Horrorcow Lucas Werner - A man of Spokane, Washington who is obsessed with millennial and Gen Z chicks

[LightEmittingDiode]

How much cleaning did you have to do after you kicked out Lucas? We have heard from another ex-roommate that he plasters his walls with jizz and scrubs things clean with toilet brushes; did you have any similar experiences with his “cleanliness”? Also, did Lucas ever cook any of his schizo abomination meals at your apartment when he did have money, or did he mostly gorge on fast food?

 

[DefunctGames]

How much cleaning did you have to do after you kicked out Lucas? We have heard from another ex-roommate that he plasters his walls with jizz and scrubs things clean with toilet brushes; did you have any similar experiences with his “cleanliness”? Also, did Lucas ever cook any of his schizo abomination meals at your apartment when he did have money, or did he mostly gorge on fast food?

Wait ... is that real?? Oh my god, that's awful!!

When I kicked him out, I gave him a few days to pack up and get his stuff together. His mom and step-dad helped move his furniture and I chipped in with the moving. He knew he hadn't paid rent in months and felt bad about it, and I tried to be as helpful as possible. I would say that he left the spare room in reasonably okay condition. Soda and drink stains on the carpet and a dent in the wall from what I have always assumed was a punch. Nothing too bad. The biggest mess was his attempted pot farm in the closet. Unbeknownst to me, he had set up a few plants and some lights in hopes of growing his own supply, since it wasn't legal in Washington yet and he never had money to buy it. He failed. This made a big mess, including lots of dirt and water damage. This is something my next roommate complained about, but we did what we could to clean up and fix the problems left by Lucas.

It's funny reading the autobiography again and seeing him complain about having to pay for utilities (blaming me hogging the computer for some reason), yet here he is with grow lights hidden away in his room spiking the power bill. Odd how he doesn't mention any of that. Then again, a few months of higher power bills is a lot better than cleaning jizz off the walls.

As for the food, he didn't really cook much when he lived with me. Aside from a car and crashing on a friend's couch for a few weeks, this was the first time he lived away from home. I don't think he even knew how to cook, so he mainly used the oven for cooking frozen pizzas and stuff like that. Nothing too out of the ordinary. He also ate out a lot. Or snack foods, like chips. This probably won't come as much surprise to anybody who has seen the dude, but he's not exactly the healthiest eater. I suspect he learned how to cook out of necessity when he moved to the assisted living apartment and lived by himself. That's when he had food stamps and an allowance, two things that allowed him to buy more groceries. I mean, he would still buy pizza every time his food stamp card was refilled, but he also made burritos and other simple (cheap) things.

I would like to draw your attention to one line from his autobiography: "Cyril would take it out on me and bring up my poor cleaning skills."

There are a lot of lies in his write-up, but this is 100% true. Look, I'm not exactly the cleanest guy in the world, so don't think I'm criticizing him for being a tiny bit messy or leaving something out a little too long. Especially then, I wasn't too anal about cleanliness. But this was on a whole other level. He would rinse a used plate under the water for a couple seconds and call it good, even when there were huge chunks of food still smeared on the plate. The utensil drawer was filled with spoons that still had beans on them. That's the kind of shit I was complaining about, not minor things. And I'm not even sure he saw the value in washing dishes. I have a hunch that if I didn't get the plates clean, he would just keep using the same dirty one over and over. Imagine the dirtiest person you could possibly live with. Lucas is ten times worse.

 

[Archie_Kimkicker]

Ive never seen someone act like such a gay faggot after something went over their head. No one can be this stupid....

... except Lucas. That would explain your schizo username, your hostility towards Cyril (your homoerotic arch-nemesis), and you being unwanted by a group of people but leaving on some kind of false bravado, deluded that you won some kind of 'fight' that doesn't exist. Run along then, you homo hobo

His ability to use KF emojis makes me suspect that it is not Pucas. Probably a sock of another disgruntled poster.

In any case, the new information added to this thread has removed any last shred of dignity Werner is owed. I have no doubt that he violated those girls, and for that alone he belongs cold on a slab.

 

[mothman96]

No. I remember him having similar stalking problems with at least two of his former girlfriends. I know that Gina (who he dated while I was a senior in high school) was concerned about him after they broke up. And then there was another girlfriend later. There's a video of him getting into a fight here in Olympia (years after I cut him out of my life), and the things the guy is saying to him at the time suggested he was doing exactly the same thing to that guy that he did to me. Here's the video I'm talking about:

In a video he talks about a HS girlfriend who was 2 years older. She was a senior and he a sophomore. He said she would push him away/rejecting his advances. Doesn't look like she was into the relationship and even at that point he comes across as aggressive.

 

[ToroidalBoat]

Is it possible to actually get WORSE at singing over time??

"Chris Chan" (CWC) once sounded more normal in high school, but years of isolation has made his voice sound bizarre. I guess years of mental illness did that to Werner's singing voice.

 

[strandedcastaway]

He is/was a "Dave" zombie? Jesus, it gets worse.

Though pretty ironic when Boyd Tinsley was Lucas' favorite Dave Matthews Band member and Boyd was kicked out of DMB for sexually harassing a group of young musicians he was "mentoring".

 

[Wernology]

Imagine the dirtiest person you could possibly live with. Lucas is ten times worse.

He's still like that. His last apartment had this huge, black grease stain in the wall at the head of his bed and his excuse for it was "it was there when I moved in"--well dude, clean it then.

There was also one live stream he did while drunk on youtube where he left the phone running as he got up to walk over to the sink and piss in it. That wasn't on camera but you could hear it, it was a tiny closet of an efficiency apartment and the actual bathroom was a shared bathroom down the hall.

Yum.

Then there's this more recent video from Nov 2020; if the embed doesn't start at the right time, it's at the 5 minute mark where he shows off doing his laundry in a bathtub like it's impressive and continues talking as he pisses all over and around the toilet and 'washes' his hands by running them under water for literally a second.

This is a guy who also routinely says he's 'very clean' and 'very hygienic'--oh, and it's the one where he mimics performing oral sex on deodorant at the end in the dark and somehow thinks that's funny/sexy.

This one is a video that one ex-roomate, Dan, the dude he got into a screaming match with in the parking lot, posted that someone in SOFALAW sent to me to post and it backs up the kind of nastiness you described.

He's definitely still the dirties person anyone could possibly live with.

This was the, uh, apartment tour he put up to show off that he knew how to clean after he read comments here calling him nasty and dirty.

 

[Free the Pedos]

In any case, the new information added to this thread has removed any last shred of dignity Werner is owed. I have no doubt that he violated those girls, and for that alone he belongs cold on a slab.

On the one hand, that gels with his single minded pursuit of sex with children at all costs. On the other, we've seen he doesn't have the impulse control to avoid mentioning his sexual hallucinations about children, so I have to think that if he actually had assaulted these girls he would have mentioned it indirectly at some point. I'm torn.

@DefunctGames , thank you for your sensitive and illuminating information about Lucas. Like many people here I'm fascinated by the effects of untreated mental illness, and your "before" picture is vital to appreciating what Lucas has become. I can't help but wonder what 15 year old Lucas would think about 41 year old Lucas.

 

[Josef Mengele]

@DefunctGames This was a great infodump this really cleared up many of the suspicions we had about Wern. The details about him being medicated for a stretch in the early 2000's had surprised me, it must have been hard to watch his metamorphosis. He really did have it all, rent controlled apartment, social network of friends and family, a job, but in typical fashion he blew it all, and he willingly took all he had and set it ablaze in the apartment parking lot. I found the details about the Wizards cap quite humorous. As for the stories about the young girls and getting them drunk, I have no doubt he acted on his demented desires. I was also surprised about the scamming and phasing schemes he was conducting in the early 2000's, it is quite akin to his CashApp and e-begging today. I really thought he had a gradual decline into becoming the rambling madman he is today, but the info you have bestowed upon us illustrates how frighteningly rapidly he declined, and while he was at a morally reprehensible low he continued to decline physically and socially. I have no doubt that he would try to lure girls off of the street if he had an apartment today, and thank God he doesn't. I think Lucas had crossed the line from being comparable to CWC in some aspects to becoming a Nick Bate in almost all aspects, the sad thing is Nick got a minute amount of what he deserved, but Lucas is still running free causing undue burden and his suspicious behaviors were most likely not investigated by authorities. The saddest part of his story is that, he could have been involuntarily committed in the late 1990's while still under the custody of his mother, but I assume she had been tormented enough by her son and relinquished control, thus resulting in a substantial amount of collateral damage to the many people who formed relationships with the Wern.

 

[mothman96]

On the one hand, that gels with his single minded pursuit of sex with children at all costs. On the other, we've seen he doesn't have the impulse control to avoid mentioning his sexual hallucinations about children, so I have to think that if he actually had assaulted these girls he would have mentioned it indirectly at some point. I'm torn.

I'd say through time he's come to know certain things he has done are not going to sit well at all if they come to light. Cyril had warned him at the time that getting the girls drunk/high didn't reflect good on him and he even lost his housing because of it. So he would not want to make reference to past actions that point to him as a Predator.

 

[Jeremiah the Bullfrog]

Suddenly, the good-natured Lucas I knew changed to somebody who was stand-offish and kind of mean. He also started acting incredibly erratic, in some truly troubling ways. He would take in homeless girls (not women, but underage girls) under the guise of being helpful and nice. This worried me, because one of the times I went over there, I noticed that he had gotten them really drunk and high, to the point where they were basically comatose on his couch. Obviously, this sent up a lot of red flags, and I warned him that this looks REALLY bad. I worried that Lucas might be taking advantage of them, and I was not okay with that. Not at all. I was not going to be in his orbit if that was going on. It was a deal-breaker for me.

We've debated whether or not Lucas would be a danger to a woman if he found himself in position to take advantage for awhile now. I think this settles that debate.

Just for a small bit of context: I cut Lucas out of my life completely after he went off his medication and showed signs of being violent. After I told him I would never talk to him (15 or 16 years ago, at this point), he would call me 200 times a day, email me hundreds of times, leave notes on my door and car, and generally stalk and harass me.

I can't imagine that you still have those notes laying around, but what was the basic gist of them? The Starbucks incident was based around him leaving creepy notes. His 'attraction signs' are essentially notes as well. This seems to be a trend.

As you point out, I'm still close friends with Seth, so you won't get much dirt on him from me. He is, by all accounts, pretty normal and boring. He's been a teacher for going on a decade and good at what he does. Loves his job, leads a normal life, has no problem with women and is the opposite of Lucas in pretty much every way.

I'm curious if you happen to know what led to Seth writing Lucas off? I could see a parent saying "He needs to hit rock bottom before he straightens out" but I'd think that it would take more for someone to sever ties with their brother, especially if they used to be close.

Also, you mentioned that his father was pretty much done with Lucas's bullshit when Myrna sent him back? Do you have any context on why that might have been the case?

Wait ... is that real?? Oh my god, that's awful!!

It was worse than that actually. There was a thread on SOFALAW where another roommate of his mentioned that after he moved out there was cum on the walls and that he had talked about jerking off into their Macaroni and Cheese. Also, he would clean the bathroom floor using the toilet brush.

No. I remember him having similar stalking problems with at least two of his former girlfriends. I know that Gina (who he dated while I was a senior in high school) was concerned about him after they broke up. And then there was another girlfriend later. T

What were these relationships like? Were they serious romantic relationships or just a couple dates and then he started stalking them?

 

[Fecunt]

I’m from Olympia and first became aware of Lucas in or around 2007/8 when he was stalking a female friend of mine who he was leaving similar notes to while she was a server at King Solomon’s Reef, a diner in the middle of downtown. It’s absolutely a trend, and like with all of his behavior, it only stops (or slightly morphs) when he receives tangible consequences, and not from their lack of efficacy.

The Starbucks incident was based around him leaving creepy notes. His 'attraction signs' are essentially notes as well. This seems to be a trend.

 

[Particle Bored]

I’d like to know exactly how DID Lucas talk to girls in school. Lucas states that he would introduce himself by name, then stare randomly around at things and shrug his shoulders “comically”, unable to speak to the girl. Then she’d ask him if he was gay, apparently.

However, Cyril stated that when talking to “strangers or girls he liked,” Lucas could have inappropriate outbursts and become rude. I’m wondering if we could find out exactly how Lucas DID talk to girls back then. Lucas always made it sound like he would introduce himself to a girl, then blank on anything else to say, until she awkwardly exited the situation.

I wonder if the "inappropriate and rude" was the result of the akward nerd tactic of trying to get a girl's attention with what he thinks is a wry or acerbic (or sexually suggestive) comment about something, thinking he's being witty and clever and connecting on some "counterculture" level, but either though tone, wording, or basic failure to read the room (or just because a lot of chicks are turned off by that kind of negative condescension, even under guise of humor), comes off as an asshole. Like saying "lol christians amirite?" without realizing the girl is a Christian (or just not an 'anti-theist'), or butting into a light conversation about relationships with "I'd eat pussy like soft serve ice cream, and you can tell by my size that i loves me some ice cream." And then maybe getting belligerent when he doesnt get the sympathetic response he expects.

 

[Jeremiah the Bullfrog]

I’m from Olympia and first became aware of Lucas in or around 2007/8 when he was stalking a female friend of mine who he was leaving similar notes to while she was a server at King Solomon’s Reef, a diner in the middle of downtown. It’s absolutely a trend, and like with all of his behavior, it only stops (or slightly morphs) when he receives tangible consequences, and not from their lack of efficacy.

Either this thread didn't cover it in depth or I just glossed over it, but Lucas's stalking an individual person (aside from Suzanne) is new information for me.

If you don't mind me asking, how'd it play out with your friend? These are presumably the days before his groundbreaking research into the benefits of older men with under women (as he'd have been about 27 at the time), so what was he on about in the notes he left her?

 

[Da Dude123]

I am hoping Lucas sees that you are on the farms @DefunctGames . He will probably lose it knowing this. I know he is a former friend. But as you can see we are not nice to him here at all. We love to point out his lesser qualities, of which he has many.

For example, I love to make fun of his obesity and his slovenly appearance. I also love to point out how he is a ragman, instead of the King who he thinks he is. I intend to keep doing this.

One time Lucas made a profile on here and came on here and made a vain attempt at defending himself. We shut him down and he went reeeing back to his subsidized fart box.

After reading your stories about him I dislike him even more. Sure, it gives some explanation on how he got to where he is today. It also shows that he has been an entitled and self centered asshole for many years and he has always thought he is plenty good.

You sound like a nice person, but we will be mocking Lucas relentlessly. We do enjoy hearing your stories, though, and we get it if you don't want to be as harsh as us. But please feel free to keep sharing. Especially, during his current disappearance.

 

[Stafford Beer Bong]

One time Lucas made a profile on here and came on here and made a vain attempt at defending himself. We shut him down and he went reeeing back to his subsidized fart box.

If I remember correctly, he rage posted gay porn shortly before he reeee’d back to his fart box.

 

[WonderWino]

He's definitely still the dirties person anyone could possibly live with.

I'd like to believe that but i've known some people just as dirty, if not moreso. Including a guy who would get up in the middle of the night, walk to the bathroom, piss all over his feet and then get back in bed with piss covered feet. The same guy used to pick his ears with pieces of tennis racket string then leave them in piles on the floor around his chair for months, covered in aging chunks of earwax. Those aren't even the worst of them. Even by lucas standards thats fucked up

That said, I have to wonder how lucas was able to get these runaway drug addicted or whatever teens into his apartment, and all drugged up in the first place. By all accounts he is incapable of approaching women and on the rare occasion he does talk to a woman he wants he can barely speak, unless its to rant like a loon. It also doesn't really fit with his known behavior before or since, considering how paranoid he is about getting caught doing something and ending up in jail. No way that wouldn't have ended with something happening to him one way or another

I don't know, some of these revelations seem a little too good and on the nose to be true

I'd say through time he's come to know certain things he has done are not going to sit well at all if they come to light. Cyril had warned him at the time that getting the girls drunk/high didn't reflect good on him and he even lost his housing because of it. So he would not want to make reference to past actions that point to him as a Predator.

and if anything that only raises more questions. I find it very odd that his housing organization didn't make more of an issue about that and involve the police, as they're legally obligated to in such situations, (as it happened with their resident on their property. That screams liability for keeping their mouth shut) If for no other reason than to cover their asses if one of those girls were to come back and start making accusations that they knew about it and willingly allowed it to happen. Thats how massive bad media attention and equally massive lawsuits from said girls happen. Nobody in their right mind would just shut up and kick him out over it, thats just asking for one of those girls to come back on them later and cause serious problems for everyone involved

Point is i'm taking all of these claims with as big of a grain of salt as I would anything that lucas says. Particularly when coming from someone who claims myrna wasn't making excuses and covering for him, and doesn't seem to see how blatantly narcissistic and manipulative she was and still is. Especially when she has done so blatantly and repeatedly. She's not that much different from lucas herself in that regard, which is likely where he learned some of it

That said, why exactly would someone get a restraining order against lucas and then not bother to make any attempt to enforce it if they're getting 200 messages a day, stalked and constantly harassed? It defeats the purpose of going through the trouble to get one in the first place

 

[Krathnami]

I just can’t get over that he called himself “The Wizard”. What a faggot.

 

[MeganDodgedABullet]

Damn. Some deep Wern lore being dropped. Kudos to our new source.

 

[Windex]

I'd like to believe that but i've known some people just as dirty, if not moreso. Including a guy who would get up in the middle of the night, walk to the bathroom, piss all over his feet and then get back in bed with piss covered feet. The same guy used to pick his ears with pieces of tennis racket string then leave them in piles on the floor around his chair for months, covered in aging chunks of earwax. Those aren't even the worst of them. Even by lucas standards thats fucked up

That said, I have to wonder how lucas was able to get these runaway drug addicted or whatever teens into his apartment, and all drugged up in the first place. By all accounts he is incapable of approaching women and on the rare occasion he does talk to a woman he wants he can barely speak, unless its to rant like a loon. It also doesn't really fit with his known behavior before or since, considering how paranoid he is about getting caught doing something and ending up in jail. No way that wouldn't have ended with something happening to him one way or another

I don't know, some of these revelations seem a little too good and on the nose to be true



and if anything that only raises more questions. I find it very odd that his housing organization didn't make more of an issue about that and involve the police, as they're legally obligated to in such situations, (as it happened with their resident on their property. That screams liability for keeping their mouth shut) If for no other reason than to cover their asses if one of those girls were to come back and start making accusations that they knew about it and willingly allowed it to happen. Thats how massive bad media attention and equally massive lawsuits from said girls happen. Nobody in their right mind would just shut up and kick him out over it, thats just asking for one of those girls to come back on them later and cause serious problems for everyone involved

Point is i'm taking all of these claims with as big of a grain of salt as I would anything that lucas says. Particularly when coming from someone who claims myrna wasn't making excuses and covering for him, and doesn't seem to see how blatantly narcissistic and manipulative she was and still is. Especially when she has done so blatantly and repeatedly. She's not that much different from lucas herself in that regard, which is likely where he learned some of it

That said, why exactly would someone get a restraining order against lucas and then not bother to make any attempt to enforce it if they're getting 200 messages a day, stalked and constantly harassed? It defeats the purpose of going through the trouble to get one in the first place

Wow, thanks for glimpse into your life in the first paragraph - please, tell us more about your filthy friends.

Is there any basis for you to (in a circuitous, pussyfooting manner) call Cyril a liar? The homeless staying with him, Lucas himself admitted to in one of the many 2013ish screen grabs shared here. He just didn’t specify that they were girls, because he’s a predator.

Every lolcow has that family member, ex or friend who can offer genuine insight and bring clarity/missing pieces to the Lore of the Lolcow. But there’s always someone shitting up the thread, entirely unprovoked. Let the milk flow.