Horrorcow Lucas Werner - A man of Spokane, Washington who is obsessed with millennial and Gen Z chicks

[WonderWino]

He's descended from a long line of European kings. So it's clearly the royal 'we.'

He's totally not schizophrenic at all - the voices in his head are just the borg. It explains alot about referring to himself as we

.....Either that or lucas is one of the scorched

Story time.

A sweet voice can be heard through the intercom speaker. 'Paging Dr. Nigæ, Dr. Nigæ we need you in the operating theater.'
Lucas confidentially strides toward the operating theater. This is it Dr. Nigæ will finally be able to show his genius to all his peers. He's nervous as he scrubs his hands, the water going down the drain takes on a yellow brown hugh for a few moments then finally runs clear. A hot zoomer nurse has entered the area to assist Dr. Nigæ with his gloves and mask. She's very attractive, but Dr. Nigæ is a professional and only eye rapes her for a moment before he triumphantly says, "ok, I'm ready to save the human race from telomere attrition."
Dr. Nigæ and Nurse Bae enter the theater. The observation area is packed. Dr. Nigæ's mom & stepdad, king roy, brother Seth, his hot niece, kiki & ella, all the kids from grade school that mocked him and called him faggot. He'll show them all, he'll have the last laugh now, he's a brilliant genetic researcher after all.
Dr. Nigæ's eyes move to the empty operating table in the middle of the theater. "So were is my patient?" He hears someone laughing in the observation area but before he can look to see who a trio of huge male nurses appear. Dr. Nigæ's eyes dart nervously around the room, were is his patient? Another laugh from above catches Dr Retards attention, he doesn't notice the trio is closing in on him until it's too late. A shreik is heard as the first nurse makes contact, it's loud, shrill, and more animal than human. "Get off me faggot, Trump supporter, fuck the thin blue line!!!!" The trio (all ex military) subdued Dr. Retard easily. And through his shreiks and flailing secure him to the operating table.
"You can't do this I'm a brilliant genetic researcher! Reee! Reeee!"
Nurse Bae simply ignores his protests and goes about her business. After the IV has been placed, she leans down and gently touches his shoulder, "it will all be over soon lucas."

*fade to black*

Lucas scampers happily into the TV room. He notices a rerun of the simpsons is on and claps his hands in excitement as nurse Bae steers him toward his favorite seat. Once settled nurse Bae gives lucas a box of raisinets. Delighted with his treat and show lucas sways happily in his chair.
The operation could not have been more successful, lucas is no longer a treat to anyone, he's actually happy for the first time in a long time.
Lucas swaying gleefully in his chair looks toward nurse Bae, he laughs and smiles. Nurse Bae laughs and smiles. The couch cushion laughs and smiles. Lucas claps his hands. So happy.

Sorry, this is what covid isolation has reduced me to. I am ashamed.

When I read that it reminded me of that scene at the end of from hell where jack the ripper goes mental while he's butchering his last victim and has a full on delusion that he is doing a surgical lecture during a body dissection in front of all his peers and students.....before they haul him off to the mental hospital and lobotomize him

Somehow that seems eerily appropriate

 

[Fanatical Pragmatist]

He's descended from a long line of European kings. So it's clearly the royal 'we.'

Mixed-Race European Kings*

 

[wenttobermuda]

If I'm remembering right, when the Creep lived in Olympia he was banned from the Evergreen college campus. The students were instructed if they saw him on campus to call the police.

I've heard this, but I'm not confident in it's accuracy. His exploits as the the OlympiaAtheist/Greener Atheist/BrokeAtheist, are poorly documented compared to his Spokane misadventures.

So I've been looking into the idea that Lucas is bipolar, specifically bipolar 1, and educating myself; I read some & watched some videos about the difference between schizophrenia and bipolar disorder.....
Even though the thoughts persisted, she was able to tap them down with the rational idea that she knew she had done nothing wrong, and that it would be unlikely for a billboard to be targeting one person.

I have never, in all my time watching Lucas, ever heard Lucas acknowledged that his disordered thinking is in fact disordered...

It is obvious to everyone, except maybe Lucas, that his thoughts are disordered. Whether or not Lucas knows, deep down inside, that he is not well is one of the great unresolved questions of Wernology. But ultimately, Lucas is too much of a childish asshole to take responsibility for his health.

And he's plenty good. To admit otherwise would destroy him. And so any problem that he has is someone else's fault.

He's got lots of problems.

It's been speculated that at some point, he chose to be The Wern instead of Lucas Colby Werner. His delusions are more comfortable, and more interesting, than the life he made for himself. Better to be a noble crusader against the forces of agephobia, classism and greed than a broken baby who's too old for his mother's tit.

He's descended from a long line of European kings. So it's clearly the royal 'we.'

No. He's got a turd in his pocket. That's all.

 

[Krathnami]

I've heard this, but I'm not confident in it's accuracy. His exploits as the the OlympiaAtheist/Greener Atheist/BrokeAtheist, are poorly documented compared to his Spokane misadventures.



It is obvious to everyone, except maybe Lucas, that his thoughts are disordered. Whether or not Lucas knows, deep down inside, that he is not well is one of the great unresolved questions of Wernology. But ultimately, Lucas is too much of a childish asshole to take responsibility for his health.

And he's plenty good. To admit otherwise would destroy him. And so any problem that he has is someone else's fault.

He's got lots of problems.

It's been speculated that at some point, he chose to be The Wern instead of Lucas Colby Werner. His delusions are more comfortable, and more interesting, than the life he made for himself. Better to be a noble crusader against the forces of agephobia, classism and greed than a broken baby who's too old for his mother's tit.


No. He's got a turd in his pocket. That's all.

That a fascinating suggestion, that he has created this entirely separate identity as The Wern that he can project his aspirations and desires onto. The Wern is his idealized self, because being Lucas Colby Werner is too painful. This would furthermore suggest that he has the baseline self awareness that he (LCH) is not plenty good, but The Wern is.

 

[CansOfCant]

Mixed-Race European Kings*

Mixed-Race Sub-Arctic. MRSA King, if you will.

 

[WonderWino]

That a fascinating suggestion, that he has created this entirely separate identity as The Wern that he can project his aspirations and desires onto. The Wern is his idealized self, because being Lucas Colby Werner is too painful. This would furthermore suggest that he has the baseline self awareness that he (LCH) is not plenty good, but The Wern is.

and thus darth wern was born

I mean really, there are some fascinating sith parallels going on there when you think about it. Not to mention if I didn't know better I might think lucas feeds on hate, fear and anger

Plus the whole being cast out of the jedi greybeard order to form his own philosophy and become the first sith wern acolyte

So, how long will it be before the wern goes full vitiate and creates a ritual to strip the strong telomeres and vitality rich telomerase from every fecund zoomer bae in spokane to cure himself of his schizophrenia, empower himself to sire a dynasty and grant himself the power to finally depose king roy once and for all. He would truly become the emperor of incels

 

[Goldaor]

Since he's silent at the moment, here's some nonsense he sent to the Spokane girl:

 

[WonderWino]

Since he's silent at the moment, here's some nonsense he sent to the Spokane girl:
View attachment 1769203

It speaks volumes as to lucas's stupidity and lack of creativity that a large portion of his crackpot alphabet consists of the same symbol rearranged in a different direction or with a very minor alteration

That would be confusing as fuck to actually implement into a game, and I very much doubt that he himself could keep them straight without constantly referencing that sheet. and even then I bet it confuses him

Also, holy fuck he actually put the word sith in there. If he tries selling any product with that term in it disney is going to ream his ass with lawyers. They jump on the tiniest copyright violations for stuff like that like rabid weasels

 

[Fecunt]

Is he just a shitty zodiac killer?

 

[dingobaby]

Bipolar personality disorder is just that. A personality disorder. Cluster B disorders; bipolar, narcissistic, etc, stem from childhood and stay relatively consistent, as is the core of personality. Bipolar 1 often have delusions as said, so I wouldn't be surprised if they slapped that label on him during his stay. Lucas's history of focused blubbery is consistent to a tee, we all know what he is thinking, how he will behave. However he has no contrast, at least as I've seen, to give a baseline of swinging of mania to abject depression. The chimp outs are great, but they seem a reaction to external circumstance. I believe there are persistent personality issues at hand, though I would absolutely believe he has some schizo spectrum overlays.

tldr: two cents, bolth

 

[Gas Station Boner Pills]

I'Ll sToP sAyInG nIgGa wHeN yOu PiTy FuCk mE ☹

 

[GleamingTheQ-Bert]

Since he's silent at the moment, here's some nonsense he sent to the Spokane girl:
View attachment 1769203

Okay, look at the symbols for a and b. The B symbol is less complicated than the a symbol. They're similar but the B symbol has less vertical lines. How does that make any sense in any logical Universe anywhere?

 

[AbraCadaver]

Is he just a shitty zodiac killer?

The Zodiac Botherer

 

[Fanatical Pragmatist]

Since he's silent at the moment, here's some nonsense he sent to the Spokane girl:
View attachment 1769203

Also, holy fuck he actually put the word sith in there. If he tries selling any product with that term in it disney is going to ream his ass with lawyers. They jump on the tiniest copyright violations for stuff like that like rabid weasels

I'm just amazed at the depth of thought behind "This = Sith" in Wernspeak.
Fucking galaxy-brain new language! Woe to the human race, for we may never again see such a versatile genius as Lucas Werner crafting his new language by... saying English words backwards.

 

[Da Dude123]

This "nigga" shit that Lucas is trying may be his dumbest idea yet. He thinks the baes will get so sick of him using that language that they will break down and go out to Clinkerdaggers with him? Well, he couldn't be more wrong. People are laughing at the 41 year old hobo who is making an even bigger fool of himself. In fact, his nigga posts got more likes than anything else. What would Kiki and ACAB think of this?

He better watch it. Woko Haram and the cancel culture bunch will get to him and further sabotage any attempts at housing or school employment. He is just getting worse. Him doing this is pure exceptionalism.

 

[Club Sandwich]

Woko Haram and the cancel culture bunch will get to him and further sabotage any attempts at housing or school employment.

cancel culture, nothing. i've dealt with the aftermath of someone saying nigga or nigger near the wrong people and getting beaten or stabbed for their trouble. it's one thing to be offensive among your friends or whatever. it's quite another to do so among strangers.

i encourage Lucas to continue his experiment. my hypothesis is that he will push his zoomer bae targets further away and possibly catch a beat down, causing another mental breakdown as he tries to figure out just where he went wrong with his new attraction strategy.

 

[mothman96]

And he keeps going and going at proving how insane and despicable he is.

ETA:
The comments:

 

[King Daddy Telomerase]

cancel culture, nothing. i've dealt with the aftermath of someone saying nigga or nigger near the wrong people and getting beaten or stabbed for their trouble. it's one thing to be offensive among your friends or whatever. it's quite another to do so among strangers.

If you have nothing to lose like Lucas, it could work out as 4D chess. The mentally ill hobo getting beat up for incoherently screaming nigga can sue and will probably win. At least Lucas would chill in a hospital on our dime instead of struggling in the freezing cold night after night. Whatever, this still makes more sense than thinking he'll get a zoomer bae to fuck him via annoying them with his potty language.

 

[IceQueen]

He just posted that he found a place to live. I wonder if they’re giving him another apartment or if this is just another catfish/uncertain encounter he had that he’s assuming will go through lmao.

 

[teleméres69]

Probably another pioneer. Shanme the fat cunt won't spend Christmas where he deserves, but let's see how long it takes for the creep to get evicted this time. Least he'll still spend Christmas alone reeeing into his phone

He just posted that he found a place to live. I wonder if they’re giving him another apartment or if this is just another catfish/uncertain encounter he had that he’s assuming will go through lmao.