🐷 Ethan Oliver Ralph / TheRalphRetort / Rad Roberts / Jcaesar187 / Rage Pig / "Killstream" / "Tequila Sunrise" - 5'1'' fat alcoholic, owner of a gunt, convicted felon and revenge pornographer, property of the ugly failed tranny pornstar Lucas Roberts. Has quadruple titties.

[TherapyMan]

Just a heads up, seeing as you're even newer than I am: the "Matthew Vickers is creepy and not taking responsibility for fucking his daughter up" option isn't digested well in here.

This is only partially true. I think there's been a persistent undercurrent of criticism on Vickers that's been largely undiscussed because he's giving the Farms the bountiful corn on Ralph, the thread isn't about Mr. Vickers, and the fact he's one of less awful people involved in this clusterfuck.

 

[RalphsFailingKidneys]

I didn't think he could find a way to be a worse person, but once again Ralph finds a new low to sink to, impregnating his child bride because he's afraid of her (afraid she will leave?).

As usual, there is not a single pure motive behind Ralph's actions, he is either doing it to gain more control over Faith, not because he loves her as he claims, not even because he wants a kid, but because he is always desperate to be right, he does it out of spite, out of declaring 'I win' no matter how meaningless or how Pyrrhic the victory is, as long as he can feel he's right and he 'won' over the haydurs criticizing him, then he'll do it.

This is why people feel bad for Vickers and their entire family. He had his world suddenly turned upside suddenly by Ethan Ralph. I don't think most fathers expect that a morbidly obese alcoholic felon who hosts a podcast online is going to groom their daughters to run away, release porn online, and get pregnant.

In the end, it will be the Vickers family who is stuck with the kid, one Faith tires of Ralph he either dies or is accused of domestic abuse), she will dump the poor kid with them and run away to party because she can't cope with the reality of being a mother.

There is no way a kid would better either of these two individuals, one is still a child that hasn't finished developing and the other is a stunted man-child with severe addiction issues. The only thing a baby will do is introduce a great deal of stress (emotional, economic, etc.) into their relationship and accelerate the gunt's end. Still though, I feel bad for the innocent people who will be left to take care of the consequences of Ralph's actions, all because people laugh at him online.

Well @theralph I'm sure a baby will finally prove everyone wrong about you you piece of shit.

 

[BOLDYSPICY!]

He will name it after his father figure, dax.

You are all wrong. The spawn of the gunt will be Rad Roberts Ralph.

No, no, you're all wrong.

The baby will be named James Augustine in memoriam.

 

[All becomes gunt]

No, no, you're all wrong.

The baby will be named James Augustine in memoriam.

Paddy O' Furniture
James Augustine
Radical Roberto ( he will be the owner and editor in chief of theradretort.com )
Julius
Matthew

 

[Nigel of Ukip]

Just a heads up, seeing as you're even newer than I am: the "Matthew Vickers is creepy and not taking responsibility for fucking his daughter up" option isn't digested well in here.

Whether people like it or not, it is somewhat true.

Anyone that has kids, or younger family members likely cringes hard at what Matthew Vickers is doing. He literally made a website, tried to make merch, has avatars of himself, is leaking private texts and even tried doxing a likely fake Ralph to possibly get his child back. Bare in mind, all while also making her private life utter hell with his expose stories.

She is clearly unstable, and what he's doing isn't a good way of getting her back or helping her. He could've easily gotten Ethan's PO involved, but he had this whole utterly exceptional scheme where he would buy Ralph's house and mess with him.

I do feel bad for him, but not enough to lie to myself about his true character. Bare in mind while he's doing all this spergy shit, he has OTHER YOUNGER children sit by and watch.

I don't mind the downvotes, because I honestly do believe he is acting not on Faith's best interest, but his own.

 

[FM Bradley]

This is only partially true. I think there's been a persistent undercurrent of criticism on Vickers that's been largely undiscussed because he's giving the Farms the bountiful corn on Ralph, the thread isn't about Mr. Vickers, and the fact he's one of less awful people involved in this clusterfuck.

I see your point, accept it, and support it wholeheartedly.

I nonetheless think there's folks that can't handle the concept of Based Vickers having...gasp...made a mistake or two. Blind worship due to the amazing entertainment this situation has provided. This is as good a time as any to remind any such butthurt faggots that any dissenting opinions expressed by me are not a danger to the steady supply of corn and nectar so put a tampon in it and cope, I'm chowing down along with you or I wouldn't have registered here and been F5in'g this thread for fucksakes.

Also, blame my getting into Metokur three years ago. (Beyond being a strict 1A/2A guy, I've nothing in common with him or most of you, politically...he just makes me laugh.) Without him, I wouldn't know what a Reethan Relf or Kiwi Farms is. What a grand cornucopia of loolz he has spilled before me and may your Deity of Choice bless you all.

 

[Takayuki Yagami]

The son of an alcoholic and a manipulator both with mentally challenged brothers. This is just a remake of the Chris-Chan origin story.

With the possible exception of his maternal half-brother, Chris’s siblings are all contributing members of society. Even then, I’m not sure if the film critic thing is Cole’s day job.

 

[FM Bradley]

I do feel bad for him, but not enough to lie to myself about his true character. Bare in mind while he's doing all this spergy shit, he has OTHER YOUNGER children sit by and watch.

"Sorry, Daddy can't take you to Disneyland for the umpteenth time, kids, he's too busy obsessing over the inbred fat guy's cum sloshing around in your sister's box."

"But it's his DAUGHTER, CAN'T YOU UNDERSTAND HIS LITTLE GIRL IS BEING DEFILED? HOW WOULD YOU FEEL REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!" You stupid niggerfaggots, this (and the current state of the planet) is why I'm anti-natalist and have NEVER (except for once, unknowingly) let my demonic mongrel load coat the sugarwalls of any woman who wanted a child.

Child rearing isn't all glowyfeels like teaching them how to ride a bike, scribbled Crayon drawings on the fridge, straight-A report cards, your lawn being mowed for free, etc. It's a lot of pain. Deep, deep pain and financial stress.

And the possibility that the kid will grow up to have Ethan Ralph's thumb in her ass and jizz in her cunt.

 

[World Star]

Let's not even touch the possibility of the child being exceptional

Both of the parents are exceptional, even if by some mircale the child doesn't inherit any genetic defects from either of the two parents they'll grow up exceptional just by being raised by them.
Additionally Faith will almost certainly be drinking during the pregnancy so the child will have have Fetal alcohol syndrome.

 

[Paddy O' Furniture]

Paddy O' Furniture
James Augustine
Radical Roberto ( he will be the owner and editor in chief of theradretort.com )
Julius
Matthew

He can't use that first one or the Farms win.

 

[Crystal Golem]

Over my coffee this morning I remembered a post I made a while back about how ShoeOnHead was a horrific case of postpartum depression waiting to happen. Lets run down a list of risk factors for postpartum shall we?
-pre-existing mental illness
-isolation from family and support system
-body image/self-esteem issues
-younger women more prone

I believe first pregnancies also typically have a higher incidence of postpartum but I think that's just because people having their first child are typically less prepared. So Shoe fits these criteria and she practically looks like a functioning adult next to faith. @theralph if faith is pregnant you better be rubbing her feet while she eats gourmet trashburgers off your finest paper plate. This is not concern trolling gunt you do not want that shit keep her as happy and healthy as possible or you are walking into a nightmare. As an aside if Faith is pregnant she can no longer fly back to Cali and would have to bus it or be driven.

 

[Bryan Dunn]

@theralph will quite literally have his child as a Trophy all over his show. Itll be worse than what CRP did with his son. We will literally have any ounce of detail on that kids life because of him and itll be the new Onison shit where people will call DCF weekly on him for some new fucking thing he posts about to OwN dA hAtErZ gAtOr

I am absolutely horrified about all this only because Ralph KNOWS he should NEVER be in charge of a life.

 

[FM Bradley]

I am absolutely horrified about all this only because Ralph KNOWS he should NEVER be in charge of a life.

Does he, though?

Fat dipshit shouldn't be in charge of his own life.

 

[Bryan Dunn]

Does he, though?

Fat dipshit shouldn't be in charge of his own life.

He definitely knows he’s a complete monster of a human being.

 

[Gustav Schuchardt]

View attachment 1560336
View attachment 1560340

https://archive.vn/KAPqJ

Jesus fucking christ.

You know the more I think about this the cleverer it is

It's somewhere between a prophesy, a prediction and a curse. And the longer Ralph stays with Faith and the hormones wear off and her crazy comes out, the more it will be in the back of his mind that Faith has a history of accusing the men in her life of some sort of abuse or stalking. Vickers is trying to get Ralph to dump Faith so she comes home, and it might just work.

 

[Crystal Golem]

Does he, though?

Yeah I'm not convinced ralph even understands the gravity of this situation.

 

[Gustav Schuchardt]

He definitely knows he’s a complete monster of a human being.

He and Dick both think they're cutesy flawed but basically well-meaning protagonists like Bojack Horseman rather than monsters. All narcissists do.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/BoJack_Horseman#Cast_and_characters

Will Arnett as BoJack Horseman, a self-loathing alcoholic horse currently in his 50s, whose acting career peaked when he starred in a successful 1990s family sitcom called Horsin' Around. Though he began as a young bright-eyed actor, he has since grown bitter, deeply depressed, and jaded towards Hollywoo and who he has become post-fame. BoJack has been shown to be caring and insightful, but his insecurities, loneliness, desperate need for approval, and guilt over his own actions often result in self-destructive actions that devastate those around him.

It's not surprising that Dick loves the show and introduced it to Ralph, who loves it so much he illegally uses its theme tune for the Killstream. And the whole point of that show is that if Bojack could only learn to get over his self-loathing, learn to love himself, not be so guilt-ridden and drink a bit less everyone would get the benefit of his caring and insightful nature.

Now you and I can both say that's a very flattering way for both Dick and Ralph to view themselves.

E.g. let's go through that list

	Bojack	Dick	Ralph
Was 'bright-eyed' as a youngster
Caring
Insightful
Insecure
Lonely
Desperate for approval
Guilt over past actions
Self-destructive nature
Devastates those around him
Now bitter, depressed and cynical

However, I'm sure that is how they do view themselves. I bet even successful people in Hollywood think they're Bojack when really there more like Dick and Ralph.

 

[FM Bradley]

He definitely knows he’s a complete monster of a human being.

He revels in it while, paradoxically, not understanding it. Yet another reason why I'm transfixed by the situation.

Yeah I'm not convinced ralph even understands the gravity of this situation.

Do you think this will provoke another "Redemption Arc"-style talk from Gator (btw you're reading this Gator fuck you you gimp-ass chatbanning cocksucker) convincing him to consider birth control?

HAHA DISREGARD I SUCK COCKS GATOR WANTS TO BE THE GODFATHER OF AN INBRED BUTTBABY LOL

Him and Dick both think they're cutesy flawed but basically well-meaning protagonists like Bojack Horseman rather than monsters. All narcissists do.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/BoJack_Horseman#Cast_and_characters

Regarding my anti-natalist rant earlier, and what KoP said above:

While I hate nothing worse than a bad parent and do feel the world is overstuffed with humans, I acknowledge I am in fact projecting. I am aware I'm trash, unlike Ralph. I know I would be an awful parent. Nowhere near as awful as Ralph but nonetheless certain reflexive behaviors hard-coded into my DNA would damage said child. As such, condoms and tied-tube sex partners prevail.

During my two decades as a bad drunk, I was along the same lines: I too thought I was just a whimsical cartoon character entertaining everyone with my antics, when in reality I was defiling myself and setting myself up for a life of regrets.

Gator, read this to Ralph, you sycophantic shitdick: once you quit drinking (or just tone it down to a few Budweisers with your high school buddies once every few months), you will be smacked in the face with all your misdoings, but trust me, it gets easier once you realize you now have a 90% chance of not repeating said mistakes. Or don't. Either he quits fucking up other peoples lives, or he continues to for our entertainment. Win-win.

 

[Perspicacity]

Whether people like it or not, it is somewhat true.

Anyone that has kids, or younger family members likely cringes hard at what Matthew Vickers is doing. He literally made a website, tried to make merch, has avatars of himself, is leaking private texts and even tried doxing a likely fake Ralph to possibly get his child back. Bare in mind, all while also making her private life utter hell with his expose stories.

She is clearly unstable, and what he's doing isn't a good way of getting her back or helping her. He could've easily gotten Ethan's PO involved, but he had this whole utterly exceptional scheme where he would buy Ralph's house and mess with him.

I do feel bad for him, but not enough to lie to myself about his true character. Bare in mind while he's doing all this spergy shit, he has OTHER YOUNGER children sit by and watch.

I don't mind the downvotes, because I honestly do believe he is acting not on Faith's best interest, but his own.

Honestly I was with you until this whole getting Faith pregnant thing was confirmed. Imagine your 18 year old daughter runs off in the middle of the night and moves in with a pill popping, alcoholic, to bumfuck redneck country (Vickers is from CA). You find out that not only is your daughter severely mentally ill and a pathological liar (who also had a sex tape released to the internet) but is actively trying to get pregnant. Pregnant with a child that the Vickers will likely have to raise. I would do anything to prevent that from happening, I can no longer say his methods are too extreme or harmful (well at least as far as the stuff he's done so far). Mind you both of them are clearly using heavy drugs, mentally unstable, and have no reliable form of income. I wouldn't hedge my bets on them cleaning up their act to take care of a baby. What kind of life would this child even have? Growing up in the crack shack with two mentally ill addicts with no money or future? That's the real black pill here.

 

[Gustav Schuchardt]

If Faith gets pregnant it's all over. Not just for Faith, Ralph, and the Gunt that Will Blot Out The Sun the kid but for the whole world. I'm talking human sacrifice, dogs and cats living together ... mass hysteria!