Horrorcow Lucas Werner - A man of Spokane, Washington who is obsessed with millennial and Gen Z chicks

[AbraCadaver]

It's the women at the college. If he just wanted to stay out of the cold, he could just hang out at the homeless shelter, the bus plaza, mall etc. The "on-campus experience" I'd say is Lucas stalking the college girls, standing/sitting close enough hoping a girl(s) will notice him and approach him. Of course since no girl goes near him and he fears if he does his Wern 2.0 he'll be told to fuck off he rages and comes up he's the one doing the rejecting.

Mate we KNOW that. He’s basically only said that himself about a hundred times. I was just pointing out he’s equally glad to be somewhere warm for the day because he’s a homeless smelly bum.

 

[An Sionnach Seang]

With him being so obsessed with trying to appear sophisticated through eating expensive food and delicacies, as well as cooking in the hobo shelter, I eagerly await the day someone sends him a can of surstromming to open up and cook in the toaster oven at the shelter

He'd be kicked out and banned from the shelter on the spot. He'd also utterly reek of rotten fish for weeks afterwards. He'd also have pissed off a large number of local hobos in a big way by fucking up the shelter like that

unfortunately you can't ship surströmming by air; because it's highly pressurised, there's a very real danger of it bursting in transit

 

[mero]

I love that now the MASKS are the reason he can’t get a girlfriend. Before it was cockblocking, flatbill swooping and whatnot. NOW it’s because all the hot women aren’t wearing masks and he can't abide that. He’d totally ask a woman out, but they’re all maskless and irresponsible! All of them! He’s absolutely ready to ask a woman out, he’s not scared and stalling!!

That’s right, Lucas. Reject them before they have the chance to reject you. They can’t fire you because YOU QUIT!!

Whaddya bet if the babes were all religiously wearing their masks he'd say he won't approach them because he can't tell if they're hot with their faces covered up. Lmao

 

[mothman96]

Where is she in all SCC. The 1 hot masked Gen Z bae that's waiting for Lucas to show up and make her weak in the knees when he says "Hi, I'm Lucas, It's nice to meet you. What's your name? etc. etc. He just needs the location to find her.

 

[WonderWino]

unfortunately you can't ship surströmming by air; because it's highly pressurised, there's a very real danger of it bursting in transit

Thats a myth that started after a warehouse fire caused a bunch of cans in storage to burst due to the heat, which got several airlines to go full idiot about it and ban them claiming they'll somehow explode on the plane. Its nonsense, as even the major manufacturers of it have told the airlines repeatedly

Where is she in all SCC. The 1 hot masked Gen Z bae that's waiting for Lucas to show up and make her weak in the knees when he says "Hi, I'm Lucas, It's nice to meet you. What's your name? etc. etc. He just needs the location to find her.

I mean he's not entirely wrong. If he goes up to a zoomer bae and says 'hi i'm lucas its nice to meet you' she will certainly go weak in the knees, but not out of lust, she'll be getting dizzy and want to puke from the horrifying hobo stench he gives off. So he does have the power to bring zoomer baes to their knees, just not for the reasons he thinks he does

That said, the fact he says 'how i'd approach a woman if I had the location' shows how unhinged he is. WHAT location exactly? He's at the college, women are at the college. He HAS their location. He comes off as stupider than a bag of rocks by saying things like that

and he even shows he has no idea what to say in that meme pic. His plan is literally to ask those questions, at which point he has absolutely no idea what to say, which he has admitted to multiple times. He hopes that if he asks those specific questions she will either give a reply he can latch on to in order to ask more questions - which she won't because any sane woman will want to end that convo as quickly as possible and get the fuck away from him, or hoping she'll end it with '.....and what about you? tell me about yourself lucas?' so he can jump into his magic sperm talk

and if there really is some dumbass out there somewhere stupid enough to actually point the wern in the direction of an actual party with college girls for him to leer at that person is an idiot, because at best lucas would embarrass himself publicly at said party. At worst he would either get real creepy with someone there and provoke an incident, or he would try and slip something into a few drinks, hoping to rush in and be her 'savior.' He is exactly the type of creep to do that kind of thing. I can absolutely see him hitting up one of the other lowlife hobos he spends time around at the shelter for some roofies in exchange for weed or whatever, so he can try to pull something like that

 

[Sevan Vosgi]

Where is she in all SCC. The 1 hot masked Gen Z bae that's waiting for Lucas to show up and make her weak in the knees when he says "Hi, I'm Lucas, It's nice to meet you. What's your name? etc. etc. He just needs the location to find her.
View attachment 1870058

Goes without saying, but holy mother of god is this approach so creepy. I'm sure "hi, what's your name? how was your day?" might work for, y'know, attractive and/or charismatic men... but other men, ESPECIALLY Lucas? Not convinced and no way, in that order. Any woman approached with something so fucking vague is going to have major 'what does this creep want' alarms going off. This is what an 8 year old would write down if you asked "how might you make a new girlfriend on the playground?" It's so basic. It's so painful.

Lord.

 

[TurdFondler]

The chances of hobos having ghb these days is slim. If they had any they'd do it. You're more likely to find it in the club scene. It's a rare drug, easier to just split a line of blow with a roastie if you're trying to get laid.

Either way, Wern would get laughed out of a party almost immediately.

 

[mothman96]

Thats a myth that started after a warehouse fire caused a bunch of cans in storage to burst due to the heat, which got several airlines to go full idiot about it and ban them claiming they'll somehow explode on the plane. Its nonsense, as even the major manufacturers of it have told the airlines repeatedly



I mean he's not entirely wrong. If he goes up to a zoomer bae and says 'hi i'm lucas its nice to meet you' she will certainly go weak in the knees, but not out of lust, she'll be getting dizzy and want to puke from the horrifying hobo stench he gives off. So he does have the power to bring zoomer baes to their knees, just not for the reasons he thinks he does

That said, the fact he says 'how i'd approach a woman if I had the location' shows how unhinged he is. WHAT location exactly? He's at the college, women are at the college. He HAS their location. He comes off as stupider than a bag of rocks by saying things like that

and he even shows he has no idea what to say in that meme pic. His plan is literally to ask those questions, at which point he has absolutely no idea what to say, which he has admitted to multiple times. He hopes that if he asks those specific questions she will either give a reply he can latch on to in order to ask more questions - which she won't because any sane woman will want to end that convo as quickly as possible and get the fuck away from him, or hoping she'll end it with '.....and what about you? tell me about yourself lucas?' so he can jump into his magic sperm talk

and if there really is some dumbass out there somewhere stupid enough to actually point the wern in the direction of an actual party with college girls for him to leer at that person is an idiot, because at best lucas would embarrass himself publicly at said party. At worst he would either get real creepy with someone there and provoke an incident, or he would try and slip something into a few drinks, hoping to rush in and be her 'savior.' He is exactly the type of creep to do that kind of thing. I can absolutely see him hitting up one of the other lowlife hobos he spends time around at the shelter for some roofies in exchange for weed or whatever, so he can try to pull something like that

That just it. He's looking for what does not exist. A girl that will want him.

 

[Wernology]

Like looking at the troll/catfish account for like 14 seconds and almost all of the posts are from the same day. Honestly if Wern doesn’t realize this is a troll/catfish he might very well be the dumbest hunk of shit on earth.

He'll fall for it.

He always falls for them. The closest he ever gets to NOT falling for them are the rare few times he has demanded "fully body pics" or video chats and is somehow aware enough to recognize that "she's" stalling enough to block the account. I think he's done that...maybe two or three times, and even then he'll still start babbling about being in love with them out of the gate until he realizes he's not getting titty pics out of it.

If it were anyone else getting constantly catfished, I'd feel bad for him, but Lucas so absolutely deserves it.

That said, the fact he says 'how i'd approach a woman if I had the location' shows how unhinged he is. WHAT location exactly? He's at the college, women are at the college. He HAS their location. He comes off as stupider than a bag of rocks by saying things like that

THE location, with specific dates and times that the Zoomer Baes are let out of the warehouse the Zoomer Wiggers keep them so they can get some fresh air before being herded back inside for the nightly orgies that Lucas isn't invited to, of course.

 

[IceQueen]

So, SO much about this is hilarious “this is how you make a meme” ... no, no it’s actually not. First off, memes typically have text only on the top and bottom, not the top, bottom, and middle, not to mention the fact that the text at the top and bottom is cut off. Secondly, memes are usually jokes/parodies, not just random statements one wants to make; and finally, memes don’t hold much value if they aren’t pictures of people/places/things that are either 1) instantly recognizable, or 2) pictures from an already occurring, popular meme. So no, this is actually nothing like a meme, it’s just words pasted over text. The only thing meme-like about it is the font.

Also, why the fuck did he take this picture like this??? Was he trying to purposely show his ugly ass bald spot? What is the purpose of having the picture so that you can see him in the mirror behind him?!

 

[Fanatical Pragmatist]

So, SO much about this is hilarious “this is how you make a meme” ... no, no it’s actually not. First off, memes typically have text only on the top and bottom, not the top, bottom, and middle, not to mention the fact that the text at the top and bottom is cut off. Secondly, memes are usually jokes/parodies, not just random statements one wants to make; and finally, memes don’t hold much value if they aren’t pictures of people/places/things that are either 1) instantly recognizable, or 2) pictures from an already occurring, popular meme. So no, this is actually nothing like a meme, it’s just words pasted over text. The only thing meme-like about it is the font.

Also, why the fuck did he take this picture like this??? Was he trying to purposely show his ugly ass bald spot? What is the purpose of having the picture so that you can see him in the mirror behind him?!

1) Lucas does not understand any social cue or nuance, and Lucas cannot understand/connect with the struggles/experiences of other humans; therefore he cannot comprehend memes because that would require both. So his "memes" become a template of text over a picture because he cannot understand why people would recognize a picture or why they would empathize with "the joke".

2) He's clearly trying to show off what a smart doctor scientist he is by talking about test tubes, but at the same time low-key pleading with the internet to help him figure out how to use whatever virtual classroom lab program SSC is using.

3) If Lucas Werner had any self-awareness of his photos/poses/actions that he posts, then this thread would be missing 50% of its content

 

[moseph.jartelli]

So, SO much about this is hilarious “this is how you make a meme” ... no, no it’s actually not. First off, memes typically have text only on the top and bottom, not the top, bottom, and middle, not to mention the fact that the text at the top and bottom is cut off. Secondly, memes are usually jokes/parodies, not just random statements one wants to make; and finally, memes don’t hold much value if they aren’t pictures of people/places/things that are either 1) instantly recognizable, or 2) pictures from an already occurring, popular meme. So no, this is actually nothing like a meme, it’s just words pasted over text. The only thing meme-like about it is the font.

Also, why the fuck did he take this picture like this??? Was he trying to purposely show his ugly ass bald spot? What is the purpose of having the picture so that you can see him in the mirror behind him?!

Thats the finest example of his bald spot in quite awhile

 

[Kane Lives]

Thats the finest example if his bald spot in quite awhile

Forget the bald spot, that mask looks so disgusting. He's going to be breeding some exotic disease in there if he continues wearing it.

 

[BowlOfDick]

Okay.. I’m now satisfied Luke is producing the kind of content I’m here for.

 

[AbraCadaver]

Soon zoomer baes will be declared “baldist” for not swooning over his egg dome. How dare they! Don’t they know flatbills with thick luxurious heads of hair are all weak babies? A full head of hair, no telomeres to spare!!

 

[LeeLoo]

So, SO much about this is hilarious “this is how you make a meme” ... no, no it’s actually not. First off, memes typically have text only on the top and bottom, not the top, bottom, and middle, not to mention the fact that the text at the top and bottom is cut off. Secondly, memes are usually jokes/parodies, not just random statements one wants to make; and finally, memes don’t hold much value if they aren’t pictures of people/places/things that are either 1) instantly recognizable, or 2) pictures from an already occurring, popular meme. So no, this is actually nothing like a meme, it’s just words pasted over text. The only thing meme-like about it is the font.

Also, why the fuck did he take this picture like this??? Was he trying to purposely show his ugly ass bald spot? What is the purpose of having the picture so that you can see him in the mirror behind him?!

If I recall from the annals of Wernology, Fatty has made the claim that baldness is a sign of virility. So showing off that dome, in the bathroom of a homeless shelter, while wearing another skid marked mask, is another way of enticing the baes.

And the fact that once again, he is going to his “fans” for help with homework is just amazing.

 

[Club Sandwich]

baldness is a sign of virility

baldness is a sign of above average testosterone levels that accumulate in cells over time. there was some prison study where state-castrated inmates were studied along with the general population and determined that men with little or low testosterone, or who were insensitive to testosterone through drugs or chemicals, would stop balding. this is also why, some people say, that "tough guys" tend to be bald - the higher testosterone levels that lend itself to muscle and bone growth and aggression will also lead to baldness (specifically - beards and body hair are usually unaffected as the follicles differ from the ones on the scalp).

testosterone is also linked to heart failure, kidney disease, liver disorders, acne, high blood pressure, blood clots, depression, and risky, aggressive behavior. Lucas is likely naturally losing hair because that's what happens to average men as they age - there's nothing special about it. if he were completely bald by the time he was 30, then you might say he's especially sensitive to testosterone, or there's some other hormonal thing going on.

 

[Wernology]

So, SO much about this is hilarious “this is how you make a meme” ... no, no it’s actually not. First off, memes typically have text only on the top and bottom, not the top, bottom, and middle, not to mention the fact that the text at the top and bottom is cut off. Secondly, memes are usually jokes/parodies, not just random statements one wants to make; and finally, memes don’t hold much value if they aren’t pictures of people/places/things that are either 1) instantly recognizable, or 2) pictures from an already occurring, popular meme. So no, this is actually nothing like a meme, it’s just words pasted over text. The only thing meme-like about it is the font.

Also, why the fuck did he take this picture like this??? Was he trying to purposely show his ugly ass bald spot? What is the purpose of having the picture so that you can see him in the mirror behind him?!

He's a genius, yet he can't figure out how basic tech works in a virtual lab.

Okay, then. I mean it's not all that surprising considering he seemed to also have trouble operating a DS, a computer, and occasionally a phone.

I feel like he thinks meme means, "I used the Impact font or imgflip to create it."

 

[ItsjustabowlofGary]

So, SO much about this is hilarious “this is how you make a meme” ... no, no it’s actually not. First off, memes typically have text only on the top and bottom, not the top, bottom, and middle, not to mention the fact that the text at the top and bottom is cut off. Secondly, memes are usually jokes/parodies, not just random statements one wants to make; and finally, memes don’t hold much value if they aren’t pictures of people/places/things that are either 1) instantly recognizable, or 2) pictures from an already occurring, popular meme. So no, this is actually nothing like a meme, it’s just words pasted over text. The only thing meme-like about it is the font.

Also, why the fuck did he take this picture like this??? Was he trying to purposely show his ugly ass bald spot? What is the purpose of having the picture so that you can see him in the mirror behind him?!

Did anyone else notice that the Wern’s bald spot in this pic looks like an ass?

 

[mothman96]

"The Wern gotta form a study group", "These women better be of the masked". Since he wants the women masked it looks to be he wants an in-person study group with him as the only man. Likely thinks the women will be working out the assignments for him.