DarksydePhil / TheyCallMeDSP / Phil Burnell - General Discussion

[Zappin’ And Spazzin’]

"someone sent it to him because it was funny".

Well I hope that person was banned because the original TiHYDP was made by a literal psychopath who wants to murder Phil, who should be tied up in a straightjacket rather than making videos

 

[Poo Twister]

EDIT: Just said that he doesn't like the newer TIHYDP's because they reuse the same shitty jokes over and over.....welp, they may be shitty but at least there's more humor in them than any joke Phil has ever come up with

They do use the same shitty jokes, and they are still more original than that literal bag of cancer.

 

[Shirō Ishii]

Phil said that he doesn't care anymore about anyone making fun of him anymore and that TIHYDP's don't bother him anymore. However, what he does hate is when they personally attack him and not just on his gameplay and that's when they cross the line....But don't worry, it's okay when Phil personally berates and attacks people like Major Riot and his fans and anyone else who questions his authority

 

[Thomas Highway]

He’s speaking in that “gentler” voice a lot today, like when he talks to Jasper. Like he’s full of childlike wonder. It’s just...

Pokemon Go was kind of fun for a little bit due to the novelty. But that requires leaving the house so not a game for Phil.

 

[wahkando]

Not sure of exact figures, but BSV probably.

Well OIC is probably the most deranged, mentally ill fan has had since Vidar, so you never know.

 

[50 bit bitch]

See that?

Feels good to know i'm not crazy and he has actually been saying it more over time, this is what he considers "interacting" with the chat

 

[SauceRyuKen]

Pokemon Snap is Pigoty 2021 material. Phil absolutely loves it, he's looking forward to it as a night stream. He can't even say the names of the damn things right. At this point is a pointless game. It's just a shitty pokemon rail shooter. Just take all the stuff that makes pokemon cool or entertaining, namely the fights and the character growth, and leave only the marketing side of it with very basic gameplay and there you go. It's for literal small children. This is the type of thing a dad who used to play pokemon back in the day gets their three year old to fuck around with. I say the whole baby game thing a lot, I know, but this time Phil's playing a literal baby's first game. Phil's STILL making it literally MUCH more stalling than gameplay, has no stories to tell, and his running commentary of what happened on the screen is shit tier. I guess it's to be expected, Phil avoids challenge runs like the plague and challenge runs are pretty much the only way to make a pokemon stream interesting at all. The real question is why he'd even waste the money on another lengthy chill stream game when his chill game schedule is already full.

At least it gave us PidgeyOAT I guess. This has just been a break from Returnal and a convenient excuse to send Daveinity to the chaosrealm on an indefinite hiatus. Phil's completely out of his depth trying to make this an entertaining stream and he's reading EVERY. SINGLE. BIT. OF TEXT. Whether it's a menu, a character line, or a picture he's sending, it's gonna take him upwards of 100 hours to beat this damn thing. And the best thing: You can replace Phil's entire shtick as a commentary streamer for the literal blind with a TTS robot. Edna from The Last Of Us 2 could easily do Phil's thing better.

Other positive, Derich's super hyped about this. He's been discussing his pokemon card collection, Phil has said he should sell it. I wonder if the implication is that Derich would then have money to give Phil. Probably not, riiiight?

Tiny begment before the break. Phil really hopes WE can hit the tips goal. Heading out on OUR break, comrades. Lots of whispering and baby talk today.

Absolutely fucking miserable.

EDIT: Added some things.

 

[PieceofShet]

View attachment 2137181

See that?

Feels good to know i'm not crazy and he has actually been saying it more over time, this is what he considers "interacting" with the chat

What about "LOOK!"?

Thats an average 1 "look" every 3 minutes (counted 7hours a day, 26 day a month).

 

[Surly Muppet]

Name one DSP mod... who after bought his modship, continued to pay the same ammount moving forward.
Ill wait...

Depending on how many sock accounts you believe to be his and how long they have been active and under the radar, Swagginz is probably up there. He also transitioned from large cheers to these persistent tips, so Phil doesn't have to give him any attention, he gets his personal information, and he has a steady flow of cash which Phil deems more desirable anyway. So even if Swagginz is spending slightly less, he's spending with greater subservience.
If OiC and Vidar are the king of 'deranged mod' category, Swagginz is their rival in the 'cuck mod' category.

Other positive, Derich's super hyped about this. He's been discussing his pokemon card collection, Phil has said he should sell it. I wonder if the implication is that Derich would then have money to give Phil. Probably not, riiiight?

Phil's love of Snap makes sense. It plays into his desire for absolute simplicity in his games, an inability to really fail, and it feeds his wild autism about watching woodland creatures frolic.

Derich's love of this game is disturbing when you consider that he loves watching this, but probably has some raunchy porn and several porn star twitter accounts open in the tabs next to Phil on his browser. I wonder what will happen once Derich ends up on the sex offender list - will Phil just pretend he never existed? All the Derich memes stuffed into a drawer next to the silver chain...

 

[BepsiLight]

I get a laugh on how the thread teeters back and forth between Kat being dumb as bricks or being a 5D chess gold digger.

I mean she can be both honestly. She can eat all the glue she wants while also being capable and knowledgeable enough to entice a lonely man like Phil
I believe Phil is genuine when he says Khet says words to him no other woman has ever said to him before and why he thought she was her soulmaid after like a fucking week of knowing her. She knows how to entice men.
And looking from the gold digger angle she's living the dream right now. Her work money is basically hers to spend on more copies of Skyrim, lives in a gated community where Satan can't go in without proper identification and justification and Phil is the lowest maintenance possible partner in the planet. Just throw a genuine custom italian frozen casserole in the microwave and he's happy.
She will move when something better comes along, hell she might be actively looking for something better right now since she was talking to Phil while living with Subaru Man, but a gravy train better than Phil will be hard to come by because let's be real here, she's no exactly a swimsuit model.

 

[Salubrious]

I’m about the same age as Phil. I’m into some things that would be considered geeky and nerdy, but I’ve never understood the appeal of Pokémon. Just one of those huge cultural phenomenons that went right by me.

This Pokémon stream is just beyond cringe levels today. Hearing his (likely fake) excitement for taking pictures of colorful creatures that look like they’re for babies is making my face tighten up into an expression of total disgust. “Wow! Did you see that?! (said in a high pitch with a voice crack) Look at this guy! Whoa! I got a A+ on that one! Interesting! That’s really cool! And, oh, look at that! Ohhh! Some really cool pictures and cool poses!”

He’s speaking in that “gentler” voice a lot today, like when he talks to Jasper. Like he’s full of childlike wonder. It’s just...

Slight powerlevel, but I was always a Yu-Gi-Oh! man myself. I especially now like the Japanese cartoon version because there was none of the 4Kids censorship, Marik was straight up challenging people to death games.

That being said, I at least understand a 39 year old man playing Pokemon if he grew up with it and loved it all his life. If it was for nostalgia then fine, but it's not for DSP. He's just doing it because it's on his pinwheel schedule. It's a weird game for a man like DSP to be playing. I know DSP is playing it both for the "new release" and because, let's be honest, it's not that hard a game. But it's still weird for a 39 year old man who doesn't give any fucks about Pokemon to be playing a Pokemon game.

 

[tomstone]

did he stop verifying the tips? So it was all a lie?

always has been.
maybe a few small chargebacks here and there but not the 1000s and 1000s of $ he was talking about

 

[SauceRyuKen]

Phil's love of Snap makes sense. It plays into his desire for absolute simplicity in his games, an inability to really fail, and it feeds his wild autism about watching woodland creatures frolic.

Derich's love of this game is disturbing when you consider that he loves watching this, but probably has some raunchy porn and several porn star twitter accounts open in the tabs next to Phil on his browser. I wonder what will happen once Derich ends up on the sex offender list - will Phil just pretend he never existed? All the Derich memes stuffed into a drawer next to the silver chain...

Yeah, Phil loves him some do-nothing braindead games. Still, his decision to cover Bugsnax was more or less justified. While it wasn't a new hot thing, it was on a new console that he had just got, and it also had barely any exclusive titles or games that weren't just upscaled PS4 titles... Even though Bugsnax could run pretty well on a PS3. Phil always had covered story-driven games like the Telltale walking simulators, so not entirely out of his field.

Snap, however, makes no damn sense. It's a 40 year old man playing a game for literal young children. Watching it isn't fun. He's got nothing to cover how slow it is. His talks with chat are limited to what Kat is cooking/has cooked/plans on cooking (And it's all nukable feasts, so you can even press X on the cooking part!) and there's absolutely 0 challenge, and as you've said Phil can't even really fail. It's awful. He's still crying poor and instilling this sense of urgency on his paypigs to empty their wallets faster, and he's buying games that not only he could do without, but will actually make his stream into a bigger shitshow than it already is.

And it baffles me how Phil is just letting a weird sex pervert and crazed coomer into his fold so happily. I thought Phil's whole new thing was how he's HolySydeFlanders now. He bathes with a swimsuit on to prevent himself for seeing his sinful dingaling, and sex with Kat doesn't occur because it upsets the almighty. A single boob in a game is enough to give him the vapors, and sexually active fictional women are absolutely verbotten. Meanwhile Derich can congratulate insane Russian girls for managing to cram three penises and a dildo into their rectum and that's all good in the hood. I'd say that maybe what Derich does on his own time is his business if it's private, but it's done in public and using his real name! How the hell is basic math not allowed in the pigcult but Derich can get as many Luna Mills shoutouts as he wants?

Then again, Phil's still doing his creepy slide into yo DMs routine on Twitter if he smells so much as a whiff of maybe-female-user. And that is somehow not cheating. But dating in judgment would be. It makes a lot of sense, if you don't think about it.

EDIT:

Spoiler: Casual pokemon streaming, young audiences and Phil

Perhaps this is surprising to many, but Pokemon, ever since the very start was a RIDICULOUSLY nerdy game at it's core. There's this whole rigamarole with how a pokemon's stats work in that they can get several "tiers", them being perfect, close to perfect, above average, average, etcetera. The game was stupidly deep for what essentially amounted to crappy animal sprites slapping each other with bad animations. There's a ton of knowledge to acquire, and a massive fuckton of little tweaks you can make to your team that functionally make no difference but make everything run 0.1% more efficiently and therefore you should do them. I stopped playing after gen 2, but I've ocasionally done some challenge runs of it. Gen 2 introduced this stupid-ass breeding mechanic where you would first spend hours hunting for a Perfect Stats Ditto, and then spend hours running an undeniably creepy train of your favorite pokemon on that Ditto to have the same pokemon, but stronger. And sometimes with busted moves from level 5. Yes, it literally made it so that all your hard work until the point of catching the perfect Ditto was literally useless, if you wanted to be as strong as possible.

Pokemon has, unsurprisingly, a tremendously dedicated community of absolute fucking masters of the game who can tell you, off the top of their head, who is top tier for every generation, what made them top tier, the funny anecdote where Smeargle got known mostly for using a completely broken Legendary signature move that put 2 pokemon to sleep in one turn, guaranteed, and how due to the quirks in Gen 1, the humble and common Rattatta was a fucking murderous little bastard. In fact, Rattatta and his evo kept being a surprisingly powerful pokemon in ensuing gens partly because of the "Rattatta just wiped an entire team with Super Fang" meme. Pokemon is really unique, it bridges the generation gap, and mild powerlevel, if I ever end up having kids, I will teach them all the bullshit to make a supremely busted team.

My point being that if you just never grew out of pokemon, that's fine. It's a very solid franchise, and honestly, it's cool to like things, even if someone is probably a little too old for them. But with how steep the competition is, and how fucking scummy Phil has been about his pokemon streams (Bid to name my pokemon, and if someone outbids you... Tough shit, ackackack!) he really has no place streaming it to reach a new audience. It's a beloved franchise, but Phil's playstyle and approach to pokemon in general just makes him be squarely in the lowest rung of streamers for the game, shawking, I know. Pokemon absolutely needs crutches to be a good streaming game. Just playing it the way it is underlines how easy and accesible for children it is; Trying to get these presumably young viewers to open their wallets to name your mons something stupid just feels extra slimy, even for Phil. And god knows the mention of the words "Nuzlocke" or "One Mon Run" would make him faint. And Phil not tagging his own stream as adults only means he's literally trying to entertain children.

I don't usually feel like Phil is "ruining" this or that franchise, but him playing a game specifically aimed at children AND running his cranked up to 11 beg routine just reminds me of how much of a despicable scammer he's become. I know it's corny as fuck "Will nobody think of the chiiildrennnn" but I just don't think one should try to pry pennies out of a kid's pockets with a sob story, because fuck, they might actually believe you. Scamming dumbass young adults and actual wheelchairs is one thing, because at least you could say they should know better, but kids just feels wrong to me. If you've read the spoiler, your prize is to slap me with a fedora I guess. Thanks for your time.

 

[snort inquisition]

According to Phil, he only saw the original TIHYDP's and some highlights because "someone sent it to him because it was funny". He also "doesn't watch videos in general". Pokémon Snap is also going to be relegated to the night stream from now on because it's a chill game

EDIT: Just said that he doesn't like the newer TIHYDP's because they reuse the same shitty jokes over and over.....welp, they may be shitty but at least there's more humor in them than any joke Phil has ever come up with

is there jokes in them at all? i thought all they were was phil's dogshit gamer skills and boring painful gameplay

 

[But I Digress]

Then again, Phil's still doing his creepy slide into yo DMs routine on Twitter if he smells so much as a whiff of maybe-female-user. And that is somehow not cheating. But dating in judgment would be. It makes a lot of sense, if you don't think about it.

wait, when did this happen and how did I miss this?

 

[bajagoogoo]

ONLY ICED COFFEE IS FINALLY A MODERATOR.

And all it cost him was $6,943.17.

Makes sense. Unfortunately OIC is too indoctrinated to see he's being corralled.

OIC had no intention of leaving Twitch if Phil went to YouTube. Now that he's Phil's mod he can't keep that modship if he doesn't follow Phil.

If Phil decides to stay on Twitch, he's locked down OIC regardless and OIC is likely none the wiser.

The really sad thing about OIC is what he could've done with that almost $7k:

He could've bounced into random small streams, threw them a couple hundred and made them genuinely happy. Be a stand out presence on Twitch.

Instead, give it to a man who pulls down $130k, wouldn't give two squirts of piss if OIC fucked off and would throw him under the bus the second he pulled a Benedict Arnold.

 

[Sugar Puppet]

Phil is either enjoying this game way too much or really anxious about something because he's rocking back and forth and bouncing around on his chair even more than usual.

 

[Shirō Ishii]

wait, when did this happen and how did I miss this?

Odd how Phil will go through hell and high water to avoid any type of interaction with fictional females in videogames if possible, but will go out of his way to reply only to this female in his twitter poll thread at 1:30am Renton time while his wife is asleep... and then pretend he isn't a prude in regard to other females when called out. Careful there Philly boy...

View attachment 2128364
View attachment 2128365

From page 7,514 last Thursday

 

[SauceRyuKen]

wait, when did this happen and how did I miss this?

Here. There were two more answers. A guy told Phil "Careful buddy, you're married." Phil responded "I'm not Mike Pence." Those are suspiciously deleted now. I think you can find the whole thing a few pages back on the thread. Maybe I made it sound worse than it really was, but being honest: Wouldn't talking to an ACTUAL woman be far worse than making Yagami date a chick in Judgment? Apparently not.

EDIT: Ninja'd in HQ by Hadidecount!
EDIT2: https://twitter.com/gremlingangg/status/1387683966409396224 link if anyone wants to check that the responses are deleted.

 

[Filthy Greenskin]

Then again, Phil's still doing his creepy slide into yo DMs routine on Twitter if he smells so much as a whiff of maybe-female-user. And that is somehow not cheating. But dating in judgment would be. It makes a lot of sense, if you don't think about it.

Nice Guy™ on internet says he respects women and hates nudity but is actually a creep to any woman he sees?? Say it's not so!

As for Phil's love of pokemon, don't forget that as a franchise it is aimed at children. Yes it is enjoyed by people who grew up with it but the target audience is always going to be the 8-11 year olds, hence the simple gameplay and stories aimed at kids. Pokemon Snap at the time was the moment some ten year old in the ninties could see the shitty GB sprites in 3D which at the time was next-level immersion though like most games from that era is has aged like milk, but with the new Snap it is not only a nostalgia purchase for those N64 kids but also to bait in the market of kids that haven't played it.

The fact it is made for kids is what Phil loves because you cannot lose at Snap. You can take bad pictures or miss a pokemon but you can go around again in a little while, the game constantly praises you and there is no chance of you getting outsmarted by an AI because the pathing moves slow enough that even Phil's delayed reactions can pick out the brightly coloured pokemon and he can fumble around to zoom in because it's expecting a six year old to the playing it. Even so, he still can't understand what a clear or good photo is. The pokemon is in the frame, why is it only two stars?? Hence I doubt we'll see a full completion because he can barely put on pants in the morning, let alone understand what a good photo looks like.

Still, I imagine it'll be is GOTY because it doesn't challenge him, he only has to press one button and the game will still give you sympathy points for taking the photo so Phil will never be a loser. In his mind anyway.