FB 5/14- Chris and New Friends

[Funktional]

Even Chris can type "free business cards" into google right? ...Right?

 

[Commissar Kharn]

he may have paid and had them done professional

Funny, that didn't look like it was made of Lego.

 

[Chuggernaut]

Southerners do. It can be that bad. I was in Richmond, VA for awhile and it was surprisingly frequent. They also call the country the "union". When will those southerners learn?

Well, the ones that do leave sooooo...

 

[KatsuKitty]

Do lesbians actually do that tribe shit? It sounds like one big joke and a big pain in the pussy.

 

[Marvin]

Also let's be real. It's totally possible he gets banned. If he spends no money there and bothers paying customers they'll throw him out. It's not a given, but it's certainly in the realm of possibilities. They didn't kick him out of Game Place for being a creepy weirdo, they did it because he was disrupting their business and was annoying as shit.

That's my point though. He's less disruptive than a standard customer. And he spends money there. Chris is less annoying in a bar environment because of the atmosphere. The only bad personality traits of Chris that can filter through bar atmosphere is that he's boring. A typical guy in a bar is way more annoying and way more likely to be creepy.

I would say it's definitely out of the range of possibility that Chris gets banned from Impulse. It's silly to consider.

Do lesbians actually do that tribe shit? It sounds like one big joke and a big pain in the pussy.

I mean, I'm sure someone does it somewhere, but I'm under the impression that it's 90% a (straight) porn fantasy.

 

[BillRiley]

What could he possibly do?

List of Things Chris Could Do To Get Thrown Out

1 - Throw pokeballs at lipstick lesbians.
2 - Sing Christian & the Hedgehog Boys songs during Karoke night.
3 - Insist on monopolizing the tv so he can watch MLP marathons.
4 - Pitch autistic screaming hissy-fit after...
a: someone innocently snaps a picture of him.
b: bartender tells him two drink minimum isn't covered by Bud and water chaser.
c: is called "Sir" while in a bad mood.
5 - Bring Barb in to threaten manager.
6 - Continuously going into the storeroom and interrupting the craps game.

 

[Haesindang Park]

As always apologies for not including a picture. If anyone can get it it would be greatly appreciated. If it were anyone else I would assume he wants to ruin these friendships. As it is I just assume Chris is a dumb ass and move on.

EDIT- Screen cap added.

What about gays?

 

[BillRiley]

Do lesbians actually do that tribe shit?

No.

 

[RastaCat:3]

Oh, you know they will be.

Spoiler

This is his card? No Sonichu? How boring. If he were to give me that I would throw it away.

 

[WilhelmIIofPrussia]

Asking for massages, references to other free women, Facebook messages, texts and e-mails? He's really gotten out of the "treating people like slaves" phase hasn't he?

 

[RastaCat:3]

Who says "y'all" that much in a couple paragraphs?

Well in the south the word is common. I'm from louisisana and just moved to Oregon. Everytime I say it people give me a look or ask about it. It's just a southern thing.

 

[BillRiley]

He wants to "tribe" with lesbians, cuz he thinks thats what they like. He's offering a service he thinks they'll be likely to accept. That's what's behind that. He doesn't understand no one wants that from him.

Exactly. It's just another thing he picked up from "educational porn."

Also let's be real. It's totally possible he gets banned. If he spends no money there and bothers paying customers they'll throw him out. It's not a given, but it's certainly in the realm of possibilities. They didn't kick him out of Game Place for being a creepy weirdo, they did it because he was disrupting their business and was annoying as shit.

^This. It's a path as predictable as the moon's orbit. He gets comfortable in a place, the place becomes the focus of one (or more) of his batty crusades (china, blarms, etc), he starts disrupting the normal flow of business and keeps pushing and pushing until BAM! Out comes the banhammer.

 

[Cubanodun]

Do lesbians actually do that tribe shit? It sounds like one big joke and a big pain in the pussy.

if someone can fap to fictional and colorful little horses, everything is possible

 

[Axiom]

Surprised no one has pointed it out yet, but handing business cards out at bars isn't weird. It's just about twenty years out of date, like everything else he thinks about social interactions. In the days before smartphones (back when the glaciers began receding), you couldn't just say to some new person, 'Let me add you on Facebook!' or get their number right there because you have your phones on you. Lots of people had business cards before cell phones were common, to hand out not just for professional networking, but to have all their contact info handy for new acquaintances. (Your real 'player' types would sometimes even get special business cards made up for giving to people at bars that said stuff like George 'Rocket Crotch' McRandomdude, Superstud PhD instead of George McRandomdude, CPA.) It's just, no one does it anymore except people who are hopelessly behind the times.

Gay clubs are pretty painfully tolerant and are absolute meat markets as well, so he'd have to stand out pretty forcefully if he was gonna get banned. Most likely, he'll end up hanging around there being variously creepy/weird/inappropriate for a year or so, and then abandon the endeavour after no hot lesbians materialize on his taint for some tribble-scissors or whatever.

The most likely way he'd get kicked out is if he goes apeshit on some new acquaintance he thinks might be trolling him online. And he probably won't do that anyway.

 

[kobebyarlant]

It's startling to know this is common, I've never in my life heard someone say y'all unless they were pretending to be a Southerner. America is so strange.

Southerner here. "Y'all" is how you pretend to be a Texan. The only people I've known who say y'all that much are Texans. The area Chris is from uses "you all" or a slurred "youall" more often than straight "y'all". His use of it probably stems from his need to sound relaxed and cool. Like him hamfisting "da" in place of the in his comics.

Also, I wonder who he'll end up macing at Impulse.

 

[AnOminous]

There is a difference between fucking up friendships he might make through Impulse and fucking up Impulse itself. As @Marvin says, typical Chris behavior doesn't get you thrown out of a bar. It does lose you friends.

We don't really have a longitudinal study on what typical Chris behavior is in a bar. Bars throw people out all the time. They even hire people whose sole job it is to throw people out, or not let them in in the first place. Lots of times it's for making trouble, but it's just as often for not fitting in with the vibe of the place.

If he annoys management they'll just not let him in in the first place.

And it may be that just not spending money is annoying enough.

I don't really know. It may be that buying a burger or whatever every now and then is enough.

 

[Marvin]

We don't really have a longitudinal study on what typical Chris behavior is in a bar.

His typical behavior wouldn't get him kicked out of a bar. Let alone his more obnoxious behavior.

 

[AnOminous]

His typical behavior wouldn't get him kicked out of a bar. Let alone his more obnoxious behavior.

He has managed to get thrown out of literally every place he's spent any significant amount of time at in his entire life.

 

[The Lizard Queen]

I took one look at his post and thought to myself, "Hooray! Old Chris is back! No more of this depressed tomgirl nonsense. Onwards, to a glorious new age of attraction signs and giant suggestive straws!"

I can only hope I'm right.

 

[APerson]

He has managed to get thrown out of literally every place he's spent any significant amount of time at in his entire life.

McDonalds?