Horrorcow Lucas Werner - A man of Spokane, Washington who is obsessed with millennial and Gen Z chicks

[ThomasAudley]

So at 4 am Lucas’ entire house of degenerates is awake and he’s posting vids about his game. Movement is based on a “short writing assignment” where you construct a sentence of assigned number of words and make an attack pattern based on the last letters of each word. Regular people will just think before they speak, something Lucas is incapable of, and get the exact move they need, defeating the whole purpose of this stupid game it’s time he MOOOOVE ON ALREADY from talking about this nonsense.

 

[WonderWino]

They need to hook it up with $2 TTS, then keep the volume really low, but still discernable, and tell everyone else in the house to totally ignore the TTS, act like they can't even hear it. Then we can watch Luke's reaction to the "voices on the wind" calling him a fat faggot.

What you do is start out pretending to be the voices by saying things lucas agrees with and hears normally anyway so he'll get used to it and accept the voices and not question them too much, then you gradually slip in crazy things to see how he reacts and what he does. Stuff like 'stop the oranges lucas. the oranges are conspiring against you. they're bigot oranges' on a day where everyone in the house is eating oranges and then make him think other fruits are talking to him and giving him advice on how to get a zoomer bae

I can just imagine lucas being stupid enough to buy into it and making videos screeching about how the grapefruits were right about the oranges conspiring against him to keep him single but lied to him about where to get a zoomer bae

 

[Marshal Mannerheim]

Lucas mentioned The Collins in previous videos, and from what I read it's temporary projects for homeless recovering addicts and such. I don't think there's supposed to be a handful of degenerates in these apartments.

I honestly feel for them.

You're a homeless guy who's made a lot of bad decisions in life, but turned it around and got off crack/heroin/whatever and you finally get into a homeless shelter. You settle down and you're greeted by a crazed pervert ranting on about teleomeres, Zoomers and Bernie Sanders.

 

[AbraCadaver]

What you do is start out pretending to be the voices by saying things lucas agrees with and hears normally anyway so he'll get used to it and accept the voices and not question them too much, then you gradually slip in crazy things to see how he reacts and what he does. Stuff like 'stop the oranges lucas. the oranges are conspiring against you. they're bigot oranges' on a day where everyone in the house is eating oranges and then make him think other fruits are talking to him and giving him advice on how to get a zoomer bae

I can just imagine lucas being stupid enough to buy into it and making videos screeching about how the grapefruits were right about the oranges conspiring against him to keep him single but lied to him about where to get a zoomer bae

No, a better plan is to get hot zoomer bae-sounding women to whisper words of encouragement for a few weeks, then just start repeating the phrase “it’s not in the cards” faster and faster and louder and louder while a loop of women’s laughter plays over it

 

[Yellow Sink Disease]

Ack, I forgot that abandoning kf for two weeks results in 30 pages of Wern to catch up on.

ETA:

"It's his birthday tomorrow on November 27 as usual" made me crack up. As opposed to the rare occasions it's on the 22nd I suppose, per his voicemail.

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Never seen before attraction signs. (I think) Found them on a Facebook post about Lucas by a local. It's set to public if you're curious:

facebook.com/100005241434817/posts/1554279801423386/?d=n

"Pretty good cooker." Well shit, sign me up.

What in the hell is Fatty thinking with these racist, misogynistic threats/tantrums?? He acts as though his racist and sexist rants somehow affect us. It’s absolutely abhorrent, but has no impact on us. The fact he says “I’ll keep it up until I get what I want” makes no sense at all. It hurts no one but him, and if anything, people prefer he keep it up so it gets him in trouble.

He truly does have the mind of a child. A fat, disease ridden, narcissistic, child.

He's just having a lil tantrum. He's probably hungwy or needs a nap.

“Lucas is not gay.”
And yet Lucas has had a penis inside of his mouth.

Like, consentually?

>"semi-illiterage goat herders"
>hobo that can't spell "ghetto" (at least that's what I think he's going for?)

"Proper" English spelling is classist - don't be a bigot.

Anyway, sorry for the long post. See you laters, ovulators.

 

[wenttobermuda]

No, a better plan is to get hot zoomer bae-sounding women to whisper words of encouragement for a few weeks, then just start repeating the phrase “it’s not in the cards” faster and faster and louder and louder while a loop of women’s laughter plays over it

As much as I kike (ETA: some typos are too precious to correct) this plan, I prefer the simplicity of Lucas constantly hearing "fat faggot." Or, to make it resonate more with his HS experience, "gay...gay....gay....gay." In a woman's voice.

Like, consentually?

According to legend, Lucas once performed oral sex on an aspiring rapper named Jason Perva. A brief introduction to their relationship can be found here:

https://kiwifarms.st/threads/lucas-werner.17234/post-6475601

 

[Marshal Mannerheim]

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I just saw this.

He sounds like someone's noncey uncle who comes over to a group of teenagers at a party and tries to chat someone up.

 

[cigarettesalsa]

So Lucas is going to sell his boardgames near cost? 4 dollars and 6 dollars profit per sale. Fantastic margins, Luke.

 

[IceQueen]

....I'm not seeing where isaac is winning there. No sane person would ever willingly eat something lucas made

That he makes, sure, but Isaac has proven to be pretty good at getting Lucas to buy takeout/fast food. Maybe he'll also just make Lucas buy ingredients for stuff and then Isaac/whoever else can cook those ingredients.

So, this house or place Lucas and Isaac are living? Who else is there? Someone is letting them stay there? This isn't something they are formally renting with a lease, is it? Whoever that is has to be totally banged up to let those two stay there. I bet Lucas thinks he is plenty good for being in this situation. This should hopefully lead to some good content. Lucas is such a cow. He will be mooing all the time over there. It should be a good place for Dr. Nigga Luke to get his online studies done.

Ehh if it's a bunch of homeless people who are staying in this house, I don't blame them for letting Lucas live there if they don't know who he is. If you don't know about Lucas he probably does seem like your run of the mill homeless bum at first look.

 

[WonderWino]

That he makes, sure, but Isaac has proven to be pretty good at getting Lucas to buy takeout/fast food. Maybe he'll also just make Lucas buy ingredients for stuff and then Isaac/whoever else can cook those ingredients.

Thats a good point, though the issue there for him is lucas's money doesn't last that long when he orders alot of fast food, so it should be interesting to see what happens if he overdoes it and ends up going 2/3 of the month broke with little more to offer

 

[AFondFare-doToAFriend]

Ehh if it's a bunch of homeless people who are staying in this house, I don't blame them for letting Lucas live there if they don't know who he is. If you don't know about Lucas he probably does seem like your run of the mill homeless bum at first look.

I've mentioned this idea before, but I'm curious to see if he gets introduced to any harder drugs. I honestly hope he doesn't because at the very least the content might dry up. They wouldn't be very good for his debilitating untreated mental illnesses.
Hopefully the crackhead lucas saga will begin before this site gets shut down or whatever.

 

[VoidFace]

So far I’m not digging the Roommate Saga. Having people around means he is too cowardly to yell and scream at the camera like he would in his own apartment, plus it’s too cold for him to go out on the streets for a walk and have a meltdown.

I know it just started, but so far this is the most boring of the sagas.

Edit: and it’s made worse by the very real possibility this may be the last saga before kf is gone.

 

[Gas Station Boner Pills]

Hopefully the other bums there bring some zoomer sluts on slime in and bang em out real loud while Lucas is trying to sleep in the next room over, he's overdue for a screaming incel episode.

For fuck's sake, I'd rather listen to him sperg about his magic old man jizz than these retarded board games.

I hate the idea of anyone being stuck in the cold this winter but I really hope that place throws him out on his ass soon. Seems like he's too comfortable right now to make the content we're all here for.

Side note, I'm changing my stance on making contact with Isaac, someone tell him to get some disinfectant and spray that place down. Fat boy's MRSA is definitely all over that place by now.

 

[mothman96]

The Creep made "vegan" mac and cheese. Seeing the kind of revolting stuff Lucas eats, he would call whatever crap he threw together "delicious".

 

[Krathnami]

The Creep made "vegan" mac and cheese. Seeing the kind of revolting stuff Lucas eats, he would call whatever crap he threw together "delicious".

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He put his cum in it

 

[mothman96]

He put his cum in it

That is the answer to the question:

 

[WonderWino]

The Creep made "vegan" mac and cheese. Seeing the kind of revolting stuff Lucas eats, he would call whatever crap he threw together "delicious".

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The fact he acts like making macaroni and cheese is some kind of major accomplishment and one of the best things he has ever made says alot about how much of an idiot he is

It also reminded me of this

Former Prime Minister Paul Martin regularly referred to it [kraft dinner] as his favourite food, though also confessed that he was unable to prepare it.[23] During the same election former Prime Minister Stephen Harper stated that "I'll never be able to give my kids a billion-dollar company, but Laureen and I are saving for their education. And I have actually cooked them Kraft Dinner — I like to add wieners."[24] Most of his countrymen ignore the instructions and believe that they have a unique way of preparing the food, like adding wieners or cheese.[19] Additional ingredients are not necessary; simply adjusting the cooking time and the amount of milk or butter/margarine can produce a dish ranging from soft noodles in a creamy sauce to firm noodles in a thin, milky sauce.

So lucas is on par with a dumbshit prime minister that didn't know how to boil water and add pasta to it, even though it was his favorite food

 

[Sevan Vosgi]

I'd bet my life that he made a box of Vegan Mac n Cheese from Annie's or a brand like that and is now trying to front like he made a sauce from carrots, potatoes, and nutritional yeast from scratch. lol

 

[King Daddy Telomerase]

So far I’m not digging the Roommate Saga. Having people around means he is too cowardly to yell and scream at the camera like he would in his own apartment, plus it’s too cold for him to go out on the streets for a walk and have a meltdown.

I know it just started, but so far this is the most boring of the sagas.

Edit: and it’s made worse by the very real possibility this may be the last saga before kf is gone.

Yeah, it's very boring. But, it's another clean sign that Lucas can control himself and is socially cognizant enough to realize when he's being retarded. The "nigga" and constant telomerase talk stopped immediately.

 

[Wernology]

Have way too much explaining of a board game.