Careercow Robert Chipman / Bob / Moviebob / "Movieblob" - Middle-Aged Consoomer, CWC with a Thesaurus, Ardent Male Feminist and Superior Futurist, the Twice-Fired, the Mario-Worshipper, publicly dismantled by Hot Dog Girl, now a diabetic

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How will Bob react to seeing the Mario film?


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Because it is already common knowledge.
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This is kinda creepy. This looks like some half-assed shrine made by a cargo cult worshiping a Coke bottle.

People are keen to point out how Bobby loves to shit on successful conservative women:
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"person"
Even when trying to defend himself against accusations of being an angry incel toward women who reject his sexual advances who disagree with him politically Bob can't help but still dehumanize her. He's so angry and so arrogant he doesn't realize how he proves his critics right every single time.

Bobby gets excited by a robot dog:
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... an enthusiasm that not even his engineer bro shares:
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If only Chris gave Bob a reality check about the engineering business!
I don't know whats sadder a fat diabetic YouTuber jumping for joy over a robot dog while his brother who actually has a masters in engineering looks at it with caution or said brother who has seemingly abandoned whatever career he had to follow in his dim-witted brothers footsteps of making an ass of himself on the Internet for strangers pocket change.
bob is the hill
He's not a hill hes a mountain.

The Mountain that Waddles on One Foot
 
Jesus fuckin' Christ! How out of touch does Bob have to be believe that the MCU is the ONLY escapism available to the working class. There's Netflix, Disney+. HBOMax, and myriad streaming services that offer an entire library of shows people can watch at their leisure. Most of it may be old content, but who knows, there might be some hidden gem they missed or an old series that they never got to watch.
Hell, I literally only heard of The Boys this week and because of this thread, so I have a whole season of capeshit to watch if I want to. And apparently I might like it more since I found most of the MCU movies on the ok to terrible end of the scale for me,
 
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So to sum up this wall of crazy succinctly; Blobbo is mad and upset that there were no new marvel films in 2020, desperately tries to conceal this being the main source of his upset by using lots of big words he doesn't understand, gets a tiny erection poking through his gunt whenever he thinks of Freddy Kruger murdering children because he likes to imagine they were raped first, and also thinks he will live longer because he's fat because some news article reported something that he obviously misinterpreted.
No, he gets the erection when he imagines the Gingerbread Witch taking his virginity as a child, before letting him eat all the candy he wants for the rest of his life. Which won't be very long, but will be better, because it has both candy and sex. Also, the Gingerbread Witch is a six foot muscular bisexual Asian amazon, because mumble mumble reasons.

"The Gingerbread Witch is a child molester", what the fuck.
 
Because it is already common knowledge.
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This is one of my favorite Bob tweets just because it shows how he thinks other people think. He really believes that people will be in awe that his living room contains some cheap bookcases, cartoon posters and some children's toys.

Plus video games that are lying around not hooked up to a television.
 
This is one of my favorite Bob tweets just because it shows how he thinks other people think. He really believes that people will be in awe that his living room contains some cheap bookcases, cartoon posters and some children's toys.

Plus video games that are lying around not hooked up to a television.
It looks too eerily similar to Chris-Chan's room for my comfort.
 
I think you've got it compared to say.....Clawshrimpy or russell greer he isnt that bad. He also doesnt have much in the way of dirty laundry and despite everything he functions at a basic level. A quick scan of the front page reveals far worse than Bpb. He just produces enough stupid hateful shit that he's perpetully in the farms news cycle.
I also think he's just normal enough that you can genuinly hate him on a personal level. With say clawshrimpy he's so beneath you it's hard to generate anything beyond contempt or tooter whose so batshit insane it's hard to generate any personal feelings. Wereas Bob is close enough to normal people that you have a framework were you can loathe him on a relatable level.
Kind of like how I hate my old neighbor for being a drug addled fuck up more than Hitler.
Also he opines on every topic under the sun, being just smart enough to think he knows it all. Some (i.e. me) probably read this thread just to see people explain why he's full of shit on X, Y, & Z, giving a little lesson on how those things actually work in the process. It's a like a crowdsourced version of "Why Do People Laugh and Creationists" except aimed at the kind of smug reverse-Pol-Pot idiocy that we sometimes suspect runs the Western world, but rarely see articulated so bluntly.
 
So is the no MCU movies thing a more significant deal/historic event/a society changer than Gamergate ever was or less?

We need Bob to clarify.
Yes.

Gamergate was a small blip on the radar on the journey to the superior future. A bunch of Dudebros raging on the Internet against a bunch of innocent, totally naturally born, women who won out in the end even if they got dumped by all the gaming sites and their personal endeavors all fell flat on their faces. The fact that all the prominent Anti-Gamergate players all faded into irrelevance and lost their businesses doesn't matter because they stood up against the uneducated masses and haughtily told them they were wrong and Gamers are Dead. Oh and Bob briefly lost his job due to his inability to stop sperging on Twitter but whatever that's no big deal to Bob.

But the fact that one year there will be no MCU films available to view in theaters is a travesty on par with the Boston Massacre, Pearl Harbor, Kennedys assassination, Vietnam or even 9/11 itself. Now ordinary working class people who are doomed to irrelevancy won't get to watch an alcoholic billionaire in a flying suit of armor, a King of a technologically advanced African nation, or the God of thunder himself beat-up CGI mooks onscreen while an actor with actual talent hams it up as Evil VonBadguy in the background. Due to the loss of these movies these working class people who will be replaced with automation or low paid immigrant workers will lose all hope in the coming months because they have lost a corporate approved hero to consoome will fall into despair. No other entertainment involving working-class heroes exists and things such as hobbies, social gatherings, work, and families do not exist. Children will grow up broken individuals not because they spent a year or two isolated from their peers and never developed social skills but because for one year they had to play with their Avengers Action Figures instead of watching them on the big screen.

At the end of the day even though the MCU has concluded its main storyline the fact people can't watch any films under its banner this year is a tragedy. My Dad watching footage of Kennedy getting capped and Cronkite taking off his glasses to announce the President was dead, my Mom watching footage of the Vietnam War at Dinnertime on the TV, and me and my sister watching our cartoon shows being replaced by footage of airplanes crashing into buildings we had visited before, piloted by madmen who wanted to kill us just because of where we were born was nothing compared to Disney not being able to release its moneymaking Blockbusters and give its executives enough money to buy another ivory backscratcher.

Bob knows what is a true tragedy for ordinary Americans
 
Check how bob speaks. Every video it seems like Blob is FAKING a boston accent, or at least "amplifying it" . Check his videos where he's actually speaking and on camera, horrifying as that is to look at. You'll notice his speech patterns change immensely when he realizes he's not speaking with a thick boston accent any more. The "Normal" bob voice sounds like something with a northern tinge but not necessarily "bostonian". Why would he fake an accent?
 
Bob thinks fictional capeshitters are more heroic then Doctors, Nurses, Paramedics and the Hospital staff who work hard saving lives and risk getting by infected by COVID. "There are no heroes this year." Seriously Bob? All because you couldn't consume your soulless Disney schlock?

You couldn't have made a more dumb and insensitive statement right now.
 
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Batman is dumb and silly, unlike Black Panther and Captain Marvel.
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Imagine calling yourself a 'pop-culture critic' and being so wrong about Batman of all things. The guy who was originally inspired by pulp fiction like The Shadow and Zorro was from inception 'silly and goofy'? Okay Bob. Sure he was pretty goofy in the Silver Age but so was everyone else. Literally all he has to do is google the best selling Batman comics and guess what? Its not shlocky 70's Batman, its Year One, Arkham Asylum: ASHOSE and Scott 'so edgy it cuts' Snyder's Death of the family.
I'm honestly not even sure where this fixation with goofy Batman even comes from since he wouldn't have been born when that that stuff was selling.

Bluebeard and Hansel and Gretel are about rape:
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I mean if Bluebeard was a metaphor for rape wouldn't the guy just rape his wife? It's a fairly graphic story so I'm not sure why anyone would leave out the rapey parts but keep the the dead wives hanging on hooks. Its about deadly curiosity if anything.
And how is Dracula about rape? Was Jonathan worried that the count was going to rape him? Have we all been blind to the fact that Dracula was actually a gay rape fantasy the whole time?
 
Hello Mario my old friend....
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"The 20 inch Mario statue suits my decor."

:story:

Never has a more neckbeard consoomer sentence been uttered.

Also, what happened to keeping his vile political rants and calls for violence off his """professional""" account? That didn't last long.
 
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Check how bob speaks. Every video it seems like Blob is FAKING a boston accent, or at least "amplifying it" . Check his videos where he's actually speaking and on camera, horrifying as that is to look at. You'll notice his speech patterns change immensely when he realizes he's not speaking with a thick boston accent any more. The "Normal" bob voice sounds like something with a northern tinge but not necessarily "bostonian". Why would he fake an accent?

For the same reason models use photoshop and bodybuilders use steroids.
 
And how is Dracula about rape? Was Jonathan worried that the count was going to rape him? Have we all been blind to the fact that Dracula was actually a gay rape fantasy the whole time?

There's always been sexual undertones to vampires, but it's more of a virgin thing than a child thing. Literary criticism has long asserted that preying on virgins, feeding on them and turning them into vampires themselves is alluding to sexual corruption and young women being wanton with their desires. Of course, this was 1897, so women being sexual means something different than it does today.

I don't remember anything about Dracula explicitly going after children. Lucy is 19, so not a child. He stalks her and there's sleepwalking/mind control, so you could probably make some kind of date rape analogy there if you wanted. There are reports of Lucy herself targeting children after she's been turned, but I'd be hesitant to suggest that Stroker was trying to allude to Lucy being a child rapist.

Of course, this is Bob, so he probably never read the novel and is thinking of Count Chocula.
 
There's always been sexual undertones to vampires, but it's more of a virgin thing than a child thing. Literary criticism has long asserted that preying on virgins, feeding on them and turning them into vampires themselves is alluding to sexual corruption and young women being wanton with their desires. Of course, this was 1897, so women being sexual means something different than it does today.

I don't remember anything about Dracula explicitly going after children. Lucy is 19, so not a child. He stalks her and there's sleepwalking/mind control, so you could probably make some kind of date rape analogy there if you wanted. There are reports of Lucy herself targeting children after she's been turned, but I'd be hesitant to suggest that Stroker was trying to allude to Lucy being a child rapist.

Of course, this is Bob, so he probably never read the novel and is thinking of Count Chocula.

Dracula makes Mina drink his blood. A forced exchange of bodily fluids is as close as you can get to writing about rape in 1897 while being published by a respectable company and not a pornographer. He presumably did the same to Lucy to turn her into a vampire, since Mina is 'corrupted' after it happens.

Lucy is 19, but unmarried, so by the standards of the era and her class, she's still at least half-child. I think her targeting children isn't sexual, but rather that's she's trying to get a children of her own now that's she's unable to become a respectable mother because she's both dead and essentially a rape victim. Her going after children also reinforces her own childlike status, since even after she's been corrupted, she's unable to go after adult men.
 
I mean if Bluebeard was a metaphor for rape wouldn't the guy just rape his wife
Bluebeard married all those women; if he had sex with them it is by definition not rape. Maritial rape is a 20th century invention.

If you're desperate for a thesis idea you might claim the Bluebeard story is a metaphor of female to male rape, the seventh wife violating the boundary.
 
Dracula makes Mina drink his blood. A forced exchange of bodily fluids is as close as you can get to writing about rape in 1897 while being published by a respectable company and not a pornographer. He presumably did the same to Lucy to turn her into a vampire, since Mina is 'corrupted' after it happens.

Lucy is 19, but unmarried, so by the standards of the era and her class, she's still at least half-child. I think her targeting children isn't sexual, but rather that's she's trying to get a children of her own now that's she's unable to become a respectable mother because she's both dead and essentially a rape victim. Her going after children also reinforces her own childlike status, since even after she's been corrupted, she's unable to go after adult men.

There's no indication how Lucy's transformation really got started. It might have been forced, it might have been a full on seduction the way Coppola depicts it. Given how Harker was nearly turned in Transylvania and the fact that Lucy was completely unsuspecting where Mina knew the Count was on the loose, I always felt the latter interpretation was closer to the truth. Half-child or not, Lucy was being actively courted by several men, so it always felt like that one last fling that went terribly awry. I think your interpretation of her behavior with the children, though, is spot-on. Vampiric behavior is generally an evil parody of human behavior, and a woman sucking essential fluid from a child for her own sustenance fits perfectly. Either way, Dracula makes more sense as a warning against the sexual allure of swarthy foreigners than it is a generic rape scare story. You'd think Bob would latch on to that, but we all know he's never going to read a 19th century epistolary novel.

Of the four stories he mentioned, only Little Red Riding Hood makes any kind of sense as a rape / molestation warning, and even that is more widely read as an admonition of girls to be watchful of their sexuality as it develops. Frankly, "avoid fat neckbeards who defend Cuties" is a more effective warning against possible molestors.
 
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