Star Wars Griefing Thread (SPOILERS) - Safety off

[PoisonedBun]

Star Wars is like the Sonic the Hedgehog of the movie industry. Think about it:

-Property made decades ago where the originals are held in high regard
-Tons of extra characters made since then no one cares about
-Multiple attempts to reboot the franchise that were bad/rushed
-'SONIC THE HEDGEHOG/STAR WARS WAS NEVER GOOD'

 

[Doctor of Autism]

Star Wars is like the Sonic the Hedgehog of the movie industry. Think about it:

-Property made decades ago where the originals are held in high regard
-Tons of extra characters made since then no one cares about
-Multiple attempts to reboot the franchise that were bad/rushed
-'SONIC THE HEDGEHOG/STAR WARS WAS NEVER GOOD'

You forgot that both are autism magnets.

 

[Marco Fucko]

I stopped by a print shop where a friend works and had this canvas made.

Spoiler

 

[FlightOfTheBumbleBee]

I'll play your game. Give your reasons.

I almost like The Last Jedi because my idea for the sequels was that Luke turns to the dark side and then he gets killed. That didn't happen in The Last Jedi, but what did happen is almost ok. The movie is abysmal, but at this point I actually hate Star Wars, OT included, and I like to see the subversion. I never saw The Force Awakens, and I only saw 1 short clip of Rise Of Skywalker. But I like the subversion in The Last Jedi because Star Wars is banal and any subversion is a good thing..

George Lucas describes Star Wars as a soap opera. Soap operas are banal. The prequels are just a terrible soap opera and nothing more. At least The Last Jedi was a little anti social and that's almost interesting to me.

 

[Stasi]

I pretty much gave up on Star Wars after TLJ but after seeing all the recommendations for The Mandalorian in this thread I decided to check it out and binge watched it today.

I honestly really liked it, its a nice simple series. You have interesting characters, each episode is its own little story yet there is an overall arc and action is fun but not overwhelming. I can't remember who said it but someone in this thread compared it to Hercules and Xena and that was spot on. I got exactly the same vibes from Mandalorian - fun 90s TV action. Not perfect by any means but worth a watch, even if you don't give a shit a bout Star Wars.

After that last scene...I know exactly why they are after Baby Yoda

Spoiler: Spoiler

Gus Fring wants him for his space meth lab

 

[Trans Fat 41g]

Say what you will about whether or not Star Wars was any good, it's still one of the most important cinematic properties in the 20th century onward and as a person who believes that preserving history is essential to meaningful progress, basically killing off 50% of the series before it even reboots using Walmart knockoff Expanded Universe replacements is akin to burning media. Name one modern, well known show (good or bad) that hasn't referenced Star Wars and other space operas in some way. This shit show makes vicarious mockery of even other bad media.

 

[HumanHive]

I personally cannot wait for Baby Yoda to be ruined in some way currently unfathomable.

 

[Marco Fucko]

I personally cannot wait for Baby Yoda to be ruined in some way currently unfathomable.

Mando drops him off at a thinly veiled reference to the Catholic Church.

 

[Oaat]

You know what? Fuck RedLetterMedia and the Plinkett character.

They're dilettantes whose criticism of the prequels apply just as much, if not more so, to the Original Trilogy. All the while, they caked their "funny" reviews with a smug spicing of superficial film critiques and arbitrary criteria for what makes and doesn't make good stories. And the worst part is that every unoriginal critic parrots their reviews as if they're some sort of gospel.

But when the egg is on their face, they're quick to denounce or qualify their previous suggestions. "Oh," they say, "we never really thought Jar Jar was a perfect fit for Star Wars! Even though we said he was amazing for Star Trek!"

Thanks, RLM. You're part of the reason we're in the timeline where JJ ruined two classic Sci-fi films.

"Let's talk about the elephant in the room... that this is not my fault."

>JJ Abrams should direct Star Wars
>The story should be like the OT again, that was the only good thing in Star Wars
>Plank of wood protagonist for max relatability
>No politics, worldbuilding is too boring
>Lightsaber fights should be slow. Giant hollywood swings = realism.
>Practical effects even if it looks shit and you can't do really unique and alien locations

Oh God, Mike, what have you done?!!!!!

 

[Ihavetinyweewee]

Here's your answer, from Kathleen Kennedy herself:

There was crystal clear agenda pushing when it comes to Rey in all three movies.

So, I think Kennedy is a fuckwit, but people keep on throwing that picture around, without context...

Those shirts have nothing to do with Star Wars. It's not sponsered, created, or promoted by Lucasfilm...

It's a shitty Nike campaign promoting Air Force one shoes. That was their slogan...

What it does show is Kennedy's monumental lack of self-awareness. Not surprising considering her mismanagement of all these productions.

No, her stupid ideological bent has nothing to do with those shirts. It's putting talentless female executives in creative positions.

Until, of course, her bosses had to come in and roll some heads(Kiri Hart)

 

[HumanHive]

Mando drops him off at a thinly veiled reference to the Catholic Church.

My thought was an EU book or comic that has baby yoda during his teen years, where we find out he is gender fluid or goes all edgy dark side or whathaveyou. So many ways to ruin such a simple character, so little time...

 

[Saxxon]

According to the new IX dictionary and guide for the film, Disney will no longer be using BBY/ABY (Before and After Battle of Yavin) for the Star Wars calendar's dating system. Instead they'll be using BSI/ASI (Before and After Starkiller Incident) for all years in SW from now on... So currently it is now Year 1 ASI in Plan IX. Therefore Rey and her gang have officially replaced Luke and his friends in every conceivable way.

The same guide also tries to explain why the stupidly named "Holdo Maneuver" was only a 1 in a million thing and why nobody uses it. Suffice it to say, it sounds more bullshitty than the explanations surrounding Starkiller or Rey herself.

Not even the year system, they don't even let us have the year system, no, everything needs to reference the actions of THE jedi Rey.

“MUST MAKE MONOPOLY!”
View attachment 1065021

View attachment 1065022

I hope that this is made ironically and not in the sense of "OMG Disney please buy Sony so I can get muh spiderman!!!!!"

 

[Based Papa John]

Carrie Fisher would probably still be alive if not for these movies. I thought it was shameful they dragged out her bloated, lot lizard sounding ass in the first place.

I remember around 2014/15 or so hearing about Carrie Fisher going on a Disney-prescribed weight-loss program for TFA. It wouldn't surprise me if Disney did have a hand in rushing her to an early(ier) grave. The woman should have been left alone.

Edit and Addition: I find it ironic people call me optimistic for this. Its not optimism, its cold hard and frankly depressing realism. Its showing that I am in fact a Jew and just considering it purely from a perspective of greed and considering what I'd due, mixed with a fair bit of knowledge about business and economics, to determine what is the most likely course. My predictions, i'd argue, are highly likely to be true... though admittedly those predictions are based on the idea that Disney will act on its manifestly proven greed, and not some ideological underpinning. But as Iger's book demonstrates, he isn't an ideologue. he's just, like me, a Jew.

As a Star Wars fan (and, by extension, a Star Trek fan), I want to believe you. I really do. However, companies seem to have discarded any sense that, I don't know, their mission is to make a profit for stockholders. However, given how CBS and Alex Kurzman are barreling down the rails with another season of STD as well as the abomination of memberberries that will be Star Trek: Picard, I have no faith in the greed of executives anymore. You'd think that would be a constant.

Also, on Iger, I think he's getting out while the getting's good. He was responsible for Disney's rapid growth, with all the headaches that that has caused. Disney has made a number of insanely expensive purchases such as Marvel and Lucasfilm, and they're not seeing the ROI on Star Wars. That, and rumors of financial impropriety seems to be the reason why Disney is so eager to lie and inflate numbers in order to trick investors that everything's a-okay with the Rat. Disney is the bloated monstrosity that it is thanks to Iger. I'm guessing that he knows that reckoning is coming for the Rat, so he's retiring while he can. The disaster that was Eisner years will look like Disneyland compared to the fallout from the decisions made by Iger.

 

[Shroom King]

I pretty much gave up on Star Wars after TLJ but after seeing all the recommendations for The Mandalorian in this thread I decided to check it out and binge watched it today.

I honestly really liked it, its a nice simple series. You have interesting characters, each episode is its own little story yet there is an overall arc and action is fun but not overwhelming. I can't remember who said it but someone in this thread compared it to Hercules and Xena and that was spot on. I got exactly the same vibes from Mandalorian - fun 90s TV action. Not perfect by any means but worth a watch, even if you don't give a shit a bout Star Wars.

After that last scene...I know exactly why they are after Baby Yoda

Spoiler: Spoiler

Gus Fring wants him for his space meth lab

I can't believe the same company that made Soy Wars made the Big Bad of the Mandalorian

Spoiler

a black guy.

 

[Disc]

So, it looks like the opening is around 175-176 million? That's around a 20% decrease from TLJ.

I need some financial freaks to tell me if this is on track for a billion.

 

[Raging Capybara]

So, it looks like the opening is around 175-176 million? That's around a 20% decrease from TLJ.

I need some financial freaks to tell me if this is on track for a billion.

TLJ made roughly 1.3 billion, 20% less and you get 1 bi.

I think it's a lock that this film will cross the 9 digits.

 

[verissimus]

Only if he shouts "THE ARISTOCRATS!"

What is that a reference to?

@Disc TLJ did 1.3 billion right? Just subtract 20% from that.

 

[friedshrimp]

Where is my nostalgia critic review of this movie

 

[HumanHive]

What is that a reference to?

@Disc TLJ did 1.3 billion right? Just subtract 20% from that.

"The Aristocrats" is a dirty joke. A family walks in to a Hollywood agent, says they have a new act. They then proceed to do a bunch of disgusting things that you're supposed to improvise. Incest, shiteating, anything stomach turning. Stunned, the agent asks "what's the name of the act?"
"The Aristocrats"

 

[Marco Fucko]

What is that a reference to?

@Disc TLJ did 1.3 billion right? Just subtract 20% from that.

The Aristocrats is a joke wherein the teller thinks up the most fucked up profane shit imaginable as a story then shouts "THE ARISTOCRATS" at the end as the punchline, thereby parodying the decadence of the upper middle class.