wars was all about diversity.

Kylo doesn't look like Solo or the other Skywalkers because Han was obviously a cuckold. The real father was someone with a long, black hair.

So Solo got cucked? Wouldn't surprise me since WokeWars has treated Han like a joke, and he got the falcon stolen by a kid valet. No I'm not kidding about the last part...

Get cucked solo.

 

[Muttnik]

It was okay not great not terrible.

Just like the Chernobyl Disaster!

 

[AverageAnimeWatcher]

I consider the Disney Trilogy and Solo expensive fanfiction.

Honestly, George only needs to come forward and say "I don't consider this sequel trilogy canon" and Disney would lose all legitimacy.

I mean, sure George doesn't own Star Wars anymore, but there isn't a greater blow than to have the original creator to distance himself from it. Though given Lucas has Disney shares now, that doesn't seem likely.

One can dream.

 

[ln18]

Honestly, George only needs to come forward and say "I don't consider this sequel trilogy canon" and Disney would lose all legitimacy

I mean, sure George doesn't own Star Wars anymore, but there isn't a greater blow than to have the original creator to distance himself from it. Though given Lucas has Disney shares now, that doesn't seem likely.

One can dream.

That didn't stop him from calling them white slavers, after TFA came out.

 

[Adamska]

I need prayers, fellow Kiwis. I am going tonight, and I don't see Joel and the bots anywhere.

As I said many pages ago--but again since we have lots of new folks--I have rather a unique situation: in a masterstroke of manipulation, my 22-year old, who knew I did not want to see this film in theaters, pulled a fast one and ordered tickets for opening night, THEN turned around and made the tickets CHRISTMAS PRESENTS for me and my wife, and included the younger kids to make it "about family." Yep.

He's a full-on lover of TLJ and Ruin Johnson, and it's my secret hope that this shitshow will turn him around. But I'm not holding my breath. I will however be glad to report on the level of dumpsterfire. I can tell you that there are EMPTY SEATS still left at this 7:30 premiere, so that's something.

Yeah, force him using the same logic to watch or attend something something you know he will hate instead and then show him why what he did was a shit move by making it a family event like this pile of subhuman shit did.

Because this is fuck no you're not too old for a spankin' territory; go to your fucking room.

I hope you spoiled the whole thing since the rip and plot came out early too, to maximize the pain he must feel.

 

[Manwithn0n0men]

Is your SO schizophrenic or something? Outside of Portland/San Fran or some parts of NY, what audience would clap at that shit?

Red Letter Media Loves Rogue One!

http://www.redlettermedia.bandcamp.com/audio Mike, Jay, and Rich Evans watch Rouge One: A Make-Up Story - listen to their exciting commentary as they watch t...

www.youtube.com

 

[Inanimate Carbon Rod]

I wonder what being a long time Star Wars fan, someone who has been following the franchise for 20+ years, feels like at this very moment.

I've been a fan practically my whole life. One of those obsessed fans, to be honest. I grew up watching the OT on VHS, collected tons of the action figures, and saw the prequels in the theater. Revenge of the Sith was the first midnight premiere I ever went to and I was completely content knowing that it was the absolute final Star Wars movie.

When Disney announced the new trilogy, I was completely against it. I didn't mind the idea of spin-off movies, but I thought the main series had wrapped up nicely and they should just leave it alone. I kind of warmed up to the idea once I saw that the original cast was on board, and I liked The Force Awakens well enough, but after The Last Jedi I pretty much stopped caring.

Yeah, I was a little sad to see what had become of my favorite franchise at first, but I found that I'm still able to enjoy the first 6 movies and have just written off the entire Disney Trilogy as big-budget fan fiction.

Vader killed the Emperor and brought balance to the Force. End of story.

 

[linchan]

It has an 88 on rotten tomatoes for audiences. How many of them are doing it to spite critics I wonder?

 

[Adamska]

It has an 88 on rotten tomatoes for audiences. How many of them are doing it to spite critics I wonder?

It's more that the Rat realized that after controlling the critic score, people looked at the audience score more often since that was less rigged. It's just changing the tactic to try and fool people; they did this bullshit with Maleficent 2 as well after all.